第一篇：TED演講 20歲光陰不再來(lái)

When I was in my 20s,I saw my very first psychotherapy(心理診療)client.I was a Ph.D.student in clinical psychology(臨床心理學(xué))at Berkeley.She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy(寬松的)top,and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.Now when I heard this,I was so relieved.My classmate got an arsonist(縱火犯)for her first client.And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys.This I thought I could handle.But I didn't handle it.With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session,it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.“Thirty's the new 20,”Alex would say,and as far as I could tell,she was right.Work happened later,marriage happened later,kids happened later,even death happened later.Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time.But before long,my supervisor(導(dǎo)師)pushed me to push Alex about her love life.I pushed back.I said,“Sure,she's dating down,”(她的對(duì)象很差勁)she's sleeping with a knucklehead(傻瓜),but it's not like she's going to marry the guy.“And then my supervisor said,”Not yet,but she might marry the next one.Besides,the best time to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one.(結(jié)婚之前)“That's what psychologists call an ”Aha!“moment(頓悟時(shí)刻).That was the moment I realized,30 is not the new 20.Yes,people settle down later than they used to,but that didn't make Alex's 20s a developmental downtime.(沒(méi)錯(cuò)，現(xiàn)在人們結(jié)婚的年齡比以前大一些，但這并沒(méi)有使Alex的20歲成為發(fā)展的擱淺期。)That made Alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot,and we were sitting there blowing(揮霍)it.That was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect(善意的忽視)was a real problem,and it had real consequences,not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysometings everywhere.There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now.We're talking about 15 percent of the population,or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.(都要先經(jīng)歷過(guò)他們的20歲才能進(jìn)入成年)If you work with twentysomthings,you love a twentysomething,you're losing sleep over twentysomethings,I want to see----Okay.Awesome,twentysometings really matter.So I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists,sociologists,neurologists and fertility specialists already know:that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest,yet most transformative,things you can do for work,for love,for your happiness,maybe even for the world.This is not my opinion.These are the facts.We know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments take place by age 35.That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and ”Aha!“moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s.We know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn.We konw that more than half of Americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30.We know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt(高峰)in your 20s as it rewires(開(kāi)啟…模式)itself for adulthood,which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself,now is the time to change it.we know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life,and we know that female fertility peaks(生育能力高峰)at age 28,and things get tricky after age 35.So your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.So when we think about child development,we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain.It's a time when your ordinary,day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become.But what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as adult development,and our 20s are the critical period of adult development.But this isn't what twentysomethings are hearing.(但是很少有人告訴20多歲的人這些話(huà)。)Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood.Researchers call the 20s an ectended adolescence(青春的延長(zhǎng)期).Journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like ”twixters“(夾在中間者)and ”kidults“（成年孩子）.As a culture,we have trivialized(習(xí)慣忽視)what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things,you need a plan and not quit enough time.So what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say,”You have 10 extra years to start your life“?Nothing happens.You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition,and absolutely nothing happens.And then every day,smart,interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this:”I know my boyfriend's no good for me,but this relationship doesn't count.I'm just killing time.“Or they say,”Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I'm 30,I'll be fine.“But then is starts to sound like this:”My 20s are almost over,and I have nothing to show for myself.I had a better resume the day after I graduated from college.“And then it starts to sound like this:”Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs(搶椅子).Everybody was running around and having fun,but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down.I didn't want to be the only one left standing up,so sometimes I think I married my husband,because he was the closest chair to me to 30.“Do not do that.Okay,now that sounds a little flip,but make no mistake,the stakes(風(fēng)險(xiǎn))are very high.When a lot has been pushed to your 30s,there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career,pick a city,partner up(結(jié)婚),and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time.Many of those things are incompatible(互不相容的),and as research is just starting to show,simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.The post-millennial midlife crisis(千禧年后的中年危機(jī))isn't by a red sports car.It's realizing you can't have that career you now want.It's realizing you can't have that child you now want,or you can give your child a sibling(姊妹).Too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves,and at me,sitting across the room and say about their 20s,”What was I doing?What was I thinking?“I want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.Here's a story about how that can go.It's a story about a woman named Emma.At 25,Emma came to my office because she was,in her words,having an identity crisis.She said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment,but she hadn't decided yet,so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables instead.Because it was cheaper,she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition.And as hard as her 20s were,her early life had been even harder.She often cried in our sessions,but then would collect(安慰)herself by saying,“You can't pick your family,but you can pick your friends.”Well one day,Emma comes in,and she hangs her head in her lap,and she sobbed for most of the hour.She'd just bought a new address book,and she'd spend the morning filling in her many contacts,but then she'd been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words”In case of emergency,please call….“She was nearly hysterical(歇斯底里)when she looked at me and said,“Who's going to be there for me if I get in a car wreck?Who's going to take care of me if I have cancer?”Now in that moment,it took everything I had not to say,”I will.“But what Emma needed wasn't some therapist(心理醫(yī)師)who really,really cared.Emma needed a better life,and I knew this was her chance.I had learned too much since I first worked with Alex to just sit there while Emma's defining decade went parading by.So over the next weeks and months,I told Emma,three things that every twentysomething,male or female,deserves to hear.First,I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital(身份資本).By get identity capital,I mean do something that adds value to who you are.Do something that's an investment(投資)in who you might want to be next.I didn't know the future of Emma's career,and no one knows the future of work,but I do know this:Identity capital begets identity capital.(身份資本會(huì)成為身份的資本)So now is the time for that cross-country job,that internship,that startup you want to try.I'm not discounting twentysomething exploration here,but I am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count(我是在勸誡你們不要做無(wú)謂的探索),which,by the way,is not exploration,That's procrastination(拖延).I told Emma to explore work and make it count.Second,I told Emma that the urban tribe is overrated(不要坐井觀(guān)天).Best friends are great for giving rides to the airport,but twentysomethings who huddle together(交往)with like-minded peers limit who they know,what they think,how they speak,and where they work.That new piece of capital,that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle.New things come from what are called our weak ties(新事物來(lái)自于我們所謂的弱關(guān)系),our friends of friends of friends.So yes,half of twentysomethings are un-or under-employed.But half aren't,and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group.(弱關(guān)系就是你進(jìn)入那個(gè)群體的途徑)Half of new jobs are never posted,so reaching out to your neighbor's boss,is how you get that un-posted job.(有一半的新工作是沒(méi)有招聘信息的，所以去問(wèn)你鄰居的老板，是你得到那個(gè)沒(méi)有招聘信息的工作的方法。)It's not cheating.It's the science of how information spreads.(這不是走后門(mén)，信息就是這樣傳播的)Last but not least,Emma believed that you can't pick your family,but you can pick your friends.Now this was true for her growing up,but as a twentysomething,soon Emma would pick her famile when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own.I told Emma the time to start picking your family is now.Now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20,or even 25,and I agree with you.But grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with when everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle(婚姻的殿堂)is not progress(是行不通的).The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one,and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work.Picking your family is about consciously(理智地)choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.So what happened to Emma?Well.we went through that address book,and she found an old roommate's cousin who worked at an art museum in another state.That weak tie helped her get a job there.That job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend.Now,five years later,she's a special events planner for museums.She's married to a man she mindfully(謹(jǐn)慎地)chose.She loves her new career,she loves her new family,and she sent me a card that said,”Now the emergency contact blanks don't seem big enough."Now Emma's story made that sound easy,but that's what I love about working with twentysomethings.They are so easy to help.Twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX,bound for somewhere west.Right after takeoff,a slight change in course is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji.Likewise,at 21 or 25 or even 29,one good conversation,one good break,one good TED Talk,can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come.So here's an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know.It's as simple as what I learned to say to Alex.It's what I now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like Emma every single day:Thirty is not the new 20,so claim your adulthood,get some identity capital,use your weak ties，pick your family.(30歲不是一個(gè)新的20歲，所以認(rèn)清你的成年期，獲得一些身份資本，利用你的不那么直接的關(guān)系，選擇你的家人。)Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do.(不要被你不知道的或是沒(méi)有做過(guò)的事所限制)You're deciding your life right now.

第二篇：20歲光陰不再來(lái)(英)

When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client.I was a Ph.D.student in clinical psychology at Berkeley.She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.Now Alex walked into her first session, wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.Now when I heard this, I was so relieved.My classmate got an arsonist for her first client.And I got a twenty-something who wanted to talk about boys.This I thought I could handle.But I didn't handle it.With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.“Thirty's the new 20,” Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right.Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later.Twenty-something like Alex and I had nothing but time.But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life.I pushed back.I said, “Sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a knucklehead, but it's not like she's going to marry the guy.”And then my supervisor said,“ Not yet, but she might marry the next one.Besides, the best time to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one.”That's what psychologists call an “Aha!” moment.That was a moment I realized,30 is not the new 20.Yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn’t make Alex’s 20s a developmental downtime.That made Alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it.That was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twenty-somethings everywhere.There are 50 million twenty-somethings in the United States right now.We're talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.I specialize in twenty-somethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million twenty-somethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists already know that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.This is not my opinion.These are the facts.We know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments take place by age 35.That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and “Aha!” moments that

make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s.People who are over 40, don't panic.This crowd is going to be fine, I think we know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn.We know that more than half of Americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30.We know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it.We know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28,and things get tricky after age 35.So your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.So when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain.It's a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become.But what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development.But this isn't what twenty-somethings are hearing.Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood.Researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence.Journalists coin silly nicknames for twenty-somethings like “twixters” and “kidults.” It's true.As a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood.Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time.Isn't that true? So what do you think happens when you pat a twenty-something on the head and you say, “You have 10 extra years to start your life”? Nothing happens.You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.And then every day, smart, interesting twenty-somethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this:“I know my boyfriend's no good for me, but this relationship doesn't count.I'm just killing time.”O(jiān)r they say, “Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I'm 30, I'll be fine.”But then it starts to sound like this:“My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself.I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college.” And then it starts to sound like this:“Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs.Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was

like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down.I didn't want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30.” Do not do that.Okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high.When a lot has been pushed to your 30s,there is enormous thirty-something pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time.Many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.The post-millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car.It's realizing you can't have that career you now want.It's realizing you can't have that child you now want, or you can't give your child a sibling.Too many thirty-somethings and forty-somethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s,“What was I doing? What was I thinking?” I want to change what twenty-somethings are doing and thinking.Here's a story about how that can go.It's a story about a woman named Emma.At 25, Emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis.She said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment, but she hadn't decided yet, so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables instead.Because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition.And as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder.She often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, “You can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends.”Well one day, Emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour.She'd just bought a new address book, and she'd spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then she'd been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words “In case of emergency, please call …”She was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, “Who's going to be there for me if I get in a car wreck? Who's going to take care of me if I have cancer?” Now in that moment, it took everything I had not to say, “I will.”But what Emma needed wasn't some therapist who really, really cared.Emma needed a better life, and I knew this was her chance.I had learned too much since I first worked with Alex to just sit there while Emma's defining decade went parading by.So over the next weeks and months, I told Emma three things that every twenty-something, male or female, deserves to hear.First, I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital.By getting identity capital, I mean do something that adds value to who you are.Do something that's an investment in who you might want to be next.I didn't know the future of Emma's career, and no one knows the future of work, but I do know this: Identity capital begets identity capital.So now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try.I'm not discounting twenty-something exploration here, but I am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count, which, by the way, is not exploration.That's procrastination(拖延).I told Emma to explore work and make it count.Second, I told Emma that the urban tribe is overrated.Best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twenty-somethings who huddle together with like-minded peers’ limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work.That new piece of capital, that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle.New things come from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends.So yes, half of twenty-somethings are un-or under-employed.But half aren't, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group.Half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor's boss is how you get that un-posted job.It's not cheating.It's the science of how information spreads.Last but not least, Emma believed that you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends.Now this was true for her growing up, but as a twenty-something, soon Emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own.I told Emma the time to start picking your family is now.Now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20, or even 25, and I agree with you.But grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with when everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress.The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work.Picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.So what happened to Emma? Well, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommate's cousin who worked at an art museum in another state.That weak tie helped her get a job there.That job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend.Now, five years later, she's a special events planner for museums.She's married to a man she mindfully chose.She loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, “Now the emergency contact blanks don't seem big enough.”Now Emma's story made that sound easy, but that's what I love about working with twenty-somethings.They are so easy to help.Twenty-somethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX, bound for somewhere west.Right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji.Likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29,one good conversation, one good break, one good TED Talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come.So here's an idea worth spreading to every twenty-something you know.It's as simple as what I learned to say to Alex.It's what I now have the privilege of saying to twenty-somethings like Emma every single day: Thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family.Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do.You're deciding your life right now.

第三篇：20歲光陰不再來(lái)演講稿

20歲光陰不再來(lái)演講稿

光陰似箭，日月如梭。二十年或許是彈指一揮間，也是人生中最重要的組成部分。以下是小編收集的20歲光陰不再來(lái)演講稿，僅供大家閱讀參考!

20歲光陰不再來(lái)演講稿_ 20歲光陰不再來(lái)ted英文演講稿

When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client.I was a student in clinical psychology at Berkeley.She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top(寬松的上衣), and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats(平底鞋)and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.Now when I heard this, I was so relieved.My classmate got an arsonist(縱火犯)for her first client.(Laughter)And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys.This I thought I could handle.But I didn't handle it.With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.“Thirty's the new 20,” Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right.Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later.Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time.But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life.I pushed back.20歲光陰不再來(lái)演講稿_ 20歲光陰不再來(lái)ted英文演講稿

There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now.We're talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.Raise your hand if you're in your 20s.I really want to see some twentysomethings here.Oh, yay!Y'all's awesome.If you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you're losing sleep over twentysomethings, I want to see — Okay.Awesome, twentysomethings really matter.So I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists，neurologists

and

fertility specialists(生育專(zhuān)家)already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.20歲光陰不再來(lái)演講稿_ 20歲光陰不再來(lái)ted英文演講稿

Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time.Isn't that true? So what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, “You have 10 extra years to start your life”? Nothing happens.You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens.And then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: “I know my boyfriend's no good for me, but this relationship doesn't count.I'm just killing time.” Or they say, “Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I'm 30, I'll be fine.”

But then it starts to sound like this: “My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself.I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college.”

And then it starts to sound like this: “Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs.Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down.I didn't want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30.”

Where are the twentysomethings here? Do not do that.

第四篇：20歲光陰不再來(lái)

20歲光陰不再來(lái) MegJay 當(dāng)我20歲的時(shí)候見(jiàn)了我第一位心理診療的客戶(hù)，那時(shí)我是伯克利大學(xué)臨床心理學(xué)的博士生。一名26歲的女士，名叫亞力克斯。第一次診療時(shí)，亞力克斯穿著牛仔褲和寬大松垮的上衣走進(jìn)我的辦公室，一屁股坐在沙發(fā)上，踢掉她的平底鞋，然后告訴我她要談?wù)勀腥说膯?wèn)題。聽(tīng)到這，我大松一口氣。我同學(xué)的第一個(gè)客戶(hù)是個(gè)縱火犯。而我的是個(gè)20多歲的姑娘要聊男人問(wèn)題。我想這我肯定應(yīng)付得了。但是我沒(méi)有。

對(duì)于亞力克斯帶來(lái)的有趣的故事，我所用的緩兵之計(jì)，很簡(jiǎn)單，便是點(diǎn)頭應(yīng)和。亞力克斯說(shuō)：“30歲是一個(gè)新的20歲?！本湍菚r(shí)我所認(rèn)為的，她是對(duì)的。之后會(huì)有工作，會(huì)有婚姻。再有了兒女，最后是死亡。像我和亞力克斯這樣的20多歲的人，有的是時(shí)間。但沒(méi)過(guò)多久，我的導(dǎo)師催促我讓她認(rèn)真考慮她的感情生活。我拒絕了。

我說(shuō)：“沒(méi)錯(cuò)，她的對(duì)象很差勁，她在和一個(gè)傻瓜交往，可是沒(méi)有跡象她要嫁給他。” 然后我導(dǎo)師說(shuō)：“她不嫁給這個(gè)但可能嫁給下個(gè)（傻瓜）。再說(shuō)，給亞力克斯有幫助的建議的最好的時(shí)機(jī)是在她結(jié)婚之前?！?/p>

那就是心理學(xué)家所謂“頓悟”時(shí)刻。那一刻我意識(shí)到，30歲不是一個(gè)新的20歲。沒(méi)錯(cuò)，現(xiàn)在人們結(jié)婚的年齡比以前大一些，但這并沒(méi)有使亞力克斯的20歲成為發(fā)展的擱淺期。這使亞力克斯的20歲成為發(fā)展的關(guān)鍵時(shí)期，而我們卻在揮霍它。那一刻我意識(shí)到這種善意的忽視是個(gè)嚴(yán)重的問(wèn)題，而且是有后果，不僅對(duì)亞力克斯和她的感情生活，而是對(duì)所有處在20多歲年齡的人的事業(yè)及家庭及未來(lái)。所有的人都要先經(jīng)歷他們的20歲才能進(jìn)入成年。

20多歲的這段時(shí)間真的很重要。我專(zhuān)長(zhǎng)于20多歲的青年是因?yàn)槲蚁嘈胚@些20多歲的人都應(yīng)該知道心理學(xué)家、社會(huì)學(xué)家、神經(jīng)學(xué)家和生育學(xué)家，所有的事都已經(jīng)知道了。20歲對(duì)于你來(lái)說(shuō)是你能對(duì)你的感情、幸福甚至這個(gè)世界能做的最簡(jiǎn)單但是最有影響力的事之一。這不是我的觀(guān)點(diǎn)，這是事實(shí)。

我們知道，一半以上的美國(guó)人在30歲的時(shí)候結(jié)婚或是在和他們今后的伴侶同居或交往。我們知道大腦在你20多歲時(shí)結(jié)束第二次也是最后一次發(fā)育高峰然后它開(kāi)啟成年人的模式，這意味著，不管你想改變自己的什么，現(xiàn)在就是時(shí)候。

我們知道20多歲時(shí)性格的改變要遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)多于別的時(shí)期。20多歲就是培養(yǎng)自己的時(shí)候，對(duì)于自己的健康和今后的選擇。倫納德·伯恩斯坦說(shuō)“想要有大成就，你需要一個(gè)計(jì)劃和很少的時(shí)間。如果你拍著一個(gè)20歲的年輕人的腦袋說(shuō)：“你還有十年的時(shí)間開(kāi)始你的生活?！睍?huì)發(fā)生什么？什么也不會(huì)發(fā)生。你已經(jīng)偷走了他的 緊迫感和雄心，所以當(dāng)然什么也不會(huì)發(fā)生了。

日復(fù)一日，像你或者你們的兒子和女兒一樣聰明、有趣的20多歲的人來(lái)我的辦公室，說(shuō)這些話(huà)：“我知道我男朋友不適合我，但是這段感情不作數(shù)，我只是在消磨時(shí)間?！被蛘哒f(shuō)，“每個(gè)人都說(shuō)只要我能在三十歲的時(shí)候開(kāi)始我的事業(yè)，就沒(méi)有問(wèn)題。”漸漸地，開(kāi)始變成這樣：“我都快30歲了，我沒(méi)有什么拿得出手的。我大學(xué)畢業(yè)時(shí)候的簡(jiǎn)歷都比現(xiàn)在好。”再后來(lái)就變成這樣：“20歲的時(shí)候談戀愛(ài)就像玩搶椅子。每個(gè)人都東奔西跑的玩樂(lè)，但是在30歲左右時(shí)音樂(lè)停止了，每個(gè)人都開(kāi)始坐下。我不想只有我站著，所以有時(shí)候我想嫁給我丈夫是因?yàn)樗俏?0歲時(shí)離我最近的椅子?！鼻f(wàn)不要這樣做。很多人在不得不面臨他們的三十歲時(shí)會(huì)有巨大的壓力，從而迅速開(kāi)始一個(gè)事業(yè)，選一個(gè)城市，結(jié)婚，然后在很短的時(shí)間內(nèi)有兩個(gè)或三個(gè)孩子。這些事很多是互不相容的。千禧年之后的中年危機(jī)不是買(mǎi)一臺(tái)紅色跑車(chē)，是意識(shí)到你不能擁有你現(xiàn)在想要的事業(yè)，是意識(shí)到你不能擁有你現(xiàn)在想要的孩子，或者不能給你的孩子一個(gè)姊妹。

關(guān)于一個(gè)名叫艾瑪?shù)呐说墓适隆０斣谒?5歲時(shí)來(lái)到我的診室，因?yàn)樗校盟脑?huà)講，身份認(rèn)同危機(jī)。她說(shuō)她以為她會(huì)在藝術(shù)界或娛樂(lè)界工作，但是她還沒(méi)想好，所以她做了幾年服務(wù)生。為了省錢(qián)，她和她的脾氣比志向大的男朋友住在一起。即使她20多歲的時(shí)候那么辛苦，但是她小時(shí)候的生活更艱辛，在診聊過(guò)程中她常常哭，但最后會(huì)安慰自己說(shuō):“你不能選擇你的家人，但你能選擇你的朋友?！庇幸惶?，艾瑪來(lái)到我的診聊室，把頭埋在膝蓋里哭了將近一個(gè)多小時(shí)。她剛買(mǎi)了一本新的通訊簿，早上的時(shí)候她在填寫(xiě)通訊信息，但是她盯著那片空白，上面寫(xiě)著：“如果遇到緊急情況，請(qǐng)聯(lián)系?”愣住了。她看著我，幾乎歇斯底里說(shuō)：“如果我發(fā)生了交通意外，會(huì)有誰(shuí)來(lái)幫我？如果我得了癌癥會(huì)有誰(shuí)來(lái)照顧我？”那一刻我努力地忍住沒(méi)有說(shuō)：“我會(huì)?！卑斝枰牟皇且粋€(gè)非常非常關(guān)心她的心理醫(yī)師，艾瑪需要一個(gè)更好的生活，而我知道她的時(shí)機(jī)到了。

從亞力克斯起，只是坐著聽(tīng)艾瑪定義她的十年時(shí)光流逝，我已經(jīng)聽(tīng)的太多了。所以在接下來(lái)的幾周和幾月里，我告訴艾瑪三件事，這三件事是所有的20多歲的人，男人或是女人都應(yīng)該知道的。首先，我告訴艾瑪忘掉身份認(rèn)同危機(jī)，獲得一些身份資本。獲得身份資本，我指的是去做一些可以增加你自身價(jià)值的事。對(duì)你以后想要成為什么樣的人的投資。我并不知道艾瑪未來(lái)的事業(yè)，沒(méi)人知道以后的工作，但是我知道：身份資本會(huì)成為身份的資本，因此，現(xiàn)在正是那個(gè)橫跨全國(guó)的工作的時(shí)候，正是時(shí)候開(kāi)始實(shí)習(xí)，開(kāi)始做你想做的事。我不是在說(shuō)20歲的探索冒險(xiǎn)，我是在勸誡你們不要做無(wú)謂的探索，那不是探索，那是拖延。我告訴艾瑪開(kāi)始工作，并使它有意義。

第二，我告訴艾瑪不要坐井觀(guān)天。好朋友是可以載你一程去機(jī)場(chǎng)，但是20多歲的人如果只是和想法相同的同齡的人，限制了他們的交際圈，他們所知、所想、所講和他們的工作的地點(diǎn)，新的資本，新的戀愛(ài)對(duì)象幾乎都是來(lái)自圈子外的。新事物來(lái)自我們所謂的弱關(guān)系，我們朋友的朋友的朋友。所以的確，20多歲的人一半沒(méi)有工作或是面臨失業(yè)。但另外一半有工作，而通過(guò)那些不那么直接的關(guān)系，就是你進(jìn)入那個(gè)群體的途徑。有一半的新工作是沒(méi)有招聘信息的，所以去問(wèn)你鄰居的老板，是你得到那個(gè)沒(méi)有招聘信息的工作的方法。這不是走后門(mén)，信息就是這樣傳播的。

最后，艾瑪認(rèn)為你不能選擇你的家人，但你可以選擇你的朋友。在她小時(shí)候是這樣的，但是作為一個(gè)20多歲的人，很快地需要在創(chuàng)建自己的家庭時(shí)，選擇她的家人。我告訴艾瑪現(xiàn)在就是選擇你家人的時(shí)候。現(xiàn)在你可能認(rèn)為在30歲時(shí)安定下來(lái)要比在20歲甚至25歲更可靠，我同意。但是隨便抓一個(gè)你正在交往或是同居或是社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)上的人走進(jìn)婚姻的殿堂是行不通的。經(jīng)營(yíng)婚姻的最好時(shí)期是在你結(jié)婚之前，這就意味著選擇愛(ài)情要像選擇工作一樣積極。選擇你的家人就是要理智得選擇你想要和誰(shuí)過(guò)什么樣的生活，而不是為了應(yīng)付或是消磨時(shí)間才和一個(gè)正好選了你的人在一起。

艾瑪后來(lái)怎么樣了呢？我們查看了那本通訊簿，她找到了一個(gè)前室友的表親，這個(gè)人在另一個(gè)州的一家藝術(shù)博物館工作。她通過(guò)這個(gè)關(guān)系在那找到了一份工作。這份工作給了她一個(gè)離開(kāi)那時(shí)男友的理由。五年過(guò)去了，她現(xiàn)在是博物館特殊活動(dòng)的策劃者。她謹(jǐn)慎地選擇了她的丈夫，她熱愛(ài)她的新事業(yè)，愛(ài)她的新家庭，在她寄給我的卡片上，她說(shuō)：“現(xiàn)在那個(gè)空白的緊急情況聯(lián)系欄沒(méi)那么可怕了。”

艾瑪?shù)墓适侣?tīng)起來(lái)簡(jiǎn)單，但這是我喜歡和20多歲的人一起工作的原因。幫助他們很容易。20歲的人們就像是一架剛從洛杉磯國(guó)際機(jī)場(chǎng)起航的飛機(jī)，向西飛去。剛起飛時(shí)，航道上一個(gè)小小的改變導(dǎo)致目的地的不同，猶如阿拉斯加和斐濟(jì)之間的差別。同樣，在21歲或25歲甚至是29歲時(shí)，一次好的談話(huà)，一個(gè)好的假期，會(huì)在今后的歲月甚至對(duì)以后的幾代人中產(chǎn)生不可估量的作用。這是值得告訴每一個(gè)你所認(rèn)識(shí)的20多歲的人的事。

30歲不是一個(gè)新的20歲，所以認(rèn)清你的成年期，獲得一些身份資本，利用你的不那么直接的關(guān)系，選擇你的家人。不要被你不知道的或是沒(méi)有做過(guò)的事所限制。生活的決定權(quán)在你。

第五篇：ted演講二十歲光陰不再來(lái)筆記

TED演講

30s is not new 20s 二十歲光陰不再來(lái)

二十歲是人一生中非常重要的時(shí)刻。

事業(yè)發(fā)展的前十年對(duì)事業(yè)影響最大，而百分之八十能決定一個(gè)人一生的決定都是在30歲中旬做出的。二十歲是大腦發(fā)育的最后時(shí)刻，也是塑造性格的最好時(shí)期。在此期間打下的基礎(chǔ)，將決定你的事業(yè)、家庭與未來(lái)。

開(kāi)始做那些你想做的事情，做一些增加你個(gè)人價(jià)值的事情，投資這些身份（who you might want to be: who you are, what your job is）資本使得其最終能成為你身份的資本，成為能寫(xiě)進(jìn)你簡(jiǎn)歷的東西。可以說(shuō)，這是回報(bào)率最高，對(duì)你影響最大的投資。

年輕人應(yīng)該探索，但不代表應(yīng)該做無(wú)謂的探索。那不叫探索，只能叫拖延。做事情時(shí)要有主次觀(guān)念，就算空暇時(shí)也別浪費(fèi)時(shí)間干沒(méi)意義的事。與其拿手機(jī)刷微博，不如背幾個(gè)單詞。認(rèn)清你的成年期，你已經(jīng)是個(gè)成年人了，就該以成年人的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來(lái)要求自己，而不是還當(dāng)自己是一個(gè)小孩。機(jī)會(huì)成本會(huì)隨著年齡的增長(zhǎng)而加大，趁年輕干自己真正想干的事情，失敗的成本低，收獲的回報(bào)大。利用好弱關(guān)系，認(rèn)真對(duì)待周?chē)鸁o(wú)論親疏與否的每一個(gè)人，他們都可能會(huì)給你提供機(jī)會(huì)和幫助。不要害怕求助，人與人之間就是該互助的。慎重選擇你的家人，不要抱著打發(fā)時(shí)間的態(tài)度去跟隨便一個(gè)人談戀愛(ài)，認(rèn)真對(duì)待你的對(duì)象。

多與不同年齡段的人交往，不要將自己的交際局限于一個(gè)小小的圈子之內(nèi)，切忌坐井觀(guān)天。不要被你不知道或沒(méi)做過(guò)的事所限制。你的一生由你決定。