第一篇：風(fēng)趣幽默的小故事幫您背六級單詞

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讀故事記單詞（六級）

abbreviation

n.縮寫, 縮寫詞 abide

vt.容忍 abide by 遵守，履行 abnormal

a.反常的，異常的 abolish

vt.廢止, 廢除(法律、制度、習(xí)俗等)abortion n.流產(chǎn), 墮胎 abound

vi.1.大量存在

2.（in,with）充滿 ,富于 abreast

ad.并列，并排 keep abreast of

與??齊頭并進(jìn)，了解??的最新情況 abrupt

a.1.突然的,意外的

2.（舉止、言談等）唐突的，魯莽的 abstain vi.1.棄權(quán)

2.（from）戒除 absurd

a.荒謬的，荒唐的 abundance

n.大量，豐富，充足

in abundance 充足，豐富 accessory

n.1.附件，零件，配件

2.[常pl.]（婦女手提包之類的）裝飾品 3.同謀，幫兇，包庇犯 acclaim

vt.向??歡呼，為??喝彩 n.稱贊，歡迎 accommodate vt.1.容納

2.向??提供住處（或膳宿）3.使適應(yīng)，順應(yīng) accomplice n.共犯，從犯 accountable a.負(fù)有責(zé)任的 ace

n.1.（紙牌等中的）幺點(diǎn)，“A”牌 2.（網(wǎng)球等比賽中）發(fā)球得分 3.（在某方面的）佼佼者 a.第一流的，杰出的 acoustic

a.1.聽覺的，聲音的 2.（樂器）原聲的 acquaint

vt.（with）使認(rèn)識，使了解，使熟悉

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acquit

vt.1.宣判??無罪

2.（oneself）使（自己）作出某種表現(xiàn) activate vt.使活動(dòng)起來，使開始起作用

Accommodating a Pregnancy

Xiaomin never thought abortion was a big deal.As he became acquainted with American politics , however , he realized you have to work hard to keep abreast of changing values to truly understand how absurdly controversial this issue has become.He found out from his American friends that opinions are in abundance of how to teach people to be accountable for their actions, how to make people abide by Family Planning laws, and even how to teach people just to abstain from sex.The significance of this issue became abruptly clear when Xiaomin's best friend, Jeff, got his girlfriend pregnant.Jeff was an acclaimed graduate student who was living an abnormal life from other Americans just by attending a Chinese university to get his Ph.D.(Ph.D.is an abbreviation for Doctor of Philosophy, the highest degree available in a university).Jeff was also an ace soccer player and acoustic guitar player.There was also alway an abundance of women around him.This is how he met Sarah.When Sarah became pregnant with Jeff, his friends suddenly treated him as if he was an accessory to murder.Jeff also felt as if he needed to be acquitted of some crime.But he decided in the end that he and his accomplice, Sarah, would keep the baby.According to Jeff and Sarah, the life of their child was more important than their career.Xiaomin was amazed.Keeping the child would abolish any chance of a successful career for Jeff.And in Xiaomin's eyes, one could activate the process for an abortion with a simple visit to the doctor even though there might be lines, three people abreast.But Jeff and Sarah were firm in their decision and Xiaomin had to abide his friends' decision.Life abounded in surprises.Now Jeff and Sarah were leaving school and returning to the United States.They would do everying they could to accommodate themselves to their new situation.選擇生孩子

小民從來沒想過流產(chǎn)是個(gè)大事。但是，當(dāng)他了解美國政治之后，他認(rèn)識到得下很大的工夫才能一直了解不斷變化著的價(jià)值觀念，真正理解關(guān)于這個(gè)問題的爭議是多么的荒唐可笑。他從美國朋友身上發(fā)現(xiàn)人們對許多問題的看法是很豐富的，如怎樣教人們對自己的行為負(fù)責(zé)、如何使人們遵守計(jì)劃生育的法律規(guī)定、甚至如何教人們節(jié)制性生活。小民最要好的朋友杰夫使女朋友懷孕了，這件事情使上述問題的重要性突然變得清楚了。

杰夫是位頗受贊揚(yáng)的研究生，他的生活和其他美國人相比是有些反常，因?yàn)樗谝凰袊髮W(xué)里讀博士學(xué)位（Ph.D.是Doctor of Philosorhy的縮寫，是大學(xué)里能夠獲得的最高學(xué)位）。杰夫還是一名優(yōu)秀的足球運(yùn)動(dòng)員和原聲吉他手，他身邊總是有一大堆女人圍著他，他就是這樣和薩拉相識的。

杰夫使薩拉懷孕后，他的朋友突然把他當(dāng)作是謀殺同謀。杰夫也覺得好象有必要判他有罪，但最終決定他和他的共犯薩拉將生下這個(gè)孩子。杰夫和薩拉認(rèn)為，孩子的生命比他們的事業(yè)更重要。小民感到很吃驚，因?yàn)橐@個(gè)孩子將徹底毀杰夫在事業(yè)上取得成功的機(jī)會(huì)。在小民看來，你只要去一趟醫(yī)生那里，整個(gè)流產(chǎn)過程就會(huì)啟動(dòng)，盡管可能要排隊(duì)，三個(gè)人并列而行。

但是杰夫和薩拉的態(tài)度很堅(jiān)決，小民只好接受朋友們的決定。生活充滿了出人意料的事情?，F(xiàn)在杰夫和薩拉正打算退學(xué)回美國，他們會(huì)盡全力使自己適應(yīng)他們的新生活。WORD affluent

a.富裕的，富足的 aftermath n.后果，余波 aggravate vt.1.加重

2.激怒，使惱火 aggregate n.總數(shù)，合計(jì) a.總計(jì)的，合計(jì) vt.1.總計(jì)達(dá)，合計(jì) 2.使聚集，使積聚

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in the aggregate 總共，作為總體 agitate

vi.（for,against）煽動(dòng)，鼓動(dòng) vt.1.攪動(dòng)，搖動(dòng) 2.使焦慮不安 agony

n.（極度的）痛苦，創(chuàng)痛 agreeable

a.1.令人愉快的，愜意的 2.（欣然）同意的，樂意的 aide

n.助手，副官 ailment

n.小病，疾病

air-conditioning n.空調(diào)設(shè)備，空調(diào)系統(tǒng) aisle

n.過道，通道 album

n.粘貼簿，集郵簿，像冊 alcoholic

a.1.酒精的，含酒精的 2.由酒精引起的 n.酗酒者 alien

a.1.外國的，外國人的 2.陌生的

3.性質(zhì)不同的，不相容的 n.1.外國人，外僑 2.外星人 alienate

vt.1.使疏遠(yuǎn)，使不友好，離間 2.轉(zhuǎn)讓，讓渡（財(cái)產(chǎn)等）allege

vt.斷言，宣稱，硬說 alleviate

vt.減輕，緩解，緩和 alley

n.小巷，胡同 allot

vt.分配，撥出 alloy n.合金

vt.將??鑄成合金 allude

vi.（to）暗指，提及 A Hungry Alien

When an alcoholic man dressed in dirty clothes and stinking of beer first alleged that an alien had landed in an alley behind a restaurant frequented by the affluent, no one listened to him.Photos from the aftermath filled 10 photo albums.In the begining, as he rushed down the center aisle of the pleasantly air-conditioned room, the alcoholic wasn't able to successfully agitate anybody.It was as if they were only looking at his appearance and not listening to his words.When he did finally find someone agreeable to come outside and see what he said had happened, he was completely alienated to see that the creature was no longer there.Now that he had aggravated so many rich people, he was sure that he would leave the room in agony.His fears were alleviated, however, when the--------------------

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alien broke through a window into the restaurant, somehow knowingly coming to the aide of the alcoholic.When all the people realized that the alien that the alcoholic had alluded to was really there and composed of an aggregate of unknown alloy not affected by normal bullets, they screamed and ran around leaving no chance for anyone to allot a route of escape.They behaved, in the aggregate, as if no one in the world could relieve them of this alien ailment.And they were right.None of the outside help that came could stop the alien from eating everyone in the restaurant.饑餓的外星人

當(dāng)一個(gè)穿著臟衣服、滿口啤酒味的酗酒男人宣稱有外星人在一家富人經(jīng)常光顧的酒店后面的一個(gè)胡同里降落時(shí)，沒有人聽他的話。事后的照片裝滿了10個(gè)影集。

起初，當(dāng)他從舒服的空調(diào)房間的中心過道沖進(jìn)去的時(shí)候，這位酗酒者沒能成功地鼓動(dòng)起任何人。大家好象只在看他的樣子，沒有注意聽他在說什么。當(dāng)他終于找到一個(gè)人愿意出來看一看時(shí)，他完全成了孤家寡人，因?yàn)槟菛|西已經(jīng)不見了。由于激怒了那么多的有錢人，他清楚他不得不痛苦地離開那里。但是，很快他的恐懼得到了緩解，因?yàn)檫@時(shí)外星人破窗而入，好象知道要當(dāng)酗酒者的助手似的。

當(dāng)大家明白酗酒者提到的外星人確實(shí)存在而且總體上是由一種不知名的、普通子彈打不穿的合金構(gòu)成的時(shí)候，他們尖叫著四處亂跑，竟沒有留出一條出路，結(jié)果誰也沒有機(jī)會(huì)逃出去。他們的行為總的來說就好象世界上沒有人能把他們從這種性質(zhì)不同的疾病中解救出來。他們的感覺是對的，因?yàn)槿魏瓮鈦淼脑紱]能阻止外星人吃掉酒店里的每一個(gè)人。WORDS allure

n.誘惑力，魅力

vt.誘惑，引誘，吸引 almighty

a.1.全能的，萬能的 2.很大的，很強(qiáng)的 alternate

a.1.交替的，輪流的；供選擇的 2.間隔的

v.（使）輪流，（使）交替 amass

vt.積累，積聚 ambiguous

a.引起歧義的，模棱兩可的，含糊不清的 ambitious

a.1.有抱負(fù)的，雄心勃勃的 2.有野心的 amend

vt.修改，修訂，改進(jìn) n.[pl.]賠罪，賠償 amiable

a.和藹可親的，友好的 ammunition n.彈藥，軍火 ample

a.1.足夠的

2.寬敞的，面積大的 amplify

vt.1.放大（聲音等），增強(qiáng) 2.擴(kuò)大，詳述，進(jìn)一步闡述 analogy

n.比擬，類比，類推 by analogy 用類推的方法 analyst

n.1.分析家，化驗(yàn)員

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2.心理分析學(xué)家 analytic

見analytical analytical

a.分析的，分析法的 anarchist

n.無政府主義者 ancestry n.祖先，世系 anecdote n.軼事，趣聞 angel n.1.天使 2.可愛的人 anguish

n.（精神或肉體的）極度痛苦 annex

vt.兼并，吞并 n.附屬建筑物

It had been an ambitious plan.The anarchist had tried to rob a bank all by himself, but then he had ran out of ammunition and now he was trapped in a back portion of the bank building with no escape.As he stood in silence, hugging his gun and waiting to be found, the anarchist knew that there would be ample anecdotes from newspaper analysts the next day to amend to his obituary.They would certainly refer to the anguish he had undergone as a child.Then they would employ all their analytical abilities to reveal other impacts of his ancestry on his ambiguous life.These thoughts flew from his mind however when an angel suddenly appeared to him.He fell to his knees, sure that the Almighty God was coming to take him home.His fears were only amplified when the angel said in an alluring yet powerful voice, “Fear out, your time is short.Stop your goal to amass a foutune for yourself and turn to God.”

Not having any analogy to help him know what to say, or any reference for his excellent analytic abilities to think about, the anarchist only kneeled in silence and empty thought.Then the angel smiled and spoke again in a more amiable voice, “Stand up.The Lord is providing you a chance to lead an alternate life.Leave this place now through the rear buildings annex and you will escape.But remember, God is watching.”

When the angel was gone the anarchist stood and ran.He had no idea how to describe this experience by analogy, but he was happy for a second chance.第二次機(jī)會(huì)

這是一個(gè)野心勃勃的計(jì)劃，這名無政府主義者想自己一個(gè)人搶劫銀行，但后來他沒了彈藥，被困在銀行大樓的后面無處可逃。

他靜靜地站著，緊緊地抱著槍，等著被發(fā)現(xiàn)，這時(shí)無政府主義者知道，第二天將有足夠的報(bào)紙分析家撰寫的軼事修改他的訃告。他們肯定會(huì)提到他小時(shí)侯經(jīng)歷的極度痛苦，然后運(yùn)用他們所有的分析能力揭示他的祖先對他的含糊不清的生活方式的影響。

當(dāng)這些想法在他的腦海里閃現(xiàn)，然而這時(shí)突然出現(xiàn)了一個(gè)天使。他跪下來，心想肯定是萬能的上帝要抓他回去。天使的聲音具有誘惑力和威懾力，這更增加了他的恐懼。“別害怕，你的時(shí)間不多了，別再為自己積累財(cái)富了，仰賴上帝吧?！?/p>

由于沒有任何類比可以幫他知道該說什么，也沒有任何參考供他優(yōu)秀的分析能力進(jìn)行思考，這名無政府主義者只能靜靜地跪著，腦子一片空白。

這時(shí)天使笑了，并且用更加友好的聲音說道：“起來吧！上帝正給你一次機(jī)會(huì)讓你過一種供選擇的生活，現(xiàn)在你就穿過后面建筑物的附屬建筑，離開這個(gè)地方，你會(huì)逃走的。但是記住，上帝在看著你。”

天使消失后，無政府主義者站起來跑掉了。他不知道如何用類推的方法描述這次經(jīng)歷，但是他很高興能有第二次機(jī)會(huì)。WORD activist

n.（政治活動(dòng)的）積極分子，活動(dòng)家 addict

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n.1.有癮的人

2.入迷的人

vt.使成癮，使入迷 additive n.添加劑 adhere

vi.1.(to)粘附，附著

2.遵守，堅(jiān)持

3.追隨，支持 adhesive n.粘合劑

a.可粘著的，粘性的 adjacent

a.(to)鄰近的，毗連的 adjoin

vt.貼近，與...毗連 adjourn

v.(使)休會(huì)，(使)休庭 administer

vt.1.掌管，料理...的事務(wù)

2.施行，實(shí)施

3.給予，派給，投(藥)admiral

n.海軍將領(lǐng)，艦隊(duì)司令 adolescent n.青少年

a.青春期的，青少年的 adore

vt.1.崇拜，敬慕，愛慕

2.非常喜歡 adorn

vt.裝飾，使生色 advent

n.出現(xiàn)，到來 adversary n.對手，敵手 adverse

a.不利的，有害的 aerial

a.1.飛機(jī)的，航空的，由飛機(jī)進(jìn)行的2.空中的，架空的 n.天線

aesthetic

a.美學(xué)的, 審美的, 有審美感的 affiliate vt.使隸屬于

n.附屬機(jī)構(gòu)，分公司 affirm

vt.1.斷言，堅(jiān)持聲稱 2.證實(shí)，確認(rèn) afflict

vt.使苦惱，折磨

A Change of Heart

The anti-war activist was not surprised at all that his primary adversay,the Admiral,had been afflicted with a drug addict for a son.He was actually quite happy to find out that his--------------------

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enemy had such personal problems.It was the advent of a new day,however,when the activist decided to help administer the treatment for the adolescent and help the Admiral fight this adverse situation.And it was clear that the [b][color=#ff0000]Admiral was a wonderful person when the activist saw how much the Admiral adored his son.Now living in an adjacent room in a special section of a treatment center, the activist was able to adhere to the strictest methods for helping the boy fight his addiction.The activist was able to help with aesthetic changes,such as adorning the boy with clean clothes, as well as affirm the boy as his body struggled with the medical additives that would help the boy get better.Certain events were luckily also not adhesive in the youth's mind.This included the boys' aerial leap from a tall building.He did not die only because he landed in the swimming pool of the adjoining building.And now the activist was gaining the attention of his affiliates because of his honorable actions.This had never been his motive.He had only wanted to help a person in need.And, as the Admiral adjourned their weekly meeting about the boy's progress,the activist was really happy that he had been able to make a difference in someone's life.徹底的改變

這位反戰(zhàn)積極分子的主要對手，艦隊(duì)司令因兒子染上毒癮而十分苦惱，但他對此一點(diǎn)也不感到廳怪。實(shí)際上，發(fā)現(xiàn)他的敵人有這樣的個(gè)人問題，他還感到很高興。然而，當(dāng)這位積極分子決定幫助實(shí)施對這位青少年的治療并協(xié)助艦隊(duì)司令對付這種不利情況時(shí)，新的一天到來了。很顯然，當(dāng)這位反戰(zhàn)積極分子看到艦隊(duì)司令對兒子是如何喜愛時(shí)，艦隊(duì)司令成了一個(gè)可愛的人。

現(xiàn)在這位反戰(zhàn)積極分子正住在鄰近治療中心特區(qū)的一個(gè)房間里，因而他能夠堅(jiān)持用最嚴(yán)格的方法幫助那個(gè)男孩戒除毒隱。這位反戰(zhàn)積極分子能夠用審美上的變化提供幫助，如用干凈的衣服打扮男孩，當(dāng)他的身體與醫(yī)療添加劑的副作用作斗爭的時(shí)候他會(huì)斷言它們會(huì)使他好起來。

有些事情幸好沒有在這個(gè)年輕人的心中留下記憶，其中包括他從高樓的空中跳下，他沒有死只是因?yàn)樗舻搅肃徑髽堑挠斡境乩铩?/p>

由于他的誠心相助，這位反戰(zhàn)積極分子得到了他的下屬的注意。這并不是他原來的動(dòng)機(jī)，他只是想幫助一個(gè)需要幫助的人。在艦隊(duì)司令使每周召開的討論男孩病情的會(huì)議休會(huì)時(shí)，這位積極分子為自己能使一個(gè)人的生活發(fā)生變化而感到由衷的高興。word nutrient

n.營養(yǎng)品，滋養(yǎng)物 a.營養(yǎng)的，滋養(yǎng)的 nutrition n.營養(yǎng) oak

n.1.櫟樹，像樹 2.櫟木，像木 oar

n.槳，櫓 oath

n.1.誓言，誓約 2.咒罵，詛咒語 on/under oath 在法庭上宣過誓 obedient

a.服從的，順從的 obscene

a.1.淫穢的，下流的 2.可憎的，可惡的 obscure

a.1.不著名的，不重要的 2.費(fèi)解的，模糊不清的 3.隱藏的，偏僻的 vt.使變模糊，掩蓋 obsession

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n.困繞，無法擺脫的思想（或情感）obstruct

vt.1.阻塞，堵塞 2.阻礙，阻止，妨礙 occupancy

n.占有，使用，居住 odor

n.氣味，風(fēng)味，聲譽(yù) odour 見odor offset

vt.補(bǔ)償，抵消 offspring

n.1.子女，子孫，后代 2.（動(dòng)物的）崽 olive

n.橄欖，橄欖樹 opaque

a.1.不透明的，不透光的 2.難理解的，晦澀的 oppress

vt.1.壓迫，壓制

2.使（心情等）沉重，使煩惱 opt

vi.（for）選擇，挑選 optimism

n.樂觀，樂觀主義 optimum

a.最合適的，最優(yōu)的，最佳的 orchard n.果園

The Ceremony!

The small group of boys quietly put the oars into their boats and walked into the oak orchard that would lead to an obscure hiding place where they would take an oath to become members of a secret organization.Most were the offspring of previous members whose obsessions were to have their children follow in their footsteps.The boys were therefore the optimum candidates;children of the rich who would be obedient to anyone who would make them richer.As their leader passed them under an olive tree that was obstructing the entrance to a small opening, a strong odor reached all of their noses.It was a nutrient rich smell that still somehow oppressed them all.But the odor and the opaque speech by their leader that followed did nothing to offset the optimism all were feeling that what they were doing was right.This was an organization that they all wanted to be part of, no matter what.Then an obscene ritual occurred which the boys would never forget.When it was over the boys were reminded that they were now all under an oath of silence and the few new members of the organization with a limited occupancy.It was too late to opt out.As a final act they all had to drink a drink that was certainly not good for one's nutrition.It tasted like blood.But they were all in now.And none of them would ever be the same again.入會(huì)儀式

一小群男孩悄悄地把槳放進(jìn)小船并走進(jìn)橡樹園，橡樹園通向一個(gè)偏僻的隱藏地點(diǎn)，他們要在那里宣誓成為一個(gè)秘密組織的成員。他們大部分是先前的成員的子女，那些成員都有一種無法擺脫的思想，那就是讓他們的孩子步他們的后塵，因此這些男孩是最佳人選：他們都是富家子弟，誰能使他們更有錢，他們就服誰。

他們的首領(lǐng)在一棵橄欖樹下面從他們面前走過，橄欖樹把一個(gè)小洞的入口堵住了，一股奇怪的氣味直沖他們的鼻子。那是一種很有營養(yǎng)的味道，不知怎的還是讓他們有些煩惱，但是那種味道及隨后首領(lǐng)發(fā)表的令人難以理解的講話并沒有抵消他們的樂觀情緒，他們覺得他們做得對。無論如何，這是他們都想加入的組織。--------------------

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然后就舉行了男孩們永生難忘的可惡的儀式。儀式結(jié)束之后，男孩們被提醒他們現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)發(fā)誓要保持安靜，他們少數(shù)幾個(gè)新成員居住的地方很小?，F(xiàn)在決定退出已經(jīng)太晚了。

他們要做的最后一件事是喝下一種東西，那東西肯定沒有營養(yǎng)，喝起來像血，但現(xiàn)在他們都已經(jīng)入會(huì)，他們誰也不會(huì)跟以前一樣了。

ordeal

n.苦難經(jīng)歷，折磨，煎熬 orient

vt.1.使適應(yīng)，使熟悉

2.（to,toward）使朝向，以??為方向（目標(biāo)）n.［the O_］東方，亞洲（尤指遠(yuǎn)東），東半球 oriental

a.東方的，東方人的，東方文化的 orientation

n.1.方向，目標(biāo)，方位

2.熟悉情況，適應(yīng)，情況介紹 originate

vi.（in,from,with）起源于，來自，產(chǎn)生 vt.創(chuàng)造，創(chuàng)始，開創(chuàng) ornament

n.1.裝飾品，點(diǎn)綴品 2.裝飾，點(diǎn)綴

vt.裝飾，點(diǎn)綴，美化 orphan n.孤兒

vt.使成為孤兒 orthodox a.1.傳統(tǒng)的

2.正統(tǒng)的，正宗的 oust vt.1.驅(qū)逐

2.罷黜，罷免，把??撤職（以取而代之）outbreak

n.（戰(zhàn)爭、情感、火山等的）爆發(fā)，（疾病、蟲害等的）突然發(fā)生 outfit

n.1.（用于某種場合的）全套服裝 2.（協(xié)同工作的）一組人 3.全套裝備，全套工具 outing

n.遠(yuǎn)足，郊游，短途旅行，外出參觀（或看戲等）outlaw

n.歹徒，亡命之徒 vt.宣布??為不合法 outrage

n.1.義憤，憤慨

2.暴行，駭人聽聞的事件 vt.激起??的義憤，激怒 outright

ad.1.坦率地，直率地，無保留地 2.完全地，徹底地 3.立即，當(dāng)場

a.1.清楚的，無疑的，明白無誤的 2.完全的，徹底的 outskrits[pl.] n.外圍地區(qū)，郊區(qū)，郊外 overdue

a.1.過期的，到期末付的

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2.早該有的，遲到的，延誤的 overflow

vi.1.滿得外溢，外流，泛濫 2.（with）充滿，洋溢

vt.淹沒，從??中溢出，多得使無法容納 n.1.容納不下的物（或人）2.溢出，滿出

3.溢流口，溢流管 overhear

vt.無意中聽到，偷聽到 overlap

v.1.（與??）部分重疊 2.（與??）部分相同 n.重疊，重疊的部分

An Outlaw Outing

The outing was long overdue.We had been hiding on the outskirts of town as outlaws for far too long.When we overheard that there was an outbreak of some sickness in town that had originated in the orient we knew it was time to come out of hiding and see what was going on.They were calling it the “Oriental Sickness” but we didn't care.The first person we met as we wandered into town was a boy who told us outright that he had just become an orphan.He had nowhere else to go and he wanted to join our outfit.Our leader was outraged that such a small boy had recognized us so easily, but we kept walking into town.Once there we saw that the ordeal must have been great.All ornaments on the buildings for the coming orthodox holiday season had been torn down, several were burnt from fire, and bodies were lying on the street.When we went to get water the bucket was overflowing with blood.We didn't dare drink anything.Quickly losing our orientation as outlaws on the run we were surprised when a mass of people rushed up to us.Their voices were overlapping as they cried for us to take them away.When we replied that we couldn't do anything the crowd turned ugly and ousted us from town.As we rode away none of us could speak.Sometimes natural events overwhelm you, as your own mistakes never can.歹徒的外出

出去的時(shí)間早就到了，我們作為亡命之徒在城外郊區(qū)已經(jīng)躲得太久。當(dāng)我們無意中聽到城里爆發(fā)了一種來自東方的疾病時(shí)，我們知道是我們離開躲藏地點(diǎn)出來打探打探的時(shí)候了。他們稱之為“東方病”，可我們不在乎。

我們漫步到街上首先碰到的是一個(gè)男孩，他坦率地告訴我們他剛剛成了孤兒，沒有地方可去，想加入我們這邦人。我們的頭兒很憤慨，因?yàn)檫@樣一個(gè)小男孩居然這么容易就認(rèn)出了我們，但我們還是繼續(xù)往城里趕。

一到城里我們就發(fā)現(xiàn)那里一定發(fā)生過一場苦難經(jīng)歷。建筑物上所有為即將到來的傳統(tǒng)節(jié)日準(zhǔn)備的裝飾品都被扯了下來，有些被火燒掉了，街上到處是尸體。我們?nèi)フ宜?，水桶里卻裝滿了血，我們什么都不敢喝。

作為逃跑中的歹徒我們很快迷失了方向，看到一大群人沖向我們，我們非常吃驚。他們大聲喊著要我們把他們帶走，他們的聲音重疊在一起。當(dāng)我們回答說我們幫不了忙時(shí)，人群變得兇巴巴的并把我們從城里驅(qū)逐出來了。

騎馬離開的時(shí)候，我們誰也說不出話來。有時(shí)候，雖然你自己的錯(cuò)誤決不會(huì)制服你，而天災(zāi)卻會(huì)。WORD anonymous

a.1.無名的，不具名的2.匿名的

3.無特色的，無個(gè)特征的 antagonism n.對抗，敵對，對立 antenna

n.1.觸角，觸須

2.天線

anthropologist

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n.人類學(xué)家，人類學(xué)者 antonym n.反義詞 ape n.猿

vt.模仿 appal 見appall appall

vt.使驚駭，使大吃一驚 apparatus

n.1.器械，器具，儀器

2.機(jī)構(gòu)，組織 appease

vt.平息，撫慰姑息 appendix n.1.闌尾

2.附錄

applaud vi.鼓掌，喝彩

vt.1.向...鼓掌，向...喝彩

2.稱贊，贊許 appraisal

n.估計(jì)，估量，評價(jià) apprehend

vt.逮捕，拘押，領(lǐng)會(huì)，理解 apprentice n.學(xué)徒，徒弟 apron n.1.圍裙

2.臺口(舞臺幕前的突出部分)3.停機(jī)坪 apt

a.1.易于，有(做某事的)傾向

2.恰當(dāng)?shù)?，適宜的3.聰明的，反應(yīng)敏捷的 aptitude

n.(學(xué)習(xí)方面的)才能，資質(zhì)，天資 arc

n.1.弧形(物)2.弧

3.電弧，弧光 arch

n.拱，拱門，拱形(結(jié)構(gòu))v.(使)成拱形

a.調(diào)皮的，淘氣的 archaeology n.考古學(xué)

My Apprentice the Ape

The ape had stolen his research apparatus!But now the anthropologist was going to make hime pay!He had always thought his apprentice might be apt to make some stupid mistake that could cost hime dearly,but the apprentice's aptitude had failed him when he pretended to be an anonymous archeology student in front of his own wife.How could she not recognize him? No one was larger or heavier in all the university----that's why they had started calling him “the ape”.The anthropologist wasn't appalled to learn that his wife had played along with the--------------------

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game,and ,not wanting to stop baking and take her apron off, let his apprentice through the [b][color=#ff0000]arch into his secret office.That was when he stole the apparatus!And his wife soon realized that she had made a mistake.Now,as his antagonism was again rising and he had almost reached the house,the anthropologist was certain that he would be able to apprehend the ape and appease his thirst for revenge.As he turned in an arc to stop his car in front of the driveway, and he saw that his apprentice had also seen him, he could tell that the ape was making an appraisal of his escape options.Quickly the anthropologist stepped out of his car, grabbed the antenna, broke it off and threw it at the apprentice.He couldn't help but applaud his aim when it punctured the ape's appendix!Knowing that the usual antonym for revenge was forgiveness, the anthropologist still did not go to help the now injured apprentice.我的猿徒弟

猿居然偷了他的研究器械！現(xiàn)在這名人類學(xué)家可是要讓他作出償還！他以前總是認(rèn)為，他的徒弟可能很容易犯點(diǎn)愚蠢的錯(cuò)誤，讓他損失慘重，可是當(dāng)他在自己的老婆面前假裝是一名無特色的考古學(xué)生時(shí)，徒弟的天資讓他大失所望。她怎么竟會(huì)認(rèn)不出他？整個(gè)大學(xué)里沒有人比他更大更重----這便是他們開始叫他“猿”的原因。

得知他的老婆也在做戲，而且因?yàn)椴幌胪Ｖ购婵静⒚摰魢梗阕屗耐降軓墓伴T進(jìn)到了他的秘密辦公室，人類學(xué)家并沒有因此而大吃一驚。他偷器械就是在這個(gè)時(shí)候！他老婆很快意識到她犯了個(gè)錯(cuò)誤。

現(xiàn)在由于他的敵對情緒又起而且?guī)缀跻呀?jīng)到家，人類學(xué)家肯定他能逮到猿以平息他對復(fù)仇的渴望。

當(dāng)他呈弧形把車開過來停在車道前面時(shí)，他發(fā)現(xiàn)徒弟也看到了他，他明白猿在估量他的逃跑方案。人類學(xué)家很快下車，抓住天線，把它扯掉并向徒弟扔去。天線刺到了徒弟的闌尾，他不禁拍手叫好！盡管人類學(xué)家知道復(fù)仇的反義詞一般是寬恕，但他還是沒有走過去幫助現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)受傷的徒弟。overpass n.天橋，立交橋 override

vt.1.不顧，不理睬，否決 2.壓倒，優(yōu)先于 overt

a.公開的，不隱蔽的 overthrow vt.1.推翻，打倒 2.使終止，摒棄 n.推翻，終止，結(jié)束 overturn

vt.1.使翻轉(zhuǎn)，使顛覆，使倒下 2.顛覆，推翻

vi.顛覆，翻轉(zhuǎn)，翻倒 overwhelm

vt.1,（感情上）使受不了，使不知所措 2.征服，制服

overwhelming

a.1.勢不可擋的，壓倒的 2.巨大的 owl

n.貓頭鷹 oxide n.氧化物 oyster n.牡蠣 ozone n.臭氧 pact

n.契約，協(xié)定，條約 paddle

n.1.短槳，槳

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2.（用腳拍打）玩水，涉水 vi.1.劃槳前進(jìn)，蕩槳

2.（用腳拍打）玩水，涉水 vt.1.用槳?jiǎng)潱ù?.用木板打 pamphlet n.小冊子 panda n.熊貓 pang

n.一陣（劇痛、悲痛等）panorama n.1.全景

2.概括，綜述，概觀 pant

vi.1.喘，氣喘 2.（for）渴望 vt.氣喘吁吁地說 n.氣喘，喘息 paperback

n.平裝本，簡裝本 parachute n.降落傘 vi.跳傘

vt.傘投，空投

No Hope?

Some people will do anything to overturn bad policy and save the planet.Environmentalists, in particular, are known for their overt attempts to overwhelm

businesses and governments to change.The issues they stand against are well known: the shrinking ozone layer, the protection of pandas, the destruction of spotted owl habitat, and even over fishing in areas where oysters beds are threatened.These people parachute into dangerous areas, paddle alongside massive fishing boats,or release pamphlets from airplanes because of their internal pact with each other to make a differnce.Against the panorama of these activities, it is sometimes difficult for normal people not to feel a pang of regret for how our own needs sometimes override those of nature.We cry when we see a baby seal killed, we pant when the air feels too full of carbon dioxide, and we weep that so many trees are being cut down to print the paperback books we love to read.But we don't know what to do.It all seems so overwhelming.Sometimes we even want to throw ourselves over the overpass into oncoming traffic because it is all so sad and we know that we can't overthrow our own governments.It is as if we really are like a virus on this planet, destroying all of nature to satisfy our own needs.While we may think of something to do that might make a small amount of change, we really don't know if we can make a big enough difference.And we fear that it will all be too late anyway!Have we really come this far to have it all end like this?

希望渺茫？

有些人會(huì)不惜一切推翻不好的政策、拯救這個(gè)地球。環(huán)境保護(hù)主義者在這方面尤為出名，因?yàn)樗麄児_想制服企業(yè)和政府，讓它們做出改變。他們關(guān)心的問題是眾所周知的：不斷縮小的臭氧層、熊貓的保護(hù)、已被發(fā)現(xiàn)的貓頭鷹棲息地的破壞、甚至還有在牡蠣繁殖地受到威脅的區(qū)域過度捕魚的問題。這些人跳傘到危險(xiǎn)地區(qū)和巨大的漁船一起劃槳前進(jìn)、或者從飛機(jī)上散發(fā)小冊子，因?yàn)樗麄兿嗷ブg有個(gè)內(nèi)部協(xié)定要與眾不同。

綜述所有這些活動(dòng)，正常人有時(shí)會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)很難不感到一陣后悔，因?yàn)槲覀冏约旱男枨蟛恢獮楹螘?huì)那樣壓倒自然的需求?？吹揭恢恍『１粴⑺牢覀儠?huì)哭起來，感覺空氣中有太多的二氧化碳我們會(huì)氣喘，那么多樹被砍倒印制我們喜歡看的平裝書會(huì)使我們流淚，但我們不知道該做些什么，一切都似乎那么勢不可擋。有時(shí)候我們甚至想把自己從天橋上扔到滾滾車流中去，因?yàn)橐磺卸寄敲戳钊藗模覀冇种牢覀儾荒芡品覀冏约旱恼?/p>

我們真像是這個(gè)星球上的病毒，我們破壞整個(gè)自然以滿足自己的需求。雖然我們可能會(huì)想起來做點(diǎn)什么、--------------------

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帶來一些小小的變化，我們實(shí)在不知道我們是否能夠扭轉(zhuǎn)乾坤，并且我們還擔(dān)心無論如何已經(jīng)為時(shí)已晚！我們真的到了一切只能這樣結(jié)束的地步嗎？ WORDS ardent

a.熱心的，熱情的，熱烈的 arena

n.1.表演場地，競技場

2.活動(dòng)場所 aristocrat n.貴族 armor

n.盔甲，裝甲，保護(hù)物 armour 見armor array

n.1.展示，陳列，一系列

2.排列，隊(duì)形

3.衣服，盛裝

4.數(shù)組，陣列

vt.1.排列，配置(兵力)2.打扮，裝飾 arrogant

a.傲慢的，自大的 arson n.縱火(罪)artery n.1.動(dòng)脈

2.干線，要道 articulate

a.1.善于表達(dá)的，發(fā)音清晰的2.表達(dá)得清楚有力的vt.1.明確有力地表達(dá)

2.清晰地吐(字)，清晰地發(fā)(音)artillery

n.1.火炮，大炮

2.炮兵(部隊(duì))ascend

vi.漸漸上升，升高

vt.攀登，登上 ascertain

vt.查明，弄清，確定 ascribe

vt.1.(to)把...歸因于 2.把...歸屬于 ashore

ad.在岸上，上岸 aspiration

n.強(qiáng)烈的愿望，志向，抱負(fù) aspire

vi.渴望，追求，有志于 ass

n.1.笨蛋，傻瓜 2.驢

[b][color=#ff0000]assassination n.刺殺，暗殺 assault

vt.(武力或口頭上的)攻擊，襲擊

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assert

vt.1.肯定地說，斷言 2.維護(hù)，堅(jiān)持 assert oneself

堅(jiān)持自己的權(quán)利，顯示自己的權(quán)威

The Advent of a New Day

As he drove the armored car around the arena in preparation for the assault on the President, Buck McCoy was having second thoughts.He had never aspired to this level of crime.And it was still quite difficult to ascertain how he had ascended to be given this task by his boss.He had always been good at simple arson and as well as an array of other tasks, but an assassination of the President of Botswana? He wasn't ready for this and he was ready to get his ass out of there.As Buck thought about it some more, he could only ascribe his involvement to his articulate brother.Always wanting to be among the aristocrats of crime, his brother asserted himself whenever he could into deeper levels of daring.This time,however, his arrogant behavior was going to cause Buck the loss of his life.And Buck didn't like that.Now it was time for him to assert his own thoughts, and he would stay ardent with his decision not to take part in this foolishness.So he left the arena and drove down to the boat that would take him ashore off the island where he had been testing his artillery.Yes, this was a risk to leave a job like this, but now it was Buck's aspiration to give up crime all together and find a career that was less stressful and damaging to his arteries.Maybe now his health would improve and he could live a less stressful life.新的一天的來臨

當(dāng)他駕著裝甲車在活動(dòng)場所周圍準(zhǔn)備對總統(tǒng)發(fā)起攻擊時(shí)，巴克.麥科伊正想他的心事。他從來沒有追求過這種水平的犯罪，他仍然很難弄清他是如何升到這種高位讓老板委以如此重任的。對于一般的縱火和一系列其他的活動(dòng)來說，這些一直不在話下，但暗殺博茨瓦納總統(tǒng)他行嗎？他沒有準(zhǔn)備好干這個(gè)，他準(zhǔn)備徹底擺脫這種愚蠢的行為。

經(jīng)過再三考慮，巴克只能把這一次的卷入歸因他那能言善辯的哥哥。由于一貫想成為罪犯中的貴族，他哥哥只要有可能就會(huì)顯示自己更加高超的冒險(xiǎn)水平。然而這一次他的自大行為將導(dǎo)致巴克丟掉性命，而巴克并不喜歡這樣。現(xiàn)在應(yīng)該是堅(jiān)持自己的想法的時(shí)候了，他有熱情堅(jiān)持自己的決定，不參預(yù)這種愚蠢的事情。

因此他離開活動(dòng)場所，開車來到一條船邊，這條船將帶他離島上岸，他一直在這座島上測試他的大炮。是的，離開這樣的工作是一種冒險(xiǎn)，但是現(xiàn)在巴克有一種強(qiáng)烈的愿望，那就是徹底即出江湖，尋找一份壓力更小、不那么損傷腦筋的工作。也許現(xiàn)在他的健康狀態(tài)會(huì)有所好轉(zhuǎn)，生活壓力也會(huì)有所減少。paradise n.天堂，樂園 paradox

n.1.似乎矛盾而（可能）正確的說法 2.自相矛盾的人（或事物）paralyse 見paralyze paralyze

vt.1.使癱瘓，使麻痹 2.使喪失作用

3.使驚愕，使呆若木雞 parameter

n.1.[常pl.]界限，范圍 2.參數(shù) parasite n.1.寄生生物 2.寄生蟲 parlor

n.1.（出售某些商品或提供某種服務(wù)的）店，館，院 2.客廳，會(huì)客室 parlour 見parlor--------------------

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parrot n.鸚鵡

participant n.參加者，參與者 partisan

a.黨派的，派性的，偏袒的 n.1.黨徒，忠實(shí)的追隨者 2.（敵后）游擊隊(duì)員 partiton

n.1.分隔物，隔墻 2.分割，劃分

vt.隔開，分割，劃分 partnership n.合伙（關(guān)系），合伙經(jīng)營（的企業(yè)），合伙人身份 passionate a.1.多情的

2.充滿激情的，激昂的 3.熱切的，強(qiáng)烈的 pastime n.消遣，娛樂 pastry

n.油酥面團(tuán)，酥皮糕點(diǎn) pasture

n.牧草地，牧場 vt.放牧 patent

n.專利，專利權(quán)

a.（有關(guān)）專利（權(quán)）的，受專利保護(hù)的 vt.得到??的專利權(quán) pathetic

a.1.差勁的，令人生厭的

2.引起憐憫的，可憐的，可悲的 patriot

n.愛國者，愛國主義者 patriotic

a.愛國的，有愛國心的，顯示愛國精神的

The Last Patriot of the Island Miki!

“I am the last patriot of the Island of Miki left in the world!” Said the parrot from behind the partition that blocked people seeing that he was not a person.“My island was once a paradise.But as is often the case you find great paradoxes in paradise.The paradox on my island was that our pastime was not eating pastries or singing patriotic songs, but destroying each other with our passionately partisan attitudes for how our island should develop.Some participants thought we could profit from tourism and patent the name of our island.Others wanted to set up patrols to keep outsiders away.These two sides could not form partnerships.They could not agree on any parameters.And this disagreement became a parasite that ate at the hearts of our people until we destroyed each other.I myself an paralyzed fromthe battle that followed on the beautiful pastures that were once filled with flowers!On that day they ran with blood.”

“This may sound pathetic.But I am now just a parlor joke.And no one believes my story.They cannot see that, just as happened on my island, countries are now heading towards destruction because people cannot agree with each other.If only they would listen to my story and learn from our mistakes.”

The crowd gasped as the partiton was taken away and they realized that the voice was that of a parrot.As for the parrot, he just looked down, even sadder that his story would not be heard because no one would believe a talking parrot, the last patriot of the Island of Miki.--------------------

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米基島上最后一個(gè)愛國者

“我是世界上剩下的米基島上最后一個(gè)愛國者！”鸚鵡從分隔物后面說，由于有分隔物擋著，人們看不出說話者不是一個(gè)人。

“我這座島曾經(jīng)是個(gè)天堂。但是正如經(jīng)常發(fā)生的那樣，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)天堂里有很多自相矛盾的事情。我的島上自相矛盾的事情是，我們的消遣不是吃酥皮糕點(diǎn)或者唱愛國歌曲，而是相互殘殺，因?yàn)閷τ谌绾伟l(fā)展我們這個(gè)小島，我們都充滿激情但屬于不同黨派。有些參與者認(rèn)為我們可以通過旅游業(yè)賺錢并獲得我們這個(gè)島名的專利，其他人則想成立巡邏隊(duì)以防止外來者的入侵。雙方就是不能結(jié)成伙伴關(guān)系，在任何范圍內(nèi)他們都不能達(dá)到一直意見，而這種分歧最后成了一種寄生蟲，它吞噬著我們的心，直到我們相互毀滅。我自己則在隨后的一場戰(zhàn)斗中癱瘓了，戰(zhàn)場是一個(gè)美麗曾經(jīng)長滿鮮花的牧場，那天他們渾身是血地跑著?！?/p>

這聽起來可能有些可悲，但我現(xiàn)在只是一個(gè)酒館的笑柄，誰也不相信我說的故事。他們看不見許多國家就像我的島上發(fā)生的那樣正因?yàn)榇蠹矣^點(diǎn)不一致而走向毀滅。他們要是聽我的故事，從我們的錯(cuò)誤中吸取教訓(xùn)就好了?！?/p>

分隔物被拿掉的時(shí)候人們倒抽了一口冷氣，他們發(fā)現(xiàn)聲音是一只鸚鵡發(fā)出來的。至于那只鸚鵡，他只是低著頭，他的故事沒有人聽，因?yàn)檎l也不愿意相信一只會(huì)說話的鸚鵡——米基島上最后一個(gè)愛國者，為此他更感傷心。

patron

n.1.資助人，贊助人 2.老主顧，顧客 patronise 見patronize patronize

vt.1.以高人一等的態(tài)度對待 2.經(jīng)常光顧，惠顧 3.贊助 pave

vt.鋪（路），鋪筑

pave the way(for)（為??）鋪平道路，（為??）作準(zhǔn)備 payroll

n.1.工資表，在職人員名單 2.工資總額 peanut n.1.花生

2.[pl.]很少的錢 pearl n.1.珍珠 2.珠狀物 3.珍品 pebble

n.卵石，小圓石 peck vt.1.啄 2.匆匆輕吻 vi.1.啄食

2.(at)小口地吃 n.1.啄

2.匆匆地一吻

3.（谷物等的干量單位）配克 pedal

n.踏板，腳踏 vi.腳踏板，騎車

vt.腳蹬，踩動(dòng)??的踏板 peddle

vt.1.（沿街）叫賣，兜售 2.宣傳，散播

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pedestrian n.步行者，行人 peel

vt.削??的皮，剝??的殼 vi.剝落，脫皮

n.（水果等的）皮，外皮 peel off 剝掉，脫去 peep

vi.1.窺視，偷看 2.隱現(xiàn)，慢慢露出 n.1.窺視

2.（汽車?yán)鹊模┼洁铰?3.（鼠、小鳥等的）吱吱聲 peg

n.1.小釘，栓，掛物釘 2.樁

vt.1.用釘子釘，用釘（或樁等）固定 2.限定（價(jià)格、工資等）3.將??看成，將??歸入 4.投（球）等 peg away at 堅(jiān)持不懈地做 penalise 見penalize penalize

vt.1.使處于不利地位，不公平地對待 2.判罰 pending

prep.直到，在等待??期間 a.1.未決的，未定的，待定的 2.即將發(fā)生的，迫近的 pendulum n.1.擺，鐘擺

2.搖擺不定的事態(tài)（或局面）penguin n.企鵝

peninsula n.半島 perch

n.1.（鳥類的）棲息處，棲枝，棲木 2.高處，較高的位置 3.鱸魚

v.1.（鳥）飛落，暫棲，停留 2.（在較高處或物體邊緣）坐著 vt.把??置于較高或危險(xiǎn)處

Penguin=Trouble

So I was pedaling down the street the other day when this funny looking pedestrian crossed the street in front of me.I thought this kid was going to get penalized by the cops for sure since he was swinging back and forth like a pendulum.Well, I couldn't peel my eyes off this kid when I crashed into one of our patrons.Her pearls went flying everywhere like pebbles over the road that had recently been paved.As I got up off the road I paved the way through the crowd to retrieve her pearls.When I heard a funny peep I looked up to see that the kid was a penguin！How I missed that, I'll neverknow, but I'm sure the other messenger boy will peg away at me untill they take me off the payroll or something.Anyhow, the penguin pecked me on the cheek like a--------------------

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kiss and then sat down on my bag like he was patronizing me from the top of some perch.I'm not one to hold grudges so I reached into my bag and pulled out some peanuts.As I peeled open the bag someone threw a couple coins down into my hat, which I had dropped.They must have thought I was peddling the penguin for money!

Well, right then and there I reached down, picked up that money and pegged the person in the back of his head.He turned around and started chasing me.Naturally I ran and now my case in court is still pending.But I never found out what happened to that penguin.I hope he made it back to his home on some ocean peninsula.I wouldn't want him hanging around the city much longer.He sure got me into trouble!企鵝＝麻煩

那天我正在街上騎車，突然有個(gè)樣子古怪的行人從我面前穿過馬路。我心想這個(gè)小家伙肯定要遭警察罰了，因?yàn)樗駛€(gè)鐘擺一樣晃來晃去。我無法把視線從這個(gè)小家伙身上移開，就在這時(shí)我撞到了我們一個(gè)老主顧身上。她的珍珠像小圓石一樣撒滿了最近才鋪好的路面。我加快速度在人群中為她鋪開了一條路讓她撿回珍珠。

聽到一聲奇怪的吱吱聲，我抬頭發(fā)現(xiàn)小家伙原來是只企鵝！我永遠(yuǎn)也無法知道我怎么就沒有注意到他只不過是只企鵝，但是我確信其他送信男孩會(huì)一直抓著我不放，直到他們把我從在職人員名單上拿下來或是怎么的。不管怎樣，企鵝像親吻一樣在我的臉上輕輕啄了一下，然后就坐在了我的包上，就像從某個(gè)高處以高人一等的態(tài)度對待我一樣。我不是個(gè)懷恨的人，所以我把手伸進(jìn)包里掏出一些花生來。在我打開包的時(shí)候，有人往我的帽子里扔了幾枚硬幣，因?yàn)槲野衙弊拥粼诹说厣?。他們一定以為我在拿企鵝叫賣！

就在此時(shí)此地我彎腰把錢撿了起來朝那個(gè)人的后腦勺扔去，他轉(zhuǎn)過身來開始追我。我自然是跑掉了，現(xiàn)在我在法院的案子還懸而未決。

但我一直沒弄清楚企鵝的下落，我希望他成功地回到了某個(gè)大洋半島他自己的家，我不希望他在城里做更多的逗留。他肯定是給我?guī)砹寺闊erfection n.完美，完善 to perfection

完美地，盡善盡美地，完全地 perfume

n.香水，香料，香氣 vt.1.使充滿芳香 2.灑香水于 peril

n.1.極大危險(xiǎn)

2.[常pl.]危險(xiǎn)的事（或環(huán)境）at one's peril

（尤用于告誡某人勿做某事）自擔(dān)風(fēng)險(xiǎn) periodic

a.周期的，定期的，時(shí)而發(fā)生的 periodical n.期刊

a.周期的，定期的，時(shí)而發(fā)生的 perish

vi.1.喪生，毀滅，消亡

2.（橡膠、皮革等）失去彈性，老化 permeate

v.1.彌漫，遍布，散布 2.滲入，滲透 permissible

a.可允許的，許可的 perpetual

a.1.永久的，永恒的，長期的 2.無休止的，沒完沒了的 perplex

vt.使困惑，使費(fèi)解，使復(fù)雜化 persecute

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vt.1.迫害，虐待 2.糾纏，騷擾 persevere

vi.堅(jiān)持不懈，鍥而不舍 persistent

a.1.堅(jiān)持不懈的，執(zhí)意的 2.持續(xù)的

persuasion n.1.說服（力），勸說 2.信念，信仰 pertain

vi.(to)從屬，有關(guān) pertinent

a.有關(guān)系的，相關(guān)的 pest

n.1.有害生物，害蟲 2.討厭的人 pester

vt.不斷打擾，糾纏 pesticide n.殺蟲劑，農(nóng)藥 petal n.花瓣 petition

n.請?jiān)笗暾垥?，訴狀

v.（向??）請?jiān)?，正式請?/p>

A Persistent Female Lawyer

The female lawyer I knew was perpetually pestering judges to have periodic lunches with her.I am sure she thought this was permissible, but everyone else was sure she was going heavy on the perfume and female persuation tactics to gain some extra favor at all of their peril.So my friends and I decided to gain some pertinent information about her case history to see if it might reveal if her persistent behavior had had any actual effect.We were surprised to learn that it had.In periodical reports we found out that she was always winning cases with the judges she took to lunch.We knew our future as lawyers would blossom like the petals on a rose if we could prove this, but we also realized that our future could perish if we went after the judges and failed.So I decided to drop my case dealing with pesticide control and focus on a petition that would show all proof pertaining to what we had found.My work would have to near perfection if I wanted to succeed.The case permeated my life for weeks.Whenever I was perplexed by what I had found I persevered to the perfection that I had sought.I did not want to persecute this female lawyer——I wanted to send her and the judges to jail.Then they would not call me a pest and know that it was their own actions that brought about their peril.I won the case.The female was barred from practicing law and the four judges she had influenced all went to prison!I am, by the way, also a woman!堅(jiān)持不懈的女律師

我知道的這名女律師沒完沒了地纏著幾位法官定期與她一起吃午飯。我確信她認(rèn)為這樣做是允許的，但其他人都覺得她是在用大量的香水和女性的勸說手段獲取更多的優(yōu)勢而讓他們所有的人自擔(dān)風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。于是我和我的朋友決定就她的案例記錄取得一些相關(guān)的信息，看能否弄清楚她那堅(jiān)持不懈的做法是否真的產(chǎn)生過影響。

我們吃驚地發(fā)現(xiàn)還真的有影響。在定期報(bào)告中，我們發(fā)現(xiàn)她請法官吃飯果然能常常打贏官司。我們知道如果能證明此事，我們未來的律師生涯將像盛開的玫瑰花瓣一樣；但我們同時(shí)意識到如果我們調(diào)查法官卻一無所獲，我們的未來就玩完了。所以我決定放棄手中有關(guān)農(nóng)藥控制的案子而集中寫好一份關(guān)于我們的發(fā)現(xiàn)的訴狀。如果想成功，我的工作要做得近乎完美。

幾個(gè)星期以來這個(gè)案子一直滲透到了我的生活。只要我對我的發(fā)現(xiàn)感到困惑我就會(huì)堅(jiān)持不懈，追求完美。我并不想迫害這名女律師——我只想把她和那些法官送進(jìn)監(jiān)獄。這樣他們就不會(huì)認(rèn)為我是個(gè)討厭的人，并且知道給他們帶來危險(xiǎn)的是他們自己的行為。

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我打贏了這場官司。女律師被取消了律師資格，受她影響的四位法官也被送進(jìn)了監(jiān)獄！順便說一下，我也是名女性！

petty

a.1.小的，瑣碎的，不重要的 2.氣量小的，心胸狹窄的 pharmacy n.1.藥房，藥店 2.藥劑學(xué)，配藥 physiological a.生理的，生理學(xué)的 picket

n.1.（罷工時(shí)的）糾察隊(duì)，糾察隊(duì)員 2.警戒隊(duì)，警戒哨

vt.1.在??設(shè)置糾察線

2.派??擔(dān)任糾察，布置（警衛(wèi)）警戒 vi.擔(dān)任糾察（或警戒哨）picturesque a.1.美麗如畫的

2.（語言）生動(dòng)的，繪聲繪色的 pier

n.（伸入水域的）碼頭，突堤 piety

n.虔誠，虔敬 pilgrim n.1.朝圣者

2.（在國外的）旅行者，漫游者 pineapple n.鳳梨，菠蘿 pinpoint

vt.1.準(zhǔn)確描述，確定，確認(rèn) 2.精確地確定??的位置 n.針尖，尖端 a.十分精確的 pirate

n.1.非法盜?。ɑ驈?fù)制）者，侵犯版權(quán)者 2.海盜

vt.1.以海盜的方式搶劫，搶掠 2.盜用，非法盜?。ɑ驈?fù)制）pistol n.手槍 piston n.活塞 pitfall

n.1.隱患，易犯的錯(cuò)誤 2.陷阱，圈套 pizza

n.意大利餡餅，比薩餅 plague

n.1.瘟疫，鼠疫 2.災(zāi)難，禍患

vt.使痛苦（或難受），給??造成困難（或麻煩）plank

n.1.厚木板（條）

2.政綱條目，政策要點(diǎn) plaster

n.1.灰漿，灰泥

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2.石膏

3.橡皮膏，膏藥

vt.1.在??上抹灰泥，厚厚地涂抹 2.粘貼于，張貼于，貼滿 plateau n.1.高原

2.（上升后的）穩(wěn)定時(shí)期（或狀態(tài)）plausible

a.似有道理的，似乎正確的，貌似可信的 plea

n.1.懇求，請求 2.抗辯，答辯，辯護(hù) 3.借口，托辭

False Piety

It was another day on the picket line.Today we were in front of a pharmacy that supposedly sold drugs tested on animals to increase people's physiological tolerance for pain.Well that was plausible, but no one ever heard our pleas, they just went from one petty picket line to another unable to pinpoint an overall theme to our actions.I was at a plateau on the whole picket line thing when we met a man who said that we could have a greater impact by pirating ships, using pistols, and doing something more drastic.This would get more attention as well as our faces plastered all over the TV screen and newspapers.We decided to give it a try.He never mentioned any pitfalls.Our first and only action was on a picturesque pier in Southern California.After eating our fill of pizza and pineapples we headed to the fishing boat that we were sure caught fish and also killed dolphins in the process.Our plan was to wreck the pistons of the boat engine and then make the captain symbolically walk the plank.But we were pilgrims in this new country of activism and the police fell upon us like the plague before we had done any damage at all.It also turned out that the man who told us to do this was an undercover policeman.All of his false piety was simply a trap to get us to do something crazy so that he could arrest us.And we had fallen for it all.假裝虔誠

糾察線進(jìn)入了新的一天。今天我們是在一家藥店前面，據(jù)說這家藥店買的藥在動(dòng)物身上做過實(shí)驗(yàn)，是用來增強(qiáng)人們?nèi)淌芴弁吹纳砟芰Φ?。這聽起來似乎有些道理，但沒有人聽我們請求，他們只是從一條小的糾察線走到另外一條小的糾察線，不能對我們行動(dòng)的主題作出準(zhǔn)確判斷。在整個(gè)糾察線里面，我處于一種穩(wěn)定狀態(tài)，這時(shí)我們碰到了一個(gè)人，他說通過以海盜方式搶劫船只、使用手槍、做一些更加極端的事情我們就可以有更大的影響，這樣會(huì)吸引更多的人注意，還會(huì)使我們的面部出現(xiàn)在電視屏幕上和報(bào)紙上。我們決定嘗試一下。他只字未提容易犯的錯(cuò)誤。

我們的首次同時(shí)也是唯一的一次行動(dòng)是在南加利弗尼亞一個(gè)風(fēng)景如畫的碼頭。吃飽比薩餅和菠蘿之后，我們向一條漁船走去，我們相信它能抓到魚并且還能在捕魚的過程中殺死海豚。我們的計(jì)劃是破壞船上發(fā)動(dòng)機(jī)的活塞，然后讓船長象征性地在原木板上行走。但是在這個(gè)新的激進(jìn)主義國家我們是朝圣者，我們還沒來得及搞任何破壞活動(dòng)，警察就像瘟疫一樣對我們進(jìn)行了襲擊。

原來那個(gè)要我們做這種事的人是個(gè)警察密探。他裝得那么虔誠完全是個(gè)圈套，他讓我們做一些瘋狂的事，這樣就可以把我們抓起來。我們還真上了他的當(dāng)。plead

vi.1.懇求，請求 2.申訴，答辯，辯護(hù) vt.1.為??辯護(hù)

2.提出??為理由（或借口）plight

n.困境，苦境 pluck

vt.1.拔，摘，采 2.拔除??的毛 3.彈，撥，彈奏

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vi.(at)拉，拽，拉扯 n.勇氣，膽量，決心 plum

n.李子，梅子 a.待遇好的 plumber

n.管子工，水暖工 plume

n.1.（升上空中的）一縷（煙、塵土等）2.羽毛，羽飾 plump

a.豐滿的，胖乎乎的

vi.1.(down)撲通倒（或坐）下，驀地摔下 2.(for)選定

vt.1.使撲通倒（或坐）下，驀地摔下 2.(up)輕輕拍打使（枕頭等）變得鼓起來 plunder

vt.劫掠??的財(cái)物，掠奪 n.1.劫掠物，贓物 2.劫掠，搶奪 pneumonia n.肺炎

poignant

a.令人痛苦的，辛酸的，慘痛的 poise

n.1.穩(wěn)重，鎮(zhèn)定

2.（優(yōu)美）姿勢，姿態(tài) 3.平衡，平穩(wěn)

vt.使平衡，使平穩(wěn)，平穩(wěn)地拿 poke

vt.1.戳，捅

2.用??戳（或捅），把??戳向 3.伸出，突出 vi.伸出，突出 n.戳，捅

poke about/around 搜索，探問 poke fun at

拿??開玩笑，取笑

poke one's nose into 探問，干預(yù) polar

a.1.地極的，近地極的 2.磁極的

3.正好相反的，截然對立的 polyester n.聚脂（纖維），滌綸 ponder

v.思索，考慮，沉思 pony

n.矮種馬，小馬 popcorn

n.爆玉米花，炒苞米 pope

n.[常the P_]（天主教）教皇，羅馬主教 porcelain

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n.瓷，瓷器 porch n.門廊 pore

n.毛孔，細(xì)孔

vi.(over)仔細(xì)閱讀，審視

The Lucky Plumber

The plumber had always been lucky at games.But the day he went to the carnival with the polar bear it all came to a poignant end.It started when he was poking about looking for a game to play.He had already done the pony ride, eaten popcorn, and plucked a plum from a tall tree using a feather to won a porcelain doll of the Pope.But now he was pondering if he could win a guessing game to win the polyester jacket that the game host was wearing as he sat on his porch.When he decided to try the host began to poke fun at him that he would lose his poise and not be able to guess his weight.And he was right.The plumber was wrong with his guess.He pleaded for a second chance and even paid to guess again.When he guessed wrong again a plump woman with a bright orange plume on her hat stepped in to try as well.The plumber poked her in the side and told her not to poke her nose into other peoples business.He was still playing and she wasn't going to plunder the prize that he thought was his!

But the plumber just could not win the guessing game.When he finally acknowledged his plight, the pores on his skin were all worn out from sweating so much!I hear he was never the same again and that he died of the pneumonia he caught that night a few weeks later.Some people just can't stand being down on their luck.幸運(yùn)的水暖工

這個(gè)水暖工玩游戲時(shí)一貫幸運(yùn)，但是那天他和北極熊一起去參加歡慶會(huì)時(shí)，他的運(yùn)氣令人痛苦地結(jié)束了。他到處探問有什么游戲可玩的時(shí)候壞運(yùn)氣就開始了。他已經(jīng)玩過騎矮種馬、吃爆玉米花、用一跟羽毛從一棵大樹上摘李子以贏取教皇的瓷娃娃，但是現(xiàn)在他正在思考他是否能夠在這次猜謎游戲中獲勝以贏得坐在門廊里的游戲主持人穿的那種滌綸夾克。

當(dāng)他決定試一下的時(shí)候，主持人跟他開了個(gè)玩笑，說他會(huì)失去平衡并猜不出他的體重。他還真說對了，水暖工猜錯(cuò)了。他請求再給他一次機(jī)會(huì)，他甚至愿意掏錢只要讓他再試。在他再次猜錯(cuò)的時(shí)候，一位豐滿的、帽子上插著一根鮮艷的橙黃色羽毛的婦女走近來也要試一下。水暖工在她側(cè)面捅了一下并告訴她不要干預(yù)別人的事，他說他還在玩，她不要搶走他認(rèn)為屬于他的獎(jiǎng)品！

但是水暖工就是贏不了這次猜謎游戲。等他終于承認(rèn)自己的困境時(shí)，他皮膚上的毛孔因?yàn)槌龊固喽級牡袅?！我聽水他再也沒能重振雄風(fēng)，幾個(gè)星期之后他死于那天晚上得的肺炎。有些人就是不能忍受不走運(yùn)。portray

vt.1.描寫，描繪 2.扮演，飾演 postscript

n.1.（信末簽名后的）附言，又及 2.（正文后的）補(bǔ)充說明 posture

n.1.姿勢，姿態(tài) 2.看法，態(tài)度

vi.擺出（不自然的）姿勢，裝模作樣 potent

a.1.（藥等）效力大的，威力大的 2.強(qiáng)有力的，有說服力的 pottery

n.1.陶器，陶瓷器皿 2.陶器制造（術(shù)）3.陶器廠 poultry n.家禽，禽肉 practicable

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a.可行的，適用的 practitioner

n.開業(yè)者（尤指醫(yī)師、律師等）prairie

n.（尤指北美的）大草原 prawn

n.對蝦，明蝦 preach

vt.1.宣講（教義），布（道）2.竭力鼓吹，宣傳 vi.布道，說教 precarious

a.1.不安全的，充滿危險(xiǎn)的 2.不牢靠的，不穩(wěn)固的 precede

vt.在??之前，先于 precedent

n.1.先例，范例，判例 2.慣例

precipitate

vt.1.（突如其來地）使發(fā)生，促成 2.使沉淀，使沉析 n.沉淀物

a.突如其來的 preclude

vt.阻止，排除，妨礙 predecessor n.1.前任，前輩

2.（被取代的）原有事物，前身 predominant

a.1.占主導(dǎo)地位的，顯著的

2.（在數(shù)量等方面）占優(yōu)勢的，占絕大多數(shù)的 prefix n.1.前綴

2.（人名前的）稱謂 vi.1.加??作為前綴 2.把??置于前面 pregnancy n.懷孕，懷孕期

No More Prawn

The postscript to my wife's pregnancy complications were that she had been precariously close to death because she had eaten too much prawn.Certain potent chemicals in prawn precipitate difficulties during delivery.We had not heard this because medical reports were following precedent by not preaching diet changes before research was finished.Prawn was also supposed to affect a person's posture, but predominant data did not confirm this so it would be precluded from the report.The medical practitioners said that she should have eaten more poultry.This is what I told my wife as we drove home across the prairie.We lived a long distance away from the hospital in an area with a different prefix because we needed to be close to a special pottery school where I was studying.My predecessors had told me it would be risky to live so far from the hospital with my wife being pregnant.But I didn't think we had a choice.They portrayed several scenarios to prove to us that it would not be practicable for us to live so far away and taht there might be too many risks in getting my wife to the hospital.One was that her delivery would precede our arrival at the hospital.But this had not happened.There had been other complications.But now she was okay and we knew that she shouldn't eat prawn if she was ever--------------------

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pregnant again.This was going to be hard, however, because prawn was my wife's favorite food.別再吃蝦了

我妻子的懷孕并發(fā)癥的補(bǔ)充說明上寫著她的生命充滿危險(xiǎn)，離死亡已經(jīng)不遠(yuǎn)了，因?yàn)樗粤颂嗟膶ξr。對蝦中某種效力大的化學(xué)成分會(huì)導(dǎo)致難產(chǎn)。我們沒有聽說過這樣的事，因?yàn)獒t(yī)學(xué)報(bào)告是根據(jù)先例寫的，在研究完成之前他們是不會(huì)宣傳改變飲食的。對蝦據(jù)說還會(huì)影響一個(gè)人的姿勢，但是絕大多數(shù)數(shù)據(jù)沒有證實(shí)這一點(diǎn)，所以報(bào)告中可能會(huì)排除這種情況，醫(yī)生說她應(yīng)該多吃禽肉。

驅(qū)車過草原回家的時(shí)候我就是這么對我妻子說的。我們家離醫(yī)院很遠(yuǎn)，我們住的地方地名叫法不一樣，因?yàn)槲覀冃枰x我正在學(xué)習(xí)的那所特殊的陶器學(xué)校近一點(diǎn)，我的前輩告訴過我，說我妻子懷孕時(shí)住得離醫(yī)院這么遠(yuǎn)是很危險(xiǎn)的，但我認(rèn)為我們沒有選擇。他們描述了好幾種可能發(fā)生的情況，向我們證明我們住這么遠(yuǎn)是不合適的，送我妻子去醫(yī)院可能會(huì)有太多的危險(xiǎn)，其中包括她可能會(huì)在我們趕到醫(yī)院之前生產(chǎn)。但這樣的事情沒發(fā)生，卻出現(xiàn)了其他的并發(fā)癥。

不過現(xiàn)在她已經(jīng)沒事了，我們知道如果她再懷孕她不能再吃蝦了。但是這將是件難辦的事情，因?yàn)槲移拮幼類鄢晕r。

premature

a.1.比預(yù)期（或正常）時(shí)間早的 2.（做法等）不成熟的，倉促的 premier n.總理，首相

a.首要的，首位的，首次的 premise

n.1.[pl.]（企業(yè)、機(jī)構(gòu)等使用的）房屋和地基，經(jīng)營場址 2.前提，假設(shè) premium

n.1.（投保人向保險(xiǎn)公司支付的）保險(xiǎn)金 2.額外費(fèi)用，加付款

3.獎(jiǎng)品，贈(zèng)品，額外津貼 a.1.高級的，優(yōu)質(zhì)的 2.售價(jià)高的

at a premium 1.奇缺的，難得的

2.以超過一般的價(jià)格，以高價(jià) put/place a premium on 高度評價(jià)，重視 preoccupy

vt.使全神貫注，使入神 prescription

n.1.規(guī)定，規(guī)定性的東西（如條例、指示、命令等）2.處方，藥方，（醫(yī)生開的）藥 3.解救方法，訣竅 preside

vi.(at,over)主持，主管 prestige n.威信，威望 presume

vt.1.推測，假定，（沒有證據(jù)地）相信 2.冒昧（做），擅（做）3.認(rèn)定，推定 vi.擅自行事 presume on（不正當(dāng)?shù)兀├?pretentious

a.自命不凡的，自負(fù)的，炫耀的 pretext n.借口，托詞

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prevalent

a.流行的，普遍的 preview

n.1.（電影、戲劇等的）預(yù)映，預(yù)演，預(yù)先審查（或檢查）2.（電影等的）預(yù)告（片）prey

n.1.被捕食的動(dòng)物，捕獲物 2.受害者

v.1.(on)捕食 2.折磨，使煩惱 fall prey to

成為??的犧牲品，深受??之害 prick

vt.1.刺，扎，戳 2.刺痕，刺痛

3.使內(nèi)心極度痛苦

vi.引起（或感到）刺痛 n.1.刺，扎，戳 2.刺痛

3.刺痕，刺孔

prick up one's ears（使）豎起耳朵注意聽，（使）立刻注意起來 privacy

n.1.（不受干擾的）個(gè)人自由 2.隱私，私生活，私事 probability

n.1.可能性，可能發(fā)生的事 2.概率

in all probability 十有八九，很可能 probation n.1.緩刑（期），（以觀后效的）察看 2.試用（期），試讀（期）probe

v.1.探索，查究，調(diào)查

2.用探針（或探測器等）探查，探測 n.1.探針，探測器 2.探索，調(diào)查 proceedings

n.1.進(jìn)程，過程，議程 2.訴訟，訴訟程序 3.會(huì)議錄，公報(bào)

Burglary in a Premium Apartment

As the proceedings began we decided to first probe for the prevalent possible reasons that Nicky has fallen prey to a burglar in her premium apartment in the premier downtown district in New York.If she had lived in a more dangerous neighborhood this would have been a prescription for burglary.But Nicky had been living in an apartment building with high prestige where a premium was placed on security, multiple guards hired at a premium rate patrolled the premise, and privacy was presumed.You couldn't prick your finger in the hallways without being observed.A number of possibilities had already been discussed for how the crime happened.No one in the area was on probation.No pretext had be found so far that would give anyone reason to steal from Nicky.And none of the guards were preoccupied by any distraction at the time of the crime.Any of our finding would be premature, however, until we considered the probability that it was an inside job.We would have to presume on the apartment staff for interviews.And I would personally preside over all of these interviews.In all probability we--------------------

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would find nothing, but we would be called pretentious if we did not follow proper procedure.As we began the interview I took a quick preview of the people we would meet.All looked like they were prey caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.But the words of one woman pricked up my ear as I heard her say that Nicky was always trying to make trouble in their building.I listened closely as I knew that this might be our best suspect.But we still had a lot of work to do to find out for sure.高級公寓內(nèi)的盜竊案

訴訟程序開始的時(shí)候我們決定首先調(diào)查尼基成為劫賊手下犧牲品的普遍并且可能的原因。她是在紐約主要中心地區(qū)她的高級公寓內(nèi)遇害的。如果她住在一個(gè)更加危險(xiǎn)的地區(qū)那么搶劫的事情還有較高的可能性，但是尼基住在一幢很有名氣的公寓里面，那里交過安全保險(xiǎn)金，還高價(jià)聘請了許多保安在房屋和地面巡邏，人們認(rèn)定那里的私生活不會(huì)受到干擾，即使你在過道里戳一下手指也一定會(huì)被發(fā)現(xiàn)。

對于案發(fā)過程已經(jīng)討論了好幾種可能性。那個(gè)地方?jīng)]有人在服緩刑，到目前為止還沒發(fā)現(xiàn)任何人有想偷尼基東西的借口，案發(fā)的時(shí)候沒有一個(gè)保安被別的事情完全吸引住。但是，我們的任何發(fā)現(xiàn)都是不成熟的，直到我們想到內(nèi)部作案的可能性。我們要利用公寓內(nèi)的工作人員，對他們進(jìn)行面談，而我將親自主持所有這些面談。很可能我們會(huì)一無所獲，但如果不走合適的程序別人會(huì)說我們自命不凡。

隨著面談的開始我很快預(yù)先審查了一下我們要見的那些人。他們看上去都像是被迎面而來的汽車車前燈照射的受害者，但是有一名婦女的話立刻引起了我的注意，因?yàn)槲衣牭剿f尼基總是想在他們樓里制造麻煩。我聽得很仔細(xì)，因?yàn)槲抑肋@可能是我們最重要的嫌疑犯，但是要找到確鑿的證據(jù)我們還有大量的工作要做。proclaim

vt.1.宣告，宣布，聲明 2.顯示 prodigy

n.奇才，天才（尤指神童）productive

a.1.多產(chǎn)的，富饒的 2.富有成效的 productivity n.生產(chǎn)力，生產(chǎn)率 profess

vt.1.表示，承認(rèn) 2.宣稱信仰 proficiency n.熟練，精通 profitable

a.有利可圖的，有益的 profound

a.1.深度的，深切的，深遠(yuǎn)的 2.知識淵博的，見解深刻的 3.深?yuàn)W的 proliferate vi.激增，擴(kuò)散，（迅速）繁殖，增生 prolong

vt.延長，拉長，拖延 promising

a.有希望的，有前途的 prone

a.1.(to)易于??的，很可能??的 2.俯臥的 prop vt.支撐

n.1.支柱，支撐物

2.支持者，后盾，靠山 prop up 支持，資助 propaganda

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n.宣傳

propagate vt.1.繁殖，增殖

2.傳播，宣傳，使普及 vi.繁殖，增殖 propel

vt.1.推進(jìn)，推動(dòng) 2.激勵(lì)，驅(qū)使 prophecy

n.預(yù)言，預(yù)言能力 prophet n.1.先知 2.預(yù)言者

proposition n.1.論點(diǎn)，主張 2.建議，提案 3.命題 prose n.散文

prosecute

vt.1.對??提起公訴，告發(fā)，檢舉 2.繼續(xù)從事 vi.起訴，告發(fā)

A Proficiency Prophet

Our boss was a prophet for proficiency.When he proclaimed the merits of improving productivity and making the company more profitable he spoke in such prose that hecould have propagated anything and we would have followed.Whatever he professed was said in such a profound manner thatwe were all immediately propelled to be more productive.And his prophecies were all true.His propaganda helped prolong the sucess of our company before its promising future came to a sudden halt.Our boss was prosecuted with propping up our company as a cover for child smuggling.This only happened because police had caught our boss addcpting a proposition from an undercover policeman to kidnap the prodigy of the mayor of our city.The crime had never happened, but the damage had been done.We had lost our boss, the prophet, the hero and the company was devastated.All of us who had proliferated the proclamations of our boss could only shake our heads in disbelief.We could not believe that such a strong person would be involved with such an evil business at the same time as he was doing such a good job at building our company.Only a few of us connected the fact that our boss was prone to accept challenges.If he thought something couldn't be done, then he would try it.But our company had still been a prop for his illegal activities, and we had all been fooled!料事如神的預(yù)言者

我的老板是個(gè)料事如神的預(yù)言者。在他宣布提高生產(chǎn)力、使公司更加賺錢的好處時(shí)，他說的像寫散文一樣，好象他什么事情都會(huì)宣傳，我們只好聽他的。不管他想表示什么，他說的話總是很深刻，總是能激勵(lì)我們馬上提高生產(chǎn)力。而且他的預(yù)言總是對的，他的宣傳使我們公司的成功能得以延續(xù)，后來公司的光明前途才突然停止了。我們的老板被起訴支持我們的公司掩護(hù)拐賣兒童。

這事被發(fā)覺是因?yàn)榫炜吹轿覀兊睦习鍙囊粋€(gè)警察密探那里接受了綁架市長天才兒童的建議。綁架并沒有發(fā)生，但是破壞已經(jīng)造成，我們失去了我們的老板，那個(gè)預(yù)言者和英雄，公司也給弄垮了。我們所有擴(kuò)散過老板的宣言的人只能不相信地?fù)u搖頭，我們不能相信這樣一個(gè)強(qiáng)人會(huì)同時(shí)卷入這種邪惡的交易，因?yàn)榘l(fā)展我們的公司他是功不可沒的。只有少數(shù)幾個(gè)人想到了這么一個(gè)事實(shí)，那就是我們的老板傾向于接受挑戰(zhàn)。如果是他認(rèn)為不能做的事情，那么他就要試一試。但是我們公司畢竟支持過他的非法活動(dòng)，我們都被愚弄了。prospective

a.預(yù)期的，未來的，可能的 prosper

vi.興旺，繁榮，成功 Protestant

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n.新教徒 a.新教徒的 prototype n.原型 proverb

n.諺語，俗語，格言 provocative

a.1.挑釁的，煽動(dòng)的，刺激的 2.挑逗的 proximity n.接近，鄰近prudent

a.審慎的，小心謹(jǐn)慎的 prune

n.1.洋李，李子 2.修剪，修整 3.刪除，削減 pry

vi.窺探，刺探，打聽 vt.1.撬動(dòng)，撬開，撬起 2.費(fèi)力地得到，使勁分開 psychiatrist

n.精神科醫(yī)生，精神病專家 pudding n.布丁 puddle

n.（雨）水坑，泥潭 puff

vi.1.喘氣，喘息

2.一口一口地抽煙（或噴煙）3.噴著煙（或蒸汽）移動(dòng)

vt.1.邊噴邊吸（煙），抽（煙）2.噴出，使一陣陣吹（或噴）

n.1.（抽）一口煙，（空氣、煙霧等的）一股 2.喘氣，喘息 puff out

使膨脹，使腫脹 puff up

腫起，腫脹，傲慢，自負(fù)，趾高氣揚(yáng)，盛氣凌人 pulp

n.1.果泥，菜泥，醬

2.果肉，瓜瓤，植物的肉質(zhì)部分 3.紙漿

4.低級書刊 a.低級的 vt.使成漿狀 pumpkin n.南瓜 puppet n.1.木偶

2.傀儡，受人操縱的人（或集團(tuán)）puppy

n.小狗，幼犬 purge

vt.清洗，清除，使凈化 n.1.清洗，清除異己

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2.瀉藥 purify

vt.1.使純凈，提純 2.使純潔

To Be a Protestant

Dr.Hill was a psychiatrist who was puffed up with his own ideas.He was sure that there was something provocative about Protestants and their desire to purge themselves of their sin.What he would never know, however, was that they were as harmless as puppies and only interested in purifying their own hearts so that they could worship God.They believed that they would only prosper with a pure heart and that their prototype was Jesus Christ.Dr.Hill didn't believe any of that.He believed that the proverbs they all foolowed were pulp and that they were all the puppets of their leaders.And as Dr.Hill's proximity to these people increased, he was sure that his prying to expose the truth was the most prudent thing he had ever done in his life.Finally he decided that he would pretend he was a prospective believer and attend one of the Protestant's most frequent rituals: a potluck*.Dr.Hill puffed, however, when he saw all of the food present.There was turkey, hot dogs, spaghetti, vegetable dishes, prune and pumpkin pies, and cake and pudding.He would surely puff out if he ate everything he wanted.And, as he ate the food and was overcome with the friendliness of the Protestants a puddle of tears formed at his feet.He didn't care what or who they believed in, he was going to become a Protestant just because of their potlucks!*potluck 便飯，便餐，此處指參加聚餐的人每個(gè)人各帶一味菜肴供共享的百樂餐。

當(dāng)個(gè)新教徒

希爾博士是個(gè)精神病專家，他很為自己的觀點(diǎn)感到得意。他認(rèn)為新教徒以及他們凈化靈魂、不做壞事的想法頗具煽動(dòng)性。但是，他永遠(yuǎn)都不知道的是，他們像小狗一樣不會(huì)傷害人，他們只對純潔他們的心靈感興趣以便他們能夠崇拜上帝，他們相信只有心靈純潔才能興旺發(fā)達(dá)，他們的原型是耶穌基督。

希爾博士可不信這些東西。他認(rèn)為他們都遵循的那些格言其實(shí)很低級，他們都是些領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者手下的木偶。隨著希爾博士越來越接近這些人，他相信他費(fèi)盡心思揭開真相是他一生當(dāng)中做得最小心謹(jǐn)慎的一件事。

最后他決定化裝成一個(gè)可能會(huì)信教的人參加一次新教徒最常舉行的意識：百樂餐。但是當(dāng)他看到所有食物時(shí)，希爾博士喘了一口氣：有火雞、熱狗、意大利面條、蔬菜、李子南瓜餅、蛋糕和布丁。如果他想吃什么就吃什么，他肯定會(huì)膨脹起來。他吃著東西，感到自己被新教徒們的友情所包圍，腳下的淚水形成了水坑。他才不在乎他們信仰什么或者信仰誰，他準(zhǔn)備當(dāng)個(gè)新教徒，就因?yàn)樗麄兊陌贅凡?！purity

n.純凈，純潔，純正 pursuit

n.1.追求，尋求 2.追趕，追逐

3.[常pl.]（花時(shí)間和精力的）事，嗜好，消遣 in hot pursuit 窮追不舍 pyramid n.1.金字塔

2.金字塔形結(jié)構(gòu)

3.錐狀物，棱錐狀的一堆東西 quaint

a.奇特而有趣的，古色古香的 qualitative

a.（性）質(zhì)的，質(zhì)量的，定性的 quantify

vt.確定??的數(shù)量，量化 quantitative

a.（數(shù)）量的，定量的 quart

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n.夸脫

quarterly

a.季度的，每季一次的 ad.按季度，一季一次 n.季刊 quartz n.石英 quay n.碼頭 queer

a.1.奇怪的，異常的 2.不舒服的，眩暈的 quench

vt.止（渴），撲滅（火焰）query

n.問題，疑問，詢問 v.1.對??表示疑問 2.問，詢問 quest

n.尋求，搜索，追求 questionnaire

n.（作統(tǒng)計(jì)或調(diào)查用的）問卷，征求意見表 quilt

n.被子，被單 quiver

vi.顫抖，發(fā)抖，抖動(dòng) n.顫抖，抖動(dòng)，顫聲 quota

n.定額，限額，配額 racism

n.1.種族歧視，種族偏見 2.種族主義 racket

n.1.喧嚷，吵鬧 2.敲詐，勒索，詐騙 3.（網(wǎng)球等的）球拍

In Pursuit of Understanding Race

Joe had always been on a qualitative quest to understand his history and the racism that he had experienced.The quantitative data that said he was part Egyptian, part Nigerian, and part Irish did not matter to him even though he did not know which race to put on questionnaires.And he never took advantage of quotas, which would have allowed him to go to the best schools.He was in hot pursuit of his own answer and there were no quaint solutions.He felt most queer, however, when he visited the Pyramids.He could not identify with the Egyptians, their mummies, or their quays along the River Nile.And when he danced with an African quilt around his shoulders near a quartz mine in Nigeria he also did not feel that he had quenched his thirst for understanding himself.Knowing that the time for his query was running short he took another quarterly vacation from his job to visit Ireland.“So your pursuit of understanding has led you here at last, Lad?”Said the man sitting next to him in an Irish bar with tennis rackets on the wall while drinking a quart of beer.“You can't quantify where you come from.It's in your heart!And there should be a purity to it all that makes you quiver when you finally understand it!”

As Joe left Ireland he knew that the man at the Irish bar had spoken true words of wisdom.He had no home country.He was just himself and that should be enough.Finally at peace Joe headed home.His quest was over.--------------------

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弄清自己是誰

喬總是從質(zhì)量上追求理解他的歷史和他所經(jīng)歷的種族主義。從數(shù)據(jù)的數(shù)量上來看，他部分是埃及人、部分是尼日利亞人、部分是愛爾蘭人，但這對他來說沒有多大關(guān)系，盡管他不知道在問卷上該填哪個(gè)民族。他從來都不利用配額，盡管這樣可以讓他上最好的學(xué)校。他只是窮追不舍地尋找自己的答案，但是卻沒有奇特而有趣的解決辦法。

但是，當(dāng)他參觀金字塔的時(shí)候，他感到很奇怪。他不能認(rèn)同埃及人、他們的木乃伊或者他們在尼羅河沿岸的碼頭。當(dāng)他肩上披著一塊非洲被單在尼日利亞一個(gè)石英礦附近跳舞時(shí)，他同樣感覺不到能撲滅他想了解自己的渴望。由于知道質(zhì)疑的時(shí)間所剩不多了，他又放下工作請了一個(gè)季假訪問了愛爾蘭。

“這么說你對了解身世的追求終于使你來到這里，小伙子？”在一家愛爾蘭酒吧坐在他身旁的一個(gè)人說，他喝著一夸脫啤酒，網(wǎng)球拍掛在墻上?！澳銦o法確定你是哪里人，答案就在你心里！你身上應(yīng)該有一種純潔性，當(dāng)你終于弄明白的時(shí)候，這種純潔性會(huì)使你顫抖。”

離開愛爾蘭的時(shí)候，喬知道酒吧里的人說的話真是充滿智慧。他沒有國家，他就是他，這就夠了。他的心情終于平靜下來，他踏上了回家的路。他的追求終于結(jié)束了。radiant

a.1.容光煥發(fā)的，喜形于色的 2.光芒四射的，光輝燦爛的 3.輻射的 radiate

v.1.發(fā)出（光或熱），輻射 2.流露，顯示 radioactive

a.放射性的，有輻射能的 radius

n.1.半徑，半徑范圍 2.周圍，范圍 raffle

n.對獎(jiǎng)售物，抽彩

vt.(off)用對獎(jiǎng)辦法出售 raft

n.1.木排，木筏

2.充氣救生筏，救生圈 vt.用筏子運(yùn)送 vi.乘筏子渡河 ragged

a.1.（衣服）破舊的，襤褸的 2.衣衫襤褸的

3.不規(guī)則的，參差不齊的，凸凹不平的 4.粗糙的，不完善的，差勁的 rake

n.1.耙，草耙，釘齒耙 2.斜度，傾角 vi.1.耙

2.搜索，核查

vt.1.耙集，耙平，耙松 2.掃射，掃過 rake in

大量斂集（錢財(cái)）rake up

1.耙集，集攏，耙開，扒開 2.翻出（舊事等）重提 ramp

n.1.斜面，坡道 2.活動(dòng)舷梯，輕便梯 rampant

a.1.（犯罪、疾病等）猖獗的，肆虐的

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2.（植物）蔓生的，過于繁茂的 ranch n.1.大牧場 2.飼養(yǎng)場 random

a.任意的，隨機(jī)的 at random 隨便的，任意的 ranger

n.1.國家公園管理員，護(hù)林員 2.騎兵巡邏隊(duì)員 ransom n.贖金

vt.贖出，贖回

hold sb to ransom 擄某人索贖，要挾某人 rap

vt.1.（輕而快地）敲擊，急敲 2.(out)突然厲聲說出 3.責(zé)備，訓(xùn)斥

n.（輕快的）敲擊（聲），急敲（聲）rape

vt./n.強(qiáng)奸 rash

a.輕率的，魯莽的 n.1.疹，皮疹

2.（短時(shí)期內(nèi)）爆發(fā)的一連串 ratify

vt.正式批準(zhǔn)，使正式生效，認(rèn)可 rating

n.1.等級，品級，評定結(jié)果

2.[pl.]（電視節(jié)目的）收視率，（廣播節(jié)目的）收聽率 ration

n.1.配給量，定量 2.[常pl.]給養(yǎng)，口糧 vt.配給供應(yīng)，定量供應(yīng) rattle

vi.1.發(fā)格格聲，發(fā)連續(xù)短促的尖叫聲 2.飛奔，咯嚓咯嚓地行進(jìn)

vt.1.使碰撞作響，使發(fā)出連續(xù)短促的尖叫聲 2.使窘迫不安，激怒，使恐懼驚慌 n.1.連續(xù)短促的尖叫聲，碰撞聲 2.連續(xù)發(fā)聲的玩具，撥浪鼓 rattle off 飛快地說出 rattle on 1.飛奔

2.喋喋不休地講話

Bang!

I was rattling off reasons not to rape the woman but hold her for ransom when the Ranger burst into the room.I rapped my partner on the back with the pointed rake I was holding and he lifted his ragged head to look at the Ranger.I hoped he wouldn't do anything rash.“Now boys, I know you hope to rake in a large ransom for this young radiant woman.But I think I may just need to stop your rampant behavior right now and get you to come back with me to the ranch!” Said the Ranger.--------------------

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“You can't rattle us, Ranger.We got rations for weeks and a raft out back down the ramp to get away down the river.Pretty soon you won't be able to draw a radius for the area that we might be hiding in.” My partner said.“Well then, I'll have to rake up the mess right here and now and shoot one of you boys at random.Unless you want to rattle on and try and find a solution we can all ratify!”

“Your random shot might hit that raffle box in back and ricochet back to hit you, Ranger!Or it could hit this box of radioactive material I am carrying and we'll all die radiating like the sun!” Said my partner as he smiled from the corner of his mouth.“Well son.My rating of your skills just climbed.But I still can't let you take the girl.I'll just shoot you first!”

Bang!砰！

我正在飛快地說著理由不要強(qiáng)奸那名婦女、只要要挾她就行了，就在這時(shí)護(hù)林員闖了進(jìn)來。我用手里握著的尖草耙敲擊我同伙的背，他抬起頭發(fā)參差不齊的頭看著護(hù)林員。我希望他不要做出任何魯莽的事來。

“好啦，小伙子們，我知道你們想用這個(gè)光彩照人的年輕女人斂集大額贖金，但我想我現(xiàn)在就有必要停止你們猖獗的行為并讓你們跟我一起回大牧場！”護(hù)林員說。

“你激怒不了我們，護(hù)林員。我們帶了好幾個(gè)星期的口糧，在外面的坡道下面準(zhǔn)備了一個(gè)木排可以順河離開，很快你就搞不清我們可能藏身的地方的半徑了。”我的同伙說。

“那好，我就只能在此時(shí)此地收拾這個(gè)爛攤子了，我會(huì)隨便開槍打死你們其中的一個(gè)，除非你們想連續(xù)不斷地說話，想辦法找到一個(gè)我們大家都能夠認(rèn)可的解決辦法！”

“你隨便開槍可能會(huì)打到后面的抽彩箱，然后子彈就會(huì)彈回來打著你，護(hù)林員！或者你可能會(huì)打到我手里拿著的這個(gè)裝有放射性物質(zhì)的盒子，那樣的話我們都會(huì)像太陽發(fā)光一樣死掉！”我的同伙說，他的嘴角掛著一絲微笑。

“好小子，我對你的水平等級還真是刮目相看，但我還是不能讓你帶走這位姑娘，我這就先開槍打死你！”

砰！

rave

vi.1.胡言亂語，說胡話 2.(about)極力贊美 a.贊揚(yáng)（性）的 razor n.剃刀 reap

vt.1.收割，收獲 2.獲得，得到 reassure

vt.向??再保證，使消除疑慮，使放心 rebellion n.反叛，反抗 rebuke

n.指責(zé)，訓(xùn)斥 recede

vi.1.退，退去，漸漸遠(yuǎn)去 2.向后傾斜，縮進(jìn) receptive

a.（對知識、思想等）接受能力強(qiáng)的，能迅速接受的 recess

n.1.（工作等）暫停，休息，休庭 2.課間休息

2.凹處，凹室，壁龕

2.[常pl.]深處，幽深處，隱秘處 vi.暫停，休會(huì)，休庭 recipe

n.1.烹飪法，食譜 2.方法，秘訣，訣竅 recipient

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n.接受者，接收者 reciprocal

a.相互的，互惠的 recite

vt.1.背誦，朗誦 2.列舉，一一說出 vi.背誦，朗誦 reckless

a.魯莽的，草率的，不考慮后果的 reclaim

vt.1.改正，改造 2.開墾（荒地），開拓 3.回收

4.要求（或主張）收回，要求（或主張）恢復(fù) reconcile vt.1.使協(xié)調(diào) 2.使和解

3.(to)使順從（于），使甘心（于）reconciliation n.和解，調(diào)和 rectangle n.長方形，矩形 rectangular

a.長方形的，矩形的 rectify

vt.糾正，修復(fù) recur

vi.再發(fā)生，重現(xiàn)

Reconciliation

After his parents' last rebuke Jack's rebellion became worse.It seemed that there was nothing they could do to rectify the situation or reconcile with him.Fights kept recurring.They tried to be receptive to his needs, but when he recited a long list of changes he wanted at home they reassured him that they were not acceptable.Then he raved on that they never took him seriously about anything he wanted.That was when it became clear that their chances for reconciliation were receding.He had the reciprocal feeling and left to begin a reckless life trying to reap his own rewards out of life.It was a recipe for disaster that ended with Jack taking a razor to his own wrist.At the hospital his parents saw the rectangular pattern of needle scars on Jack's arm and wept that they had not been able to reclaim their relationship with him before he tried to kill himself.When he awoke it was as if they were on recess from fighting, none of them wanted that ever again.Standing together later with his sister also in the room, the rectangle that the four of them made when they hugged felt like it would never break.As the doctor came in they were even happier to hear that Jack was the recipient of a special scholarship to get care for his depression.Maybe they would finally be a family again.和解

在父母上次的訓(xùn)斥之后，杰克的反叛就更加厲害了。他們好象沒有辦法扭轉(zhuǎn)這種局面或者是與他和解，爭吵不斷地發(fā)生。他們嘗試著盡量接受他的要求，但是當(dāng)他一一說出一長串他希望家里應(yīng)該發(fā)生的變化時(shí)，他們再次向他保證，他們不能接受這些條件。然后他又胡說什么他們從來就沒有認(rèn)真對待過他的要求。這時(shí)已經(jīng)很清楚他們和解的機(jī)會(huì)在漸漸消失。他與他們的感覺是相互的，所以他離開家去開始一種不考慮后果的生活，他要從生活中收獲他自己的成果。

最后杰克用剃刀割破了自己的手腕，這件事倒成了解決問題的辦法。在醫(yī)院里，看到杰克手上縫合處結(jié)成的長方形針痂，父母哭著說他們沒能在兒子試圖自殺之前改善他們之間的關(guān)系。當(dāng)他醒來的時(shí)候，他們好象已經(jīng)休戰(zhàn)了，誰也不想再吵吵鬧鬧了。

后來他們站到了一起，當(dāng)時(shí)他妹妹也在房里，四個(gè)人擁抱成一個(gè)感覺好象永不分開的長方形。醫(yī)生進(jìn)來的--------------------

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時(shí)候，他們更加高興了，因?yàn)獒t(yī)生告訴他們杰克是一筆特殊獎(jiǎng)學(xué)金的接受者，專門供他治療憂郁癥。也許他們最終還是一家人。

recycle

vt.回收利用（廢物等）redeem

vt.1.彌補(bǔ)，補(bǔ)償，抵消 2.解救，救贖

3.(oneself)使免咎，挽回聲譽(yù) 4.履行，遵守（諾言）

5.將（股票、債券等）兌取現(xiàn)金 6.贖回（抵押品）redundant

a.1.（因人員過剩而）被解雇的 2.多余的，過剩的 reed

n.1.蘆葦，蘆叢 2.簧舌，簧片 reef

n.礁，暗礁 reel

n.卷軸，卷筒，卷盤

vi.1.搖搖晃晃地移動(dòng)，蹣跚 2.眩暈，發(fā)昏 vt.(in,up)卷，繞 reel off

一口氣說，重復(fù) referee n.1.裁判員

2.證明人，推薦人 3.仲裁者，調(diào)解者 v.當(dāng)裁判 refrain

vt.(from)抑制，克制，戒除 n.（詩歌的）疊句，副歌 refreshment

n.1.[pl.]茶點(diǎn)，點(diǎn)心

2.（精力的）恢復(fù)，精神爽快 refuge

n.庇護(hù)所，避難處，庇護(hù) refund n.退款

vt.退還（錢款）refute

vt.駁斥，駁倒 regime

n.政治制度，政權(quán) regiment

n.1.（軍隊(duì)的）團(tuán) 2.大量

vt.嚴(yán)格地管制，嚴(yán)密地編組 rehabilitate

vt.1.改造（罪犯等），使恢復(fù)正常生活 2.使恢復(fù)原狀，修復(fù) 3.恢復(fù)??的名譽(yù) rehearsal

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n.排練，排演 reign

n.君主的統(tǒng)治，君主統(tǒng)治時(shí)期 vi.1.當(dāng)政，統(tǒng)治 2.占主導(dǎo)地位 rein n.韁繩

vt.勒韁使（馬）停步 rein in

嚴(yán)格控制，嚴(yán)加管束 give(free)rein to

對??不加約束，放任，給??充分自由 rejoice

vi.感到高興，充滿喜悅 relay

n.1.接力賽

2.中繼轉(zhuǎn)播（設(shè)備）vt.1.傳送，傳達(dá)，轉(zhuǎn)述 2.中繼轉(zhuǎn)播 relegate

vt.使降級，使降職

A Marine Refuge

When the regime could no longer refute the evidence, they finally approved rehabilitating the coral reef and making it into a marine refuge.Money earned from recycling would be relegated to paying for the refuge and a portion of redundant

government refunds would pay for the rehabilitation.Everyone rejoiced and raised their refreshments into the air to toast that their hard work would be redeemed with nature being restored.And as the news was relayed throughout the country no one could rein in his or her excitement as they reeled from the joy of success.But some knew that this was just the rehearsal for a larger battle against companies that were given free reign to destroy marshes with rare reeds.The referees for this battle would not be so easy to influence.The companies that they would have to battle had already reeled off a refrain of praise for their own enviromental acts in other places.And their regiment of company paid news reporters who had already reined over the issue on TV and in the nespaper.They were determined not to let this reign end as well.But first they would enjoy this victory as much as they could.Victories were few and far between, why spoil the celebration with thoughts of the next battle.So they partied and praised the regime for its recognition that nature should be protected and sometimes restored.水下避難所

當(dāng)政府再也無法駁倒證據(jù)時(shí)，他們終于同意修復(fù)這座珊瑚礁并把它建成一個(gè)水下避難所。通過回收利用廢物賺來的錢將被降級使用用來支付避難所的開支，部分多余的政府退款將用于支付修復(fù)費(fèi)。每個(gè)人都充滿喜悅，他們把點(diǎn)心舉到空中祝他們的勤奮工作會(huì)通過修復(fù)自然得到補(bǔ)償。隨著消息在全國各地轉(zhuǎn)播，誰也不能控制住他或她的激動(dòng)，因?yàn)樗麄兌急粍倮南矏倹_昏了頭腦。

但是有一些人知道，這不過是一次更大的戰(zhàn)役的排練，他們要與一些公司做斗爭，這些公司被給予充分自由可以破壞蘆葦本已稀少的沼澤地。這場斗爭的仲裁者將很難發(fā)揮影響力。他們將要與之斗爭的那些公司已經(jīng)一口氣說出了經(jīng)常重復(fù)的表揚(yáng)，因?yàn)樗麄冊谄渌胤揭灿斜Ｗo(hù)環(huán)境的舉動(dòng)，而且他們的公司團(tuán)體買通了那些對該問題擁有控制權(quán)的電視臺和報(bào)社的新聞?dòng)浾?，他們決不會(huì)失掉這種已經(jīng)取得的統(tǒng)治地位。

但是首先他們要盡可能地享受這次勝利。勝利不是常有而且來之不易，為什么要因?yàn)橄胫乱淮螒?zhàn)役而影響這一次的慶祝，所以他們舉行聚會(huì)，表揚(yáng)政府承認(rèn)應(yīng)當(dāng)保護(hù)自然，并且有時(shí)候還要恢復(fù)自然。relentless

a.殘酷的，不留情的，無憐憫心的 reliance n.依靠，依賴 relics

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n.1.遺物，遺跡，遺產(chǎn) 2.遺體，尸骸 relish

vt.享受，從??中獲得樂趣

n.1.（美食等的）享受，滋味，樂趣 2.調(diào)味品 remainder

n.余下的部分，剩下的人數(shù) reminiscent

a.1.(of)使人想起??的 2.懷舊的，緬懷往事的 remnant n.殘留部分 remorse

n.痛恨，悔恨，自責(zé) renaissance

n.1.[the R_]（歐洲14至16世紀(jì)的）文學(xué)復(fù)興，文藝復(fù)興時(shí)期 2.（文學(xué)、藝術(shù)等的）復(fù)興，再生 renounce

vt.1.聲明放棄，拋棄 2.宣布中止 renovate

vt.修復(fù)，整修??如新，革新，更新 renown n.名望，聲譽(yù) repay

vt.1.歸還（款項(xiàng)）2.報(bào)答 3.報(bào)復(fù) repeal

vt.廢止，撤消 repel

vt.1.使厭惡

2.擊退，逐回，驅(qū)除 3.排斥

repercussion

n.[常pl.]（不良的）影響，反響，后果 repertoire

n.（劇團(tuán)、演員等的）全部節(jié)目，全部本領(lǐng)，全部功能 repression

n.壓抑，壓制，鎮(zhèn)壓 reprisal

n.報(bào)復(fù)，報(bào)復(fù)行動(dòng) reproach

n./vt.責(zé)備，批評 reptile n.爬行動(dòng)物

Reptiles’ Rule!

The remnant would not disappear.They hid underground, in the grasses, behind rocks and along the oceans.While there was only a small remainder and repression was constant, they all agreed that there would some day be a reprisal that would cause them to be more renowned than ever before.And they would relish that day when they were no longer seen as relics from the distant past.For reptiles were watching, and though there was a renaissance of interest in their ancestors, the dinosaurs, there would be repercussions where no remorse or mercy would be shown towards humans.The reptiles would someday rule the earth again!--------------------

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Over the years the reptiles’ repertoire of defenses against humans had grown.They could repel people with sounds and movements that created fear in humans that was reminiscent of the dinosaurs they all seemed to love.But the advancement of human culture was relentless and the day for repaying humans for taking over the world seemed further and further away.Some reptiles had even come to a certain reliance on humans.But other reptiles reproached these and told them that one day they would have to renounce the people they called their owners.So they all waited and looked forward to the day when they would renovate the world for reptiles again.And when the reptiles were big strong enough no other species would be able to repeal their rule!The dinosaur age would come again!爬行動(dòng)物的統(tǒng)治

殘留部分就是不消失。他們藏在地下、藏在草叢里、藏在巖石后面并且沿海也有。盡管剩下的數(shù)量很少，而且鎮(zhèn)壓不斷，他們都認(rèn)為總有一天會(huì)出現(xiàn)報(bào)復(fù)行為，而這種報(bào)復(fù)將使他們比以往任何時(shí)候都更有名氣，而且他們將從這一天獲得樂趣，因?yàn)榈侥菚r(shí)他們將不再被看成是遙遠(yuǎn)過去的遺跡。由于爬行動(dòng)物在觀看，盡管人們再次對他們的祖先恐龍產(chǎn)生了興趣，但是將來總會(huì)出現(xiàn)人類既不表示痛恨、也不表示憐憫的后果，終將有一天爬行動(dòng)物將重新統(tǒng)治地球！

多年來，爬行動(dòng)物對人類的全部防衛(wèi)能力已經(jīng)增加，他們能用使人類害怕的聲音和動(dòng)作讓他們感到厭惡，這種害怕會(huì)使他們想起他們似乎都很喜愛的恐龍。

但是人類文化的向前發(fā)展是毫不留情的，報(bào)復(fù)人類接管世界的那一天似乎越來越遙遠(yuǎn)。有些爬行動(dòng)物甚至對人類形成了某種依賴，但是其他爬行動(dòng)物卻批評并告訴他們說，有朝一日他們將不得不拋棄他們稱之為主人的人。因此他們都等待著盼望著這一天，到那時(shí)他們將再次為爬行動(dòng)物修復(fù)整個(gè)世界。等到爬行動(dòng)物長得夠壯夠大時(shí)，其他物種都將無法廢止他們的統(tǒng)治！恐龍時(shí)代將再次來臨！resemblance n.相似，形似 resent

vt.對??表示忿恨，怨恨 reside

vi.1.居住，定居 2.（in）（性質(zhì)等）存在，在于 residential

a.1.居住的，住宅的 2.（學(xué)生）寄宿的，（須）住宿在任所的 resonance

n.1.回聲，反響，洪亮 2.共鳴，共振 resultant

a.作為結(jié)果的，因而發(fā)生的 retaliate vi.報(bào)復(fù) retarded

a.智力遲鈍的，智力發(fā)育遲緩的 retention n.保留，保持 retort

n.反駁，回嘴 retrieve

vt.1.重新得到，取回，收回 2.挽回，補(bǔ)救 3.檢索

retrospect n.回顧

in retrospect 回想起來，事后看來 reunion

n.1.重聚，團(tuán)聚

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2.（久別后的）聚會(huì)，聯(lián)誼活動(dòng) revelation

n.1.被揭示的真相，（驚人的）新發(fā)現(xiàn) 2.揭示，透露，顯示 revenge n.報(bào)復(fù)，報(bào)仇

vt.為??報(bào)仇，報(bào)??之仇 revere

vt.尊崇，崇敬，敬畏 revision

n.1.修訂，修改，修正 2.修訂本，修訂版 3.復(fù)習(xí)，溫習(xí)revive vt.使復(fù)蘇 vi.恢復(fù) revoke

vt.撤銷，取消，廢除 revolve vt.旋轉(zhuǎn)

revolve around 以??為主要內(nèi)容 rhetoric

n.1.雄辯言辭，虛夸的言辭 2.修辭學(xué)

My Brother Mike

Marty resented his retarded brother Mike.Everyone revolved around Mike: whether he was okay, how he was doing, what he was feeling.People even thought there was a resemblance between Mike and Marty.Marty hated it.The rhetoric that his family always gave that Mike needed more attention because of his special needs was never enough to revoke his anger.And while Mike revered his older brother, Marty always wanted to retaliate with some act of revenge that he had to have a retarded brother.One day Marty decided he had had enough.During a family reunion in the rich residential area in which they resided Marty would push Mike into the retention pond behind their home as if it were an accident.Mike couldn’t swim and his resultant death would cause a resonance that would end all of Marty’s problems.In retrospect it had never been a good plan.When they pulled Mike from the pond they were able to revive him.Marty needed quick revision to his story that it was an accident when his cousin had the revelation that Marty did it.But Marty had no retort.His heart was like a revolving door with hatred and love constantly exchanging places.When Marty finally retrieved his composure he told the truth and wept.His retrospect thoughts told him that he loved Mike too.Everyone gathered around Marty and hugged him like he had never been hugged.Somehow they all understood.It wasn’t that they didn’t love Marty, but that they didn’t think Marty needed attention as much as Mike did.Everyone apologized and Marty’s life was different from that day on.He never hated his retarded brother Mike again.我的弟弟邁克

馬蒂很恨他的弱智弟弟邁克。每個(gè)人都圍著邁克轉(zhuǎn)：不管他是否有事、情況如何、感覺怎樣。大家甚至還認(rèn)為邁克和馬蒂長得很像，這讓馬蒂很不高興。家人經(jīng)常說的話就是邁克需要更多的照顧，因?yàn)樗男枰芴厥?，這種話怎么也消不了他心中的氣。雖然邁克很尊敬哥哥，馬蒂還是經(jīng)常想用各種報(bào)復(fù)行為報(bào)復(fù)一下，因?yàn)樗匏羞@么個(gè)弱智弟弟。

一天，馬蒂覺得他受夠了。那天他們正在他們居住的豪華住宅區(qū)舉行家庭聚會(huì)，馬蒂想邁克推到他們家后面的保留池塘，就好象那是一次意外。邁克不會(huì)游泳，他因此而發(fā)生的死亡將引起一種反響，這樣馬蒂的問題就全解決了?；叵肫饋恚@根本就不是一個(gè)錦囊妙計(jì)。

他們把邁克從池塘里拉出來的時(shí)候還真救活了他。表兄透露是馬蒂干的，這時(shí)馬蒂就得趕快修改他那“是個(gè)以外”的故事。但是馬蒂?zèng)]有反駁，他的心像一個(gè)旋轉(zhuǎn)門一樣愛與恨不斷地交替出現(xiàn)。當(dāng)馬蒂終于恢復(fù)鎮(zhèn)靜的時(shí)--------------------

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候，他說出了真相并流下了眼淚?；叵肫疬^去的一切，他發(fā)現(xiàn)他也愛邁克。

大家圍在馬蒂身邊逼供內(nèi)擁抱了他，就好象馬蒂從來沒有被擁抱過。不管怎樣他們都表示了理解，原來并不是他們不愛馬蒂，而是他們沒有想到馬蒂和邁克一樣需要關(guān)心。大家都表示了歉意，從那天起，馬蒂的生活發(fā)生了變化，他再也不恨他的弱智弟弟邁克了。rhyme

n.1.韻，押韻

2.同韻詞，押韻詞 vi.押韻，用韻

vt.使成韻，用??押韻 riddle

n.1.謎（語）

2.猜不透的難題，難解之迷 3.粗篩，格篩

vt.1.（用粗篩）篩

2.把??打得滿是窟窿，把??弄得處處穿孔 rig

vt.1.（用不正當(dāng)手段）操縱，壟斷 2.給（船、桅桿）裝配帆及索具 3.(up)用臨時(shí)替代材料迅速搭起 n.1.船桅（或船帆等）的裝置 2.成套器械 rigorous

a.1.嚴(yán)密的，縝密的 2.嚴(yán)格的，嚴(yán)厲的 rim

n.（圓形物體的）邊，緣

vt.環(huán)繞（圓形或環(huán)形物的）邊緣 rinse

v.1.漂洗，沖洗

2.用清水漂洗掉（肥皂沫等）n.1.漂洗，沖洗 2.染發(fā)劑 rip

v.扯破，撕壞 n.裂口，裂縫 rip into

猛攻，猛擊 ripple

v.1.輕輕蕩漾

2.（使）泛起漣漪 n.漣漪，波紋 ritual

n.1.（宗教等的）儀式 2.例行公事，老規(guī)矩 a.1.作為儀式一部分的 2.例行的 rivalry

n.競爭，競賽，對抗 roam

v.隨便走，漫步，漫游 robe

n.1.長袍，禮服，法衣 2.睡袍，浴衣

v.（使）穿上長袍（或浴衣等）robust

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a.強(qiáng)壯的，健康的 romance

n.1.戀愛，戀愛關(guān)系 2.浪漫氣憤，傳奇色彩 3.愛情小說，傳奇故事 rot

v.（使）腐爛，（使）腐朽 n.腐爛，腐朽 rotary

a.旋轉(zhuǎn)的，轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)的 rouge n.胭脂

vt.用胭脂擦 roundabout

n.1.繞行線路，繞道，環(huán)狀交叉路 2.旋轉(zhuǎn)木馬

a.繞道的，繞圈子的，不直截了當(dāng)?shù)?royalty

n.1.王族（成員）

2.[常pl.]（著作的）版稅 ruby

n.紅寶石，紅寶石色 ruffle

v.1.弄皺，弄亂 2.激怒，擾亂 n.褶裥飾邊

A Rivalry of Laughter

The rivalry between the two princes was rigorous.If it was not who could tell the best riddles, it was who could make the best rhymes.The royalty was never as happy as when the two boys competed with their jokes in the roundabout where they all gathered.Everyone would ripple with laughter as the boys ripped into each other with their robust humor as they roamed the room like attacking lions.Each ritual competition would begin with the boys each wearing an oversized robe, one of the color rouge and one of blue.That the ruffles of the robes were rotting from overuse never mattered.They were only rinsed once from the previous day.One day, however, the royalty’s romance with the rivalry between the princes reached new heights.This happened with one of the prices brought in a rig of rotary devices to use against the jokes of his brother.When the other prince touched its rim his hair stood straight up from the electric current produced by the rubies in the device.The royalty all fell to the ground laughing as the second prince screamed in surprise.Their laughter stopped suddenly however when they realized that the screams were not of pleasure but of pain.When the device was finally turned off the prince was dead.He had been electrocuted.The first prince, in such grief that his joke had been deadly, turned the rig back on and grabbed the rim himself.He died as well.That castle was soon abandoned and no one ever heard a laugh from it again.帶來笑聲的比賽

兩個(gè)王子之間的比賽很嚴(yán)格。他倆不是比猜謎語，就是比押韻。王族成員只有在兩個(gè)男孩坐在旋轉(zhuǎn)木馬上、他們圍在周圍看他們比賽說笑話的時(shí)候才是最高興的。兩個(gè)孩子一邊像進(jìn)攻的獅子一樣在屋子里漫游一邊用強(qiáng)有力的幽默猛攻對方，大家的笑聲在周圍蕩漾。

每次例行的比賽開始的時(shí)候，兩個(gè)男孩都穿著對他們來說尺寸太大的長袍，一個(gè)胭脂紅色，另一個(gè)是藍(lán)色。長袍的褶裥飾邊由于使用太久而有些破爛，但這沒有關(guān)系，它們只是在前一天用過之后才漂洗一次。

然而有一天，王子之間的比賽帶給王族成員的傳奇故事達(dá)到了新的頂峰。事情是這樣的，一個(gè)王子拿了一套旋轉(zhuǎn)裝置來，他要用他對付他哥哥的笑話。當(dāng)另外一個(gè)王子觸到他的邊緣的時(shí)候，裝置中的紅寶石產(chǎn)生的電流使他的頭發(fā)豎了起來，王子吃驚地尖叫起來，王族成員倒在地上笑成一團(tuán)。

但是他們的笑聲突然停止了，因?yàn)樗麄儼l(fā)現(xiàn)尖叫聲不是因?yàn)楦吲d而是因?yàn)橥纯?。等到他們終于把裝置關(guān)上時(shí)，--------------------

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王子已經(jīng)死了。他是被電死的。第一個(gè)王子因自己的玩笑弄出人命傷心極了，他把裝置重新打開并伸手抓住邊緣。他也被電死了。

那座城堡很快就變得空無一人，人們再也聽不到發(fā)自里面的笑聲了。rugby n.橄欖球 rumble

vi.1.發(fā)隆隆聲，發(fā)轆轆聲 2.隆隆地行進(jìn)，發(fā)轆轆聲行進(jìn) 3.鬧嚷，使人不得安寧 vt.察覺，看穿，識破 n.隆隆聲，轆轆聲 rummage

vi./n.翻找，搜尋 runway

n.（機(jī)場的）跑道 rupture

n.1.破裂，裂開

2.（關(guān)系的）決裂，斷絕 v.（使）破裂 rustle

vi.沙沙作響，發(fā)出瑟瑟聲 vt.1.使沙沙作響 2.偷盜（牛、馬等）n.沙沙聲，簌簌聲 rustle up

湊集到，草草弄好 rut

n.車轍，槽，凹痕 in a rut

墨守成規(guī)，一成不變 ruthless

a.1.無情的，冷酷的，殘忍的 2.堅(jiān)決的，徹底的 sabotage

vt.1.陰謀破壞，蓄意破壞 2.暗中破壞，搗亂

n.陰謀破壞，蓄意破壞 sacred a.1.神圣的

2.宗教（性）的 3.神圣不可侵犯的 safeguard vt.保護(hù)，維護(hù)

n.預(yù)防措施，保證條款 sag

n.1.下垂，下彎，下陷 2.消沉，下降 salmon n.大麻哈魚 salon

n.1.（營業(yè)性的）店，廳，院 2.（大宅中的）客廳，會(huì)客室 3.沙龍 saloon

n.1.酒館，酒吧間

2.小轎車，箱式小客車

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3.（作特殊用途的）廳，室 salute

vt.1.向??敬禮，向??致意 2.贊揚(yáng)，頌揚(yáng) vi.敬禮，致意 n.敬禮，致意 salvage

vt.搶救，營救 salvation n.1.拯救，解救 2.解救措施 sandal n.涼鞋 sane

a.1.心志健全的，神志正常的 2.清醒的，明智的，合情合理的 sanitation

n.公共衛(wèi)生，衛(wèi)生設(shè)施

My Salvation: Rugby

There aren’t many safeguards in rugby, especially when there is a game between two ruthless teams.This is always clear when the workers from the sanitation department play the workers from the runway crew.No one in their sane mind would join this game, but each team loved to rumble and they always rustled up enough players to keep the excitement in the game from sagging.I had been in a rut in my life recently and was looking for something different.So when the runway crew chief met me in a saloon, told me about the game and invited me to play I quickly returned home, took off my sandals and rummaged around until I had found more appropriate shoes.Arriving at the field to play I was told the rules of the sacred game.After each team saluted the other we began.I have never played such a rough game before: the rustle of men running across the field, the sound of them digging a rut with their shoes to hold their ground, the ruptured muscles that reminded me I was out of shape.Everything felt like I had found my salvation from the boring life I was leading.After salvaging our pride from losing because of one play where a clever player sabotaged us, I walked with both team to the edge of the field.Beautiful women who looked like they were fresh from the beauty salon greeted us with plates full of freshly cooked salmon and beer.The rut I was in was definitely over.我的解救措施：橄欖球

在橄欖球比賽當(dāng)中沒有太多的預(yù)防措施，尤其是在比賽雙方都不講情面的時(shí)候。衛(wèi)生部門的人和管理機(jī)場跑道的工作人員比賽時(shí)這一點(diǎn)總是很清楚。一個(gè)神志正常的人是不會(huì)參加這種比賽的，但是每個(gè)隊(duì)都喜歡吵吵嚷嚷并且他們還經(jīng)常能湊齊一批隊(duì)員使比賽激動(dòng)人心的感覺有增無減。

我最近生活中有點(diǎn)一成不變，我正想尋找一些不同的東西，因此當(dāng)跑道隊(duì)的隊(duì)長在一家沙龍遇到我、跟我談起比賽并邀請我加入的時(shí)候，我很快回到家里、脫掉涼鞋、四處翻找，直到我找到更加合適的鞋。

來到比賽場地，他們給我說了這場神圣的比賽的規(guī)則。雙方互相敬禮之后比賽開始了。我以前從來沒有打過這么艱難的比賽：隊(duì)員跑過賽場時(shí)的沙沙聲、為了站穩(wěn)腳步鞋子在地上留下凹痕的聲音、提醒我我已經(jīng)受傷的裂開的肌肉，每件事都讓我覺得我已經(jīng)找到辦法把自己從枯燥的生活中解救出來。

由于一名聰明的隊(duì)員在比賽中暗中搗亂，我們因此獲救而沒有失去自尊，之后我和雙方隊(duì)員一起來到場邊?？瓷先ゾ拖駝倧拿廊莸瓿鰜淼钠僚顺覀冏邅?，她們手里舉著裝滿了新做的大麻哈魚和啤酒的盤子。我過去那種墨守成規(guī)的生活徹底地結(jié)束了。sarcastic

a.諷刺的，嘲笑的，挖苦的 satire

n.1.諷刺，譏諷 2.諷刺作品 saturate

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vt.1.使?jié)裢?，浸?2.使充滿，使飽和 saucepan

n.（有蓋和長柄的）深底平鍋 savage

a.1.殘暴的，兇猛的，粗魯?shù)?2.未開化的，野蠻的 n.野蠻人，粗魯?shù)娜?vt.1.（狗等）亂咬 2.激烈抨擊 savor

vt.品嘗，欣賞

n.1.味道，滋味，風(fēng)味 2.情趣，趣味，吸引力 savour 見savor scant

a.不足的，貧乏的 scar

n.1.傷疤，傷痕 2.（精神上的）創(chuàng)傷

v.（給??）留下傷痕（或創(chuàng)傷）scarf

n.圍巾，披巾，薄頭巾 scent

n.1.香味，氣味 2.臭跡，蹤跡，線索 3.香水 vt.1.嗅到 2.察覺 sceptical 見skeptical scoff

vi.(at)嘲弄，嘲笑，譏笑 scoop

n.1.勺子，圓形小勺，小鏟 2.一勺的量

3.搶先報(bào)道的新聞，獨(dú)家新聞 vt.1.用勺舀 2.搶先報(bào)道 scorn

n.輕蔑，鄙視 vt.1.輕蔑，鄙視 2.拒絕，不屑（做）scour

vt.1.四處搜索，細(xì)查 2.洗滌，擦凈 3.沖刷，沖刷成 scowl

vi.(at)生氣地皺眉，沉下臉，怒視 n.怒容，陰沉的臉色 scramble vt.1.攀登，爬 2.爭奪，搶奪 vt.擾亂，搞亂 n.1.攀登，爬行

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2.爭奪，搶奪 scrap

n.1.碎片，碎屑 2.廢金屬

3.[pl.]殘羹剩飯 4.少量，點(diǎn)滴 vt.廢棄，拋棄 screech

vi.1.尖叫，尖聲喊 2.發(fā)出尖銳刺耳的聲音 vt.尖聲喊叫出

n.尖叫，尖銳刺耳的聲音 scrub

vi.用力擦洗

vt.1.用力擦洗，把??擦凈 2.取消（計(jì)劃等）n.矮樹叢，灌木叢 scrutiny

n.1.詳細(xì)檢查，仔細(xì)觀察 2.監(jiān)視，監(jiān)督 sculpture n.1.雕刻（術(shù)），雕塑（術(shù)）2.雕刻作品，雕塑品

A Problem with Orphans

A gang of orphans scoured the city for scraps to live on.Their findings were scant but enough to savor and survive.It was a savage life and as their numbers grew, so did the scrutiny given to them by the people they encountered.Whereas they had been greeted often with sarcastic comments in the early days, now they were mostly scoffed at, scorned by restaurant owners and greeted with scowls.The orphans had to scramble more than ever to keep from being caught.When it became obvious that the city was saturated with orphans, city officials decided something needed to be done.Not wanting to create a satire, however, they decided that they would collect the orphans, scrub them clean, and give them new homes.Saucepans and scarves were collected as the first gifts to give to each orphan.When the roundup began most of the orphans were near a sculpture in the city that they treated as their home base.They screeched and ran when they saw the large number of police coming for them.They were all caught.The newspaper scoop of the day was an image of one particularly scarred orphan being washed three times to get rid of the scent of the city sewers.And because of the positive efforts of the city officials everyone became friendly towards the orphans and all were placed in homes with people who would love them as if they were their own children.孤兒問題

一群孤兒在城里四處搜索殘羹剩飯混時(shí)度日。他們找到的東西不多但足夠品嘗和維持生命。這是一種野蠻人的生活，而且隨著他們?nèi)藬?shù)的增加，他們碰到的人給予他們的監(jiān)視也在增加。最早的時(shí)候，人們總是用諷刺的話跟他們打招呼，現(xiàn)在卻主要被飯店老板嘲笑和鄙視，他們打招呼時(shí)會(huì)陰沉著臉。孤兒們得比以前更加能夠會(huì)搶會(huì)跑才會(huì)不被抓住。

很顯然城里的孤兒已經(jīng)人滿為患，這時(shí)市政府的官員們認(rèn)為應(yīng)該采取點(diǎn)措施。然而，他們不想人覺得這是個(gè)諷刺，所以決定把孤兒們聚到一起，把他們擦洗干凈，給他們提供新家。他們搜集了許多深底平鍋和圍巾作為送給每個(gè)孤兒的第一份禮物。

這次聚攏開始的時(shí)候，大部分孤兒正在一個(gè)被他們視為大本營的市雕附近。看到大批警察向他們走過來，他們尖叫著撒腿就跑，但是都被抓住了。

當(dāng)天報(bào)紙的獨(dú)家新聞刊登了一個(gè)身上帶疤的孤兒的照片，照片上說他被洗了三次以去掉他身上城市污水管道的氣味。由于市政府官員的積極努力，每個(gè)人都對孤兒們變得友好起來，所有孤兒都被家庭領(lǐng)養(yǎng)了，這些家庭愿意像愛親生孩子那樣愛他們。seam

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n.1.縫，接縫 2.煤層

sediment

n.沉淀，沉渣，沉積（物）seduce vt.1.勾引

2.引誘，誘使，唆使 seemingly

ad.表面上，看上去 seethe

vi.1.擁擠，云集，充滿 2.發(fā)怒，激動(dòng)，騷動(dòng) segregate

vt.使隔離，使分開 sensation

n.1.（感官的）感覺能力 2.感覺，知覺

3.轟動(dòng)，引起轟動(dòng)的事件（或人物）sentiment n.1.意見，觀點(diǎn) 2.感情，情緒 sentry

n.哨兵，警衛(wèi) serene

a.1.安詳?shù)?，寧靜的 2.平靜的 sergeant n.中士，警官 serial

n.連續(xù)劇，連載故事 a.連續(xù)的，順序排列的 sermon

n.1.布道，講道

2.說教，令人厭煩的冗長講話 setback

n.挫折，倒退，失敗 shabby a.1.破舊的 2.衣衫襤褸的

3.卑鄙的，不公正的 shack

n.簡陋木屋，棚屋 shaft

n.1.柄，桿

2.（光的）束，光線 3.軸 4.豎井，（電梯的）升降井 shampoo n.1.洗發(fā)劑，（地毯等的）洗滌劑 2.用洗發(fā)劑洗頭，用洗滌劑洗地毯 vt.用洗發(fā)劑洗（頭），用洗滌劑洗（地毯等）shark n.1.鯊魚

2.勒索者，詐騙者，放高利貸的人 shatter

vt.1.使粉碎，砸碎

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2.使破滅，使震驚 vi.碎裂

Hiding in a Shack

He was not a serial killer, but his life was shattered by the accusation.Now he was on the run and seething with anger.His hiding place was a shack in the woods that only had a small opening in the roof where a shaft of light would come through in the evenings.The water he drank was from a well filled with sediment.They were shabby conditions.But he was determined to survive this setback no matter how long it took.One day he snuck out to see if sentiment had changed against him.After sneaking past the sentries and the sergeant monitoring them on the edge of town he was able to slip into a seemingly serene church where the men and women were segregated to separate areas of the church.After hearing a sermon that called for his capture, however, he had a sinking sensation that these accusations were never going to go away by themselves.He had to do something to clear his name.After leaving through the broken seam of one of the curtains at the back of the church he went to a small house and looked into the windows.A woman was in the shower shampooing her hair.He had the desire to seduce her ,but knew this would only add to the public image of him as a shark preying on helpless people.When he made a noise, however, and the woman screamed, he had to run away back into hiding again.Now was not the time, he decided.He would have to wait longer before coming out again to try to clear his name.藏在棚屋里

他不是一個(gè)連續(xù)殺人犯，但是他的生活被這次指控給毀了?，F(xiàn)在他在逃亡，他充滿了憤怒。他的窩藏地點(diǎn)是個(gè)樹林里的棚屋，屋里只有屋頂有個(gè)小口子，到了晚上會(huì)有一束光射進(jìn)來。他喝的水來自一口水井，水里盡是沉淀物。條件是夠差的了，但是他已下定決心，無論多久他都要從這次失敗中活下來。

一天，他溜出來看人們的情緒是否已經(jīng)變得對他不利。從警衛(wèi)及在城市邊上監(jiān)視他們的警官面前溜過去之后，他悄悄地進(jìn)入一家看上去寧靜的教堂。教堂里男女分開坐在不同的地方，但在聽到布道里說要大家捉拿他之后，他沮喪地感覺到對他的指控決不會(huì)自行消失，他得做點(diǎn)什么還自己一個(gè)清白。

從教堂后面一個(gè)窗簾的一條破縫里鉆出來之后，他來到了一座小屋并從窗戶往里看。一個(gè)女人正在淋浴間用洗發(fā)劑洗頭發(fā)。他有一種想勾引她的欲望，但他知道這樣做會(huì)使他在公眾心目中的形象更加成為一個(gè)劫掠無助者的詐騙者。但是，他弄出了響聲，女人尖叫著，他只得又跑回窩藏地點(diǎn)躲起來。他想現(xiàn)在還不是時(shí)候。他還得等一段時(shí)間才能再次出來為自己洗清罪名。shawl

n.（長）方形披巾（或披肩）shear

vt.1.剪（羊毛、頭發(fā)等）2.使折斷，使彎曲

n.[pl.]（剪羊毛、樹枝等的）大剪刀 shepherd n.牧羊人，羊倌 vt.1.牧（羊）2.帶領(lǐng)，引導(dǎo) shipment n.1.裝運(yùn)，裝船

2.裝載（或運(yùn)輸）的貨物 shipyard n.造船廠 shit

n.1.糞便，屎 2.垃圾，廢物

3.胡說八道，蠢話

4.討厭的人，可鄙的人

int.（表示厭惡，惱怒，驚奇，失望等）呸！放屁！Shorthand n.速記法，速記 shove

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vt.1.亂推，擠 2.亂塞，隨意放 vi.用力推，擠 n.猛推

shove off 動(dòng)身，離開 shovel n.1.鏟

2.單斗挖掘機(jī) vi.鏟

vt.1.鏟，鏟起

2.(into)把??大量投入 shred

n.1.碎片，細(xì)條，破布 2.些許，少量 v.1.撕碎，切碎

2.用撕毀機(jī)撕毀（文件）shrewd

a.機(jī)靈的，敏銳的，精明的 shrimp

n.1.蝦，小蝦 2.矮小的人 shrine

n.圣地，圣壇，神圣場所 shroud

n.1.裹尸布，壽衣 2.遮蔽物，罩，幕 vt.覆蓋，遮蔽，隱藏 shrub n.灌木 shudder

v.1.顫栗，發(fā)抖，打顫

2.（機(jī)器，車輛等）突然震動(dòng)，顫動(dòng) n.顫動(dòng)，打顫，顫栗 shun

vt.避開，回避，避免 shutter n.1.百葉窗

2.（照相機(jī)的）快門 shuttle

n.1.短程穿梭運(yùn)行的飛機(jī)（或火車、汽車）2.航天飛機(jī)

3.（織機(jī)的）梭子 vi.穿梭般來回 vt.短程穿梭運(yùn)送 siege

n.包圍，圍困 sieve

n.篩子，漏勺 vt.篩，濾

A Shepherd’s Wife

As she watched her husband shove off on the ship bound for another country she shuddered because she knew it would be many years before she would see him again.Now she would have to shepherd their sheep, shovel their shit, and shuttle to market every day all by herself if she wanted to survive.Her neighbors would shun her and she would have to be shrewd in all of her business dealings.--------------------

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第二篇：幽默的小故事幫您輕松掌握六級單詞庫

讀故事記單詞（六級）

abbreviation

n.縮寫, 縮寫詞 abide

vt.容忍 abide by 遵守，履行 abnormal a.反常的，異常的 abolish

vt.廢止, 廢除(法律、制度、習(xí)俗等)abortion n.流產(chǎn), 墮胎 abound vi.1.大量存在

2.（in,with）充滿 ,富于 abreast ad.并列，并排 keep abreast of

與??齊頭并進(jìn)，了解??的最新情況 abrupt

a.1.突然的,意外的

2.（舉止、言談等）唐突的，魯莽的 abstain vi.1.棄權(quán) 2.（from）戒除 absurd

a.荒謬的，荒唐的 abundance n.大量，豐富，充足 in abundance 充足，豐富 accessory

n.1.附件，零件，配件

2.[常pl.]（婦女手提包之類的）裝飾品 3.同謀，幫兇，包庇犯 acclaim

vt.向??歡呼，為??喝彩 n.稱贊，歡迎 accommodate vt.1.容納

2.向??提供住處（或膳宿）3.使適應(yīng)，順應(yīng) accomplice n.共犯，從犯 accountable a.負(fù)有責(zé)任的 ace

n.1.（紙牌等中的）幺點(diǎn)，“A”牌 2.（網(wǎng)球等比賽中）發(fā)球得分 3.（在某方面的）佼佼者 a.第一流的，杰出的 acoustic

a.1.聽覺的，聲音的 2.（樂器）原聲的 acquaint

vt.（with）使認(rèn)識，使了解，使熟悉 acquit vt.1.宣判??無罪

2.（oneself）使（自己）作出某種表現(xiàn) activate vt.使活動(dòng)起來，使開始起作用

Accommodating a Pregnancy

Xiaomin never thought abortion was a big deal.As he became acquainted with American politics , however , he realized you have to work hard to keep abreast of changing values to truly understand how absurdly controversial this issue has become.He found out from his American friends that opinions are in abundance of how to teach people to be accountable for their actions, how to make people abide by Family Planning laws, and even how to teach people just to abstain from sex.The significance of this issue became abruptly clear when Xiaomin's best friend, Jeff, got his girlfriend pregnant.Jeff was an acclaimed graduate student who was living an abnormal life from other Americans just by attending a Chinese university to get his Ph.D.(Ph.D.is an abbreviation for Doctor of Philosophy, the highest degree available in a university).Jeff was also an ace soccer player and acoustic guitar player.There was also alway an abundance of women around him.This is how he met Sarah.When Sarah became pregnant with Jeff, his friends suddenly treated him as if he was an accessory to murder.Jeff also felt as if he needed to be acquitted of some crime.But he decided in the end that he and his accomplice, Sarah, would keep the baby.According to Jeff and Sarah, the life of their child was more important than their career.Xiaomin was amazed.Keeping the child would abolish any chance of a successful career for Jeff.And in Xiaomin's eyes, one could activate the process for an abortion with a simple visit to the doctor even though there might be lines, three people abreast.But Jeff and Sarah were firm in their decision and Xiaomin had to abide his friends' decision.Life abounded in surprises.Now Jeff and Sarah were leaving school and returning to the United States.They would do everying they could to accommodate themselves to their new situation.選擇生孩子

小民從來沒想過流產(chǎn)是個(gè)大事。但是，當(dāng)他了解美國政治之后，他認(rèn)識到得下很大的工夫才能一直了解不斷變化著的價(jià)值觀念，真正理解關(guān)于這個(gè)問題的爭議是多么的荒唐可笑。他從美國朋友身上發(fā)現(xiàn)人們對許多問題的看法是很豐富的，如怎樣教人們對自己的行為負(fù)責(zé)、如何使人們遵守計(jì)劃生育的法律規(guī)定、甚至如何教人們節(jié)制性生活。小民最要好的朋友杰夫使女朋友懷孕了，這件事情使上述問題的重要性突然變得清楚了。

杰夫是位頗受贊揚(yáng)的研究生，他的生活和其他美國人相比是有些反常，因?yàn)樗谝凰袊髮W(xué)里讀博士學(xué)位（Ph.D.是Doctor of Philosorhy的縮寫，是大學(xué)里能夠獲得的最高學(xué)位）。杰夫還是一名優(yōu)秀的足球運(yùn)動(dòng)員和原聲吉他手，他身邊總是有一大堆女人圍著他，他就是這樣和薩拉相識的。

杰夫使薩拉懷孕后，他的朋友突然把他當(dāng)作是謀殺同謀。杰夫也覺得好象有必要判他有罪，但最終決定他和他的共犯薩拉將生下這個(gè)孩子。杰夫和薩拉認(rèn)為，孩子的生命比他們的事業(yè)更重要。小民感到很吃驚，因?yàn)橐@個(gè)孩子將徹底毀杰夫在事業(yè)上取得成功的機(jī)會(huì)。在小民看來，你只要去一趟醫(yī)生那里，整個(gè)流產(chǎn)過程就會(huì)啟動(dòng)，盡管可能要排隊(duì)，三個(gè)人并列而行。

但是杰夫和薩拉的態(tài)度很堅(jiān)決，小民只好接受朋友們的決定。生活充滿了出人意料的事情?，F(xiàn)在杰夫和薩拉正打算退學(xué)回美國，他們會(huì)盡全力使自己適應(yīng)他們的新生活。WORD affluent

a.富裕的，富足的 aftermath n.后果，余波 aggravate vt.1.加重 2.激怒，使惱火 aggregate n.總數(shù)，合計(jì) a.總計(jì)的，合計(jì) vt.1.總計(jì)達(dá)，合計(jì) 2.使聚集，使積聚 in the aggregate 總共，作為總體 agitate

vi.（for,against）煽動(dòng)，鼓動(dòng) vt.1.攪動(dòng)，搖動(dòng) 2.使焦慮不安 agony

n.（極度的）痛苦，創(chuàng)痛 agreeable

a.1.令人愉快的，愜意的 2.（欣然）同意的，樂意的 aide

n.助手，副官 ailment n.小病，疾病 air-conditioning n.空調(diào)設(shè)備，空調(diào)系統(tǒng) aisle n.過道，通道 album

n.粘貼簿，集郵簿，像冊 alcoholic a.1.酒精的，含酒精的 2.由酒精引起的 n.酗酒者 alien

a.1.外國的，外國人的 2.陌生的

3.性質(zhì)不同的，不相容的 n.1.外國人，外僑 2.外星人 alienate

vt.1.使疏遠(yuǎn)，使不友好，離間 2.轉(zhuǎn)讓，讓渡（財(cái)產(chǎn)等）allege

vt.斷言，宣稱，硬說 alleviate

vt.減輕，緩解，緩和 alley n.小巷，胡同 allot

vt.分配，撥出 alloy n.合金

vt.將??鑄成合金 allude

vi.（to）暗指，提及 A Hungry Alien

When an alcoholic man dressed in dirty clothes and stinking of beer first alleged that an alien had landed in an alley behind a restaurant frequented by the affluent, no one listened to him.Photos from the aftermath filled 10 photo albums.In the begining, as he rushed down the center aisle of the pleasantly air-conditioned room, the alcoholic wasn't able to successfully agitate anybody.It was as if they were only looking at his appearance and not listening to his words.When he did finally find someone agreeable to come outside and see what he said had happened, he was completely alienated to see that the creature was no longer there.Now that he had aggravated so many rich people, he was sure that he would leave the room in agony.His fears were alleviated, however, when the alien broke through a window into the restaurant, somehow knowingly coming to the aide of the alcoholic.When all the people realized that the alien that the alcoholic had alluded to was really there and composed of an aggregate of unknown alloy not affected by normal bullets, they screamed and ran around leaving no chance for anyone to allot a route of escape.They behaved, in the aggregate, as if no one in the world could relieve them of this alien ailment.And they were right.None of the outside help that came could stop the alien from eating everyone in the restaurant.饑餓的外星人

當(dāng)一個(gè)穿著臟衣服、滿口啤酒味的酗酒男人宣稱有外星人在一家富人經(jīng)常光顧的酒店后面的一個(gè)胡同里降落時(shí)，沒有人聽他的話。事后的照片裝滿了10個(gè)影集。起初，當(dāng)他從舒服的空調(diào)房間的中心過道沖進(jìn)去的時(shí)候，這位酗酒者沒能成功地鼓動(dòng)起任何人。大家好象只在看他的樣子，沒有注意聽他在說什么。當(dāng)他終于找到一個(gè)人愿意出來看一看時(shí)，他完全成了孤家寡人，因?yàn)槟菛|西已經(jīng)不見了。由于激怒了那么多的有錢人，他清楚他不得不痛苦地離開那里。但是，很快他的恐懼得到了緩解，因?yàn)檫@時(shí)外星人破窗而入，好象知道要當(dāng)酗酒者的助手似的。當(dāng)大家明白酗酒者提到的外星人確實(shí)存在而且總體上是由一種不知名的、普通子彈打不穿的合金構(gòu)成的時(shí)候，他們尖叫著四處亂跑，竟沒有留出一條出路，結(jié)果誰也沒有機(jī)會(huì)逃出去。他們的行為總的來說就好象世界上沒有人能把他們從這種性質(zhì)不同的疾病中解救出來。他們的感覺是對的，因?yàn)槿魏瓮鈦淼脑紱]能阻止外星人吃掉酒店里的每一個(gè)人。WORDS allure

n.誘惑力，魅力 vt.誘惑，引誘，吸引 almighty

a.1.全能的，萬能的 2.很大的，很強(qiáng)的 alternate

a.1.交替的，輪流的；供選擇的 2.間隔的

v.（使）輪流，（使）交替 amass vt.積累，積聚 ambiguous

a.引起歧義的，模棱兩可的，含糊不清的 ambitious

a.1.有抱負(fù)的，雄心勃勃的 2.有野心的 amend

vt.修改，修訂，改進(jìn) n.[pl.]賠罪，賠償 amiable

a.和藹可親的，友好的 ammunition n.彈藥，軍火 ample

a.1.足夠的 2.寬敞的，面積大的 amplify

vt.1.放大（聲音等），增強(qiáng) 2.擴(kuò)大，詳述，進(jìn)一步闡述 analogy

n.比擬，類比，類推 by analogy 用類推的方法 analyst

n.1.分析家，化驗(yàn)員 2.心理分析學(xué)家 analytic 見analytical analytical

a.分析的，分析法的 anarchist n.無政府主義者 ancestry n.祖先，世系 anecdote n.軼事，趣聞 angel n.1.天使 2.可愛的人 anguish

n.（精神或肉體的）極度痛苦 annex vt.兼并，吞并 n.附屬建筑物

It had been an ambitious plan.The anarchist had tried to rob a bank all by himself, but then he had ran out of ammunition and now he was trapped in a back portion of the bank building with no escape.As he stood in silence, hugging his gun and waiting to be found, the anarchist knew that there would be ample anecdotes from newspaper analysts the next day to amend to his obituary.They would certainly refer to the anguish he had undergone as a child.Then they would employ all their analytical abilities to reveal other impacts of his ancestry on his ambiguous life.These thoughts flew from his mind however when an angel suddenly appeared to him.He fell to his knees, sure that the Almighty God was coming to take him home.His fears were only amplified when the angel said in an alluring yet powerful voice, “Fear out, your time is short.Stop your goal to amass a foutune for yourself and turn to God.”

Not having any analogy to help him know what to say, or any reference for his excellent analytic abilities to think about, the anarchist only kneeled in silence and empty thought.Then the angel smiled and spoke again in a more amiable voice, “Stand up.The Lord is providing you a chance to lead an alternate life.Leave this place now through the rear buildings annex and you will escape.But remember, God is watching.”

When the angel was gone the anarchist stood and ran.He had no idea how to describe this experience by analogy, but he was happy for a second chance.第二次機(jī)會(huì)

這是一個(gè)野心勃勃的計(jì)劃，這名無政府主義者想自己一個(gè)人搶劫銀行，但后來他沒了彈藥，被困在銀行大樓的后面無處可逃。

他靜靜地站著，緊緊地抱著槍，等著被發(fā)現(xiàn)，這時(shí)無政府主義者知道，第二天將有足夠的報(bào)紙分析家撰寫的軼事修改他的訃告。他們肯定會(huì)提到他小時(shí)侯經(jīng)歷的極度痛苦，然后運(yùn)用他們所有的分析能力揭示他的祖先對他的含糊不清的生活方式的影響。

當(dāng)這些想法在他的腦海里閃現(xiàn)，然而這時(shí)突然出現(xiàn)了一個(gè)天使。他跪下來，心想肯定是萬能的上帝要抓他回去。天使的聲音具有誘惑力和威懾力，這更增加了他的恐懼。“別害怕，你的時(shí)間不多了，別再為自己積累財(cái)富了，仰賴上帝吧。”

由于沒有任何類比可以幫他知道該說什么，也沒有任何參考供他優(yōu)秀的分析能力進(jìn)行思考，這名無政府主義者只能靜靜地跪著，腦子一片空白。

這時(shí)天使笑了，并且用更加友好的聲音說道：“起來吧！上帝正給你一次機(jī)會(huì)讓你過一種供選擇的生活，現(xiàn)在你就穿過后面建筑物的附屬建筑，離開這個(gè)地方，你會(huì)逃走的。但是記住，上帝在看著你?！?/p>

天使消失后，無政府主義者站起來跑掉了。他不知道如何用類推的方法描述這次經(jīng)歷，但是他很高興能有第二次機(jī)會(huì)。WORD activist

n.（政治活動(dòng)的）積極分子，活動(dòng)家 addict n.1.有癮的人

2.入迷的人

vt.使成癮，使入迷 additive n.添加劑 adhere

vi.1.(to)粘附，附著

2.遵守，堅(jiān)持

3.追隨，支持 adhesive n.粘合劑

a.可粘著的，粘性的 adjacent a.(to)鄰近的，毗連的 adjoin

vt.貼近，與...毗連 adjourn

v.(使)休會(huì)，(使)休庭 administer

vt.1.掌管，料理...的事務(wù)

2.施行，實(shí)施

3.給予，派給，投(藥)admiral

n.海軍將領(lǐng)，艦隊(duì)司令 adolescent n.青少年

a.青春期的，青少年的 adore

vt.1.崇拜，敬慕，愛慕

2.非常喜歡 adorn vt.裝飾，使生色 advent n.出現(xiàn)，到來 adversary n.對手，敵手 adverse a.不利的，有害的 aerial

a.1.飛機(jī)的，航空的，由飛機(jī)進(jìn)行的2.空中的，架空的 n.天線 aesthetic a.美學(xué)的, 審美的, 有審美感的 affiliate vt.使隸屬于

n.附屬機(jī)構(gòu)，分公司 affirm

vt.1.斷言，堅(jiān)持聲稱 2.證實(shí)，確認(rèn) afflict vt.使苦惱，折磨 A Change of Heart

The anti-war activist was not surprised at all that his primary adversay,the Admiral,had been afflicted with a drug addict for a son.He was actually quite happy to find out that his enemy had such personal problems.It was the advent of a new day,however,when the activist decided to help administer the treatment for the adolescent and help the Admiral fight this adverse situation.And it was clear that the [b][color=#ff0000]Admiral was a wonderful person when the activist saw how much the Admiral adored his son.Now living in an adjacent room in a special section of a treatment center, the activist was able to adhere to the strictest methods for helping the boy fight his addiction.The activist was able to help with aesthetic changes,such as adorning the boy with clean clothes, as well as affirm the boy as his body struggled with the medical additives that would help the boy get better.Certain events were luckily also not adhesive in the youth's mind.This included the boys' aerial leap from a tall building.He did not die only because he landed in the swimming pool of the adjoining building.And now the activist was gaining the attention of his affiliates because of his honorable actions.This had never been his motive.He had only wanted to help a person in need.And, as the Admiral adjourned their weekly meeting about the boy's progress,the activist was really happy that he had been able to make a difference in someone's life.徹底的改變

這位反戰(zhàn)積極分子的主要對手，艦隊(duì)司令因兒子染上毒癮而十分苦惱，但他對此一點(diǎn)也不感到廳怪。實(shí)際上，發(fā)現(xiàn)他的敵人有這樣的個(gè)人問題，他還感到很高興。然而，當(dāng)這位積極分子決定幫助實(shí)施對這位青少年的治療并協(xié)助艦隊(duì)司令對付這種不利情況時(shí)，新的一天到來了。很顯然，當(dāng)這位反戰(zhàn)積極分子看到艦隊(duì)司令對兒子是如何喜愛時(shí)，艦隊(duì)司令成了一個(gè)可愛的人。

現(xiàn)在這位反戰(zhàn)積極分子正住在鄰近治療中心特區(qū)的一個(gè)房間里，因而他能夠堅(jiān)持用最嚴(yán)格的方法幫助那個(gè)男孩戒除毒隱。這位反戰(zhàn)積極分子能夠用審美上的變化提供幫助，如用干凈的衣服打扮男孩，當(dāng)他的身體與醫(yī)療添加劑的副作用作斗爭的時(shí)候他會(huì)斷言它們會(huì)使他好起來。

有些事情幸好沒有在這個(gè)年輕人的心中留下記憶，其中包括他從高樓的空中跳下，他沒有死只是因?yàn)樗舻搅肃徑髽堑挠斡境乩铩?/p>

由于他的誠心相助，這位反戰(zhàn)積極分子得到了他的下屬的注意。這并不是他原來的動(dòng)機(jī)，他只是想幫助一個(gè)需要幫助的人。在艦隊(duì)司令使每周召開的討論男孩病情的會(huì)議休會(huì)時(shí)，這位積極分子為自己能使一個(gè)人的生活發(fā)生變化而感到由衷的高興。word nutrient n.營養(yǎng)品，滋養(yǎng)物 a.營養(yǎng)的，滋養(yǎng)的 nutrition n.營養(yǎng) oak

n.1.櫟樹，像樹 2.櫟木，像木 oar n.槳，櫓 oath

n.1.誓言，誓約 2.咒罵，詛咒語 on/under oath 在法庭上宣過誓 obedient a.服從的，順從的 obscene

a.1.淫穢的，下流的 2.可憎的，可惡的 obscure

a.1.不著名的，不重要的 2.費(fèi)解的，模糊不清的 3.隱藏的，偏僻的 vt.使變模糊，掩蓋 obsession

n.困繞，無法擺脫的思想（或情感）obstruct vt.1.阻塞，堵塞 2.阻礙，阻止，妨礙 occupancy n.占有，使用，居住 odor

n.氣味，風(fēng)味，聲譽(yù) odour 見odor offset vt.補(bǔ)償，抵消 offspring

n.1.子女，子孫，后代 2.（動(dòng)物的）崽 olive

n.橄欖，橄欖樹 opaque

a.1.不透明的，不透光的 2.難理解的，晦澀的 oppress vt.1.壓迫，壓制

2.使（心情等）沉重，使煩惱 opt

vi.（for）選擇，挑選 optimism n.樂觀，樂觀主義 optimum

a.最合適的，最優(yōu)的，最佳的 orchard n.果園

The Ceremony!

The small group of boys quietly put the oars into their boats and walked into the oak orchard that would lead to an obscure hiding place where they would take an oath to become members of a secret organization.Most were the offspring of previous members whose obsessions were to have their children follow in their footsteps.The boys were therefore the optimum candidates;children of the rich who would be obedient to anyone who would make them richer.As their leader passed them under an olive tree that was obstructing the entrance to a small opening, a strong odor reached all of their noses.It was a nutrient rich smell that still somehow oppressed them all.But the odor and the opaque speech by their leader that followed did nothing to offset the optimism all were feeling that what they were doing was right.This was an organization that they all wanted to be part of, no matter what.Then an obscene ritual occurred which the boys would never forget.When it was over the boys were reminded that they were now all under an oath of silence and the few new members of the organization with a limited occupancy.It was too late to opt out.As a final act they all had to drink a drink that was certainly not good for one's nutrition.It tasted like blood.But they were all in now.And none of them would ever be the same again.入會(huì)儀式

一小群男孩悄悄地把槳放進(jìn)小船并走進(jìn)橡樹園，橡樹園通向一個(gè)偏僻的隱藏地點(diǎn)，他們要在那里宣誓成為一個(gè)秘密組織的成員。他們大部分是先前的成員的子女，那些成員都有一種無法擺脫的思想，那就是讓他們的孩子步他們的后塵，因此這些男孩是最佳人選：他們都是富家子弟，誰能使他們更有錢，他們就服誰。

他們的首領(lǐng)在一棵橄欖樹下面從他們面前走過，橄欖樹把一個(gè)小洞的入口堵住了，一股奇怪的氣味直沖他們的鼻子。那是一種很有營養(yǎng)的味道，不知怎的還是讓他們有些煩惱，但是那種味道及隨后首領(lǐng)發(fā)表的令人難以理解的講話并沒有抵消他們的樂觀情緒，他們覺得他們做得對。無論如何，這是他們都想加入的組織。

然后就舉行了男孩們永生難忘的可惡的儀式。儀式結(jié)束之后，男孩們被提醒他們現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)發(fā)誓要保持安靜，他們少數(shù)幾個(gè)新成員居住的地方很小?，F(xiàn)在決定退出已經(jīng)太晚了。

他們要做的最后一件事是喝下一種東西，那東西肯定沒有營養(yǎng)，喝起來像血，但現(xiàn)在他們都已經(jīng)入會(huì)，他們誰也不會(huì)跟以前一樣了。ordeal

n.苦難經(jīng)歷，折磨，煎熬 orient

vt.1.使適應(yīng)，使熟悉

2.（to,toward）使朝向，以??為方向（目標(biāo)）n.［the O_］東方，亞洲（尤指遠(yuǎn)東），東半球 oriental

a.東方的，東方人的，東方文化的 orientation n.1.方向，目標(biāo)，方位 2.熟悉情況，適應(yīng)，情況介紹 originate

vi.（in,from,with）起源于，來自，產(chǎn)生 vt.創(chuàng)造，創(chuàng)始，開創(chuàng) ornament n.1.裝飾品，點(diǎn)綴品 2.裝飾，點(diǎn)綴 vt.裝飾，點(diǎn)綴，美化 orphan n.孤兒 vt.使成為孤兒 orthodox a.1.傳統(tǒng)的 2.正統(tǒng)的，正宗的 oust vt.1.驅(qū)逐

2.罷黜，罷免，把??撤職（以取而代之）outbreak

n.（戰(zhàn)爭、情感、火山等的）爆發(fā)，（疾病、蟲害等的）突然發(fā)生 outfit n.1.（用于某種場合的）全套服裝 2.（協(xié)同工作的）一組人 3.全套裝備，全套工具 outing

n.遠(yuǎn)足，郊游，短途旅行，外出參觀（或看戲等）outlaw

n.歹徒，亡命之徒 vt.宣布??為不合法 outrage n.1.義憤，憤慨 2.暴行，駭人聽聞的事件 vt.激起??的義憤，激怒 outright

ad.1.坦率地，直率地，無保留地 2.完全地，徹底地 3.立即，當(dāng)場

a.1.清楚的，無疑的，明白無誤的 2.完全的，徹底的 outskrits[pl.] n.外圍地區(qū)，郊區(qū)，郊外 overdue

a.1.過期的，到期末付的 2.早該有的，遲到的，延誤的 overflow

vi.1.滿得外溢，外流，泛濫 2.（with）充滿，洋溢

vt.淹沒，從??中溢出，多得使無法容納 n.1.容納不下的物（或人）2.溢出，滿出 3.溢流口，溢流管 overhear

vt.無意中聽到，偷聽到 overlap

v.1.（與??）部分重疊 2.（與??）部分相同 n.重疊，重疊的部分

An Outlaw Outing

The outing was long overdue.We had been hiding on the outskirts of town as outlaws for far too long.When we overheard that there was an outbreak of some sickness in town that had originated in the orient we knew it was time to come out of hiding and see what was going on.They were calling it the “Oriental Sickness” but we didn't care.The first person we met as we wandered into town was a boy who told us outright that he had just become an orphan.He had nowhere else to go and he wanted to join our outfit.Our leader was outraged that such a small boy had recognized us so easily, but we kept walking into town.Once there we saw that the ordeal must have been great.All ornaments on the buildings for the coming orthodox holiday season had been torn down, several were burnt from fire, and bodies were lying on the street.When we went to get water the bucket was overflowing with blood.We didn't dare drink anything.Quickly losing our orientation as outlaws on the run we were surprised when a mass of people rushed up to us.Their voices were overlapping as they cried for us to take them away.When we replied that we couldn't do anything the crowd turned ugly and ousted us from town.As we rode away none of us could speak.Sometimes natural events overwhelm you, as your own mistakes never can.歹徒的外出

出去的時(shí)間早就到了，我們作為亡命之徒在城外郊區(qū)已經(jīng)躲得太久。當(dāng)我們無意中聽到城里爆發(fā)了一種來自東方的疾病時(shí)，我們知道是我們離開躲藏地點(diǎn)出來打探打探的時(shí)候了。他們稱之為“東方病”，可我們不在乎。

我們漫步到街上首先碰到的是一個(gè)男孩，他坦率地告訴我們他剛剛成了孤兒，沒有地方可去，想加入我們這邦人。我們的頭兒很憤慨，因?yàn)檫@樣一個(gè)小男孩居然這么容易就認(rèn)出了我們，但我們還是繼續(xù)往城里趕。

一到城里我們就發(fā)現(xiàn)那里一定發(fā)生過一場苦難經(jīng)歷。建筑物上所有為即將到來的傳統(tǒng)節(jié)日準(zhǔn)備的裝飾品都被扯了下來，有些被火燒掉了，街上到處是尸體。我們?nèi)フ宜袄飬s裝滿了血，我們什么都不敢喝。

作為逃跑中的歹徒我們很快迷失了方向，看到一大群人沖向我們，我們非常吃驚。他們大聲喊著要我們把他們帶走，他們的聲音重疊在一起。當(dāng)我們回答說我們幫不了忙時(shí)，人群變得兇巴巴的并把我們從城里驅(qū)逐出來了。

騎馬離開的時(shí)候，我們誰也說不出話來。有時(shí)候，雖然你自己的錯(cuò)誤決不會(huì)制服你，而天災(zāi)卻會(huì)。WORD anonymous a.1.無名的，不具名的2.匿名的

3.無特色的，無個(gè)特征的 antagonism n.對抗，敵對，對立 antenna n.1.觸角，觸須

2.天線

anthropologist n.人類學(xué)家，人類學(xué)者 antonym n.反義詞 ape n.猿

vt.模仿 appal 見appall appall

vt.使驚駭，使大吃一驚 apparatus

n.1.器械，器具，儀器

2.機(jī)構(gòu)，組織 appease vt.平息，撫慰姑息 appendix n.1.闌尾

2.附錄 applaud vi.鼓掌，喝彩

vt.1.向...鼓掌，向...喝彩

2.稱贊，贊許 appraisal n.估計(jì)，估量，評價(jià) apprehend

vt.逮捕，拘押，領(lǐng)會(huì)，理解 apprentice n.學(xué)徒，徒弟 apron n.1.圍裙

2.臺口(舞臺幕前的突出部分)3.停機(jī)坪 apt

a.1.易于，有(做某事的)傾向

2.恰當(dāng)?shù)?，適宜的3.聰明的，反應(yīng)敏捷的 aptitude

n.(學(xué)習(xí)方面的)才能，資質(zhì)，天資 arc

n.1.弧形(物)2.弧

3.電弧，弧光 arch

n.拱，拱門，拱形(結(jié)構(gòu))v.(使)成拱形

a.調(diào)皮的，淘氣的 archaeology n.考古學(xué)

My Apprentice the Ape

The ape had stolen his research apparatus!But now the anthropologist was going to make hime pay!He had always thought his apprentice might be apt to make some stupid mistake that could cost hime dearly,but the apprentice's aptitude had failed him when he pretended to be an anonymous archeology student in front of his own wife.How could she not recognize him? No one was larger or heavier in all the university----that's why they had started calling him “the ape”.The anthropologist wasn't appalled to learn that his wife had played along with the game,and ,not wanting to stop baking and take her apron off, let his apprentice through the [b][color=#ff0000]arch into his secret office.That was when he stole the apparatus!And his wife soon realized that she had made a mistake.Now,as his antagonism was again rising and he had almost reached the house,the anthropologist was certain that he would be able to apprehend the ape and appease his thirst for revenge.As he turned in an arc to stop his car in front of the driveway, and he saw that his apprentice had also seen him, he could tell that the ape was making an appraisal of his escape options.Quickly the anthropologist stepped out of his car, grabbed the antenna, broke it off and threw it at the apprentice.He couldn't help but applaud his aim when it punctured the ape's appendix!Knowing that the usual antonym for revenge was forgiveness, the anthropologist still did not go to help the now injured apprentice.我的猿徒弟

猿居然偷了他的研究器械！現(xiàn)在這名人類學(xué)家可是要讓他作出償還！他以前總是認(rèn)為，他的徒弟可能很容易犯點(diǎn)愚蠢的錯(cuò)誤，讓他損失慘重，可是當(dāng)他在自己的老婆面前假裝是一名無特色的考古學(xué)生時(shí)，徒弟的天資讓他大失所望。她怎么竟會(huì)認(rèn)不出他？整個(gè)大學(xué)里沒有人比他更大更重----這便是他們開始叫他“猿”的原因。

得知他的老婆也在做戲，而且因?yàn)椴幌胪Ｖ购婵静⒚摰魢?，便讓他的徒弟從拱門進(jìn)到了他的秘密辦公室，人類學(xué)家并沒有因此而大吃一驚。他偷器械就是在這個(gè)時(shí)候！他老婆很快意識到她犯了個(gè)錯(cuò)誤。

現(xiàn)在由于他的敵對情緒又起而且?guī)缀跻呀?jīng)到家，人類學(xué)家肯定他能逮到猿以平息他對復(fù)仇的渴望。

當(dāng)他呈弧形把車開過來停在車道前面時(shí)，他發(fā)現(xiàn)徒弟也看到了他，他明白猿在估量他的逃跑方案。人類學(xué)家很快下車，抓住天線，把它扯掉并向徒弟扔去。天線刺到了徒弟的闌尾，他不禁拍手叫好！盡管人類學(xué)家知道復(fù)仇的反義詞一般是寬恕，但他還是沒有走過去幫助現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)受傷的徒弟。overpass n.天橋，立交橋 override

vt.1.不顧，不理睬，否決 2.壓倒，優(yōu)先于 overt

a.公開的，不隱蔽的 overthrow vt.1.推翻，打倒 2.使終止，摒棄 n.推翻，終止，結(jié)束 overturn

vt.1.使翻轉(zhuǎn)，使顛覆，使倒下 2.顛覆，推翻 vi.顛覆，翻轉(zhuǎn)，翻倒 overwhelm

vt.1,（感情上）使受不了，使不知所措 2.征服，制服 overwhelming a.1.勢不可擋的，壓倒的 2.巨大的 owl n.貓頭鷹 oxide n.氧化物 oyster n.牡蠣 ozone n.臭氧 pact

n.契約，協(xié)定，條約 paddle n.1.短槳，槳

2.（用腳拍打）玩水，涉水 vi.1.劃槳前進(jìn)，蕩槳 2.（用腳拍打）玩水，涉水 vt.1.用槳?jiǎng)潱ù?.用木板打 pamphlet n.小冊子 panda n.熊貓 pang

n.一陣（劇痛、悲痛等）panorama n.1.全景

2.概括，綜述，概觀 pant vi.1.喘，氣喘 2.（for）渴望 vt.氣喘吁吁地說 n.氣喘，喘息 paperback n.平裝本，簡裝本 parachute n.降落傘 vi.跳傘 vt.傘投，空投

No Hope?

Some people will do anything to overturn bad policy and save the planet.Environmentalists, in particular, are known for their overt attempts to overwhelm businesses and governments to change.The issues they stand against are well known: the shrinking ozone layer, the protection of pandas, the destruction of spotted owl habitat, and even over fishing in areas where oysters beds are threatened.These people parachute into dangerous areas, paddle alongside massive fishing boats,or release pamphlets from airplanes because of their internal pact with each other to make a differnce.Against the panorama of these activities, it is sometimes difficult for normal people not to feel a pang of regret for how our own needs sometimes override those of nature.We cry when we see a baby seal killed, we pant when the air feels too full of carbon dioxide, and we weep that so many trees are being cut down to print the paperback books we love to read.But we don't know what to do.It all seems so overwhelming.Sometimes we even want to throw ourselves over the overpass into oncoming traffic because it is all so sad and we know that we can't overthrow our own governments.It is as if we really are like a virus on this planet, destroying all of nature to satisfy our own needs.While we may think of something to do that might make a small amount of change, we really don't know if we can make a big enough difference.And we fear that it will all be too late anyway!Have we really come this far to have it all end like this? 希望渺茫？

有些人會(huì)不惜一切推翻不好的政策、拯救這個(gè)地球。環(huán)境保護(hù)主義者在這方面尤為出名，因?yàn)樗麄児_想制服企業(yè)和政府，讓它們做出改變。他們關(guān)心的問題是眾所周知的：不斷縮小的臭氧層、熊貓的保護(hù)、已被發(fā)現(xiàn)的貓頭鷹棲息地的破壞、甚至還有在牡蠣繁殖地受到威脅的區(qū)域過度捕魚的問題。這些人跳傘到危險(xiǎn)地區(qū)和巨大的漁船一起劃槳前進(jìn)、或者從飛機(jī)上散發(fā)小冊子，因?yàn)樗麄兿嗷ブg有個(gè)內(nèi)部協(xié)定要與眾不同。

綜述所有這些活動(dòng)，正常人有時(shí)會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)很難不感到一陣后悔，因?yàn)槲覀冏约旱男枨蟛恢獮楹螘?huì)那樣壓倒自然的需求?？吹揭恢恍『１粴⑺牢覀儠?huì)哭起來，感覺空氣中有太多的二氧化碳我們會(huì)氣喘，那么多樹被砍倒印制我們喜歡看的平裝書會(huì)使我們流淚，但我們不知道該做些什么，一切都似乎那么勢不可擋。有時(shí)候我們甚至想把自己從天橋上扔到滾滾車流中去，因?yàn)橐磺卸寄敲戳钊藗?，而我們又知道我們不能推翻我們自己的政府?/p>

我們真像是這個(gè)星球上的病毒，我們破壞整個(gè)自然以滿足自己的需求。雖然我們可能會(huì)想起來做點(diǎn)什么、帶來一些小小的變化，我們實(shí)在不知道我們是否能夠扭轉(zhuǎn)乾坤，并且我們還擔(dān)心無論如何已經(jīng)為時(shí)已晚！我們真的到了一切只能這樣結(jié)束的地步嗎？ WORDS ardent

a.熱心的，熱情的，熱烈的 arena

n.1.表演場地，競技場

2.活動(dòng)場所 aristocrat n.貴族 armor

n.盔甲，裝甲，保護(hù)物 armour 見armor array

n.1.展示，陳列，一系列 2.排列，隊(duì)形

3.衣服，盛裝

4.數(shù)組，陣列

vt.1.排列，配置(兵力)2.打扮，裝飾 arrogant a.傲慢的，自大的 arson n.縱火(罪)artery n.1.動(dòng)脈

2.干線，要道 articulate

a.1.善于表達(dá)的，發(fā)音清晰的2.表達(dá)得清楚有力的vt.1.明確有力地表達(dá)

2.清晰地吐(字)，清晰地發(fā)(音)artillery n.1.火炮，大炮

2.炮兵(部隊(duì))ascend

vi.漸漸上升，升高

vt.攀登，登上 ascertain vt.查明，弄清，確定 ascribe

vt.1.(to)把...歸因于 2.把...歸屬于 ashore ad.在岸上，上岸 aspiration

n.強(qiáng)烈的愿望，志向，抱負(fù) aspire

vi.渴望，追求，有志于 ass

n.1.笨蛋，傻瓜 2.驢

[b][color=#ff0000]assassination n.刺殺，暗殺 assault

vt.(武力或口頭上的)攻擊，襲擊 assert

vt.1.肯定地說，斷言 2.維護(hù)，堅(jiān)持 assert oneself

堅(jiān)持自己的權(quán)利，顯示自己的權(quán)威

The Advent of a New Day

As he drove the armored car around the arena in preparation for the assault on the President, Buck McCoy was having second thoughts.He had never aspired to this level of crime.And it was still quite difficult to ascertain how he had ascended to be given this task by his boss.He had always been good at simple arson and as well as an array of other tasks, but an assassination of the President of Botswana? He wasn't ready for this and he was ready to get his ass out of there.As Buck thought about it some more, he could only ascribe his involvement to his articulate brother.Always wanting to be among the aristocrats of crime, his brother asserted himself whenever he could into deeper levels of daring.This time,however, his arrogant behavior was going to cause Buck the loss of his life.And Buck didn't like that.Now it was time for him to assert his own thoughts, and he would stay ardent with his decision not to take part in this foolishness.So he left the arena and drove down to the boat that would take him ashore off the island where he had been testing his artillery.Yes, this was a risk to leave a job like this, but now it was Buck's aspiration to give up crime all together and find a career that was less stressful and damaging to his arteries.Maybe now his health would improve and he could live a less stressful life.新的一天的來臨

當(dāng)他駕著裝甲車在活動(dòng)場所周圍準(zhǔn)備對總統(tǒng)發(fā)起攻擊時(shí)，巴克.麥科伊正想他的心事。他從來沒有追求過這種水平的犯罪，他仍然很難弄清他是如何升到這種高位讓老板委以如此重任的。對于一般的縱火和一系列其他的活動(dòng)來說，這些一直不在話下，但暗殺博茨瓦納總統(tǒng)他行嗎？他沒有準(zhǔn)備好干這個(gè)，他準(zhǔn)備徹底擺脫這種愚蠢的行為。

經(jīng)過再三考慮，巴克只能把這一次的卷入歸因他那能言善辯的哥哥。由于一貫想成為罪犯中的貴族，他哥哥只要有可能就會(huì)顯示自己更加高超的冒險(xiǎn)水平。然而這一次他的自大行為將導(dǎo)致巴克丟掉性命，而巴克并不喜歡這樣?，F(xiàn)在應(yīng)該是堅(jiān)持自己的想法的時(shí)候了，他有熱情堅(jiān)持自己的決定，不參預(yù)這種愚蠢的事情。

因此他離開活動(dòng)場所，開車來到一條船邊，這條船將帶他離島上岸，他一直在這座島上測試他的大炮。是的，離開這樣的工作是一種冒險(xiǎn)，但是現(xiàn)在巴克有一種強(qiáng)烈的愿望，那就是徹底即出江湖，尋找一份壓力更小、不那么損傷腦筋的工作。也許現(xiàn)在他的健康狀態(tài)會(huì)有所好轉(zhuǎn)，生活壓力也會(huì)有所減少。paradise n.天堂，樂園 paradox

n.1.似乎矛盾而（可能）正確的說法 2.自相矛盾的人（或事物）paralyse 見paralyze paralyze

vt.1.使癱瘓，使麻痹 2.使喪失作用

3.使驚愕，使呆若木雞 parameter

n.1.[常pl.]界限，范圍 2.參數(shù) parasite n.1.寄生生物 2.寄生蟲 parlor

n.1.（出售某些商品或提供某種服務(wù)的）店，館，院2.客廳，會(huì)客室 parlour 見parlor parrot n.鸚鵡 participant n.參加者，參與者 partisan

a.黨派的，派性的，偏袒的 n.1.黨徒，忠實(shí)的追隨者 2.（敵后）游擊隊(duì)員 partiton n.1.分隔物，隔墻 2.分割，劃分 vt.隔開，分割，劃分 partnership

n.合伙（關(guān)系），合伙經(jīng)營（的企業(yè)），合伙人身份 passionate a.1.多情的

2.充滿激情的，激昂的 3.熱切的，強(qiáng)烈的 pastime n.消遣，娛樂 pastry

n.油酥面團(tuán)，酥皮糕點(diǎn) pasture n.牧草地，牧場 vt.放牧 patent n.專利，專利權(quán)

a.（有關(guān)）專利（權(quán)）的，受專利保護(hù)的 vt.得到??的專利權(quán) pathetic

a.1.差勁的，令人生厭的 2.引起憐憫的，可憐的，可悲的 patriot

n.愛國者，愛國主義者 patriotic

a.愛國的，有愛國心的，顯示愛國精神的The Last Patriot of the Island Miki!

“I am the last patriot of the Island of Miki left in the world!” Said the parrot from behind the partition that blocked people seeing that he was not a person.“My island was once a paradise.But as is often the case you find great paradoxes in paradise.The paradox on my island was that our pastime was not eating pastries or singing patriotic songs, but destroying each other with our passionately partisan attitudes for how our island should develop.Some participants thought we could profit from tourism and patent the name of our island.Others wanted to set up patrols to keep outsiders away.These two sides could not form partnerships.They could not agree on any parameters.And this disagreement became a parasite that ate at the hearts of our people until we destroyed each other.I myself an paralyzed fromthe battle that followed on the beautiful pastures that were once filled with flowers!On that day they ran with blood.”

“This may sound pathetic.But I am now just a parlor joke.And no one believes my story.They cannot see that, just as happened on my island, countries are now heading towards destruction because people cannot agree with each other.If only they would listen to my story and learn from our mistakes.”

The crowd gasped as the partiton was taken away and they realized that the voice was that of a parrot.As for the parrot, he just looked down, even sadder that his story would not be heard because no one would believe a talking parrot, the last patriot of the Island of Miki.米基島上最后一個(gè)愛國者

“我是世界上剩下的米基島上最后一個(gè)愛國者！”鸚鵡從分隔物后面說，由于有分隔物擋著，人們看不出說話者不是一個(gè)人。

“我這座島曾經(jīng)是個(gè)天堂。但是正如經(jīng)常發(fā)生的那樣，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)天堂里有很多自相矛盾的事情。我的島上自相矛盾的事情是，我們的消遣不是吃酥皮糕點(diǎn)或者唱愛國歌曲，而是相互殘殺，因?yàn)閷τ谌绾伟l(fā)展我們這個(gè)小島，我們都充滿激情但屬于不同黨派。有些參與者認(rèn)為我們可以通過旅游業(yè)賺錢并獲得我們這個(gè)島名的專利，其他人則想成立巡邏隊(duì)以防止外來者的入侵。雙方就是不能結(jié)成伙伴關(guān)系，在任何范圍內(nèi)他們都不能達(dá)到一直意見，而這種分歧最后成了一種寄生蟲，它吞噬著我們的心，直到我們相互毀滅。我自己則在隨后的一場戰(zhàn)斗中癱瘓了，戰(zhàn)場是一個(gè)美麗曾經(jīng)長滿鮮花的牧場，那天他們渾身是血地跑著?！?/p>

這聽起來可能有些可悲，但我現(xiàn)在只是一個(gè)酒館的笑柄，誰也不相信我說的故事。他們看不見許多國家就像我的島上發(fā)生的那樣正因?yàn)榇蠹矣^點(diǎn)不一致而走向毀滅。他們要是聽我的故事，從我們的錯(cuò)誤中吸取教訓(xùn)就好了?！?/p>

分隔物被拿掉的時(shí)候人們倒抽了一口冷氣，他們發(fā)現(xiàn)聲音是一只鸚鵡發(fā)出來的。至于那只鸚鵡，他只是低著頭，他的故事沒有人聽，因?yàn)檎l也不愿意相信一只會(huì)說話的鸚鵡——米基島上最后一個(gè)愛國者，為此他更感傷心。patron

n.1.資助人，贊助人 2.老主顧，顧客 patronise 見patronize patronize

vt.1.以高人一等的態(tài)度對待 2.經(jīng)常光顧，惠顧 3.贊助 pave

vt.鋪（路），鋪筑 pave the way(for)（為??）鋪平道路，（為??）作準(zhǔn)備 payroll

n.1.工資表，在職人員名單 2.工資總額 peanut n.1.花生 2.[pl.]很少的錢 pearl n.1.珍珠 2.珠狀物 3.珍品 pebble n.卵石，小圓石 peck vt.1.啄 2.匆匆輕吻 vi.1.啄食 2.(at)小口地吃 n.1.啄 2.匆匆地一吻

3.（谷物等的干量單位）配克 pedal n.踏板，腳踏 vi.腳踏板，騎車

vt.腳蹬，踩動(dòng)??的踏板 peddle

vt.1.（沿街）叫賣，兜售 2.宣傳，散播 pedestrian n.步行者，行人 peel

vt.削??的皮，剝??的殼 vi.剝落，脫皮

n.（水果等的）皮，外皮 peel off 剝掉，脫去 peep

vi.1.窺視，偷看 2.隱現(xiàn)，慢慢露出 n.1.窺視

2.（汽車?yán)鹊模┼洁铰?3.（鼠、小鳥等的）吱吱聲 peg

n.1.小釘，栓，掛物釘 2.樁

vt.1.用釘子釘，用釘（或樁等）固定 2.限定（價(jià)格、工資等）3.將??看成，將??歸入 4.投（球）等 peg away at 堅(jiān)持不懈地做 penalise 見penalize penalize

vt.1.使處于不利地位，不公平地對待 2.判罰 pending

prep.直到，在等待??期間 a.1.未決的，未定的，待定的 2.即將發(fā)生的，迫近的 pendulum n.1.擺，鐘擺

2.搖擺不定的事態(tài)（或局面）penguin n.企鵝 peninsula n.半島 perch n.1.（鳥類的）棲息處，棲枝，棲木 2.高處，較高的位置 3.鱸魚

v.1.（鳥）飛落，暫棲，停留 2.（在較高處或物體邊緣）坐著 vt.把??置于較高或危險(xiǎn)處

Penguin=Trouble

So I was pedaling down the street the other day when this funny looking pedestrian crossed the street in front of me.I thought this kid was going to get penalized by the cops for sure since he was swinging back and forth like a pendulum.Well, I couldn't peel my eyes off this kid when I crashed into one of our patrons.Her pearls went flying everywhere like pebbles over the road that had recently been paved.As I got up off the road I paved the way through the crowd to retrieve her pearls.When I heard a funny peep I looked up to see that the kid was a penguin！How I missed that, I'll neverknow, but I'm sure the other messenger boy will peg away at me untill they take me off the payroll or something.Anyhow, the penguin pecked me on the cheek like a kiss and then sat down on my bag like he was patronizing me from the top of some perch.I'm not one to hold grudges so I reached into my bag and pulled out some peanuts.As I peeled open the bag someone threw a couple coins down into my hat, which I had dropped.They must have thought I was peddling the penguin for money!

Well, right then and there I reached down, picked up that money and pegged the person in the back of his head.He turned around and started chasing me.Naturally I ran and now my case in court is still pending.But I never found out what happened to that penguin.I hope he made it back to his home on some ocean peninsula.I wouldn't want him hanging around the city much longer.He sure got me into trouble!企鵝＝麻煩

那天我正在街上騎車，突然有個(gè)樣子古怪的行人從我面前穿過馬路。我心想這個(gè)小家伙肯定要遭警察罰了，因?yàn)樗駛€(gè)鐘擺一樣晃來晃去。我無法把視線從這個(gè)小家伙身上移開，就在這時(shí)我撞到了我們一個(gè)老主顧身上。她的珍珠像小圓石一樣撒滿了最近才鋪好的路面。我加快速度在人群中為她鋪開了一條路讓她撿回珍珠。

聽到一聲奇怪的吱吱聲，我抬頭發(fā)現(xiàn)小家伙原來是只企鵝！我永遠(yuǎn)也無法知道我怎么就沒有注意到他只不過是只企鵝，但是我確信其他送信男孩會(huì)一直抓著我不放，直到他們把我從在職人員名單上拿下來或是怎么的。不管怎樣，企鵝像親吻一樣在我的臉上輕輕啄了一下，然后就坐在了我的包上，就像從某個(gè)高處以高人一等的態(tài)度對待我一樣。我不是個(gè)懷恨的人，所以我把手伸進(jìn)包里掏出一些花生來。在我打開包的時(shí)候，有人往我的帽子里扔了幾枚硬幣，因?yàn)槲野衙弊拥粼诹说厣?。他們一定以為我在拿企鵝叫賣！

就在此時(shí)此地我彎腰把錢撿了起來朝那個(gè)人的后腦勺扔去，他轉(zhuǎn)過身來開始追我。我自然是跑掉了，現(xiàn)在我在法院的案子還懸而未決。

但我一直沒弄清楚企鵝的下落，我希望他成功地回到了某個(gè)大洋半島他自己的家，我不希望他在城里做更多的逗留。他肯定是給我?guī)砹寺闊?！perfection n.完美，完善 to perfection

完美地，盡善盡美地，完全地 perfume

n.香水，香料，香氣 vt.1.使充滿芳香 2.灑香水于 peril n.1.極大危險(xiǎn)

2.[常pl.]危險(xiǎn)的事（或環(huán)境）at one's peril

（尤用于告誡某人勿做某事）自擔(dān)風(fēng)險(xiǎn) periodic

a.周期的，定期的，時(shí)而發(fā)生的 periodical n.期刊

a.周期的，定期的，時(shí)而發(fā)生的 perish

vi.1.喪生，毀滅，消亡

2.（橡膠、皮革等）失去彈性，老化 permeate

v.1.彌漫，遍布，散布 2.滲入，滲透 permissible a.可允許的，許可的 perpetual

a.1.永久的，永恒的，長期的 2.無休止的，沒完沒了的 perplex

vt.使困惑，使費(fèi)解，使復(fù)雜化 persecute vt.1.迫害，虐待 2.糾纏，騷擾 persevere

vi.堅(jiān)持不懈，鍥而不舍 persistent a.1.堅(jiān)持不懈的，執(zhí)意的 2.持續(xù)的 persuasion n.1.說服（力），勸說 2.信念，信仰 pertain

vi.(to)從屬，有關(guān) pertinent a.有關(guān)系的，相關(guān)的 pest

n.1.有害生物，害蟲 2.討厭的人 pester

vt.不斷打擾，糾纏 pesticide n.殺蟲劑，農(nóng)藥 petal n.花瓣 petition

n.請?jiān)笗暾垥?，訴狀 v.（向??）請?jiān)福秸埱?/p>

A Persistent Female Lawyer

The female lawyer I knew was perpetually pestering judges to have periodic lunches with her.I am sure she thought this was permissible, but everyone else was sure she was going heavy on the perfume and female persuation tactics to gain some extra favor at all of their peril.So my friends and I decided to gain some pertinent information about her case history to see if it might reveal if her persistent behavior had had any actual effect.We were surprised to learn that it had.In periodical reports we found out that she was always winning cases with the judges she took to lunch.We knew our future as lawyers would blossom like the petals on a rose if we could prove this, but we also realized that our future could perish if we went after the judges and failed.So I decided to drop my case dealing with pesticide control and focus on a petition that would show all proof pertaining to what we had found.My work would have to near perfection if I wanted to succeed.The case permeated my life for weeks.Whenever I was perplexed by what I had found I persevered to the perfection that I had sought.I did not want to persecute this female lawyer——I wanted to send her and the judges to jail.Then they would not call me a pest and know that it was their own actions that brought about their peril.I won the case.The female was barred from practicing law and the four judges she had influenced all went to prison!I am, by the way, also a woman!堅(jiān)持不懈的女律師

我知道的這名女律師沒完沒了地纏著幾位法官定期與她一起吃午飯。我確信她認(rèn)為這樣做是允許的，但其他人都覺得她是在用大量的香水和女性的勸說手段獲取更多的優(yōu)勢而讓他們所有的人自擔(dān)風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。于是我和我的朋友決定就她的案例記錄取得一些相關(guān)的信息，看能否弄清楚她那堅(jiān)持不懈的做法是否真的產(chǎn)生過影響。

我們吃驚地發(fā)現(xiàn)還真的有影響。在定期報(bào)告中，我們發(fā)現(xiàn)她請法官吃飯果然能常常打贏官司。我們知道如果能證明此事，我們未來的律師生涯將像盛開的玫瑰花瓣一樣；但我們同時(shí)意識到如果我們調(diào)查法官卻一無所獲，我們的未來就玩完了。所以我決定放棄手中有關(guān)農(nóng)藥控制的案子而集中寫好一份關(guān)于我們的發(fā)現(xiàn)的訴狀。如果想成功，我的工作要做得近乎完美。

幾個(gè)星期以來這個(gè)案子一直滲透到了我的生活。只要我對我的發(fā)現(xiàn)感到困惑我就會(huì)堅(jiān)持不懈，追求完美。我并不想迫害這名女律師——我只想把她和那些法官送進(jìn)監(jiān)獄。這樣他們就不會(huì)認(rèn)為我是個(gè)討厭的人，并且知道給他們帶來危險(xiǎn)的是他們自己的行為。

我打贏了這場官司。女律師被取消了律師資格，受她影響的四位法官也被送進(jìn)了監(jiān)獄！順便說一下，我也是名女性！petty

a.1.小的，瑣碎的，不重要的 2.氣量小的，心胸狹窄的 pharmacy n.1.藥房，藥店 2.藥劑學(xué)，配藥 physiological a.生理的，生理學(xué)的 picket

n.1.（罷工時(shí)的）糾察隊(duì)，糾察隊(duì)員 2.警戒隊(duì)，警戒哨 vt.1.在??設(shè)置糾察線

2.派??擔(dān)任糾察，布置（警衛(wèi)）警戒 vi.擔(dān)任糾察（或警戒哨）picturesque a.1.美麗如畫的

2.（語言）生動(dòng)的，繪聲繪色的 pier

n.（伸入水域的）碼頭，突堤 piety n.虔誠，虔敬 pilgrim n.1.朝圣者

2.（在國外的）旅行者，漫游者 pineapple n.鳳梨，菠蘿 pinpoint

vt.1.準(zhǔn)確描述，確定，確認(rèn) 2.精確地確定??的位置 n.針尖，尖端 a.十分精確的 pirate

n.1.非法盜?。ɑ驈?fù)制）者，侵犯版權(quán)者 2.海盜

vt.1.以海盜的方式搶劫，搶掠 2.盜用，非法盜印（或復(fù)制）pistol n.手槍 piston n.活塞 pitfall

n.1.隱患，易犯的錯(cuò)誤 2.陷阱，圈套 pizza

n.意大利餡餅，比薩餅 plague n.1.瘟疫，鼠疫 2.災(zāi)難，禍患

vt.使痛苦（或難受），給??造成困難（或麻煩）plank

n.1.厚木板（條）2.政綱條目，政策要點(diǎn) plaster n.1.灰漿，灰泥 2.石膏

3.橡皮膏，膏藥

vt.1.在??上抹灰泥，厚厚地涂抹 2.粘貼于，張貼于，貼滿 plateau n.1.高原

2.（上升后的）穩(wěn)定時(shí)期（或狀態(tài)）plausible

a.似有道理的，似乎正確的，貌似可信的 plea

n.1.懇求，請求 2.抗辯，答辯，辯護(hù) 3.借口，托辭

False Piety

It was another day on the picket line.Today we were in front of a pharmacy that supposedly sold drugs tested on animals to increase people's physiological tolerance for pain.Well that was plausible, but no one ever heard our pleas, they just went from one petty picket line to another unable to pinpoint an overall theme to our actions.I was at a plateau on the whole picket line thing when we met a man who said that we could have a greater impact by pirating ships, using pistols, and doing something more drastic.This would get more attention as well as our faces plastered all over the TV screen and newspapers.We decided to give it a try.He never mentioned any pitfalls.Our first and only action was on a picturesque pier in Southern California.After eating our fill of pizza and pineapples we headed to the fishing boat that we were sure caught fish and also killed dolphins in the process.Our plan was to wreck the pistons of the boat engine and then make the captain symbolically walk the plank.But we were pilgrims in this new country of activism and the police fell upon us like the plague before we had done any damage at all.It also turned out that the man who told us to do this was an undercover policeman.All of his false piety was simply a trap to get us to do something crazy so that he could arrest us.And we had fallen for it all.假裝虔誠

糾察線進(jìn)入了新的一天。今天我們是在一家藥店前面，據(jù)說這家藥店買的藥在動(dòng)物身上做過實(shí)驗(yàn)，是用來增強(qiáng)人們?nèi)淌芴弁吹纳砟芰Φ?。這聽起來似乎有些道理，但沒有人聽我們請求，他們只是從一條小的糾察線走到另外一條小的糾察線，不能對我們行動(dòng)的主題作出準(zhǔn)確判斷。在整個(gè)糾察線里面，我處于一種穩(wěn)定狀態(tài)，這時(shí)我們碰到了一個(gè)人，他說通過以海盜方式搶劫船只、使用手槍、做一些更加極端的事情我們就可以有更大的影響，這樣會(huì)吸引更多的人注意，還會(huì)使我們的面部出現(xiàn)在電視屏幕上和報(bào)紙上。我們決定嘗試一下。他只字未提容易犯的錯(cuò)誤。

我們的首次同時(shí)也是唯一的一次行動(dòng)是在南加利弗尼亞一個(gè)風(fēng)景如畫的碼頭。吃飽比薩餅和菠蘿之后，我們向一條漁船走去，我們相信它能抓到魚并且還能在捕魚的過程中殺死海豚。我們的計(jì)劃是破壞船上發(fā)動(dòng)機(jī)的活塞，然后讓船長象征性地在原木板上行走。但是在這個(gè)新的激進(jìn)主義國家我們是朝圣者，我們還沒來得及搞任何破壞活動(dòng)，警察就像瘟疫一樣對我們進(jìn)行了襲擊。

原來那個(gè)要我們做這種事的人是個(gè)警察密探。他裝得那么虔誠完全是個(gè)圈套，他讓我們做一些瘋狂的事，這樣就可以把我們抓起來。我們還真上了他的當(dāng)。plead

vi.1.懇求，請求 2.申訴，答辯，辯護(hù) vt.1.為??辯護(hù) 2.提出??為理由（或借口）plight n.困境，苦境 pluck

vt.1.拔，摘，采 2.拔除??的毛 3.彈，撥，彈奏 vi.(at)拉，拽，拉扯 n.勇氣，膽量，決心 plum n.李子，梅子 a.待遇好的 plumber n.管子工，水暖工 plume

n.1.（升上空中的）一縷（煙、塵土等）2.羽毛，羽飾 plump

a.豐滿的，胖乎乎的

vi.1.(down)撲通倒（或坐）下，驀地摔下 2.(for)選定

vt.1.使撲通倒（或坐）下，驀地摔下 2.(up)輕輕拍打使（枕頭等）變得鼓起來 plunder

vt.劫掠??的財(cái)物，掠奪 n.1.劫掠物，贓物 2.劫掠，搶奪 pneumonia n.肺炎 poignant a.令人痛苦的，辛酸的，慘痛的 poise

n.1.穩(wěn)重，鎮(zhèn)定 2.（優(yōu)美）姿勢，姿態(tài) 3.平衡，平穩(wěn)

vt.使平衡，使平穩(wěn)，平穩(wěn)地拿 poke vt.1.戳，捅

2.用??戳（或捅），把??戳向 3.伸出，突出 vi.伸出，突出 n.戳，捅

poke about/around 搜索，探問 poke fun at 拿??開玩笑，取笑 poke one's nose into 探問，干預(yù) polar

a.1.地極的，近地極的 2.磁極的

3.正好相反的，截然對立的 polyester

n.聚脂（纖維），滌綸 ponder

v.思索，考慮，沉思 pony

n.矮種馬，小馬 popcorn n.爆玉米花，炒苞米 pope

n.[常the P_]（天主教）教皇，羅馬主教 porcelain n.瓷，瓷器 porch n.門廊 pore n.毛孔，細(xì)孔

vi.(over)仔細(xì)閱讀，審視

The Lucky Plumber

The plumber had always been lucky at games.But the day he went to the carnival with the polar bear it all came to a poignant end.It started when he was poking about looking for a game to play.He had already done the pony ride, eaten popcorn, and plucked a plum from a tall tree using a feather to won a porcelain doll of the Pope.But now he was pondering if he could win a guessing game to win the polyester jacket that the game host was wearing as he sat on his porch.When he decided to try the host began to poke fun at him that he would lose his poise and not be able to guess his weight.And he was right.The plumber was wrong with his guess.He pleaded for a second chance and even paid to guess again.When he guessed wrong again a plump woman with a bright orange plume on her hat stepped in to try as well.The plumber poked her in the side and told her not to poke her nose into other peoples business.He was still playing and she wasn't going to plunder the prize that he thought was his!

But the plumber just could not win the guessing game.When he finally acknowledged his plight, the pores on his skin were all worn out from sweating so much!I hear he was never the same again and that he died of the pneumonia he caught that night a few weeks later.Some people just can't stand being down on their luck.幸運(yùn)的水暖工

這個(gè)水暖工玩游戲時(shí)一貫幸運(yùn)，但是那天他和北極熊一起去參加歡慶會(huì)時(shí)，他的運(yùn)氣令人痛苦地結(jié)束了。他到處探問有什么游戲可玩的時(shí)候壞運(yùn)氣就開始了。他已經(jīng)玩過騎矮種馬、吃爆玉米花、用一跟羽毛從一棵大樹上摘李子以贏取教皇的瓷娃娃，但是現(xiàn)在他正在思考他是否能夠在這次猜謎游戲中獲勝以贏得坐在門廊里的游戲主持人穿的那種滌綸夾克。

當(dāng)他決定試一下的時(shí)候，主持人跟他開了個(gè)玩笑，說他會(huì)失去平衡并猜不出他的體重。他還真說對了，水暖工猜錯(cuò)了。他請求再給他一次機(jī)會(huì)，他甚至愿意掏錢只要讓他再試。在他再次猜錯(cuò)的時(shí)候，一位豐滿的、帽子上插著一根鮮艷的橙黃色羽毛的婦女走近來也要試一下。水暖工在她側(cè)面捅了一下并告訴她不要干預(yù)別人的事，他說他還在玩，她不要搶走他認(rèn)為屬于他的獎(jiǎng)品！

但是水暖工就是贏不了這次猜謎游戲。等他終于承認(rèn)自己的困境時(shí)，他皮膚上的毛孔因?yàn)槌龊固喽級牡袅?！我聽水他再也沒能重振雄風(fēng)，幾個(gè)星期之后他死于那天晚上得的肺炎。有些人就是不能忍受不走運(yùn)。portray vt.1.描寫，描繪 2.扮演，飾演 postscript

n.1.（信末簽名后的）附言，又及 2.（正文后的）補(bǔ)充說明 posture n.1.姿勢，姿態(tài) 2.看法，態(tài)度

vi.擺出（不自然的）姿勢，裝模作樣

第三篇：背媳婦搞笑幽默故事

情人節(jié)這天上午，張大伯和老伴李大娘上街買菜，還沒到菜場，就發(fā)現(xiàn)商場門前人山人海，熱鬧非凡，擠進(jìn)去一看，原來正在舉行背媳婦大賽。

看著臺上那些小伙子背著姑娘們跑來跑去的景象，李大娘觸景生情，把張大伯拉出人堆，說：“老頭子，你也背背我唄，咱倆談戀愛時(shí)，你不是也經(jīng)常這樣背我嗎，今天咱也找找那種浪漫心動(dòng)的感覺。

張大伯扭頭四下看了看：“咱們都一大把年紀(jì)了，這樣不好吧，萬一被熟人看見咋辦？

李大娘眼一瞪：“哦，你現(xiàn)在不好意思了，當(dāng)初那會(huì)兒你咋不怕呢，是不是現(xiàn)在我老了，模樣丑了，你嫌棄我了？張大伯被李大娘問得說不出話來，只好乖乖蹲下身子，背起老伴。

誰知?jiǎng)傋邲]幾步，就聽“吱一聲，一輛出租車停在他們身邊，司機(jī)走下來，關(guān)切地問：“哎，大伯，大娘這是怎么了？

張大伯一看，原來是鄰居大劉，他怕直說被人家笑話，便隨口應(yīng)道：“啊，你大娘剛崴了腳，疼得走不了路了。李大娘也忙配合著齜牙咧嘴地直叫喚。

大劉一聽，忙熱心地打開車門：“那得上醫(yī)院吶，快上車！說著，不由分說，便把二老扶上了車。

到了醫(yī)院，張大伯掏出二十塊錢給大劉，要當(dāng)車錢，大劉推辭了兩下，最后還是收下了。

老兩口在醫(yī)院里轉(zhuǎn)悠了幾圈，尋思著大劉已經(jīng)走了，便一邊商量著坐哪路公交回家，一邊慢慢地走出醫(yī)院，哪知?jiǎng)偝鲈洪T，大劉就迎了上來。張大伯尷尬地問：“大劉，你還沒走啊？

大劉熱心地說：“我尋思大娘一時(shí)半會(huì)兒還不能走，便在這兒等著送你們回家。咦，大娘好像好多了？

李大娘忙應(yīng)道：“比剛才好點(diǎn)了，好點(diǎn)了，哎喲，現(xiàn)在又疼了。說著一把扶住張大伯。

大劉一看，忙打開車門，讓兩人坐進(jìn)去。老兩口苦著臉對視了一眼，只好再次坐上大劉的出租車。到家后，熱心的大劉還把李大娘背到了五樓的家里。人家大劉又出車又出力，張大伯實(shí)在過意不去，又塞給了他二十塊錢。

忙活了半天，菜一根沒買，還搭進(jìn)去四十塊錢，張大伯又怨又氣，他瞪了老伴一眼：“都怨你，非要我背你，說要找什么，噢，浪漫心動(dòng)的感覺，看你以后還找不找！

李大娘安慰老伴說，“老頭子，雖然浪漫和心動(dòng)的感覺咱都沒找到，但咱們找到了另外的一種感覺呀。

“什么感覺？

“浪費(fèi)和心痛的感覺唄！李大娘怯怯地說。

第四篇：幽默小故事

經(jīng)典幽默小故事

坐錯(cuò)地方

一位婦人在公園的長椅上坐下，她看四周無人，便把腿伸直躺在椅子上。過了一會(huì)兒，一個(gè)乞丐走到她面前說道：“相好的，一起散散步如何？” “你好大的膽子，”婦人說：“我可不是那種勾三搭四的女人！” “那么，”乞丐又說，“你在我床上干什么？”

趙錢孫李

從前，有一位私塾先生，教了十幾個(gè)小學(xué)生，其中有一個(gè)是財(cái)主的兒子，讀的是《百家姓》，但他總是讀不會(huì)。有一天，先生氣急了，說道：“趙錢孫李這么簡單的話你都記不住，真沒用，我再來開導(dǎo)開導(dǎo)你。你不是姓趙嗎？你們家不是很有錢嗎？你的兒子的兒子不就是你的孫子嗎？我的名字叫李萬年。這樣詳詳細(xì)細(xì)地解釋給你聽，你如果還記不住，真是該打手心！”第二天，這個(gè)學(xué)生朗朗背誦道：“我姓趙，我有錢，我的孫子李萬年?！蓖瑢W(xué)們聽了，哈哈大笑。

到了哪一頭

小伙子當(dāng)恩在街上突然碰到幾個(gè)月前給他主持婚禮儀式的牧師。

當(dāng)恩問牧師：“在舉行婚禮的時(shí)候，您不是代表上帝宣布：我和我妻子的一切煩惱都已經(jīng)到頭了嗎？可是現(xiàn)在我正煩惱得很哪！”

“對，我是這樣說過?！蹦翈煵换挪幻Φ鼗卮?，“煩惱有開始的一頭，也有消失的一頭；當(dāng)時(shí)我可并沒有說明您是到了哪一頭。”

彼此彼此

有個(gè)缺德鬼去給朋友拜年，在路上碰見了他的鄰居——一個(gè)聾子。他樂呵呵地拱手給聾子拜年：“恭喜你今年早死！”

聾子以為他說的都是吉利話，便回拜說：“你也一樣！你也一樣！”

哭與笑

有幾個(gè)人在野外拾到一個(gè)地理先生使用的羅盤，大家都不認(rèn)得，拿給毛拉看是件什么東西。毛拉先是嗚嗚地哭，接著又哈哈地大笑起來。弄得這幾個(gè)人迷惑不解地問：“你又哭又笑的，到底是怎么回事？”

毛拉誠懇地答道：“我開始哭，是覺得你們太愚昧，連這么個(gè)小東西都不認(rèn)識；后來笑，是因?yàn)槲野l(fā)現(xiàn)自己也不認(rèn)得這東西?！?/p>

手套

中華民國時(shí)期有個(gè)染坊工人被法院傳票到法庭上作證，他舉手宣誓時(shí)，整個(gè)手黑得像墨一樣，法官見了，就高聲叫道：“你先脫掉手套，然后再宣誓?！?染坊工人認(rèn)真地說：“請你戴上眼鏡，看清后再發(fā)言?！?/p>

主教落入陷阱

主教聽別人說，到紐約后很有可能被報(bào)界拖入預(yù)設(shè)的陷阱，所以要格外小心。在機(jī)場，有位記者一見面就問他：“你想上夜總會(huì)嗎？”主教想岔開這個(gè)問題，就譏笑著反問：“紐約有夜總會(huì)嗎？”真沒想到，他還是落入了陷阱。因?yàn)榈诙靾?bào)紙上報(bào)道這次會(huì)見的大標(biāo)題是：“主教走下飛機(jī)后的第一個(gè)問題：?紐約有夜總會(huì)嗎?？”

一字之差

有一個(gè)教徒結(jié)了婚，她接到了朋友發(fā)來的賀電。電文原本是“約翰1—4—18”。朋友的意思是讓她查看《圣經(jīng)》中《約翰福音》一書，數(shù)字標(biāo)著的頁碼和行數(shù)原是一句祝賀與鼓勵(lì)的話：“愛里沒有懼怕，愛既完全，就把懼怕除去?！?/p>

不幸送來的電文漏掉了“1”字，只見電文上寫著約翰“4—18”。新娘按電文原意一翻《約翰福音》第四章18節(jié)，只見那里寫著：“你已經(jīng)有五個(gè)丈夫，你現(xiàn)在有的，并不是你的丈夫?！?/p>

損人損己

一位美貌溫柔的年輕姑娘獨(dú)自坐在酒吧里。從她的裝束便可以看出她一定出身豪門。這時(shí)，一位瀟灑英俊的青年男子向她走來，有禮貌地低聲問：“這兒有人坐嗎？?！?她大聲說：“到阿芙達(dá)旅館去？”

“不，不。你弄錯(cuò)了?！鼻嗄暧袔追只蹄?，急忙解釋說：“我只是問這兒有其他人坐嗎？” “您說今夜就去？”她尖聲叫道，比剛才更激動(dòng)。

青年男子被她弄得狼狽極了，紅著臉兒到另一張桌子上去了。許多顧客憤慨而輕蔑地看著他。

過了一會(huì)，年輕姑娘又來到他的桌邊，給他叫了一杯白蘭地輕聲說：“對不起，我只是想看看您對意外情況的反應(yīng)。”

青年本來氣就未消，見她這般言行，決心叫她也出一次丑，他大聲地說：“什么？一次要一百美元嗎？”

這一次，窘迫輪給這位年輕的姑娘了。

想跳舞嗎

大半個(gè)晚上都沒有一個(gè)人邀請瑪麗小姐步入舞池，使她感到非常失望。這時(shí)一位英俊瀟灑的男士向她含笑走來，瑪麗急忙起身微笑相迎。“您想跳舞嗎？小姐？”那位男士問道。“是的，謝謝你的邀請?！?“正好，我可以坐你的位置了?！?黑暗中的一吻

火車進(jìn)入隧道，整個(gè)車廂里一片黑暗。只聽一聲親吻，接著便是一記響亮的耳光。火車遲遲開出隧道后，車廂內(nèi)四個(gè)素不相識的人都沒有吱聲，唯有德國軍官眼圈發(fā)青。中國老太太暗想：“這姑娘人美心靈更美?！惫媚锵耄骸罢嫫婀?，這德國人寧親老太婆不親我?！钡聡讼耄骸傲_馬尼亞人真狡猾，他偷著親嘴，我暗里挨打。”羅馬尼亞人想：“我最聰明，我吻自己的手背，又打了德國人一個(gè)耳光，沒人發(fā)現(xiàn)?！?/p>

最值錢的東西

從前，有一個(gè)國王統(tǒng)率的軍隊(duì)包圍了一座城池。進(jìn)城之前，國王發(fā)布一條命令：城中的婦女皆可免于一死，明天天亮之前，可以攜帶自己最值錢的東西離開城池，國王保證大家的安全。不久，只見全城婦女人人背上都背著

一個(gè)沉重的包袱，上氣不接下氣地走出城門，一個(gè)個(gè)累得滿頭大汗。原來她們身上背的包袱里，都是自己的丈夫。

美人效應(yīng)

羅馬一家自助餐廳的老板整天苦思冥想，終于想出一個(gè)賺別人小費(fèi)的妙計(jì)。他首先請來一位非常漂亮的姑娘，坐在柜臺旁邊收錢，以便使得男客們神魂顛倒，慷慨解囊。誰料到姑娘上班沒幾天，就對老板說：“我想，我不如以前那么漂亮了?！?老板急忙問：“這是怎么回事呢？”

“現(xiàn)在，所有的男客都在柜臺邊反復(fù)地?cái)?shù)我找給他們的零錢?！?/p>

聰明的證據(jù)

19世紀(jì)時(shí)，西方一些科學(xué)家聲稱找到了白種人比黃種人聰明的科學(xué)證據(jù)：“黃種人的頭發(fā)截面是圓的，而白種人的則是橢圓的，橢圓有兩個(gè)圓心，規(guī)畫更為不易，可見上帝是偏愛白種人的?！笔饬?，20世紀(jì)初，人類學(xué)家在非洲某地區(qū)發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個(gè)黑人原始部落，他們的頭發(fā)與黃種人和白種人都不一樣，是扁的。

體檢

一位個(gè)頭很大的愛爾蘭青年信步走進(jìn)了一間辦公室，里面正在由軍醫(yī)進(jìn)行對警察候選人的體格檢查。

軍醫(yī)對他說：“脫下衣服來?！?“您說什么，先生？” “把衣服脫光，快一點(diǎn)！”

青年人脫了衣服。軍醫(yī)給他量了胸圍，檢查了脊背后，命令：“跳過這根橫桿。” 青年人照著做了，結(jié)果動(dòng)作還好，但摔了個(gè)仰八叉。

“雙膝并攏，兩手觸地?！鼻嗄耆税匆笥肿隽?，因失去平衡，跌倒在地上。待他爬起來，軍醫(yī)又命令：“在這冷水池里跳躍五分鐘。” “這太滑稽了?！鼻嗄耆肃洁熘?/p>

“現(xiàn)在繞著房子跑十圈，我要檢查你的心臟和呼吸?！?青年人終于氣惱地說：“我不，我寧愿打一輩子光棍！” 軍醫(yī)一聽，困惑地問：“你這是什么意思？”

青年人說：“是的，打光棍！辦個(gè)結(jié)婚手續(xù)哪來這么多的麻煩？”

第五篇：經(jīng)典幽默小故事

經(jīng)典幽默小故事

坐錯(cuò)地方

一位婦人在公園的長椅上坐下，她看四周無人，便把腿伸直躺在椅子上。過了一會(huì)兒，一個(gè)乞丐走到她面前說道：“相好的，一起散散步如何？”

“你好大的膽子，”婦人說：“我可不是那種勾三搭四的女人！”

“那么，”乞丐又說，“你在我床上干什么？”

趙錢孫李

從前，有一位私塾先生，教了十幾個(gè)小學(xué)生，其中有一個(gè)是財(cái)主的兒子，讀的是《百家姓》，但他總是讀不會(huì)。有一天，先生氣急了，說道：“趙錢孫李這么簡單的話你都記不住，真沒用，我再來開導(dǎo)開導(dǎo)你。你不是姓趙嗎？你們家不是很有錢嗎？你的兒子的兒子不就是你的孫子嗎？我的名字叫李萬年。這樣詳詳細(xì)細(xì)地解釋給你聽，你如果還記不住，真是該打手心！”第二天，這個(gè)學(xué)生朗朗背誦道：“我姓趙，我有錢，我的孫子李萬年?！蓖瑢W(xué)們聽了，哈哈大笑。

到了哪一頭

小伙子當(dāng)恩在街上突然碰到幾個(gè)月前給他主持婚禮儀式的牧師。

當(dāng)恩問牧師：“在舉行婚禮的時(shí)候，您不是代表上帝宣布：我和我妻子的一切煩惱都已經(jīng)到頭了嗎？可是現(xiàn)在我正煩惱得很哪！”

“對，我是這樣說過?！蹦翈煵换挪幻Φ鼗卮穑盁烙虚_始的一頭，也有消失的一頭；當(dāng)時(shí)我可并沒有說明您是到了哪一頭?！?/p>

彼此彼此

有個(gè)缺德鬼去給朋友拜年，在路上碰見了他的鄰居——一個(gè)聾子。他樂呵呵地拱手給聾子拜年：“恭喜你今年早死！”

聾子以為他說的都是吉利話，便回拜說：“你也一樣！你也一樣！”

哭與笑

有幾個(gè)人在野外拾到一個(gè)地理先生使用的羅盤，大家都不認(rèn)得，拿給毛拉看是件什么東西。

毛拉先是嗚嗚地哭，接著又哈哈地大笑起來。弄得這幾個(gè)人迷惑不解地問：“你又哭又笑的，到底是怎么回事？”

毛拉誠懇地答道：“我開始哭，是覺得你們太愚昧，連這么個(gè)小東西都不認(rèn)識；后來笑，是因?yàn)槲野l(fā)現(xiàn)自己也不認(rèn)得這東西?！?/p>

手套

中華民國時(shí)期有個(gè)染坊工人被法院傳票到法庭上作證，他舉手宣誓時(shí)，整個(gè)手黑得像墨一樣，法官見了，就高聲叫道：“你先脫掉手套，然后再宣誓?！?/p>

染坊工人認(rèn)真地說：“請你戴上眼鏡，看清后再發(fā)言?！?/p>

主教落入陷阱 主教聽別人說，到紐約后很有可能被報(bào)界拖入預(yù)設(shè)的陷阱，所以要格外小心。在機(jī)場，有位記者一見面就問他：“你想上夜總會(huì)嗎？”主教想岔開這個(gè)問題，就譏笑著反問：“紐約有夜總會(huì)嗎？”真沒想到，他還是落入了陷阱。因?yàn)榈诙靾?bào)紙上報(bào)道這次會(huì)見的大標(biāo)題是：“主教走下飛機(jī)后的第一個(gè)問題：?紐約有夜總會(huì)嗎?？”

一字之差

有一個(gè)教徒結(jié)了婚，她接到了朋友發(fā)來的賀電。電文原本是“約翰1—4—18”。朋友的意思是讓她查看《圣經(jīng)》中《約翰福音》一書，數(shù)字標(biāo)著的頁碼和行數(shù)原是一句祝賀與鼓勵(lì)的話：“愛里沒有懼怕，愛既完全，就把懼怕除去?！?/p>

不幸送來的電文漏掉了“1”字，只見電文上寫著約翰“4—18”。新娘按電文原意一翻《約翰福音》第四章18節(jié)，只見那里寫著：“你已經(jīng)有五個(gè)丈夫，你現(xiàn)在有的，并不是你的丈夫?！?/p>

損人損己

一位美貌溫柔的年輕姑娘獨(dú)自坐在酒吧里。從她的裝束便可以看出她一定出身豪門。

這時(shí)，一位瀟灑英俊的青年男子向她走來，有禮貌地低聲問：“這兒有人坐嗎？?！?/p>

她大聲說：“到阿芙達(dá)旅館去？”

“不，不。你弄錯(cuò)了?！鼻嗄暧袔追只蹄?，急忙解釋說：“我只是問這兒有其他人坐嗎？”

“您說今夜就去？”她尖聲叫道，比剛才更激動(dòng)。

青年男子被她弄得狼狽極了，紅著臉兒到另一張桌子上去了。許多顧客憤慨而輕蔑地看著他。

過了一會(huì)，年輕姑娘又來到他的桌邊，給他叫了一杯白蘭地輕聲說：“對不起，我只是想看看您對意外情況的反應(yīng)?！?/p>

青年本來氣就未消，見她這般言行，決心叫她也出一次丑，他大聲地說：“什么？一次要一百美元嗎？”

這一次，窘迫輪給這位年輕的姑娘了。

想跳舞嗎

大半個(gè)晚上都沒有一個(gè)人邀請瑪麗小姐步入舞池，使她感到非常失望。這時(shí)一位英俊瀟灑的男士向她含笑走來，瑪麗急忙起身微笑相迎。

“您想跳舞嗎？小姐？”那位男士問道。

“是的，謝謝你的邀請?！?/p>

“正好，我可以坐你的位置了?！?/p>

黑暗中的一吻

火車進(jìn)入隧道，整個(gè)車廂里一片黑暗。只聽一聲親吻，接著便是一記響亮的耳光?；疖囘t遲開出隧道后，車廂內(nèi)四個(gè)素不相識的人都沒有吱聲，唯有德國軍官眼圈發(fā)青。中國老太太暗想：“這姑娘人美心靈更美?！惫媚锵耄骸罢嫫婀?，這德國人寧親老太婆不親我?！钡聡讼耄骸傲_馬尼亞人真狡猾，他偷著親嘴，我暗里挨打?！绷_馬尼亞人想：“我最聰明，我吻自己的手背，又打了德國人一個(gè)耳光，沒人發(fā)現(xiàn)?！?/p>

最值錢的東西

從前，有一個(gè)國王統(tǒng)率的軍隊(duì)包圍了一座城池。進(jìn)城之前，國王發(fā)布一條命令：城中的婦女皆可免于一死，明天天亮之前，可以攜帶自己最值錢的東西離開城池，國王保證大家的安全。不久，只見全城婦女人人背上都背著

一個(gè)沉重的包袱，上氣不接下氣地走出城門，一個(gè)個(gè)累得滿頭大汗。原來她們身上背的包袱里，都是自己的丈夫。

美人效應(yīng)

羅馬一家自助餐廳的老板整天苦思冥想，終于想出一個(gè)賺別人小費(fèi)的妙計(jì)。他首先請來一位非常漂亮的姑娘，坐在柜臺旁邊收錢，以便使得男客們神魂顛倒，慷慨解囊。

誰料到姑娘上班沒幾天，就對老板說：“我想，我不如以前那么漂亮了。”

老板急忙問：“這是怎么回事呢？”

“現(xiàn)在，所有的男客都在柜臺邊反復(fù)地?cái)?shù)我找給他們的零錢。”

聰明的證據(jù)

19世紀(jì)時(shí)，西方一些科學(xué)家聲稱找到了白種人比黃種人聰明的科學(xué)證據(jù)：“黃種人的頭發(fā)截面是圓的，而白種人的則是橢圓的，橢圓有兩個(gè)圓心，規(guī)畫更為不易，可見上帝是偏愛白種人的。”殊料，20世紀(jì)初，人類學(xué)家在非洲某地區(qū)發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個(gè)黑人原始部落，他們的頭發(fā)與黃種人和白種人都不一樣，是扁的。體檢

一位個(gè)頭很大的愛爾蘭青年信步走進(jìn)了一間辦公室，里面正在由軍醫(yī)進(jìn)行對警察候選人的體格檢查。

軍醫(yī)對他說：“脫下衣服來。”

“您說什么，先生？”

“把衣服脫光，快一點(diǎn)！”

青年人脫了衣服。軍醫(yī)給他量了胸圍，檢查了脊背后，命令：“跳過這根橫桿?！?/p>

青年人照著做了，結(jié)果動(dòng)作還好，但摔了個(gè)仰八叉。

“雙膝并攏，兩手觸地?！鼻嗄耆税匆笥肿隽?，因失去平衡，跌倒在地上。

待他爬起來，軍醫(yī)又命令：“在這冷水池里跳躍五分鐘?！?/p>

“這太滑稽了?！鼻嗄耆肃洁熘?。

“現(xiàn)在繞著房子跑十圈，我要檢查你的心臟和呼吸?！?/p>

青年人終于氣惱地說：“我不，我寧愿打一輩子光棍！”

軍醫(yī)一聽，困惑地問：“你這是什么意思？”

青年人說：“是的，打光棍！辦個(gè)結(jié)婚手續(xù)哪來這么多的麻煩？”

“??！”軍醫(yī)笑著向他走來，“可憐的年輕人，你走錯(cuò)辦公室了！”

傷心的故事

有三個(gè)美國人到紐約度假。他們走進(jìn)一座高層旅館，訂了一個(gè)套間。房間是在大樓的第四十五層。

傍晚，三個(gè)人外出看戲，回到旅館時(shí)已是深夜了。

“真對不起，”旅館服務(wù)員說：“今晚我們這幢大樓所有的電梯都出了毛病。若諸位不打算徒步回房間，我們會(huì)想辦法，給你們在大廳找個(gè)安頓的地方?！?/p>

“不必了，”其中一個(gè)叫湯姆的說：“太謝謝您了，我們不想在大廳里過夜。可以自己走上去?！?/p>

開始登樓了，湯姆對兩個(gè)同伴說：“爬上四十五層，可不是件容易事，不過我知道怎樣使之從難變易。一路上，我負(fù)責(zé)給你們講笑話，安迪，你唱幾支歌。還有你，彼德，給咱們講幾個(gè)有趣的故事?！?/p>

于是，湯姆講笑話，安迪唱歌，好不容易才爬到三十四層，大家都疲備不堪，決定先休息一下?！拔?，”湯姆說：“現(xiàn)在輪到你了，彼德。該給咱們講個(gè)長一點(diǎn)的故事，情節(jié)要有趣，最后來個(gè)使人傷心的結(jié)尾?！?/p>

“那我就照你們的要求，講一個(gè)使人傷心的故事?！北说抡f：“故事并不長，卻使人傷心極了：我們把房間鑰匙忘在大廳啦！”

正點(diǎn)到站

商人吉米在鐵路上做了多年的買賣，這一天他偶然發(fā)現(xiàn)一列火車很準(zhǔn)時(shí)到了站。

他急忙地跑到列車員跟前說：“請吸煙，我祝賀你！我在這條鐵路上跑了十五年，這還是第一次看見火車正點(diǎn)到站?！?/p>

“留著你的煙吧，”列車員說：“這是該昨天此時(shí)到達(dá)的車！” 遺憾

一位女士上了電車，車上座無虛席，一位先生立即起身讓坐。誰知那位女士毫無表情地入座。先生問道：

“夫人，你說什么？”

“先生，我什么也沒說?！?/p>

“夫人，真遺憾，我以為你說了聲謝謝呢。”

明天白吃

一位法國年輕人經(jīng)過外省的一個(gè)小城市，看到一家飯店的門上掛著一個(gè)牌寫道：“明天，人們在這里吃飯不用付錢?！?/p>

那位年輕人盤算著他將美美飽吃一頓。

翌日清晨，天真的年輕人走進(jìn)這家飯店：“伙計(jì)，來一杯牛奶咖啡，外加面包、黃油和干酪！”

老板瞟了他一眼，看著他陳舊的上衣和帽子想：無疑，他不是太有錢的人！老板便質(zhì)問起年輕人：“你吃飯有錢付嗎？”

“吃飯付錢？昨天我看了你們門上的招牌，上面明明寫著今天人們在這里吃飯是不用付錢的呀！”

“你真是個(gè)大笨蛋，再去看看門上寫的?！?/p>

年輕人走過去一看，只見門上掛的牌仍然寫著：“明天，人們在這里吃飯不用付錢?！?/p>

“明天，可不是今天！”

“?。‖F(xiàn)在我明白了：這里從來就沒有明天！”

酒與水

加布羅沃附近的一個(gè)村子聘請了一位老師，為村里的孩子們?nèi)谓?，言定每家每年給他兩桶白蘭地酒作為勞務(wù)酬金。

到了開始釀造白蘭地的季節(jié)，老師準(zhǔn)備了好幾個(gè)大酒缸，用來收集村民們送來的酒。全村約二百戶，共收得酒四百桶。

過了不久，老師貼出廣告，要把酒賣掉。

來了一個(gè)做酒生意的商販，舀起酒來嘗了嘗，皺起眉頭走了。

這是怎么回事？其實(shí)情況非常簡單：每一個(gè)村民都想著那么一大缸烈性白蘭地酒，摻上兩桶水誰又能嘗得出來呢？

都沒有了

一位顧客走進(jìn)一家餐館，把大衣脫下掛在衣帽間，然后坐到桌旁喊道：“來一份熟牛肉。”服務(wù)員對他說：“對不起，沒有了?！庇谑穷櫩透挠喠?/p>

一份牛排。不一會(huì)兒，服務(wù)員又空著手走出來，再次說：“對不起，沒有了！”接下去，顧客又改訂了幾樣菜，都被告知“沒有了”。顧客很氣憤，站起來說：“那好吧，請你把我的大衣拿來！”不久，服務(wù)員慢吞吞地走過來，微笑著說：“真抱歉，您的大衣也沒有了！”

仍沒法喝

麥克走進(jìn)飯店，坐了下來。他看了一下菜單，僅點(diǎn)了一個(gè)湯，正在忙碌著的服務(wù)員馬上給他端了上來。過了一會(huì)兒，他把服務(wù)員叫了過來，說：“對不起，這湯我沒法喝?！?/p>

服務(wù)員感到很奇怪，把菜單拿來，又請他點(diǎn)了一個(gè)湯。很快，湯就端來了。然而，過了一陣兒，麥克又把他叫了來：“真對不起，這湯我還是喝不了。”

服務(wù)員更感到奇怪了，這次他不再拿來菜單，而是把經(jīng)理叫了過來。經(jīng)理畢恭畢恭敬地對麥克點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭，說：“先生，這道湯是本店最拿手的，深受歡迎，難道您……”

“噢，我并沒說這湯味道有什么不好。盡管它味道鮮美，但我還是沒法喝，您看看：調(diào)羹在哪里呢？”

各付各的帳

法國一個(gè)新開張的小酒館門口，常常有些人徘徊著。這時(shí)，酒店里有個(gè)人喊道：“來呀！朋友們。我喝酒的時(shí)候，每個(gè)人都可以喝酒?！?/p>

門外那些人毫不猶豫地?cái)D進(jìn)來，像他一樣，向柜臺取了一杯威士忌，并且也像他一樣，一口氣將它喝干了。

這人又喊道：“我要再來一杯，朋友們，你們每個(gè)人也可以再來一杯?！?/p>

于是，大家都懷著激動(dòng)的心情又干了一杯，干杯時(shí)還向這人露出滿臉的微笑。

喝完后，這人從他口袋里掏出兩美元放到柜臺上，吼道：“我付賬的時(shí)候，你們也該付賬了！”

即將吵架

一個(gè)男子走進(jìn)一間酒吧對女招待說：“在吵架之前，給我來一杯可可！”

女招待慌忙遞給他一杯。幾分鐘后，那人又對女招待說：“吵架之前給我送點(diǎn)牛排和炸土豆片來。”女招待更加吃驚，但還是把菜送來了。

就這樣，二十分鐘過去了，女招待出于好奇，問道：“可是，你說的那個(gè)吵架是怎么一回事？究竟什么時(shí)候開始？”

“馬上就開始！”男人實(shí)在地回答道：“因?yàn)槲覜]錢買單?！?屠戶和律師

在美國的一個(gè)市場區(qū)一條大狼狗經(jīng)過一個(gè)屠夫的店鋪，它跳上肉臺銜走了一塊掛在鐵鉤上的肉，屠戶很快就認(rèn)出這是鄰舍一位律師的愛犬，于是徑直走到那位律師家里。

“律師先生，我想問你一件事，有一條狗偷走我店內(nèi)一大塊肉，我可以控告狗主，索回肉錢嗎？”

“當(dāng)然可以。”這位律師界的“名人”毫不遲疑地回答。

“那好。先生，是您的愛犬偷了我的肉。這是很大一塊上等精肉，足足有兩公斤重，你該付給我六美元。”

律師瞧了屠戶一眼，一語不發(fā)，很快如數(shù)付了錢。屠戶拿了錢得意忘形，三步并作兩步回到家里，一刻鐘后，他接到了這樣一封信：

“屠戶先生，你欠律師約翰先生一件普通案的咨詢費(fèi)十五美元整。限三日內(nèi)償清，否則法庭見面。” 讓神父祈禱

一艘船在航行時(shí)遇到了風(fēng)暴，船艙破損，進(jìn)水很多，船正在下沉。船長只好在風(fēng)暴中大聲問：“誰會(huì)祈禱？”

船上有一名神父自告奮勇地回答：“我會(huì)?！?/p>

船長說：“那好，你祈禱吧！我們其余人都套上救生圈，因?yàn)檎刹钜粋€(gè)救生圈?！?知識和頭發(fā)

某人跟一個(gè)面貌長得丑陋的教主打趣說：“你贊美真主，就是因?yàn)樗涯阍斓眠@么美嗎？”

教主高傲地反駁說：“我雖然長得難看，然而真主賜給我的知識，就跟你的頭發(fā)一樣多！”

對方脫下戴在頭上的帽子，笑著說：“我是個(gè)禿子，這下你怎么講？”

天國與地獄

星期天，牧師到教堂對信徒們說：“希望到天國的人，請起立！”除了 前排的一位少女外，大家全都站了起來。

“好?！蹦翈熥尨蠹易?，然后又問道：“希望到地獄去的人，請起立！”

這次沒有一個(gè)人站起來，于是牧師走近那位少女，詫異地問：“你究竟希望到哪兒去呢？”

少女很快答道：“只要留在這兒！”