第一篇：幽默短劇劇本

幽默短劇劇本

一天，老師走進(jìn)課堂，學(xué)生們一齊起立喊：“老師早上好！”

老師憤憤地說：“只叫早上好？那我下午呢？難道就不好了嗎？”

于是學(xué)生們又一齊喊：“老師下午好！”

老師又憤憤地說：“那我晚上呢？”

學(xué)生們又一齊喊：“老師晚上也好！”

老師點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭說道：“這樣才行，現(xiàn)在重新喊一遍！”

學(xué)生們一齊喊：“老師早上好，下午好，晚上也好！”

老師說道：“坐下！今天我們要復(fù)習(xí)反義詞，我們這樣練習(xí)，我說一句，你們大聲說出反義詞?，F(xiàn)在開始?！?/p>

老師：“今天天氣很好?！?/p>

學(xué)生：“今天天氣很壞?！?/p>

老師：“到處陽光明媚。”

學(xué)生：“到處陰云密布?！?/p>

老師：“馬路上人山人海?！? 學(xué)生：“馬路上空無一人?！?/p>

老師：“年輕?！?/p>

學(xué)生：“年老?！?/p>

老師：“站立?！?/p>

學(xué)生：“躺倒”

老師：“有個年輕人站立在路上?！?/p>

學(xué)生：“有個年老人躺倒在路上?！?/p>

老師：“我撿到一元錢?！?/p>

學(xué)生：“我丟了一元錢?！?/p>

老師：“我撿到一元錢，交給老師。”

學(xué)生：“我丟了一元錢，去偷老師?！?/p>

老師：“錯誤，不能這樣說！”

學(xué)生：“正確，應(yīng)該這樣說！”

老師：“錯誤?！? 學(xué)生：“正確?！?/p>

老師：“這不行，這是違法行為！”

學(xué)生：“這可以，這是合法行為！” 老師：“我說錯誤?！?/p>

學(xué)生：“我們說正確?！?/p>

老師：“聽老師的，老師說的才是正確！”

學(xué)生：“聽我們的，老師說的都是錯誤！” 老師：“你們愚蠢。”

學(xué)生：“我們聰明?！?老師：“停止！” 學(xué)生：“繼續(xù)！”

老師：“你們現(xiàn)在停止！別說了！” 學(xué)生：“我們現(xiàn)在繼續(xù)！還要說！” 老師：“你們這些蠢豬，我說停止！” 學(xué)生：“我們都是天才，我們說繼續(xù)！” 老師：“你們聽老師的！” 學(xué)生：“老師聽我們的！” 老師：“學(xué)生都得聽老師的！” 學(xué)生：“老師都得聽學(xué)生的！” 老師：“現(xiàn)在你們停止練習(xí)！”

學(xué)生：“現(xiàn)在我們繼續(xù)練習(xí)！” 老師：“你們沒完沒了了嗎？”

學(xué)生：“我們有始有終的呀！”

老師：“那你們就停止！蠢豬！”

學(xué)生：“那我們該繼續(xù)！天才！”

....之后老師怒氣沖沖地抱著書本走出了教室

丐世無雙

時間：不明 地點(diǎn)：某條繁華的大街上 人物：洪七公（H)，喬峰（Q)，跑龍?zhí)滓蝗耍≒)大體事件：兩個乞丐在街上偶遇后的一段時間里發(fā)生的故事。（出場，手拿飯缸）

H：改革春風(fēng)吹滿地，做個乞丐不容易，低三下四還受氣，還有城管來突擊！哎，這年頭，做個乞丐比大學(xué)生找工作還還難吶，這不，剛才城管那幫人又來突擊了嗎，說我們這些人除了影響市容在也沒有別的作用了，小樣地，要是我們都沒了，你們城管的不都也下崗了嗎？再說了，城關(guān)的要真把我們帶走也行，進(jìn)去了是既遮風(fēng)又避雨，還能免費(fèi)住宿，要吃有吃，要喝有喝，一群人還能在一起嘮嘮嗑，簡直就是我們向往的神仙般的生活。他們可倒好，不僅要沒收我的口糧，還要拿走我的飯缸，搶走我辛苦要來的血汗錢，還要趕出我的地盤！要不是逃跑拼了命，肯定是賠了夫人又折兵！總算跑出了他們的搜索范圍，先在這歇一會吧，哎，我就在這守缸待錢?。ǔ鰣觯帜蔑埜祝?/p>

Q：南來的北往的，東跑的西顛的，哥哥姐姐叔叔阿姨好心人可憐一下吧，我家窮人丑，一無所有，穿衣服沒袖，取暖靠抖，成天藥不離口，這輩子沒吃過豬肉。人比筷子瘦，生活過得不如狗。可憐可憐我吧?。ㄒ荒_踢到了 H的飯缸）

H：哎，你怎么回事呀，你看看，你把我這精致的飯缸給踢掉漆了，你的賠我！

Q：你當(dāng)你那破飯缸是寶馬還是奔馳阿，掉一塊漆就要賠償，你去保險公司要賠償去吧！H：看你是個窮叫花子，我也不難為你了，你就把你的飯缸再加上那里面的錢給我就行了！Q：看你說的，你瞧你那幅德行吧，咱倆好象是同行吧！我在這條街混跡好幾年了，咋從來沒見過你呢？你是不是新新新新來的阿？(H轉(zhuǎn)過身，自言自語）

H：難道他是這條街的當(dāng)家的？我得考考他（轉(zhuǎn)過身）山珍海味蘿卜白菜！Q：領(lǐng)導(dǎo)大款學(xué)生乞丐！

H：哎呀，大水沖了龍王廟，一家人不認(rèn)一家人阿。失禮了，給，這是我的片子（掏出名片）Q：不知者無罪，我也有（互換名片）

H：燈紅區(qū)酒綠街丐幫六十七分舵副總舵主--喬峰，哎呀，久仰久仰！Q：花前區(qū)月下街丐幫三十八分舵副總舵主--洪七公，幸惠幸惠！H：來來來，坐

Q：兄弟，你不在你那好好待著怎么跑到我這來了？

H：還不是城管那幫人嗎，又來突擊大檢查，不得已才跑到這來了，你這一上午收入咋樣阿？ Q：哎，別提了，一上午才要到這么點(diǎn)，這年頭，當(dāng)乞丐--難！當(dāng)一個乞丐頭目--難1 H：當(dāng)一個滿街亂跑的乞丐頭目--難！H&Q：哎

(P上場，手拿蒙牛隨變，把包裝扔到飯缸里，下場）H：哈，他把你飯缸當(dāng)垃圾桶了阿！(Q拿過包裝添了一口）H：哎，給我留一口阿！

Q：好吃！好幾天沒開葷了！爽！H：一口全讓你吃了，啥滋味阿？ Q：酸酸甜甜就是我！

H：你看現(xiàn)在這包裝，多漂亮，你看這俊男靚女，這男的多俊阿！Q：你說你咋這么孤陋寡聞呢，人家這是倆女的，你不認(rèn)識阿？人家是去年最火的超級女生--何潔和李宇春！

H：我管他什么超級男生超級女生呢，這包裝我留下了阿，有獎的，說不定中個500萬什么的，這輩子就不用當(dāng)乞丐了

Q：行，等你中獎了，中了兩頭奶牛，你就天天喝牛奶吧，洗澡你都用牛奶?。≒上場，手拿傳單，把一大把傳單扔到飯缸中，下場）

H：這小伙挺實(shí)惠阿，真會偷懶，他到省事了，這搞傳銷的都這么狡猾阿？！Q：這么沒文化呢，那叫發(fā)傳單，什么傳銷！H：阿，發(fā)傳單銷售，簡稱傳銷嘛！Q：我看看他們這是賣什么呢 H：你認(rèn)識字嗎？這都拿反了！

Q：我怎么不認(rèn)識字，我小學(xué)就過六級了！H：就你？

Q：拼音六級嘛！不是和你吹，我小學(xué)念了八年 H：喲，保送研究生了阿？

Q：看看，耐克阿迪大降價，短褲僅賣二百八！僅賣280阿，一條褲衩夠我吃三個月的飯了！H：你看你這消費(fèi)觀念就不行了吧，人家那是名牌，尤其現(xiàn)在的那些大學(xué)生，不管日子過得多辛酸，也要把那名牌穿！Q：xx鞋店瘋狂大促銷，買一送二！H：對，買一雙鞋送你兩根鞋帶！

Q：上名牌家教中介中心，為你提供各科家教，保您的孩子考上名牌大學(xué)！

H：你還不知道現(xiàn)在的家教嗎？全是大學(xué)生，是上課什么也不教，就是和你把磕嘮，費(fèi)用一分也不少，孩子成績是沒提高 Q：不看了，全是虛假廣告

H：哎，你說咱們要是也去發(fā)傳單怎么樣，一天也不少掙

Q：你可拉倒吧，就你那形象吧，人家見你躲還來不及呢，哪敢接你的傳單阿？

H：我不會包裝一下自己嘛，人家都說我長得像周潤發(fā)，其實(shí)我像劉德華。再說是在不行咱就把傳單發(fā)給咱們的弟兄唄 Q：你可別在那做夢了，這是白天沒準(zhǔn)到時候掙得還沒現(xiàn)在多呢，就像傳單上那些作虛假廣告的，沒準(zhǔn)那天就倒閉了，到時候沒準(zhǔn)成咱們小弟了(P上場，在飯缸里扔一枚硬幣，下場）H：thank you very much!Q：喲，你咋說上鳥語了阿？

H：你沒看見剛才那個人呀，黃頭發(fā)，準(zhǔn)是個外國人，沒準(zhǔn)扔進(jìn)去的是歐元呢！我可不能給咱們中國乞丐丟臉，得表示感謝阿！

Q：那可不一定，現(xiàn)在這年輕人趕時髦，染個頭發(fā)多正常阿，那一陣我在xx大學(xué)門口蹲點(diǎn)，就看見一個女的，今天是紅頭發(fā)，明天是黃頭發(fā)，后天是紫頭發(fā)，從周一到周日，赤橙黃綠清蘭紫讓他染了個遍，最后弄的那頭發(fā)和拖布似的 H：不管了，讓我看看歐圓張什么樣（H從飯缸里拿出硬幣，看一眼，扔掉）Q：咋啦？你咋把歐元扔了？讓別人撿去咋整？

H：那小子也不厚道阿，拿一個一毛的硬幣來糊弄我，那是打發(fā)要飯的呢？！現(xiàn)在一毛錢還拿得出手？在怎么的也得給5毛阿

（P上場，拿五塊錢紙幣，扔到飯缸里，拿出四個硬幣）P：哎，兄弟，不好意思，坐公交車沒零錢了，換點(diǎn)?。ㄏ聢觯〩：他能不能拿假幣來騙咱們阿？（把錢拿起來，對著燈照照）Q：那咱們咒他，他要是拿假幣騙咱們，就讓他出車禍 H：對，撞他個生活不能自理（P手拿報紙上場）

P：法制報，故事報，新出版的體育報，來看看一個二十三歲的青年為何連續(xù)六次參加高考，新入學(xué)的大學(xué)生為何把樓跳，大學(xué)食堂飯里出現(xiàn)假耗子藥，名校研究生為何殘忍虐待二十八只小貓，看一看全知道！看報看報，大學(xué)自習(xí)室吸煙為何屢禁不止，一場血案起因只是一把格尺，要想深入學(xué)習(xí)八榮八恥，快來買我的報紙 Q：給我來一份(接過報紙）H：你還看報？

Q：那是啊，得看清現(xiàn)在的社會形勢，關(guān)心國家大事（掏出一副眼鏡）H：設(shè)備挺齊全阿

Q：那是啊，這眼鏡是那天瞎貓眼鏡店清倉時買的，五塊錢，當(dāng)時老板說了，就五塊錢，多了少了都不賣，我當(dāng)時拿出十塊錢，老板說，拿零的，我沒零錢找你，我說就十塊了，要不你都拿去，老板當(dāng)時就急了，說，我多要你五塊錢算啥阿？這事要傳出去，說我多收了乞丐五塊錢，叫我以后怎么做人？ H：后來呢？

Q：后來我給了他五十個一毛的硬幣

H：你們兩都挺很，來，給我一張看看，我要文體板塊的（H掏出一個放大鏡）

Q：你別對著太陽看呀，一會燒著了！看看頭版頭條，全國各地深入學(xué)習(xí)八榮八恥，樹立社會主義榮辱觀。哎，咱們也該好好學(xué)學(xué)了，咱們這成天游手好閑，靠別人救濟(jì)吃飯，已經(jīng)成了八恥之一了阿！

H：我看中國足球更應(yīng)該學(xué)學(xué)，你看，趙本山心灰意冷，說不想再趟這塊混水。你看他們一個個錢掙得比咱們多，可腳比咱兩的臭多了 Q：可不是嘛，哎，這咋下雨了呢？ H：太好了，我好幾個月沒洗澡了！（Q的手機(jī)響）

Q：喂？喂！喂！喂？啊，什么，大點(diǎn)聲，哦，城管的來了？?。课?？喂？喂！----小靈通，信號不好，下面弟兄說，城管的過來了，咱兩快躲一躲吧

H：行，收拾一下，趕緊走（H手機(jī)響）喂？我早知道，城管要來，是吧？你怎么看的阿？消息這么慢，今天晚上沒你飯吃了！咱們快走吧

相聲《我的兒子》

牛群 馮鞏

文本：

牛：馮鞏。

馮：哎。

牛：跟你打聽個事。

馮：你說吧。

牛：喜歡錢嗎？

馮：什么錢？

牛：裝糊涂，是不是？人民幣！

馮：哦，就花的那錢。

牛：啪！給你這放上一摞錢，動心不動心。

馮：白給我？

牛：就問你，動心不動心？說實(shí)話。

馮：你小看我馮鞏了，我馮鞏是搞藝術(shù)的，真正的藝術(shù)是無價的。你一落錢就想...一落錢就想...那得看多少錢是吧。

牛：你今天是不是給我兒子壓歲錢了？

馮：不是，這不過年了嗎，我就領(lǐng)你們兒子挨屋這么一轉(zhuǎn)，你們兒子嘴甜，叔叔阿姨不停的叫，人家就...這叫勤勞致富懂嗎。

牛：哦，這么說，你一共給我兒子斂了多少錢？

馮：六百。

牛：多少錢？

馮：六百...牛：我怎么從他兜里就翻出五百呀？

馮：那一百塊錢我不是留下了嗎...不是，是我借的，我就怕別人管我叫叔叔時我沒錢，你知道嗎。

牛：我的孩子多小，你這不是害我兒子呢嗎。你給他錢越多...當(dāng)然最可氣的是姜昆。

馮：他給多少？

牛：一分錢沒給。其實(shí)呀，你別管給孩子花多少錢，只要花在孩子學(xué)習(xí)上。

馮：花多少錢我們都樂意。

牛：你看那天日子，我把我兒子就到跟前。

馮：哦。

牛：我說兒子過來，你只要考上區(qū)重點(diǎn)中學(xué)，你不是喜歡望遠(yuǎn)鏡嗎？爸爸給你買一個高倍的望遠(yuǎn)鏡。

馮：英雄所見略同。

牛：是不是。

馮：兒子，只要你考上市重點(diǎn)，只要比牛群大大那兒子高一個層次。我就給你買一個游戲機(jī)。

牛：轉(zhuǎn)天我兒子給我一個表。

馮：我也接到一張紙。

牛：我這么一看合同書，甲方牛群。乙方牛小群。如果乙方給甲方考入?yún)^(qū)重點(diǎn)中學(xué)，甲方應(yīng)給乙方買高倍望遠(yuǎn)鏡一個，折合人民幣一千元整。以次類推，如考上市重點(diǎn)兩千元，考上全國重點(diǎn)三千元，少年科技大五千元。為盡事宜雙方本著友好協(xié)商的態(tài)度解決，空口無憑，簽字畫押。

馮：我們兒子寫的就更絕了！特別強(qiáng)調(diào)，如甲方違約，須立即向乙方賠償，精神損失費(fèi)、心靈傷害費(fèi)，八百元整，如付美金，按當(dāng)日牌價，括弧不要盧布。簽約人甲方馮鞏，乙方馮小鞏。公證人，馮老鞏。連他爺爺都上來了。

牛：那天我無意當(dāng)中從我兒子的抽屜當(dāng)中翻出一價目表來。

馮：我也從他枕頭底下那出一小紙條。

牛：上面寫著，幫媽媽刷碗三毛。

馮：給爸爸拿報紙五毛。

牛：陪奶奶看動畫片，讓奶奶高興，九毛二。

馮：騎著爺爺滿屋子轉(zhuǎn)，讓爺爺鍛煉身體，一塊四毛九。

牛：你著算帳算到我們頭上了？

馮：要算帳先跟你們算算帳。

牛：過來過來過來。你聽著，要這么說，媽媽生你...多少錢？

馮：為生你，你媽媽落了一身病...多少錢？

牛：為了讓你喝上鮮奶，爸爸在樓道里養(yǎng)了兩只羊，多熱的天熏的街坊四鄰都捂著大口罩...多少錢？

馮：你欺負(fù)比你小的孩子，就為了讓你消氣，你爸爸狠狠的批評了那孩子他媽，等那孩子他爸回來，堵著咱家門，罵了三天街，你爸都不敢出門...多少錢？

牛：我老想我小時侯沒錢，我不能讓你受委屈。

馮：我們趕上十年浩劫了，不能讓你沒知識呀。

牛：為了讓你有知識，花多少錢爸爸沒猶豫過。

馮：是呀，怎么花錢越多，你怎么約沒出息呢你呀？

牛：就這么一說，我那兒子眼淚刷就下來了。

馮：我們孩子也是泣不成聲。

牛：爸爸，我以后一定好好學(xué)習(xí)。

馮：爸爸，我一定為您爭氣。

牛：我一定考全校第一。

馮：我一定考全區(qū)第一。

牛：我一定考全市第一。

馮：我一定考全國第一。

牛：到那時候爸爸給我多少錢？

馮：爸爸，我再也不要錢了，你給我弄個存折吧。

第二篇：英語幽默短劇劇本

中小學(xué)英語版情景對話

英語情景對話--交流

Getting people’s attention 引起別人注意

1.Can I talk to you ? 能和你談一下嗎?

2.Can we talk? 能一塊兒談?wù)剢?

3.Let?s talk.我們談?wù)劙伞?/p>

4.Excuse me.You got a minute? 對不起，能耽誤你一分鐘嗎?

5.May I have a word with you? 能和你說句話嗎?

Launching conversation with a piece of news.講述一條消息來打開話題

1.Listen up.聽著。

2.Now hear this!你聽著!

3.Get a load of this.你聽聽這個。(load:大量，許多)

4.Are you ready for this? 想聽著。

5.Guess what? 你猜怎么的?

Asking other people if they understand 問別人是否聽明白了

1.Do you understand? 你明白嗎?

2.Do you know that I mean? 知道我的意思嗎?

3.See what I mean? 明白我的意思嗎?

4.Do you know what I?m talking about? 知道我講的是什么嗎?

5.Know what I?m saying? 知道我在說什么嗎?

Indicating that you understand 表示明白對方的意思.1.I hear you 知道了.2.I got you.明白了.3.I can see that.這一點(diǎn)我明白.4.I hear what you?re saying.我明白你的意思.5.Okay, I know just what you mean.嗯,我明白你的意思.If you do not catch what was said 假如你沒聽清對方說的話.1.I beg you pardon? 對不起,你說什么?

2.What was that? 你說什么?

3.Say what? 你說什么?

4.Excuse me? What did you say? 對不起,你說什么?

5.I?m sorry.I missed that.對不起,我沒聽清.英語情景對話,商務(wù)英語對話I?d like some apples.2.-Where can I buy some stationery?

-Let?s look at the shopping guide.Oh, it?s on the ground Floor.3.-Could I buy half a kilo oranges?

-Certainly.Here you are.4.-Will you please show me that radio?

-Certainly.5.-How much is the radio?

-Ninety yuan.6.-Good morning, sir.May I help you? Traditional Chinese MM.太子丹：I must show you the trump card.Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea.It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荊柯（激動）：Slimming tea!I have dreamed of it for thousands of times.My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn?t reduce my weight.阿三：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I?m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take it!Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？難道你真的想要嗎……（《No matter》音樂起，荊軻先與阿三跳探戈，擁入懷中，又甩出去，阿三做嘔吐狀。然后荊軻與太子丹跳倫巴，最后太子丹擺一個女性化的造型，向后彎腰并抬其中一條腿，荊軻做調(diào)戲狀。）

荊柯(誠懇狀)Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹與阿三（撞胯，擊掌）Yeah!Action Ш（《大話西游》主題曲響起）荊珂挽著妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荊珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby.（太子丹，阿三下。停頓。《泰坦尼克號》主題曲起，荊軻與妻子做Jack和rose在船頭的經(jīng)典造型，忽然荊軻看到一個美女——此時一個中國古典美女經(jīng)過，向荊軻拋媚眼，并拋下定情手絹。荊軻高興的盯著美女看，妻子發(fā)覺不對，扭過頭來。）

荊珂（急忙收斂）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救贖》）荊珂(流淚)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.(哪怕是世界末日我都會愛著你，選自《飄》)妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.荊珂（欲走還留，執(zhí)子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克號沉船時，Jack對Rose的傾訴）.妻子:“I promise.” 荊軻:“Never let go.“

妻子:”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go.“（荊軻的發(fā)音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克號》的臺詞。）妻子努力擠出幾滴眼淚，荊珂上船，漸漸遠(yuǎn)去

妻子：It?s a good day to die.Never come back.Never…… Never……

妻子(掏出手機(jī)撥號，阿三接手機(jī))： Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.阿三：Okay okay!旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.英語幽默情景短劇

A Beautiful Trap英語話劇劇本

兩位女大學(xué)生出去找兼職，卻被欺騙。Cast Gwen: Senior high school student Rita: Mom / Customer A Fanny: Waitress Ivy: Gwen’s friend

David: Father / Customer B Willie: Boss------------------SCENE I Father and Mother are at home.Gwen just gets home.Gwen: I’m home, Mom, Dad.Mom: How’s your day, Gwen?

Gwen: Not bad.I’m tired of taking buses to school every day.Father: Why? Gwen: The bus is so crowded every morning.Mom: I don’t understand.What’s your point? Gwen: I want to buy a motorcycle-a Harley.Father: What！Harley!Are you insane? Mom:(to father)Calm down.(to Gwen)I understand your situation.I would agree if you want to buy a normal motorcycle, but Harley!Forget it.Gwen: But I want it so much.I’ve always wanted one.Father: OK.I can contribute some for the motorcycle, but you have to pay the rest yourself.Mom: I agree with your dad.Gwen: Oh!Yes!Are you sure? But I don’t have any money to pay for it!Father: You can use your New Years’ Red Envelope money or find a part-time job.Gwen: Hey, it sounds like a great idea to get a part-time job.Mom: You have to keep your eyes open when you look for a part-time job.Gwen: Don’t worry.I’ll be careful.Father: I can give you some advice and experience.When I was a teenager, I used to work as a porter.It was very tough, but I learned how to be responsible and how to use time.So will you.(change of tone)I remember I almost lost my life one day.Gwen: Thanks, Dad.I think I can handle it.I’ll be careful.SCENE II Gwen: Ivy, I want to find a part-time job.Are you interested in getting one for yourself, too? Ivy: It sounds great!I can search on the Internet for job opportunities.Gwen: Then I can look at the ads in the newspaper.(After 2 to 3 minutes)Gwen: Look!Here’s something interesting.It looks good.Ivy: Let me see...let’s make a phone call to see what the job is about.(Phone rings.Gwen and Ivy are calling the “I Need You” Company.)Boss: This is “I Need You” company!May I help you?

Ivy: I need a part-time job, and I saw your ads in the newspaper, so ? Boss: I see!Could you come to our company this Wednesday afternoon? Ivy: What? Boss: Oh!We’d like to interview you personally.Ivy: Is it alright if my friend comes along? Boss: No problem.You and your friend can come together.Ivy: Thank you.Bye.Boss: You’re welcome.See you!(hangs up.)Gwen: What did he say? Ivy: He said we can have interviews this Wednesday afternoon.Gwen: Great!Let’s do it.We can meet there.Ivy: I’m a little bit nervous.Gwen: It’ll be fine.Don’t worry.SCENE III(Wednesday afternoon, Gwen and Ivy are at the “I Need You” Company.They enter the company.)Boss: Hi, nice to meet you!Have a seat!Take it easy.O.K.!First, do you have any work experience? Gwen: No.Ivy: Me, either.Boss: That’s O.K.You’re just what our company needs.You can learn on the job.Second, do you have any talents? Like dancing or singing? Ivy: Well?.Gwen: I love singing.My friend says I sing well.Boss: Very good!Ivy: May I ask what this job is about? What do you want us to do? Boss: It’s easy.You just need to sing and chat with customers.They might give you some extra tips if they like you.Gwen: Oh!It sounds great!I can get a lot of money!I’ll take this job!What do you think, Ivy? Ivy: Umm...but I’m not good at singing or dancing.Boss: It’s O.K.!Fanny? Fanny: Yes.Boss: She can teach you how to do this job well.It’s not hard.Gwen: How about the salary? Boss: Ha, ha!As to the salary, I won’t disappoint you.I promise you’ll be a rich girl in a few days.(shows a cunning smile)Ivy: I don’t think I can do it.It sounds fishy to me.I think we should ask more about what exactly we have to do.Gwen: Come on!Take it easy.It’s a good opportunity.We’ll make a lot of money.Just think about the money!Ivy: No, I’m sorry.I guess the job is not for me.Gwen: All right!Suit yourself.Ivy: Good luck.Bye.(exits)Fanny: Hi.Hmm?(looks at Gwen from head to toes)I think I’ll change the way you look, O.K.?(She starts to change Gwen’s hair style and her clothes and shoes;she also puts make-up on Gwen)

SCENE IV(Gwen’s first day of work at a bar)

Customer A: Wow, Fanny!Look at that girl!What a cute girl!Customer B: I’ve never seen her before.Who is she? Fanny: This is Gwen.It’s her first day here.Gwen: Hi.(She appears shy and uneasy.)Customer A: Come sit beside me.Customer B: Dance with me.(They both drag Gwen’ arms.)

Gwen: Umm? What’s this all about? What’s going on?(Gwen starts to cry and turns to run away.)Fanny: Wait, wait!Stop it!Come back!Hey, what are you doing? Gwen: That man touched my butt.Fanny: So what? It’s no big deal.Take it easy.No matter what they do to you, you should always show respect to them and obey them.Gwen:(Sobs)Oh!The job is so different from what I have thought.I can’t do it!I can’t stand it!I want to quit!

SCENE V At Gwen’s home

Gwen: I can’t believe this.Darn!How stupid I was.It‘s disgusting.(Gwen’s still crying.)Mom: What’s wrong with you, honey?

Gwen: It’s terrible.I don’t know how to tell you.Father: What’s the problem? Tell us.Gwen: I got a part-time job the other day.And today was my first day of work.I thought they just want me to be a performer, singing some songs and dancing for other people.But the customers there harassed me.They were evil.They touched me and it made me feel awful.I couldn’t do it, so I ran away.Mom: What? Why did you choose this kind of jobs? Are you blind? Are you that stupid? Father: Calm down, both of you!You have to remember this experience.You should be careful when you choose a job.Didn’t I tell you that?

Mom: If you have troubles finding a job, we’ll help you look for one from the Internet or newspapers.Father: It’s O.K.now.Stop it.Gwen: Thank you so much, Mom and Dad.I love you.Mom: We love you, too, honey.J

別摸我英語話劇劇本

Don't Touch Me!Vicky和Lisa是某餐館的服務(wù)員，一天，一個顧客對Vicky....人物 Allen Jim Kuki Fenix Vicky Lisa------------------Cast 1.Vicky︰a waitress at Monday’s restaurant.She is a hard working girl.2.Lisa︰another waitress at Monday’s restaurant.She is a kind and naive girl.3.Fenix︰one of customers.He’s a very ill-natured customer.4.Allen and Tim︰customers at Monday’s restaurant.They’re good and decent men.5.Kuki︰the boss of the restaurant.Scene I(One afternoon, there are many customers at the Monday’s restaurant.)Vicky and Lisa talk and go to the kitchen, and then the boss, kuki, comes in, too.Kuki: Hey, there are many customers today.Girls, work hard.Remember, God gives all things to industry.Lisa: Yeah.I know.Vicky: We will do our best.The door opens now.Two men come in.Kuki moves to the door.Kuki: May I help you, sir? Two people? Come with me, I will take you to the table.Allen: Yes, pleases.Tim: I’m starving.I hope I can eat the best food in this restaurant right now.Kuki:(laughing)Just a moment.Two men walk in the restaurant.Lisa walks toward them.Vicky: This is the menu, sirs.Allen＆Tim: Thank you.After a few minutes.Lisa and Vicky walk to the kitchen.Lisa: Hey, Vicky.I don’t like that customer.See, that man sits near the door.Vicky: Why? Does he make any troubles for you? Lisa: I don’t know.I feel??.Oh, I just don’t like the way he looks at me.Scene II Vicky delivers a dish to the table where Allen and Tim sit.Vicky:(talks to herself)Lisa is right.The way that man looks at me makes me uncomfortable.Vicky delivers a dish again to Fenix’s table.Vicky: Here is your meal, sir.Enjoy it, please.Vicky turns to the kitchen.At this moment, Fenix touches her back!Vicky: Wow~~~~(she screams.)Kuki:(runs to Vicky)what happened? Vicky: He, he??He touched me!Fenix: No！I didn’t.Lisa: You lie！I see you did that.What I say is an absolute truth.Other customers gather around them to see what is happening.Kuki: Well, seeing is believing, sir??

Fenix: I feel humiliated.So, boss.You must solve this problem.Look at your Waitress.They are such tricky women.Kuki: But, they say you did it???.Sir, I think??.Fenix: What? You mean I am a pervert? Oh???Is this the way you serve your customers? You must give me an explanation today!Maybe giving me some money will make me forget it.Lisa: You are a shameless cheater, liar.The argument continues.Scene III Allen and Tim are angry for what they saw.Allen: I won’t tolerate your behavior anymore.Tim: That’s right.Come on, sir.It’s your fault.We all know that.Fenix: Hmn? You think so? But I don’t think so.I mean, if the boss and the waitresses make an apology to me, I might leave early.Or I will stay and make sure that no other customers walk inside the restaurant.Kuki: Oh??Don’t do that, please.Sir, you have to know it won’t do you any good.Fenix: Yeah??it won’t do me any good unless you pay me some money for the humiliation you have caused me.You have disgraced me.Tim: Such a liar, I can’t believe it！Fenix: Mind your own business.Allen:(Takes out his badge.)See.Fenix: Uh??

Allen: I’m a police officer.Maybe you know what I’ll do with you.Fenix turns to the door quickly.Everybody in the restaurant all claps and cheers for Allen.Lisa: There is very few good people in our society.Many bad people bully the weak and fear the strong.Tim: Yeah??.but trust me, justice will win.Kuki: We are so lucky you are here.Thank you very much.Allen: You are welcome.It’s just my duty.臭腳的故事》英語話劇劇本

A Story about Love and Stinky Feet 超級搞笑，哈哈哈 從前，一個巫婆有一雙臭腳，人們都很討厭。所以，她想找一個人換掉她的雙腳。有一天她來到”香國"。她發(fā)現(xiàn)，人人都有雙香腳。一天王子午睡，巫婆用自己的臭腳換了王子的香腳。

有一位公主，她總是失眠。雖然國王和王后在嘗試了很多方法，她還不能睡覺。國王和王后陛下非常擔(dān)心自己的女兒。

最后，他們就發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個方法：每當(dāng)公主無法入睡，她只需要嗅覺王子的臭腳，然后她將睡得很好。

最后王子和公主很幸福的生活在一起。人物

Ada: Little girl Candy: Queen Evander: King Evelyn Joel: Prince Rita: Singer /Woman Yilina: Witch------------------

Summary Once upon a time?A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.And one day she flied to “Fragrance Country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.At that time, the witch exchanged her own stinky feet with the prince’s fragrant feet.There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty Country”.Although the king and the queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep.The king and the queen were very worried about their daughter.And then, they discovered a perfect method for the princess to fall asleep: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, she only had to smell the prince’s stinky feet, and then she would sleep very well.In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.SCENE I(One afternoon, a girl, Ada, is reading a book)Ada: Oh~ what an interesting story!Once upon a time?A witch had a pair of stinky feet.They smelt worse than stinky tofu.They were very disgusting.So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.Ada: And one day she flied to “Fragrance country”.She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet.And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet.The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.Witch:（screaming and laughing and dancing）I’m the most perfect witch who has both beauty and intelligence.More and more people fall for my?my ? feet!Oh no, my feet!I’m such a charming witch, but why do my feet stink so much? Everyone faints when they smell my feet.The smell of my feet can kill mice.Oh, I don’t want to live.I want to fly away!（Flying to the Fragrance country）

Witch:(Crying)I hate my feet!I hate my feet!(in a low voice)Ha-ha, what’s the smell? It smells so sweet.(Searching)Oh.What a handsome boy.(Come closer and take a deep breath)Oh, oh, oh, why do his feet have such a sweet smell? It’s just not fair!(Angrily)Not fair!Look, he’s sleeping and snoring.Let me exchange my feet with his!(Doing magic and laughing loudly)Oh, my feet.You smell so sweet!Now I’m really the most charming witch.(Fly away)Prince:(Asleep and dreaming)Oh!What a beautiful girl you are!You are my only one – my dear princess.Prince:(Wake up!)Oh~ what’s wrong? What a bad smell！The room smells of stinky tofu.Is it my table? My hand? My chair? My head? Or my window? Oh no!It’s my feet.I have a pair of stinky feet.How did it happen?(Hold on to his head.)(Run away)I can’t believe it!

SCENE II(The prince is walking and sees some crows on the way.)Prince: Oh~ there are many crows.Crow A: Please go away?

Crow B: Quickly!It’s full of bad smell here.Crows: We are going to die, because your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Oh!I am so sorry?My feet cause you much trouble?Sorry~!(Prince continues to walk.He sees some flowers.)Prince: Hum~ I like the perfume of flowers.Flower A: Oh!I can’t live without fresh air.Flower B: Keep your feet far away from us, please.Flowers: Your feet are too disgusting.Prince: Why does everyone dislike me? I am so sad and I am sorry for making you feel bad.(Prince continues to walk.)Prince: What can I do? I want my sweet-smelling feet back.(Many strangers are buying from vendors on the road.)Stranger A: Did you step in something? Check your shoes.Stranger B: Oh!Don’t talk nonsense.Stranger C: I know where that bad smell comes from.It’s him./span> Prince: I can’t believe it!My disgusting feet have magic power！Queen: Oh!Don’t say that!They are not disgusting at all.Congratulations!You are going to marry my dear daughter.King: Yes!This is a happy ending.Ada: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, all she had to do was to smell the prince’s stinky feet.And then, she would sleep very well.In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.

第三篇：短劇劇本

小紅帽英文小劇本 Little Red Riding Hood

第一場：Little Red Riding Hood家

Mum：(媽媽拿著一個籃子，把桌紫的水果放在籃子里）

Little Red Riding Hood:(唱著歌，歡快地跑進(jìn)來）Hi,mummy, what are you doing? Mum：（一邊把水果放在籃子里，心事重重地說）Grandma is ill.Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma.Take them to Grandma.Little Red Riding Hood：（邊提起籃子，邊點(diǎn)頭說）Ok!Mum：（親切地看著Little Red Riding Hood說）Be good.Be careful.Little Red Riding Hood： Yes ,mummy．Goodbye, mummy.Mum： Bye-bye.Darling.第二場：在路上

(一陣輕快的音樂遠(yuǎn)而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎著籃子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁)Little Red Riding Hood： Wow！Flowers, how beautiful!（放下籃子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers.Wolf：（隨著一陣低沉的音樂，Wolf大步地走上臺）I am wolf.I am hungry.(做找東西狀,東張西望)Here is a little red riding hood.Hi!Little Red Riding Hood.Where are you going?(做狡猾的樣子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼)Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辮子，天真地回答)To Grandma?s．Grandma is ill.Wolf：（自言自語）I' ll eat Grandma.But……（對Little Red Riding Hood說）Hey, look!6 little baby ducks.Little Red Riding Hood：(和6只鴨子隨著音樂翩翩起舞)Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大樹后）Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello!Baby ducks，how are you? Six Ducks：We? re fine．Thank you． Where are you going? Little Red Riding Hood：To Grandma?s．Oh, I must go, bye.Six Ducks：Goodbye．

第三場：Grandma家 Grandma：（喘著氣出場，顫顫悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床邊，喘了幾口，打幾個哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。）Wolf：（從樹后出來，邊走邊說）I am very hungry now.(做找尋的樣子)Where is Grandma? s house?(高興地對觀眾說)Aha , it?s here.(敲門)Bang, Bang, Bang． Grandma： Who is it？ Wolf：（裝出Little Red Riding Hood的聲音，一邊得意地?fù)u動尾巴，一邊說）It?s me.Little Red Riding Hood.Grandma：(邊說邊起床)Come in, come in.Wolf：(得意洋洋地走到床邊)Grandma , I?ll eat you.Grandma：（驚慌失措地抓緊衣服，瞪著眼睛，邊叫迫從床上滾到地上）灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翹起大拇指）Yummy！I?ll sleep.Little Red Riding Hood：(高興地敲門)Grandma．Grandma． Wolf：(裝扮成Grandma的聲音)Who is it？

Little Red Riding Hood：It?s me。Little Red Riding Hood.What a strange noise!Wolf：Come in，Come in.Little Red Riding Hood：(蹦跳著進(jìn)來，把籃子放在桌子上，走到床前一看，跳回幾步)Oh!What are big ears!Wolf：I can listen to your sweet voice.Little Red Riding Hood：Wow!What a big eyes!Wolf：I can see you pretty face.Little Red Riding Hood：Oh!What a big hand.Wolf：I can hug you.Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，邊摸邊說）Look!What a big hands? Wolf：(從床上跳起來說)I can eat you!Little Red Riding Hood：(拼命地跑)Oh！No!No!Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃狀，拍拍肚子說）It?s delicious.I still sleep.I like sleeping.Hunter：(一邊拿著槍，一邊做尋找狀出場)Where?s the wolf? Look!A door．(推門)The wolf is sleeping.Wolf：(發(fā)出呼呼的響聲)Hunter：(端起槍想打，又放下)What a big stomach!(摸摸Wolf的肚子)Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood are inside.I must be hurry．(從桌紫拿起剪刀，舉起)Look!Scissors.(做剪Wolf的肚子)Cut, cut, cut.Little Red Riding Hood/Grandma：Thank you．

Hunter： Grandma ,give me some needles and thread． Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones． Grandma：(從桌紫拿來針線)Little Red Riding Hood：(搬來幾個石頭)One, two, three.Hunter：(把小石頭裝進(jìn)Wolf的衣服里)Grandma： I'll thread it.Hunter：(拿起槍)Woke up!Wolf：(起床，兩手托著大肚子)My stomach is so heavy.Hunter： You big bad wolf, raise your arms!Wolf：(邊跑邊說)Help!Don?t shot me!Hunter：（開槍）Bang, bang!Wolf：(應(yīng)聲倒下)Hunter： The bad wolf is dead．

Little Red Riding Hood和Grandma：Yeah!Thank you．

Little Red Riding Hood、Grandma、Hunter（一起鞠躬）: Thank you

Global warming A． Class begins, good afternoon everyone.B． C.D ：Good afternoon, teacher.A.First, I will ask you a question: What is the serious problem nowadays ? B.I think it?s the problem of environment pollution.A.It?s related to our correct answer.But it isn?t correct one.B.Is it the problem of population increasing? A.No.C.Oh.I got it.It?s global warming.A.Right!Global warming is one of the serious problems nowadays.Because……

B.Teacher.I have a question.It was very cold indeed this winter.I think it?s global cooling!

A.You got the wrong concept.Global warming doesn?t only mean that the weather is getting hot, but also mean that the weather is out of control.So it will be sometimes very cold.B.Teacher.What causes “ global warming”?

C.I know.Now people drive too many cars and the exhaust gases discharged by the cars and lorries pollute the air and also destroy the nature.It causes global warming.A.You are right.Do you know what will happen with the global warming? B.Yes.The ices in South Pole are going to be melted and at the time, many islands will be gradually flooded with water.Human will have no places to live.C.Surely, we don?t want that will happen.A.What sould we do to stop “Global warming”?

B.I think we can protect the environment from ourselves.We can plant trees C.When we are protecting the environment, we are saving ourselves.A.Ok.Students, we can?t only speak but not do later.Let us go planting trees.D.Oh, teacher!Tomorrow is March the twelfth, it?s tree-planting day!A.Yes!Now all of you know the importance of protecting the environment.B．C．D．Let us do our best to stop “Global warming” and make our earth a lovely homeland!

A.That is good.I hope you all will be succeeded in protecting the environment.Now the class is over bye-bye students!B.C.D.good bye.Teacher.《白雪公主》英語話劇劇本

SW-白雪公主Q-皇后 M-魔鏡 H-獵人P-白馬王子 D-小矮人音樂起，旁白

A long time ago, In a beautiful kingdom, there lived a young king and queen, the people loved them so much;the queen died while giving birth to a girl, her name was Snow White, She was a beautiful princess.Year passed, the king got married again, The people didn?t love the new queen, because she was cruel.One day, In the king?s palace:----白雪出場

S.w: My name is Snow white , I am a beautiful princess, I miss my mother so much, Where is my mother ? Where is my mother ? 音樂起，皇后、魔鏡出場

Q: I am a queen , I?m very beautiful , Where is Mirror ? Mirror , Mirror on the wall , who?s the most beautiful ? M: Snow white is much more beautiful than you!Q: Hunter, go kill Snow white.獵人出場

H: Yes, my queen 音樂起，獵人追趕白雪，公主驚慌出逃

S.w: Help me ,help me, please, please!白雪順利脫逃后

S.w: I am tried and hungry, oh, there is a little house , I will eat a little and lie down.D: 1Look, somebody ate my food----2Somebody drank my water----3Someone is sleeping now----4What a beautiful girl!----小矮人睡覺----音樂起公主先醒了----小矮人醒了----對話 5How do you do? S.w: How do you do? My name is Snow white … Nice to meet you!D:（齊說）Nice to meet you ,too----6 welcome to our house!----7Would you like to live here? S.W: My pleasure, thank you very much!D: Let?s go out for our work, bye-bye, Snow white.皇后、魔鏡出場

Q: Mirror, mirror on the wall , who?s the most beautiful? M: Snow white is much more beautiful than you!Q: What ? Snow white is not dead ? Hahaha, I got a good idea!

音樂起，皇后扮演老太太出場，對話 Q: Apple ,apple, beautiful apple, S.w: Hello, Good morning grandma!Q: pretty girl ,would you like a bite? S.w: Oh, yes ,thank you grandma!

白雪公主咬一口后倒地 Q: The girl is dead!Hahaha… 小矮人出場、圍著公主哭

Snow white wake up, wake up… 音樂起，小矮人引著王子出場

P: A beautiful girl!She shall be my queen!王子喚醒公主，公主醒了

P：Wake up!Wake up , my queen!S.w: Thank you for your help!P: My pleasure!音樂起，小矮人、公主、王子跳起歡快的舞

音樂起，7個小矮人出場，Big words of western tour（大話西游）

Chapter 1 Site：The wedding

Characters:牛魔王、至尊寶、紫霞、小妖 Aside: The story begins with a wedding.The Bull King is going to have a concubine.牛：Today is my wedding.I am going to have a concubine.Ha ha ha …….妖：Concubine? Dose your wife agree to it? 牛：Oh!She is not lovely anymore.She?s right now at the Flame Mountain.She can do nothing about it!(至尊寶從后臺走入人群中)牛：Let me introduce my brother to you!My brother!Come here!This is my brother.(牛深情地轉(zhuǎn)向紫霞)牛：Zixia, listen to me.I think I ?ve fallen in love with you once I know you.I want to show my sincerity.So I request you to marry me in front of my bros.This Pandora?s Box is my gift to you.I hope you would say yes.妖：I object!牛：What? 妖：Zixia has a means to test her lover.If you can pass it, I will shout up!至：What?s this? Really?

妖：This test is that she would marry the guy who can make her Magic Sword go out of the scabbard.(劍從至的懷中落下)妖：Magic Sword? 牛：Let me do this!(紫跑出，拾劍)紫：It?s not true!It?s just a joke.It is still meaningless even if you can put it out!(紫跑下)妖：King, Iron Fan Princess has come.牛：Aaa……(牛驚慌地跑下)Aside: The monkey king leaves the front hall, running to back garden……

Chapter 2 Site: Bull King?s back garden

Characters: 至尊寶、紫霞（至跑過來，突然看到紫獨(dú)自坐在臺階上，于是走過來）

至：Why are you hiding here?(紫抽劍，指向至。兩人定格，至走出來，獨(dú)白)至：At this time, the blade is really close to me, 0.01 cm I think.But after a short period of time, 0.01 second I think, the owner of the sword will fall for me whole-heartedly.Because I?ve decided to tell lies, I?ve told many lies in my life, but I think it is the most wonderful lie!紫：I?ll kill you if you come closer!

至：You should kill me!Kill me!I?d found my best love, but I didn?t treasure her.I left regretful after that.It?s the ultimate pain in the world.Just cut my throat, please don?t hesitate!If God can give me a chance, I will tell her there words.“I love you”.If God wants to give a time limit, I?ll say this love will last 10 thousand years!（紫長嘆，拋劍，拾劍，抱劍）紫：What can you tell your wife? 至：I have to tell her the truth.So I must get the Pandora?s Box back.Then go back with you and explain everything.But I hate myself that I can?t get the box back.I …… 紫：I help you!至：No, it?s dangerous!紫：You don?t want to? 至：I do!But ……

紫：I trust you!I?ll get the Pandora?s Box back tonight.Wait for me here at midnight.(豬喊)至：Let me do something to my boss first.See you tonight.（依依不舍）Aside: The night …… Chapter 3 Site: Dungeon

Characters: 至尊寶、豬八戒、沙僧、唐僧 豬和沙：Master, master(兩人同時悄聲說)豬：We come to save you.沙：We come to bring you out.唐：I won?t go.豬和沙：Stay here? Why? 唐：There?re full of obstacles in the way of getting scriptures.This is because we?re not united enough.So we let the devils do bad to us.That?s fine.This prison has no difference with the outside world, to me;the outside world is just a bigger prison.You go out first.I have something to tell him.(豬和沙下)唐：You come in and have a sit!至：To be honest, I?m not your disciple.I don?t want to be your disciple.Master I know you?re a good guy.Please let me go!唐：Do you know “dong , dong, dong ……”? 至：What is “dong, dong, dong”?

唐：“dong, dong, dong ……” is ……

(唐唱Only you)至：Stop.Stop.I can?t take this anymore, please stop …… 唐：Ohoh ……

至：Damn you, you … I?ve said I can?t take this anymore.Don?t disturb or I?ll kill you.唐： Monkey King, you can kill me.Life and death are very minor.When you know why you should make sacrifices, you will come back and sing this song with me.Namonitabhaya …(至跑走)Aside: The Monkey King succeeds in escaping form the Bull King, and he reaches the Spiders? Cave with the Grapes.Unfortunately, the Monkey King and his friends meet the Queen of Spider.The Monkey have heard that if the blade slashed fast and accurately, the guy who?s cut open won?t die at once.He can still see.So he asks the Queen of the Spider to kill him as fast as she could and to tear his heart out and let him have a look.After the Monkey King?s death, he appears in the Hole of Waterfall …

Chapter 4 Site: The Hole of Waterfall

Characters: 至尊寶、觀音 至：Goddess.I?m about to understand your words.I used my eyes to see in the past.What I was dying.I started using my heart to see this world.Then I could see all things clearly.That girl …h(huán)as left a drop of tear in my heart.I felt her sorrow.觀：Have you given up all things in human world? 至：Yes!Life and death is just minor!…… But I don?t understand why can human?s hatred last 10 years, 50 years, and even 500 years.What hatred is it? 觀：So that Tang Monk went to the west and got scriptures, which clean out hearts.至：OK, I want to stay here, there are many things waiting for me to do.觀：I want to warn you again.After wearing the gold ring, you?re no longer a normal human.You can?t have human desires anymore.If you do so, the gold ring will get smaller and smaller.It?s very uncomfortable.至：OK.觀：Before wearing the ring, what do you want to say? 至：I had had found my best love, but I didn?t treasure her.When I lost her, I regret.It?s the most pain in the world.If God can give me another chance, I will say there words to her “I love you”!If there is a time limit, I hope, it is 10 thousand years.

第四篇：搞笑短劇劇本

《茶葉蛋與愛情》

第一幕

在那個炎熱而充滿激情的夏天，經(jīng)過無數(shù)次課間的小紙條，郭建國終于和李阿芳在一起了。

經(jīng)歷了六月高考后，阿芳迎來了她的錄取通知書，而建國也...落榜了，于是他們不得不面臨分隔兩地，這一天郭建國送李阿芳去她夢想中的高等學(xué)府“湖南財政經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)院”。

李阿芳：國，我就要去讀大學(xué)了，你在磚廠要好好干，我畢業(yè)了就嫁你。

郭建國：芳，你放心，我不會辜負(fù)你的期望的，等你回來了我就一定是這旮旯最大磚廠的老板了，到時我會調(diào)八輛拖拉機(jī)去娶你的。

李阿芳：國，我選你。

郭建國：芳，我也選你。

進(jìn)入大學(xué)，阿芳和劉思思分到一個寢室，對于這個地道的本地人，阿芳感到深深的自卑，雖然陌生的人陌生的城市，但是阿芳并不孤單，她和她的建國哥每天都要打一通電話。這天郭建國打來了電話。

李阿芳：國，城里人真的好奇怪，就一大鍋菜硬是被他們整成了火鍋，一點(diǎn)青菜豆腐賣的那么貴。我覺得那會高中你揣在兜里的地瓜最香了。

郭建國：芳，你別整城里人那套，不要學(xué)壞了。

李阿芳：我知道，你好好干，不說了，話費(fèi)老貴了。

郭建國：芳，我選你。

李阿芳：我也選你。

劉思思：你和誰打電話呢？

李阿芳：我男朋友。

劉思思：你就有男朋友了，真快啊。

李阿芳：我們高中就在一起了，他對我特好。

劉思思：他在哪個學(xué)校讀書?。?/p>

李阿芳：哪能，現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)在工作了呢。

劉思思：工作了？他做什么的？

李阿芳：就...就....那個，幫別人工作唄，具體我也不清楚。我下去吃飯了。劉思思：等一下，我和你一起下去嘛，那個，聽說最近隔壁班的周帥富對你蠻殷勤的，你要小心點(diǎn)啊，他這個人仗著有點(diǎn)小錢不知道勾搭過多少女孩子了，再說你不是有男朋友嗎，就不要和他弄得太曖昧了

李阿芳：我知道的啦，我又不是那種貪慕虛榮的女孩子

第二幕

幾天后（阿芳在宿舍興高采烈的哼著歌）

劉思思：阿芳，你現(xiàn)在和周帥富怎么回事啊，白天眉來眼去晚上電話不斷的 李阿芳：額，我覺得我現(xiàn)在對他有感覺了

劉思思：不要開玩笑了，他這人就沒認(rèn)真過

李阿芳：說不定這次就認(rèn)真了呢

劉思思：你看上他哪里了啊，除了有點(diǎn)錢哪里就吸引你了

李阿芳：人家可是個高富帥呢

劉思思：你男朋友怎么辦？

李阿芳：我愿意坐在寶馬車?yán)锟抟膊幌朐谧孕熊嚿闲?/p>

劉思思：唉，過得開心快樂不就好了嘛

李阿芳：沒錢哪來的快樂

劉思思：你高興就好吧

李阿芳：恩恩

這一天阿芳又接到周帥富的電話

阿芳：喂

周：阿芳，是我阿芳：恩恩，我知道

周：周末有事么

阿芳：周末哦，我想想啊

周：帶你去吃茶葉蛋

阿芳：茶葉蛋好貴啊，歐巴，我們還是不要去吃茶葉蛋了啦

周：沒事，天空飄來五個字，錢就不是事兒

阿芳：kdie

這時接到男友電話

阿芳：喂

郭：阿芳，你在干嘛呢？

阿芳：還能干嗎，在寢室唄

郭：哦，那也好那也好，我跟你說啊，我今天搬了十拖拉機(jī)的磚，賺了五十幾塊錢呢，過幾天就發(fā)工資了，到時我又可以寄錢你了，你上次不是看中了那條38塊的裙子么，你去買回來啊，你要多吃點(diǎn)······

阿芳：哎呀，行了行了知道啦（嘀咕：50塊還不夠人家吃個茶葉蛋呢）

在吃完茶葉蛋后

周：有男朋友么

阿芳：男朋友哦，人家還沒有唉

周：那做我女朋友吧

阿芳：kdie

在光棍節(jié)前一天，阿芳提前給郭建國發(fā)了一短信

“國，提前祝你光棍節(jié)快樂”

“我不是有你么”

“在發(fā)這條短信的時候就不是了”

“我們不是好好的么，昨天我媽媽還問起你了呢，說等你畢業(yè)了就把家里那三間茅草屋給我做新房，我爸爸的單車也給我，咱們有房有車了你咋還不要俺了呢” “不是因為你沒錢，你別想多了，不是因為錢”

“我沒說錢啊”

“說了不是錢”

“額，你還敢再明顯點(diǎn)么”

“國，我要的是一個高富帥，你卻注定是一個屌絲，懷念十個月零三天八小時所有的美好時光，很遺憾，放開我———是你唯一能我做的，希望以后的你是快樂的，我的高中男生”

“咋還整上李亞鵬那套了，不就是分手么，我知道了，劈腿雖易，享受不易，且行其珍惜?。　?/p>

從此以后，阿芳和周帥富過上了想象中的生活

一開始他們是這樣的周：帶你去泡吧吧

阿芳：kdie，歐巴

周：帶你去世界之窗玩玩？

阿芳：kdie，歐巴

周：買衣服化妝品

阿芳：kdie,歐巴

周：香港迪斯尼走走？

阿芳：kdie，歐巴

然后他們是這樣的阿芳：國，我好想你，你在干嘛呢

周：玩游戲呢，等會再說

阿芳：今天肚子好疼，都沒去上課

周：那今天晚上自助餐還去不去了

阿芳：額

阿芳：你到底愛我嗎

周：干嘛整這套，且行且珍惜

阿芳:我們以后會結(jié)婚嗎

周：你俗不俗，戀愛這么神圣的事都讓你整俗了

第三幕

而在和阿芳分手后，郭建國在磚廠做事越來越?jīng)]有動力，他總是想起曾經(jīng)和李阿芳的山盟海誓，而一想到李阿芳他的小心臟就一陣陣的抽的疼，他覺得他的感情和自尊被阿芳無情的碾壓了，而且在碾壓后還被分袋封裝丟棄的到處都是，他再也受不了，他決定去找阿芳理論。（他在寢室下面攔住了剛和劉思思逛完街回來的阿芳）

郭建國：阿芳····

李阿芳：你怎么又來了？

郭建國：阿芳，為什么？為什么？為什么？你真的不愛我了嗎？你忘記當(dāng)年在幽幽谷我們許下的諾言嗎？山無棱，天地合.....李阿芳：乃敢與君絕。

郭建國：看，你還記得。

李阿芳：誰還沒看過十幾遍的還珠格格啊，你果然還是太天真了。

這時周帥富的電話來了

李阿芳：obba，有事嗎？

周帥富：今晚7點(diǎn)7天見。

李阿芳：啊？什么？7天見？

周帥富：對，不見不散。（掛電話）

李阿芳：那個，那個，喂....郭建國：你居然還跟人去7天？

李阿芳：我沒有。

郭建國：（盯著李阿芳）

李阿芳：我沒有！

郭建國：你說你的節(jié)操去哪了？

李阿芳：節(jié)操在這呢！

郭建國：你看看你現(xiàn)在的樣子，lv的包，迪奧的鞋，手里還一土豪金，跟人講話那得瑟勁，這還是那同桌的你嗎？曾經(jīng)的你可愛，善良，撒起嬌來像小貓一樣，現(xiàn)在小貓咋長成山大王了呢，你基因變異了嗎！還一口一句的泡菜腔，你是吃多了紫菜包飯嗎？棒子國那些錐子臉們就沒有扎醒你嗎？對，我沒有錢，我只是沒有錢啊！

李阿芳：難道我離開你選擇他只是為了錢嗎？對，我就為了錢。Kdie,為了錢。我現(xiàn)在去逛街，再也不用擔(dān)心買不起衣服，可是之前看中的幾十塊的裙子卻再也找不到了；去世界之窗，我卻想起了之前我們在小河里捉魚的日子；買化妝品，可是我卻認(rèn)不出我自己了。我再也不用為錢發(fā)愁，可是，卻失去了男朋友應(yīng)有的對我的關(guān)心和珍惜。可即便這樣，錢也從來都不屬于我，我用他的錢買了一大堆堆砌我外在美麗的附屬品，可是我卻在也不是原來的我，在我選擇和你分手的時候我就丟掉了我自己，丟掉了自尊，丟掉了快樂。

郭建國：阿芳，回來吧，我一直在這里。

獻(xiàn)給所有

曾經(jīng)逝去 正在擁有 即將發(fā)生

卻從未離開過我們的——愛情

第五篇：護(hù)理短劇劇本

護(hù)士對患者說：現(xiàn)在感覺怎樣啊？

N to P：What’s your feeling 我經(jīng)常感到惡心，想吐

患者對護(hù)士說：我經(jīng)常感到心絞痛，而且每次疼痛后都會發(fā)熱。最近腸胃也不好，老是覺得惡心，想吐。

P to N：I can feel the angina pectoris frequently and after each time I’ll get a fever.Recently the stomach was not good, I often fell nausea.醫(yī)生對病人說：您所患的是心肌梗塞，是指心肌的缺血性壞死，在臨床上常有持久的胸骨后劇烈疼痛、發(fā)熱、白細(xì)胞計數(shù)增高、血清心肌酶升高以及心電圖反映心肌急性損傷、缺血和壞死的一系列特征性演變，并可出現(xiàn)心律失常、休克或心力衰竭，屬冠心病的嚴(yán)重類型。心肌梗塞的原因，多數(shù)是冠狀動脈粥樣硬化斑塊或在此基礎(chǔ)上血栓形成，造成血管管腔堵塞所致。以下就讓你的責(zé)任護(hù)士給你介紹一下您日常所需注意的。

D to P: What you suffer from is myocardial infarction, refer to the ischemic necrosis of the cardiac muscle, often there is violent pain behind breastbone on clinic, generate heat, the leukocyte is counted and increased, the myocardium enzyme of serum rises and the electrocardiogram reflect cardiac muscle acute damaging, a series of characteristic development of the ischemic and necrosis, and can present arrhythmia, shock or in heart failure, belong to the serious type of coronary heart disease.The reason of myocardial infarction, the majority is porridge a kind of plaque or thrombosis on this basis of coronary artery, cause blood vessel in charge of stop up.Let responsibility nurse of you give you introduce your daily need was noticed just as follows.護(hù)士對病人：得了心肌梗死，關(guān)鍵是要休息，不然對你的預(yù)后影響很大。除了要好好休息之外，你要試著戒煙，吸煙將促使冠心病猝死的危險性增高50%.N to P: Because of the myocardial infarction, you must sufficient rest otherwise your prognosis will be affected.Besides, you should try to give up smoking, smoking can increase the rate of sudden death in coronary heart disease(CHD)by fifty percent.病人對護(hù)士：讓我戒煙喊蠻難的，那除了戒煙，我以后生活中還需要注意點(diǎn)什么呢？ P to N: It’s quite hard for me to quit smoking.What else should I pay attention to besides giving up smoking? 對病人：除了要注意以上的幾點(diǎn)，你還要參加適當(dāng)?shù)捏w力活動與體力鍛煉。最后，保持良好的心理狀態(tài)。

N to P: In addition, moderate exercise is necessary.And finally, you have to maintain your stress and take your medicine on time.家屬對護(hù)士：那我們作家屬的要做些什么呢？

F to N: As his family, what should we do then? 護(hù)士對病人家屬：長期高脂肪、高熱量的飲食也是導(dǎo)致冠心病早發(fā)的危險因素。

你們作為他的家屬也要注意替他安排合理的膳食，保持“低脂、低鹽、低糖、低熱量、高纖維素的飲食。

N to F: Fat and high calorie foods, which you usually eat, also increase the risk of early CHD.As his family, first, you muse arrange a proper diet: low fat, low salt, low sugar and low calorie intake, and eat more fruits and vegetables.Second, you should pay attention to the patient’s health condition at any moment.