第一篇：英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇兩個(gè)女人的戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)

A War between Two Women兩個(gè)女人之間的戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)

很好的6人英語(yǔ)短劇劇本。兩個(gè)女孩同時(shí)看上了一個(gè)男孩，女人之間的戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)，有意思。==-00 Cast： Angela Ivy Peggy Lucy

Yu-ting

Ithca Scoundrel------------------Scene I 購(gòu)物場(chǎng)景

(Peggy and Lucy are shopping.They buy a lot of stuff.Suddenly, they see a handsome man.)Lucy: Oh my god!What a treasure.Peggy: He is so handsome, just like my charming prince in dreams.Lucy: Look!He has beautiful eyes and he looks so gentle and charming.Peggy: He’s a present that God gave me.Peggy& Lucy: I love him so much;I want to be his girlfriend!Peggy: Hay!(Looks angry).Lucy, he belongs to me, OK? Lucy: Stupid woman!I saw him first.He’s mine.Peggy: No, no, no, ugly woman.I saw him much earlier than you.Lucy: What? I’m more beautiful than you.Peggy: But I’m taller.Look at you, little short hobbit.Lucy: What? Little short hobbit? You are a small-eyed girl.Peggy: You’re so mean.Lucy: You too.(Peggy and Lucy get angry)Peggy: Hmm!I hate you.Lucy: Me too!

(Now the war of these two women begins)

Scene II 兩個(gè)女人在男人周圍

(Peggy and Lucy surround the man, and they are pulling and dragging the man.)Peggy: Please be my boyfriend, I’m more beautiful than Lucy.I’ll be a good girlfriend.Andy: Sure.You’re very beautiful.You’re like a super model.To be your boyfriend

is my honor.(Lucy drags the man to her side.)Lucy: I really love you very much.I can give you a happy life.Andy: You’re very beautiful, too!Especially your big eyes!They’re very charming!Andy: What should I do? I want to choose Peggy, but I also want to choose Lucy.Peggy: Let’s go to the movies on Sunday.Andy: Ok!Lucy: Let’s go to the movies tomorrow, OK? Andy: Sure!Andy: Oh~ I’m so happy!There’re two beautiful girls are quarreling over me.Look

at them;they have long legs, big chest and charming eyes.I’m so lucky!

Scene III 偶遇

(Lucy, Peggy, and Bonnie meet unexpectedly.Lucy and Peggy stare at each other.)Lucy: Bonnie, listen to me.Peggy: No!

Don’t listen to her.Listen to me.Lucy: Get away.Bonnie is my good friend!Peggy: You liar.She’s my good friend!Bonnie: Stop quarreling!Who can tell me what happened? Both of you are good friends, aren’t you? Peggy& Lucy: No!Bonnie: What happened between you? Peggy: Bonnie, I hate Lucy.She stole my boyfriend.Lucy: Nonsense.He’s my lover.Bonnie: Stop it!It’s no use quarreling about it.You should have a talk.Don’t hurt your friendship over a guy.Friendship is precious.(Peggy & Lucy leave)

Scene IV 電影院奇遇

(In front of the movie theater.Peggy is waiting for Andy.Lucy is also waiting for

Andy.They see each other.)Peggy& Lucy: You…….Lucy: Why are you here? Peggy: I want to ask you the same question.(At this time, Andy arrives;both Lucy and Peggy look at each other in confusion)Andy: Good afternoon, ladies!Peggy& Lucy: She…., you……

Andy: Any questions? It’s more fun that we can all go to the movies together.(Andy looks at the watch).The movie will start soon.Let’s go!Scoundrel: Don’t move!Give me your money.Peggy& Lucy: Help, help!Scoundrel: Be quiet!I won’t kill you if you give me your money.Hurry!Andy: Calm down, sir.I’ll give you all the money I have.Don’t kill me.If you want to kill somebody, please kill them.Lucy: Us? Are you crazy? Peggy: We’re just girls!Lucy: I can’t believe you are such a coward!How can you do this? Peggy: You make me sad.Lucy, let’s go!(They leave angry.)Scoundrel: What a coward you are!Killing you is waste of my strength.Chicken!(Scoundrel left but soon he come back)Scoundrel: Wait!Andy: Why did you turn back? Scoundrel: I forgot to take my money.(Takes Andy’s money)

Scene V

Peggy: I’m so sorry.Lucy, can you forgive me? Please….Lucy: Oh~ my dear friend!I’m feeling so sorry, too.Peggy: So….we’re still good friends, right? Lucy: Right!Then, let’s go eat.It’s my treat!Peggy: Wow~ it’s a good idea!Let’s go.(Allen shows up.)Allen: Hi, baby!

(Peggy& Lucy see Allen at the same time, they got excited and run to Allen.)Peggy& Lucy: Please be my boyfriend.(Peggy& Lucy stare at each other.)Lucy: Let go of your hands.Peggy: He is mine!Lucy: You already have a boyfriend, so he’s mine.Peggy: Why do you always like to steal my boyfriend? Lucy: You do, too.Peggy: He’s mine!Lucy: He’s mine!Peggy: He’s mine!Lucy: He’s mine!Allen: Shut up!I don’t like girls!Lucy: What? Peggy: You’re lying.I can’t believe it.Allen: Actually…….(Andy appears.)Allen: Oh, honey!Andy: Oh, baby!I’m sorry that I’m late!Allen: Little bad fellow.Don’t be late next time.Lucy: Andy? Andy: Lucy, Peggy, Why are you here? Peggy: I……(Looks at Allen and Lucy.)Allen: Honey, they’re so weird.Don’t pay attention to them.Let’s go.Andy: Sorry, I got to go.See you next time.Bye.(They leave)Peggy: We’re girls, they’re boys, right? Lucy: Sure.But, they….what happened? Peggy: Maybe they are…..Peggy& Lucy: Gay!

第二篇：英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇劇本

二人用版本

Scene1（At Salesman’s home）

N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman.He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students.He has a lot of money now.But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you.I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate.My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why.The foolish students always come here.I’ll be a boss soon!Candy, money, candy, money……

Oops!It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(邊說(shuō)邊做)Now press, press……

Oh, my dirty hands!Never mind!Just do it!(滿不在意的神情)Press, press……

Oh, my god!Never mind!Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces

加旁白1人屬于4人用）

白雪公主與七個(gè)小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短劇本 旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen.She had a pretty daughter named Snow White.Soon after the child was born, the queen died.The queen married another queen.The stepmother was very jealous.She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.白雪：(Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.)皇后：I’m the new queen.I’m very beautiful.you see.If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her.I have a magic mirror.If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here!魔鏡：Yes, I’m coming.Your Majesty!What do you want to know? 皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all? 魔鏡：Yes.Your Majesty!You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady.She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you.皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.四人用版本

Global warming

A． Class begins, good afternoon everyone.B． C.D ：Good afternoon, teacher.A.First, I will ask you a question: What is the serious problem nowadays ? B.I think it’s the problem of environment pollution.A.It’s related to our correct answer.But it isn’t correct one.B.Is it the problem of population increasing? A.No.C.Oh.I got it.It’s global warming.A.Right!Global warming is one of the serious problems nowadays.Because……

B.Teacher.I have a question.It was very cold indeed this winter.I think it’s global cooling!

A.You got the wrong concept.Global warming doesn’t only mean that the weather is getting hot, but also mean that the weather is out of control.So it will be sometimes very cold.B.Teacher.What causes “ global warming”?

C.I know.Now people drive too many cars and the exhaust gases discharged by the cars and lorries pollute the air and also destroy the nature.It causes global warming.A.You are right.Do you know what will happen with the global warming?

B.Yes.The ices in South Pole are going to be melted and at the time, many islands will be gradually flooded with water.Human will have no places to live.C.Surely, we don’t want that will happen.A.What sould we do to stop “Global warming”?

B.I think we can protect the environment from ourselves.We can plant trees C.When we are protecting the environment, we are saving ourselves.A.Ok.Students, we can’t only speak but not do later.Let us go planting trees.D.Oh, teacher!Tomorrow is March the twelfth, it’s tree-planting day!

A.Yes!Now all of you know the importance of protecting the environment.B．C．D．Let us do our best to stop “Global warming” and make our earth a lovely homeland!

A.That is good.I hope you all will be succeeded in protecting the environment.Now the class is over bye-bye students!B.C.D.good bye.Teacher.（4人版本）

Narration: Carrie, Cici and Wing are co-worker of a company.This day they are talking in the office.Ca: Bingo!I finally finish this case.It is really tough!I have not slept well for almost a week.Wing: Me too.I always get so busy in this season.I have drunk three cups of coffee in order to keep awake.Ci: Our boss must be enjoying his holiday in Fiji very much.What do you think he will feel when he comes back to see our case? Ca:Of course he will feel surprised and give each of us a promotion.Wing: Come on, he is a devil, how could he do this to us? Anyway, we should award ourselves for these days hard work!Ca: You are right.Let’s pig out on junk food!

Wing: I have stayed in China for a whole year and I miss my hometown.I miss German food!Ca: so do I.how much I love French food!Ci: I have not eaten German or French food before.Do you have any recommendation? Ca: If you visit France or go to a French restaurant, snails, cheese, and goose liver and red wine are the best choices.Wing: You also can’t miss the famous German sausage, ham and blue checse Ci: They all sound yummy.But do you know what Chinese eat when they miss their families? Wing&Ca: No Ci: The answer is dumplings!Ca:Well ,I heard that before though I haven’t tasted.Wing: Can you make dumplings, CiCi? Would you make some for us? I have been longing for dumplings for a long time.Ci: Aha, it is as easy as a pie for me.what about coming to my house tonight? We can make dumplings together.I will teach you how to cook it.Ca: Great!That is fantastic.Then it will be the first time to make and eat dumplings Wing: Very good idea!We could busy some basic ingredient at the supper market after work.Ci: Sure.We need flour, yeast, pork, cabbages, vinegar, sauce and ginger.(The three colleagues had their shopping and now they are in CiCi’s house)CiCiours some pour on the table and said:”Carrie, can you fetch some water here?”

Ca: sure, here you are.what s next? Ci:Ci:we have to mix the flour yeast and water together.be careful ,don’t add too much water.Ca: Okay, I’m kneeing the dough repentedly.it is becoming and softer Wing: Yeah, I am cutting the pork into many small pieces, and then I will add several spoons of oil in it.shall I blend them? CiCi: Yes, make sure they blend well.A bit salt and a spoon of vinegar are needed, too.(an hour later)Ca: Yes, the dumplings are prepared.lets start!CiCi: Wait!I remember well that you all miss the food from your hometown.Look, what are these? Ca: Wow!Cheese!Where did you get it? And my favorite red wine.Wing: God.Those are sausage and ham, I can’t believe it!

CiCi: Haha, it is a big surprise, isn’t it? Now ,we are got all three countries’ food ready.Ca: So it is a complete big meal.Wing: An unforgettable banquet in my life.Let’s cheers!Ca, Ci, Wing: Cheers!

第三篇：英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇——三顧茅廬

Three visits to the cottage 主要人物：諸葛亮、諸葛家仆人（朱不亮）、劉備、關(guān)羽、張飛、旁白（同時(shí)操作電腦）

旁白：

Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顧茅廬）is a story from one of the Four Great

classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms.ZhuGeliang is one of the main

characters in the original.Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the

symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history.Another main actors——Liubei, who

visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to

be his military adviser.Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped

the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom.Now，let’s go into the story.第一幕

屋子中，諸葛亮在屋里走著，諸葛亮：Buliang，this classroom is so dirty 三兄弟上場(chǎng)，關(guān)羽（戴著頭巾粘著紙條），劉備（戴著墨鏡），張飛（不停打嗝）

劉：飯后一支煙，賽過活神仙

A cigerate after dinner plays an important role in my life.（伸手，張飛點(diǎn)煙，劉深吸一口，長(zhǎng)舒一口氣）劉：嗯？沒點(diǎn)著，你個(gè)廢物（伸手打張飛）。En? It dosen’t burn on.you are the follish 張飛：湊合著吧，老師不讓抽煙

Sorry，we can only has this.We can’t smoke in the classroom!關(guān)羽：此番前來(lái)，定要邀請(qǐng)的臥龍先生 We must invite Mr.Zhu Geliang!張飛：必須的，老曹太欺負(fù)人了 Certainly,Mr.Cao bully us too much.三人來(lái)到門前，石頭剪子布 劉備：According to our custom？ 關(guān)羽：OK.張飛：No problem.劉備三人進(jìn)行石頭剪子布，劉備輸了，其余兩人把劉備推到前面。

劉備作出一幅英勇就義的姿態(tài)，（上海灘響起）

劉備作按門鈴狀，（門鈴聲響起）。

諸葛亮：Bu liang（不亮）, go to open the door.仆人(本幕諸葛亮飾)：Heng!(哼)仆人板著個(gè)臉到了門口，做了一個(gè)甩頭的動(dòng)作，并呼啦呼啦頭發(fā)，然后深呼吸，放平穩(wěn)，保持微笑。然后打開門，舉了個(gè)躬。仆人：?????(發(fā)音a ni ha sai yao~~~，中文意思：你好)劉備：Can you speak English? 關(guān)羽：（緊接著劉備）Can you speak Chinese? 張飛：（緊接著）Can you speak Japanese?

劉備：（緊接著）Spanish? 關(guān)羽：（緊接著）Congolese? 張飛：（緊接著）Egyptian? 仆人：（緊接著）Shut up!Who are you people? 劉備：(擺個(gè)pose)I’m Liubei.關(guān)羽：(也擺個(gè)pose)I’m Guanyu.張飛：(同樣擺個(gè)pose，把仆人碰倒了)I’m Sorry.劉備三人趕緊把仆人扶起來(lái)。仆人：你們?cè)趺磥?lái)的啊

What do you three take to come here? 張飛：騎馬來(lái)的啊，做騎馬狀 Riding a horse ,of course.仆人：那你們?cè)趺打T馬來(lái)的??？ So,How do you riding a horse? 三人面面相覷，豬不亮關(guān)門 劉備突然明白了，“money！” 張飛關(guān)羽聳肩都沒帶錢，下臺(tái)

第二幕

三兄弟上臺(tái)，張飛關(guān)羽手提禮品

關(guān)羽猥瑣的說(shuō):這次應(yīng)該可以了吧，上次也怨我們 I think we’ll manage it this time.張飛：啥啊，如果你不是拉著我，老子一嗓子吼死他（做咆哮狀，老虎聲音）

What? If you don’t pull me,I will easily kill him with my strong throat!劉備：行了，行了，我們來(lái)干啥來(lái)了

稍息。。立正。。（張飛關(guān)羽照做）

Stop,stop,What are we doing here? At ease!—Attention!劉備：都給我機(jī)靈點(diǎn)（張飛關(guān)羽點(diǎn)頭答應(yīng)）You three!Be clever this time!屋子中??

（英文歌，諸葛亮和豬不亮正喝酒，豬不亮哼著英語(yǔ)歌，他兩個(gè)喝醉了）

諸葛亮：MY GOD！上天你為什么這么懲罰我 My God！Why do you punish me?!旁白：老大別難過，班長(zhǎng)不也沒過嗎

Don’t be sad,my boss.As I know,our monitor does’t pass the examination.諸葛亮：我的四級(jí)考試啊，開始哭．．．

What？our monitor does’t pass the examination？But，My English cet band 4 also losed···

（換背景音樂，豬不亮跟著哭，門鈴響，豬不亮醉醺醺的搖搖晃晃去開門）旁白：誰(shuí)啊

Who’s this? 張飛：收水費(fèi)的

I come here to charge the bill of electricity

（開門，三人一臉嬉笑）

劉備：我們又來(lái)了，麻煩小弟通報(bào)一下

We are here again,bother to notice your boss.（悲傷歌曲放起，屋子里傳來(lái)悲傷的氣息，張飛和關(guān)羽抹眼淚）張飛：怎么突然一陣感傷涌上心頭（自言自語(yǔ)）I just feel some feeling of sorrow in my heart..關(guān)羽：請(qǐng)問臥龍先生在家嗎，我們想見一下（SEE）

Is Mr Zhu Ge home? We want to have a talk with him ,please.劉：What?！

張飛：是不是家里死人了，下次再來(lái)吧

I’m afraid some-one important of him died here.Let’s go.Maybe we should come next time.關(guān)羽：希望死的不是諸葛亮

Oh, I wish Zhu Geliang does’t die?（關(guān)羽，劉備打張飛，下臺(tái)。）

第三幕

（諸葛亮和豬不亮玩三國(guó)殺，背景音樂）（諸葛亮又贏了）

旁白：老大你真NB You are the man!諸葛亮：那是，你不想想我是干什么的，我打算過了年就去找劉備，找份工作

Hum！That’s a piece of cake.And I think I should go to Liu Bei’s company to find a job after Spring Festival.旁白：你想去劉備那里？？

What? You said you want to go to Liu Bei’s company? 諸葛亮：嗯，那里用不著英語(yǔ)

En...That’s a good place in which I need not speak English.旁白：前幾天他來(lái)過了，讓我趕跑了

But...uh, I drove him away a few days ago.門鈴響。

（三兄弟，大跨步的走進(jìn)來(lái)，諸葛亮一見到很激動(dòng)）諸葛亮：大哥，想死我了（擁抱）你帶我走吧 Boss!I ached for you so much, please help me!劉備：鎮(zhèn)定鎮(zhèn)定，既然兄弟這么看得起我，那咱們就一起大干一場(chǎng)吧

Be calm.Since you trust me so much, let’s go and do it!（出發(fā)。）

諸葛亮：大哥等等，那。那，一月多少錢啊

Wait,wait...My boss, uh, how much will..I get..from you then.張飛：（恐嚇狀）兄弟之間不談錢，談錢多傷感情，（拎著諸葛亮就走）

It hurts feelings when it comes to money!閉幕。。

第四篇：英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇劇本

英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇劇本-A Story about Love and Stinky Feet

從前，一個(gè)巫婆有一雙臭腳，人們都很討厭。所以，她想找一個(gè)人換掉她的雙腳。

有一天她來(lái)到“香國(guó)”。她發(fā)現(xiàn)，人人都有雙香腳。一天王子午睡，巫婆用自己的臭腳換了王子的香腳。

有一位公主，她總是失眠。雖然國(guó)王和王后在嘗試了很多方法，她還不能睡覺。國(guó)王和王后陛下非常擔(dān)心自己的女兒。

最后，他們就發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個(gè)方法：每當(dāng)公主無(wú)法入睡，她只需要嗅覺王子的臭腳，然后她將睡得很好。

最后王子和公主很幸福的生活在一起。人物

Ada:

Little girl Candy:

Queen Evander:

King Evelyn Joel:

Prince Rita:

Singer /Woman Yilina:

Witch Summary Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.And one day she flied to “Fragrance Country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.At that time, the witch exchanged her own stinky feet with the prince’s fragrant feet.There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty Country”.Although the king and the queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.The king and the queen were very worried about their daughter.And then, they discovered a perfect method for the princess to fall asleep: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, she only had to smell the prince’s stinky feet, and then she would sleep very well.In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.SCENE I(One afternoon, a girl, Ada, is reading a book)Ada: Oh~ what an interesting story!Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They smelt worse than stinky tofu.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.Ada: And one day she flied to “Fragrance country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.Witch:（screaming and laughing and dancing）I’m the most perfect witch who has both beauty and intelligence.More and more people fall for my…my … feet!Oh no, my feet!I’m such a charming witch, but why do my feet stink so much? Everyone faints when they smell my feet.The smell of my feet can kill mice.Oh, I don’t want to live.I want to fly away!（Flying to the Fragrance country）

Witch:(Crying)I hate my feet!I hate my feet!(in a low voice)Ha-ha, what’s the smell? It smells so sweet.(Searching)Oh.What a handsome boy.(Come closer and take a deep breath)Oh, oh, oh, why do his feet have such a sweet smell? It’s just not fair!(Angrily)Not fair!Look, he’s sleeping and snoring.Let me exchange my feet with his!(Doing magic and laughing loudly)Oh, my feet.You smell so sweet!Now I’m really the most charming witch.(Fly away)

Prince:(Asleep and dreaming)Oh!What a beautiful girl you are!You are my only one – my dear princess.Prince:(Wake up!)Oh~ what’s wrong? What a bad smell！The room smells of stinky tofu.Is it my table? My hand? My chair? My head? Or my window? Oh no!It’s my feet.I have a pair of stinky feet.How did it happen?(Hold on to his head.)(Run away)I can’t believe it!

SCENE II(The prince is walking and sees some crows on the way.)Prince: Oh~ there are many crows.Crow A: Please go away…

Crow B: Quickly!It’s full of bad smell here.Crows: We are going to die, because your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Oh!I am so sorry…My feet cause you much trouble…Sorry~!(Prince continues to walk.He sees some flowers.)Prince: Hum~ I like the perfume of flowers.Flower A: Oh!I can’t live without fresh air.Flower B: Keep your feet far away from us, please.Flowers: Your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Why does everyone dislike me? I am so sad and I am sorry for making you feel bad.(Prince continues to walk.)Prince: What can I do? I want my sweet-smelling feet back.(Many strangers are buying from vendors on the road.)Stranger A: Did you step in something? Check your shoes.Stranger B: Oh!Don’t talk nonsense.Stranger C: I know where that bad smell comes from.It’s him.Strangers: Just get lost!Dirty man!Prince: Oh I’m sorry.I’m not a dirty man.My feet are really disgusting.(Prince continues to walk.)

SCENE III Ada: There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty country.” Although king and queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.Ada: The king and the queen are very worried about their daughter.Then, they finally found a perfect solution after several trials and failures…(In the palace.)Queen: I am the queen!King: Of course I am the king!Queen: You never care about your daughter！!King: So…what happened to our baby? Queen: My dear daughter can’t sleep!King: So…what can we do?

(Queen brings many kinds of pills to her daughter.)King: Oh~my dear, just take them all.Princess: Take them all? Are you sure? King: Yes!Princess:(Take medicine)I still can’t sleep me still can’t sleep!(Try another method.)King: Hey my dear!Dad teaches you a good way to fall sleep: Counting Sheep.Princess: 1 sheep 2 sheep 3 sheep …..(Try a third method.)Queen: I know a girl with a beautiful voice.Maybe she can make our daughter sleep.King: Yes yes!(Open the door)Is she the one?(See Ada)Queen: Oh~no!King: Is she the one? Queen: Of course!Please start singing!Rita: I am a magic singer.(Clean the throat.)Can I start to sing? Rita: Baby sleep.Baby sleep.Baby hurry to sleep.Everybody sing with me….Princess: Shut up!Get out of here！King: I think these methods are not good ideas.We’ll think of better ideas.Queen: Hum…I have an idea….maybe we can…..King: You can say that again.Queen: Let’s get ready.(King and queen are preparing …)

Princess: Daddy!Mommy!It’s time to sleep!Don’t forget to take medicine.(King and queen are disguised as ghosts in order to scare the princess to sleep.)King: Oh, no!It didn’t work.Maybe we should get help from people.Queen: OK!(Point to Ada)You just do it.Go out on the streets and find some help.SCENE IV(Prince walks in the Beauty Country and looks at a crowd of people.Some people try to make the princess sleep.)Prince:(To himself.)A woman among the crowd: I’ve tried several ways and still they didn’t work!I think I can make the princess sleep!Can I try? King & Queen: Yes!It’s our pleasure.Please try.Prince: Thank you!(Take his shoes off and put his feet in front of the princess’s face.)Sorry!My dear princess!Princess: Oh!Your feet smell so awful.I can’t breathe and I want to sleep.King & Queen: Oh no!My dear~ What happened to you? Don’t scare us!(King touches her nose to check if the princess breathes.)King: She’s still breathing.She just fell asleep.(Queen hugs the Princess.)Queen: Thank you!Oh, thank God!My dear baby finally fell asleep.King:(To the prince.)Oh!Thank you!We are very lucky to meet you.Prince: I can’t believe it!My disgusting feet have magic power！Queen: Oh!Don’t say that!They are not disgusting at all.Congratulations!You are going to marry my dear daughter.King: Yes!This is a happy ending.Ada: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, all she had to do was to smell the prince’s stinky feet.And then, she would sleep very well.In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.

第五篇：搞笑英語(yǔ)話劇劇本

搞笑英語(yǔ)話劇劇本《 荊珂刺秦王》 旁白(Aside)/介紹（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous sword 搞笑英語(yǔ)話劇劇本《 荊珂刺秦王》

旁白(Aside)/介紹（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman劍客 and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I

太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(畫外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!太子丹高興狀)Thank u mirror!（面對(duì)觀眾）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do?(向幕里大叫)Where is my minister? 阿三(畢恭畢敬): Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

阿三：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作殺狀）

太子：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世紀(jì)最需要的是什么，人才！然后拍阿三肩膀，做贊許狀）Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中劉德華&金成武決斗時(shí)的音樂）荊軻

Are you Li mochou? 李莫愁 Yes.荊軻

OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁

Are you challenging me? 荊軻

Off course!聳聳肩表示同意 莫愁 Come on!音樂起 兩人沖上前來(lái)

“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，兩刀砍死你啊。。” 李莫愁倒地 荊軻大笑

李莫愁痛苦狀：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?

荊軻: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we?（贏一個(gè)人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）

李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.軻再次大笑

太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you? 荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you? 太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荊柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you? 荊柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹暈倒

荊柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（畢恭畢敬）May I have your name card, please? 荊軻從兜里掏出一卷紙，上面寫著： To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三：Hero，we need your help.荊柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荊柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荊柯：I am very very busy now!阿三(手指上場(chǎng)的美女，激動(dòng)狀): Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.荊柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

荊柯;Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 觀眾甲：TCM-Traditional Chinese MM.太子丹：I must show you the trump card.Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea.It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荊柯（激動(dòng)）：Slimming減食療法 tea!I have dreamed of it for thousands of times.My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.阿三：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take it!Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？難道你真的想要嗎??

荊柯(誠(chéng)懇狀)Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹與阿三（撞胯，擊掌）Yeah!Action Ш（《大話西游》主題曲響起）荊珂挽著妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荊珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby.（太子丹，阿三下。停頓?！短┨鼓峥颂?hào)》主題曲起，荊軻與妻子做Jack和rose在船頭的經(jīng)典造型，忽然荊軻看到一個(gè)美女——此時(shí)一個(gè)中國(guó)古典美女經(jīng)過，向荊軻拋媚眼，并拋下定情手絹。荊軻高興的盯著美女看，妻子發(fā)覺不對(duì)，扭過頭來(lái)。）

荊珂（急忙收斂）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救贖》）

荊珂(流淚)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.(哪怕是世界末日我都會(huì)愛著你，選自《飄》)妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.荊珂（欲走還留，執(zhí)子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克號(hào)沉船時(shí)，Jack對(duì)Rose的傾訴）.妻子:“I promise.” 荊軻:“Never let go.“妻子:”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go."（荊軻的發(fā)音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克號(hào)》的臺(tái)詞。）妻子努力擠出幾滴眼淚，荊珂上船，漸漸遠(yuǎn)去

妻子：It’s a good day to die.Never come back.Never?? Never?? 妻子(掏出手機(jī)撥號(hào)，阿三接手機(jī))： Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.阿三：Okay okay!旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.