第一篇：英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)劇本

612 The One With The Joke 612 笑話

[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there.Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.]

蔣雨晨: Hey, you’re not going to believe this.I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy.They printed it!嘿，這真不可思議。我把我編的笑話寄給《花花公子》，他們竟然登出來(lái)了！

薛思強(qiáng): I didn’t know Playboy prints jokes.真不知道《花花公子》還登笑話。

蔣雨晨: Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism.It’s not just about the pictures.沒(méi)錯(cuò)，他們登笑話，采訪稿，有力的新聞，并不只是那些照片。

蔡海瑞: That didn’t work on mom, it’s not going to work on us.反正不會(huì)說(shuō)服媽媽看，我們也不看。

蔣雨晨:(showing them the page)Here, check it out.It’s the first one, too.(They all laugh indifferently, except Chandler, who’s a little angry.)

瞧這，頭一條就是我的。

李剛: That is funny.It was also funny when I made it up.很有趣，更有趣的是，這笑話是我編的。

蔣雨晨: What? 什么？

李剛: I made that joke up.這笑話是我編的

Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didn’t.I did.不，不，不對(duì)，這是我編的。

Chandler: Yes, I did.I told it to Dan at work, and he said it was the funniest joke he’d ever heard.是我編的。我在上班的時(shí)候把它講給DAN，他說(shuō)這是他聽(tīng)過(guò)的最好的笑話。

Ross: Hey, tell Dan, ‘Thanks.’

(Rachel is looking at the magazine and laughing.)嘿，替我謝謝DAN。Ross: What? 怎么了？

Rachel: I’m sorry, I was just reading the joke below it.Man, that one is funny.(Ross grabs the magazine away from her.)對(duì)不起，我在看下面那則笑話，啊，它真搞笑。

Chandler: Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right? 莫尼卡，你記得我給你講過(guò)這個(gè)笑話，對(duì)嗎？

Monica: No.不記得。

Chandler: Seriously? 真的？

Monica: Well, you tell a lot of jokes!你的笑話講的太多了！

Ross: Look, Chandler, it’s my joke.But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they don’t print the name, so it doesn’t really matter who gets credit, right?

聽(tīng)著錢德，這是我的笑話。但是，嘿，他們沒(méi)有印我的名字，也許這讓你好過(guò)一點(diǎn)。所以究竟該歸功于誰(shuí)并不重要，對(duì)吧？

Chandler: Yeah, I guess.對(duì)，我想是。

Joey:(entering)Hey guys.嘿，諸位。

Chandler:(jumping up from his chair)Hey, Joey, Playboy printed my joke.嘿喬依，《花花公子》登出了我的笑話。

Ross: No, it’s my joke, it’s mine.You can call them, they’ll tell you.不，這是我的笑話，是我的。你可以給他們打電話，他們會(huì)告訴你的。

Chandler: It’s my joke.是我的笑話。

Ross: It’s my joke.是我的笑話。

Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa.Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right? 哇嗚！笑話？你們肯定知道里面有裸體小妞，對(duì)吧？

第二篇：校園趣事(搞笑、英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)、五人、中英文劇本)

此劇本講述了三個(gè)學(xué)渣討債不成、學(xué)霸搞基的搞笑故事，結(jié)局出人意料卻在情理之中。適合五人表演

校園趣事

場(chǎng)景一

小華家

小華 小雨 小飛上

小雨——大哥 咱們都餓了好幾天了 這種悲慘的生活我們要過(guò)到什么時(shí)候啊 哎 小華——雨 這 大哥我怎么可能不難受嘛 可是常言道 人在屋檐下 怎能不低頭 現(xiàn)在我們正在******大學(xué)學(xué)習(xí)這年頭能有這大學(xué)讀就很不錯(cuò)了 哪還有什么奢求呀

小飛 ——大哥 對(duì)了 上個(gè)月小罡來(lái)問(wèn)我們借走了500塊錢給他朋友交托福學(xué)費(fèi) 都好久了還沒(méi)還 我們是不是應(yīng)該去要回來(lái)

小雨——是啊大哥 不然的話這樣下去我們就得吃翔了

小華——哎 就是 我怎么這岔給忘了 走 走 走 趕緊跟我去隔壁寢室 旁白——兄弟三人就此去了隔壁寢室找小罡 小雨：（敲門）小罡，開(kāi)門，開(kāi)門（小罡對(duì)小明做出噓的姿勢(shì)）小雨：好像出去了，我們先回去吧（走回去）

場(chǎng)景二

小明——大家早上好 我就是天才小明 可我最近卻很是郁悶 我那個(gè)基友非要拉我去參加什么托?？荚?還要我看這么厚的書(shū) 做這么多的題（雙手指一指PPT上的金瓶梅給大家看看）真是太可笑了

我以后可是要當(dāng)科學(xué)家的！干嘛還要我看這種書(shū)

小罡—小明（遠(yuǎn)處喊）

小明——基友來(lái)了 他太啰嗦了

我可受不了 小罡——親愛(ài)的 你的書(shū)背的怎么樣了 小明——這些書(shū)看得我頭昏眼花 光想打瞌睡

小罡——哎 你看 現(xiàn)在競(jìng)爭(zhēng)這么激烈 我已經(jīng)在這待小半輩子了 你要是不好好考托福，我們還怎么去外國(guó)留學(xué)？

旁白：過(guò)了10分鐘，三人又來(lái)了（走回來(lái)）

小飛：（敲門）開(kāi)門，開(kāi)門（小罡對(duì)小明做出噓的姿勢(shì)）小雨：好像還沒(méi)有回寢室（過(guò)了會(huì)兒，又回去）

小明—— 這些書(shū)太簡(jiǎn)單了 統(tǒng)統(tǒng)不用看（扔書(shū)）小罡——哼！你說(shuō)簡(jiǎn)單 那我考考你 小明——小小考試焉能難道我（對(duì)觀眾說(shuō)）小罡——首先考你聽(tīng)寫(xiě)（小明郁悶狀）聽(tīng)著 大媽 怎么寫(xiě) 土豪 怎么寫(xiě) 小明——。。。小罡——土豪 怎么寫(xiě) 小明——（不會(huì) 抓耳撓腮）小罡——你連這都不會(huì)。小明——崩潰了（捂耳朵 忙勸）小明（做找單詞狀）（刪除一句）

小罡（怒）——你近日溫習(xí)功課 一律不準(zhǔn)見(jiàn)外人 來(lái)人我就說(shuō)你回家去了

我先去洗澡 你給我繼續(xù)學(xué)習(xí)

旁白——由于去了兩次都沒(méi)開(kāi)門，小飛怒了

小飛——大哥 下次要見(jiàn)小罡 你先給我說(shuō)一聲 我把他綁來(lái)見(jiàn)你 如此勞煩大哥 甚是無(wú)禮

小華——現(xiàn)在欠錢的都是大爺 我們還是再去一回吧

小飛——（等不及了）小罡 快出來(lái) 兄弟們 幫我照顧好我七舅老爺和他三外甥女。。你要是不出來(lái) 我就一把火把你這寢室燒了！

小雨——葵花點(diǎn)穴手（小飛定住 眼睛睜得大大的）哎 飛 我們是來(lái)要債的 又不是來(lái)要命的 你把人家砍死了 誰(shuí)來(lái)給我們還債呀 明白了 你就眨眨眼睛

（小飛眨眼）小雨——葵花解穴手

旁白——過(guò)了一會(huì)

小華、小雨、小飛三人已經(jīng)到了門口

場(chǎng)景三

（小華

咚咚咚敲門）

三人：小罡（小明準(zhǔn)備開(kāi)門）

旁白——小明正在興奮的時(shí)候 小罡馬上從浴室出來(lái) 小罡——不能讓他進(jìn)來(lái)

小明——親愛(ài)的 請(qǐng)放心 我定能讓小華空手而歸（小明開(kāi)門）

三人——還錢?。ù藭r(shí)三人用槍指著小明頭）小明——給我一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì) 我想做個(gè)好人 小華——怎么給你機(jī)會(huì) 說(shuō)出來(lái)看看

小明——請(qǐng)看(扇子指向幻燈片 幻燈片放***、****等答案大全)小華——（若有所思）看不出你如此有見(jiàn)地 小明——如果我把這文件送給你們 不知可否抵債 小華——這??（瞬間驚喜）不知以后可否抱你的大腿 小明（眼珠子轉(zhuǎn)轉(zhuǎn)）看來(lái)不能幫你。。

小華——（急）請(qǐng)先生莫要推辭（手里拿著錢，晃一晃）

小明——這。。只是小弟近日正在為托福煩惱，如果你能將此事幫在下了結(jié)，這也不是不行。

小華——（面有難色）這。。

小飛 ——（拉小華到身邊耳語(yǔ)到）大哥，這年代，我們可以找槍手，買答案啊。（幻燈片放淘寶上的答案）小華——好

場(chǎng)景四

旁白——三個(gè)月后，托福成績(jī)出來(lái)了。小明——好消息好消息 我托?？剂?14分

小罡——什么！114分！這下我們終于可以去芬蘭了（ppt上放“芬蘭允許同性戀”圖片）

旁白——故事就此完結(jié)。（PPT上放“結(jié)束 謝謝觀賞”）

SCENE 1:

Actors: XiaoHua

XiaoYu

XiaoFei

XiaoYu: Brother!We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic life end? It's so terrible!

XiaoHua: Yu, it's impossible that I don’t feel painful, isn’t it? But as the proverb says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope.Now we are studying in ****** , It's very hard to get into the university now.What are you dreaming about?

XiaoFei: Oh, Brother!XiaoGang borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his friend’s TOEFL fees last month, it seems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.XiaoYu: Yeah, Brother!Or we have to eat shit.XiaoHua: Alas!How did I forget this? Let's go!Go~~ go~!Hurry up!Follow me and go to the next dormitory

Aside: And then the three brothers go to the next dormitory to find XiaoGang.XIAOYU: XiaoGang, open the door!Open the door.XIAOYU: He may be go out.Let's go back.SCENE 2: XIAOMING’s house

XIAOMING: Good morning!I am the genius XIAOMING.But I feel so morose recently.Because my gay friend forced me to pass the TOEFL.And he obliged me to read so heavy books and do so many texts.It’s ridiculous.I decided to be a scientist.Why should I read this?

XiaoGang: XiaoMing!

XIAOMING：My gay friend is coming，he is so long-winded that I can never bear his.XiaoGang：Honey, how about your study?

XIAOMING：These books make me want to doze.I’m dizzy.XiaoGang：Alas!Competition is so serious now.I have stayed here for half of a lifetime.If you can’t pass TOEFL, how can we study abroad?

Aside: After ten minutes, three people came again

XIAOFEI: Open the door!Open Open!

XIAOYU: It seems that he has not back to the dormitory.XIAOMING：Don’t worry, these books are too easy for me and don’t need to learn.XiaoGang：Are you sure? Let me have a test to you.Listen，read and see!XIAOMING：A piece of cake!

XiaoGang：First, dictation.Listen, can you spell 大媽? 土豪?

XIAOMING: ……..XiaoGang：土豪?

XIAOMING: Sorry I can’t.XiaoGang： You can’t?

XIAOMING（找單詞狀）

XiaoGang：You are too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so I will tell the people who calls on you that you have gone home.I need to take a shower now.You still study！

Aside: Because they went twice, but no one came to the door.XiaoFei was very angry.XIAOFEI: Please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind him up for you.It really should not trouble you to come here time and time again.XIAOHUA: These days, the borrower is the god!Let’s go there again.XIAOFEI: XiaoGang!Come out!Brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece.Get out, or I will burn your dormitory down!

XIAOYU: 葵花點(diǎn)穴手!AIsa.Fei, we are here for debt, not for his life.If you will kill him, where is our money? If you know, please bat your eyes!

XIAOYU: 葵花解穴手!

Aside: Then, XiaoHua XiaoYu XiaoFei came to the gate.（小華 咚咚咚敲門）

Three: XiaoGang

（小明準(zhǔn)備開(kāi)門）

Aside: At this time, XiaoMing is exciting, but XiaoGang get out of the bathroom soon.XiaoGang: We can’t let him in.XiaoMing: My darling, please don’t worry.I can make XiaoHua go back with nothing

（小明開(kāi)門）

Three : Pay back my money

XIAOMING: Please give me a chance, I want to be an honest man.XiaoHua: How can I give you a chance? Speak it to the judge.XIAOMING: Look

XiaoHua: You are so knowledgeable.XIAOMING: If I give you the document, could I not repay your money?

XiaoHua: En…….I hope I can hug you close some day

XIAOMING: But I can’t help you，XiaoHua: Please don’t refuse.XIAOMING: En……sorry, I can’t.Because my gay friend forces me to pass the TOEFL recently.If you can help me to resolve the problem, I will help you.XIAOHUA: En…..XiaoFei:(Pull)Brother, come here.We can find somebody help him do the test or buy a key?

XiaoHua:Great

SCENE 4: XIAOMING’s Home

Aside：After three month, TOEFL scores came out.XIAOMING：（Happy）Sir , I am really a god.TOEFL has got 114 scores.XiaoGang：What happened? 114 scores!We can go to Finland eventually.Aside: That’s all, Thank you!

第三篇：英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)考試四人劇本之interview 面試

背景介紹：

一家公司要招聘Rose和Jack 是面試官，Ada和Awen是應(yīng)聘者

情景一：兩位面試官確認(rèn)身份，詢問(wèn)應(yīng)聘者，說(shuō)明招聘的職位，能力要求 情景二：兩位應(yīng)聘者的自我介紹

情景三：面試官向兩位應(yīng)聘者提問(wèn)題，問(wèn)題有，A:Hello,Miss Awen,Miss Ada,I ‘m Rose

B:I’m Jack，nice to meet you ,now you two should make a introduction first.C: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen!It is really my honor to have this opportunity for an interview.I hope I can make a good performance today.I'm confident that I can succeed.Now I will introduce myself briefly.I am 26 years old, born in Shandong province.I graduated from Qingdao University.My major is electronics.And I got my bachelor degree after my graduation in the year of 2003.I spent most of my time on study, and I’ve passed CET-6 during my university.And I’ve acquired basic knowledge of my major.It is my long cherished dream to be an engineer and I am eager to get an opportunity to fully play my ability.I think I'm a good team player and a person of great honesty to others.Also，I am able to work under great pressure.I am confident that I am qualified for the post of engineer in your company.That’s all.Thank you for giving me the chance.D: Good monring.It's a pleasure for me to be here in front of you to present myself.My name is Philip Wong, and I am a candidate for the position of Overseas Sales Representative.My background and work experience are tailor-made for this position.I studied marketing as an undergrad here in Taiwan, and in 1985, I received my MBA from the University of Texas School of Business.For five years now, I have utilized my skills and knowledge as the Assistant Director of Exports for magic kitchen Supplies.A position with your company would be both a learning experience and a great opportunity.I look forward to becoming part of the Action team.Thank you.A：Are you a multi-tasked individual？（你是一位可以同時(shí)承擔(dān)數(shù)項(xiàng)工作的人嗎？）or Do youwork well under stress or pressure？（你能承受工作上的壓力嗎？）C：Yes，I think so.The trait is needed in my current（or previous）position and I know I can handle it well.（這種特點(diǎn)就是我目前（先前）工作所需要的，我知道我能應(yīng)付自如。）B：What is your strongest trait（s）？（你個(gè)性上最大的特點(diǎn)是什么？）D：Helpfulness and caring.（樂(lè)于助人和關(guān)心他人。）Adaptability and sense of humor.（適應(yīng)能力和幽默感。）Cheerfulness and friendliness.（樂(lè)觀和友愛(ài)。）

A： How would your friends or colleagues describe you？（你的朋友或同事怎樣形容你？）C：（pause a few seconds）（稍等幾秒鐘再答，表示慎重考慮。）They say Mr.Chen is anhonest，hardworking and responsible man who deeply cares for his family and friends.（他們說(shuō)陳先生是位誠(chéng)實(shí)、工作努力，負(fù)責(zé)任的人，他對(duì)家庭和朋友都很關(guān)心。）D：They say Mr.Chen is a friendly，sensitive，caring and determined person.（他們說(shuō)陳先生是位很友好、敏感、關(guān)心他人和有決心的人。）B：What personality traits do you admire？（你欣賞哪種性格的人？）

C：（I admire a person who is）honest，flexible and easy-going.（誠(chéng)實(shí)、不死板而且容易相處的人。）

D:（I like）people who possess the “can do” spirit.（有“實(shí)際行動(dòng)”的人。）

A：What leadership qualities did you develop as an administrative personnel？（作為行政人員，你有什么樣的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)才能？）

C：I feel that learning how to motivate people and to work together as a team will be the major goal of my leadership.（我覺(jué)得學(xué)習(xí)如何把人們的積極性調(diào)動(dòng)起來(lái)，以及如何配合協(xié)同的團(tuán)隊(duì)精神，是我行政工作的主要目標(biāo)。）

D:I have refined my management style by using an open-door policy.（我以開(kāi)放式的政策，改進(jìn)我的行政管理方式。）

B：How do you normally handle criticism？（你通常如何處理別人的批評(píng)？）

C：Silence is golden.Just don‘t say anything;otherwise the situation could become worse.I do，however，accept constructive criticism.（沈默是金。不必說(shuō)什么，否則情況更糟，不過(guò)我會(huì)接受建設(shè)性的批評(píng)。）

D：When we cool off，we will discuss it later.（我會(huì)等大家冷靜下來(lái)再討論。）B： What do you find frustrating in a work situation？（在工作中，什么事令你不高興？）C： Sometimes，the narrow-minded people make me frustrated.（胸襟狹窄的人，有時(shí)使我泄氣。）

D：Minds that are not receptive to new ideas.（不能接受新思想的那些取。）

A：How do you handle your conflict with your colleagues in your work？（你如何處理與同事在工作中的意見(jiàn)不和？）

C：I will try to present my ideas in a more clear and civilized manner in order to get my points across.（我要以更清楚文明的方式，提出我的看法，使對(duì)方了解我的觀點(diǎn)。）B：How do you handle your failure？（你怎樣對(duì)待自己的失??？）

C： None of us was born “perfect”。I am sure I will be given a second chance to correct my mistake.（我們大家生來(lái)都不是十全十美的，我相信我有第二個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)改正我的錯(cuò)誤。）D:Well, I am hoping to get an offer of a better position.If an opportunity knocks, I will take it.我希望能獲得一份更好的工作，如果機(jī)會(huì)來(lái)臨，我會(huì)抓住。所以我亦有此打算。" A:OK,Thank you very much B:we need time to think it over

A:We will email you in 2days,please wait in patence C:thank you ,see you D:see you

第四篇：英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)

1.It dawns on us slowly.我們漸漸地明白.2.I can't be resting on my laurels.我不能安于現(xiàn)狀.3.Come to your senses.不要再做傻事了.4.It slipped my mind.我忘了.5.You're all lame!你們太遜了。

【美劇口語(yǔ)】1.It fits the pattern.這很典型.2.She wasn't just any girl.她不是一般的女孩.3.She's big on trust.她總刨根究底.4.She will come around.她會(huì)回心轉(zhuǎn)意的.5.Quit your whining.不要發(fā)牢騷了.6.Headed your way繼續(xù)往前走.7.The rest comes with time剩下的順其自然吧.—《吸血鬼日記》

40句美國(guó)人嘴邊最酷的英語(yǔ) 1.My time is your time.請(qǐng)你吩咐！2.My hands are tied.我很忙，無(wú)能為力。3.To make a long story short.長(zhǎng)話短說(shuō)。4.It’s a date.一言為定。5.That’s a steal.真便宜。6.She has no sense.她不懂事。7.It’s not big deal.沒(méi)什么了不起。8.What’s the fuss? 吵什么？ 9.Don’t push me.別逼我。10.Have a good of it.玩得高興。11.Go down to business.言歸正傳。12.Does it serve your purpose? 對(duì)你有用嗎？ 13.It’s long story.一言難盡。14.Don’t play possum.別裝蒜！15.Make it up.不計(jì)前嫌。16.Don’t over do it.別太過(guò)分了。17.You want a bet? 想打賭嗎？ 18.Who wants? 誰(shuí)稀罕？ 19.December heartbeat.黃昏戀。20.Follow my nose.憑直覺(jué) 21.Cheap skate.小氣鬼！22.Big mouth.多嘴。23.I’m going to go.我這就去。24.can-do 能人 25.Leave me alone.別理我。26.Don’t pass the buck.不要推卸責(zé)任。27.I can’t put up with her.我受不了她。28.She is just thick-skinned.她真是厚臉皮。29.I see eye to eye with you.我與你的意見(jiàn)一致。30.We are on good terms.我們關(guān)系很好。31.Many people.many tastes.各有所好。32.One man’s meat is another man’s poison.對(duì)一個(gè)好的事對(duì)另外的人并不是好事。33.Many hands make light work.人多好干活。34.I won’t live on the handouts of other people.我不會(huì)靠人家的施舍過(guò)活。35.He is on his high horse these days.他這幾天有點(diǎn)趾高氣昂。36.You give him an inch and he will take a mile.得寸進(jìn)尺。37.He is a fast talker.他是個(gè)吹牛大王。38.I can’t make two ends meet.青黃不接，月光一族 39.None of your keyhole.不準(zhǔn)偷看。40.You don’t say!真想不到！

第五篇：英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)

“Why are you crying?” he asked his Mom.“Because I’m a woman.” she told him.“I don’t understand,” he said.His Mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will...” He put in a call to God;when God got on the phone, the man said, “God, why do women cry so easily?”God said,“When I made woman she had to be special.I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world;yet gentle enough to give comfort.I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up and take care of her family through fatigue and sickness without complaining.I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt them very badly.I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.I gave her a tear to shed.It’s hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.It’s her only weakness.It’s a tear for mankind.