第一篇：10個經(jīng)典英語笑話(帶中文對照)

10個經(jīng)典英語笑話(帶中文對照).txt如果青春的時光在閑散中度過，那么回憶歲月將是一場凄涼的悲劇。雜草多的地方莊稼少，空話多的地方智慧少。即使路上沒有花朵，我仍可以欣賞荒蕪。Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.Jack finished them and gave them back.“Anything else?” The nurse asked.“Yes,”Jack thinks for a while and said,“I'm a bachelor.”杰克騎車摔傷,得住院治療.一位年輕美貌的護士拿著表格讓填.仞杰克填好遞上表格“還有什么漏填的?”護士問.“有!”杰克想了想說,“我是個單身漢.”Wife:You see.According to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.Husband:It's okey.To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.妻子:你看這張報紙,據(jù)統(tǒng)計,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.丈夫:那有什么?據(jù)我調(diào)查,死予肝癌的人100%都吃飯的.“Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine.”“Yours?Can you prove it?”“Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it.”“請原諒,你占了我的位置.”“你的位置?你能征明這點嗎?”“能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌.”O(jiān)ne day,Eve asked Adam,“Doyou really love me?”Adam said helplessly,“Do I have any other choice?”一天,夏娃問亞當:“你當真愛我嗎?”亞當無可奈何地回答:“我還有的選擇嗎?”Always Thirsty“I had an operation,” said a man to his friend, “and the doctor left a sponge in me.”“That”s terrible!“ said the friend.”Got any pain?“"No, but I am always thirsty!”總感到口渴一個男人對他的朋友說：“我動了一次手術，手術后醫(yī)生把一塊海綿忘在我的身體里了?！薄罢媸翘愀饬?！”朋友說道：“你覺得疼嗎？”“不疼，可是我總感到口渴。”A Useful WayFather: Jack, why do you drink so much water?Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.Father: What“s that got to do with it?Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.一個有效的方法爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝這么多水呀？杰克：我剛才吃了個蘋果，爸爸。爸爸：可是這跟喝水有什么關系呢？杰克：我忘了洗蘋果呀。A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what I”m going to give you for your birthday?Mom: No, Honey, what?Kate: A nice teapot.Mom: But I“ve got a nice teapot.Kate: No, you haven”t.I“ve just dropped it.凱特的禮物凱特：媽媽，你知道我要給你一件什么生日禮物嗎？媽媽：不知道，寶貝，是什么呀？凱特：一把漂亮的茶壺。媽媽：可是我已經(jīng)有一把漂亮的茶壺了呀。凱特：不，你沒有了。我剛剛把它給摔了。The Doctor Knows BetterA man was hit by a cab in the street.He was brought to the hospital.His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: ”I think that he is very ill.“"I am afraid that he is dead.” said the doctor.Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: “I”m not dead.I“m still alive.”“Be quiet, ” said the wife.“the doctor knows better than you!”醫(yī)生懂得多一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫(yī)院。他的妻子站在他的床前對醫(yī)生說：“我想他傷得很厲害。”醫(yī)生說：“恐怕他已經(jīng)死了。”聽到醫(yī)生的話，這個男人轉(zhuǎn)動著頭說：“我沒死，我還活著。”妻子說：“安靜，醫(yī)生比你懂得多?！盬aste or Save?Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning.Don“t you know you are wasting time?Jack: Yes, Dad.But I”ve saved you a meal, haven“ I?浪費還是節(jié)約父親：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。難道你不知道你這是在浪費時間嗎？杰克：我知道，爸爸?？晌疫€給您節(jié)省了一頓飯呢，是不是？Why Is He HowlingDentist: Please stop howling.I haven”t even touched your tooth yet.Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!他為什么喊牙醫(yī)：請你不要再喊了！我還沒碰你的牙呢。病人：我知道，可是你正踩著我的腳呀！

第二篇：比爾英語中文對照

比爾精英英語-商務精英實戰(zhàn)視頻-面試現(xiàn)場-（失敗案例）

視頻對應中英文對照文本

Marcia Boardman: Good morning Daniel!

早上好,丹尼爾!Daniel:Dan, please?

請叫我丹??

Marcia Boardman: I'm Marcia Boardmanproducts which are from companies with socially desirable characteristics such as fair employment practices or environmentally sound operational policies

Philip Hart:That's a very good question?

and that's something we're moving towards

at the moment?

這是一個非常好的問題??

而這,正是我們此刻努力的方向?? Marcia Boardman:Ok, well, let's move on to the presentation?

好吧, 讓我們進入演講部分吧?

商務精英實戰(zhàn)英語-外企英文面試(一般性問題)

視頻對應中英文對照文本

面試官:>Well, your resume looks good.嗯，你的履歷看起來不錯。

I was especially impressed with your cover letter.我對你的求職信印象特別深刻。

You'd be surprised at how many I get that have grammar or spelling

mistakes.我收到的求職信文法或拼字錯誤數(shù)量之多，你一定會感到驚訝。

Yours stood out because it was error free and worded well.你的求職信就是因為毫無錯誤、用字遣詞精準，所以顯得突出。

注解 ：Impressed With:對?印象深刻

Cover Letter: 求職意向書

Surprised at: 對?感到驚訝

Stood out：(Stand out 的過去式）：突出，引人注目

Error Free： 無錯；沒有誤差的 Worded Well：用字遣詞精準

求職者:>Thank you.謝謝您。

面試官:>Now, let's get to it.嗯，進入正題吧。

What are your long term career goals?

你的長期職涯目標是什么？

注解：Long Term:長期的Career Goals: 職業(yè)目標

求職者:>Well, I look at a career in terms of job satisfaction.嗯，我以工作成就感來看待工作.If I'm satisfied with the job, there's no question of seeking another.如果我對工作感到滿意，就沒有另謀他就的問題。

注解：In terms of: 依據(jù)；按照；在?方面

Job Satisfaction:工作滿意度

Be Satisfied with: 對?感到滿意

No Question of: 無?的可能性

面試官:>I see.我了解。

then, what would your dream job be?

那么，你理想的工作會是什么？

Describe it to me.描述給我聽。

求職者:>It's hard to give specifics on what particular job would bemy dream job

because it's more than just the work itself.要詳細說出我的理想工作是什么并不容易，因為所涉及的不只是工作

本身而已。

(If)I can love the job, like the people, contribute to the company and

look forward to going there every day, that would be about as close

to a dream job as I can imagine.〈如果〉我能愛上這份工作、喜歡同事、為公司奉獻、期待上班的每一天

那就差不多是我所能想像得到的理想工作了。

注解：More Than Just：不僅僅是

Contribute to：有助于? , 對?做貢獻

面試官:>Who could ask for more than that?!

有那樣的工作夫復何求呢？！

Now then, what would you say has been your greatest accomplishment

in your present job?

那么，你認為你目前工作曾有過的最大成就是什么呢？

注解：Accomplishment：成就

商務精英實戰(zhàn)英語-外企英文面試(談論細節(jié))

視頻對應中英文對照文本

Marcia Boardman:Hi!Welcome to WebWare.嗨!歡迎來到WebWare。Sarah Timms: Thanks, nice to see you again.謝謝,很高興再次見到你。Marcia Boardman:You too.So, you said you wanted to come in

and have a chatbefore you started?

我也是。你說你想在開始上班前先過來聊聊。Sarah Timms:Yeah, I just wanted to have a look round and ask

a few more questions, if I can?

是啊,我只是想過來看看,問幾個問題,如果我可以? Marcia Boardman:Sure, fire away!

當然, 說吧!

注解

：Have a chat:聊一聊

Fire Away ：開始說，開始問，開火，開始射擊。

Sarah Timms:Well, I was delighted to receive the job offer?

嗯,我很高興獲得這個工作機會?? Marcia Boardman:Good!We were delighted to offer it to you?

好!我們很高興提供給你這個機會? Sarah Timms: But before I sign the contractthere were one or two

specifics I wanted to talk about.但是在我簽合同前，有一兩個細節(jié)我想談談。

注解：Job offer:工作機會，工作邀請

Sign the contract:簽合同

Marcia Boardman:OK?

'specifics'?

好吧?“細節(jié)”?

Sarah Timms:Well?

there is a pay scale, instead of a fixed salary?

嗯??有一個工資標準,而不是一個固定的薪水??

注解：Pay Scale：工資標準，工資級別，工資等級

Fixed Salary：固定工資；固定薪額

Marcia Boardman:Yes, as a new employee you'd be at thelower endof

the pay scale.18

是的,作為一個新員工你會在工資標準的下端。

Sarah Timms:But takingmy experience into account?

但考慮到我的經(jīng)驗??

注解：Lower end:下端

Take? into account：把?考慮進去，考慮到

Marcia Boardman:Well, you haven't had that much experience, we seeyou asan investment?

嗯,你沒有那么多的經(jīng)驗,我們把你作為一個投資看待?

Sarah Timms:But that salary would only be a little more than I'm making now.So, instead of asking for a higher level on the pay scale, I thought this could be compensated byadding certainbonuses– for instance if I make certain sales targets, or even break them, I would be looking for a good cash payment, or stock optionsin the company.但工資只我現(xiàn)在的工作多一點點。因此,我不是要求一個更高水平的工資, 我認為工資級別可以通過添加一定的獎金進行補償——例如，如果我實現(xiàn)了銷售目標,甚至打破了銷售目標, 我將獲得現(xiàn)金獎勵,或公司股票期權。

注解：Compensated by:通過?進行補償

Bonus：獎金

Sales Targets:銷售目標

Cash Payment：現(xiàn)金支付

Stock Option:股票期權

Marcia Boardman:Well, that is something we sometimes offer senior

members of staff, but to show good faithI'll provisionallyoffer you the bonus scheme– but I'll have to okay it with Philip first.嗯,那是我們有時提供給資深員工的, 但是為了顯示出良好的信念，我暫時給你獎金方案——但我首先的與菲利普確認一下。

注解： Senior Members of Staff: 高級職員,資深員工

Good faith:誠實；善意；真摯

Provisionally

：

暫

時

地，臨

時

地

Bonus Scheme ：紅利分成圖，獎金制度

Sarah Timms:That's fine.I also see there are 25 days holiday.沒關系。我也看到有25天假期。Marcia Boardman:Yes.That's standard.這是標準。

Sarah Timms:It's not very much for a high pressure job though?

對一份高壓力的工作來說不算多?? Marcia Boardman:I can't offer you any more holiday.我不能給你更多的假期了。

Sarah Timms:No, but I was wondering if we could delay my start date，so instead of starting a week from now, as we discussed,I could start in a month's time?

不,但我想知道我們是否可以延遲我的上班開始日期,所以不是我們先前討論的從現(xiàn)在開始的一個星期 ,我可以在一個月后開始嗎?

Marcia Boardman:You're a tough negotiator, Sarah!

你是一個強硬的談判者,莎拉!

注解：Tough Negotiator: 強硬的的談判者，不妥協(xié)的談判者

Sarah Timms:That's one of the reasons you hired me!

這是你錄用我的原因之一啊!

Marcia Boardman:Yes, of course.OK, I think we can do that

I'll look forward to seeing you in a month,and earning those bonuses!

是的,當然。好的,我想我們可以這樣做,我期待在一個月

內(nèi)見到你，并獲得這些獎金!

商務精英實戰(zhàn)英語-通知求職者面試錄取情況

Marcia Boardman: ?ok?ok?that's great!

We'll be pleased to have you on the team!

Looking forward to seeing you next week!Bye!

好的，好的，那太好了！

歡迎你加入我們的隊伍！

期待下周與你相見!再見！

注解：Looking Forward to ：期望，盼望

Philip Hart: Was that Sarah?

是Sarah嗎？

Marcia Boardman:Yes – she's going to accept the job，and wants to come in next week for a chat?

是的。她會接受這份工作，并且下周會過來交談一下。Philip Hart: Great news.Now you just have to tell the other guy

that we don't want him?

真是好消息.現(xiàn)在你所要做的就是告訴另一個人我們不需要他 Marcia Boardman:I hate giving bad news?

我討厭報憂?

注解：Give Bad News:告知壞消息，報憂

Philip Hart: I'm glad that it's your job and not mine!

幸好這是你的工作，不是我的。

Marcia Boardman:Ok, may as welldo it straightaway? Dear Mr Watson?

we regret to inform you that you have not got the job?

hmmm? sounds a bit too direct.How about?Dear Mr Watson, Thank you for your application to WebWare.We regret to inform you that you weren't successful.’

恩，最好還是馬上就去做?尊敬的Watson先生，很遺憾的告訴您你未能得到這份工作?恩?貌似太直接了?！弊鹁吹腤atson先生，感謝你來WebWare 應聘，我們很遺憾地告訴您，您未能成功.”這樣寫怎么樣？

注解：May as Well: 不妨，還是?好，還不如，最好

Straightaway：立即的，毫不遲疑的

Philip Hart:Hmmm?I think you should say something positive.恩?我覺得你應該說些積極的東西。Marcia Boardman:But he was terrible!

但是他太差勁了！Philip Hart: Well, he wasn't great, no, but，I think we should be positive and polite.是啊，他當然不出色，但是我覺得我們應該積極點更加有禮貌一點。

Marcia Boardman:Yes, you're absolutely right.OK how about this

“Dear Mr Watson, Thank you for your application to WebWare.You were apromisingcandidate.However, we regret to inform you that the competition for the post was very strong, and we will not be offering you the position.Yours sincerely, etc etc?”

恩，你完全正確?！白鹁吹腤atson先生，感謝你來WebWare應聘。你是個前途無量的應聘者。但是，很遺憾的告訴你，對這個職位的競爭很激烈，你沒能得到這份工作。謹啟?”這樣你覺得怎么樣？

注解：Positive：積極的 Promising：前途無量的，有希望的

Philip Hart:Yes, that's more like it?but we should include some feedback?

恩，這樣就比較像了，但是我們還應該寫點反饋。

注解：That's more like it ：那樣才像話;這才像話;本該如此;那還差不多

Marcia Boardman:Of course。how about if I add this:

“In future, you may wish to moderate your personal style, and carefully fact check your CV?” How does that sound?

當然?！敖窈?，您不妨節(jié)制一點，仔細核對自己的履歷?”如果加上這些，你覺得怎么樣？

注解：Moderate：節(jié)制，減輕，適度的。

Personal Style:個人風格

Philip Hart:I'm not sure what 'moderate your personal style' means.24

It's a bit vague?

我不太清楚”節(jié)制一點”具體是什么意思.有點模糊。

Marcia Boardman: Hmm?ok, how about 'give more specificexamples of your

achievements, and show how you work as part of a team’.恩，那好吧，那么”具體說出您所完成的事情，體現(xiàn)您作為一個團隊的一員是起什么作用的”怎么樣？

注解:

Specific:具體的 Achievement:成就

Philip Hart:Ok, yes, I like that?and remember to finish with something like,‘We wish you the best of luckin the future’!

恩，不錯，我喜歡..記住用“祝你好運”結尾。Marcia Boardman:Of course , I certainly do wish him luck!

Ok!done.I'll send it now.當然，我當然希望他一帆風順。

好的！寫完了。我這就發(fā)送出去。

實戰(zhàn)小結：

Telling someone that they didn't get the job is not an easy thing to do.Philip helps Marcia to word the rejection letter in a suitable way.Here are a few things you should do in a rejection letter.(1).Address the candidate by name.25

用姓名來稱呼應聘者。

(2).Thank the candidate for the time, effort and interest in the company.對應聘者所付出的時間，努力，以及對公司所表現(xiàn)出的興趣表示感謝。(3).Write a supportive sentence about the candidate's qualifications, experience or, at very least, enthusiasm or motivation.對應聘者的能力，經(jīng)驗，或至少是積極性或干勁予以積極的評價。(4).Make it clear that the reason you didn't hire the candidate was because

you found someone else with better qualifications and experience.要說明他人落選的原因是因為你有更好的選擇。

(5).Offer some feedback on how they could improve their interview performance.給他們一些反饋，告訴他們?nèi)绾翁嵘龖讣记伞?/p>

(6).Wish the candidate good luck in his or her career development.對他們的職業(yè)發(fā)展予以祝福。

(7).Close the letter formally with “sincerely” or “best wishes.”

以“謹啟”或”致以最良好的祝愿”結尾。(8).Sign your name, including your title.簽上你的姓名以及你在公司的職位。

商務精英實戰(zhàn)英語-外企英文面試(具體問題)

求職者:>I'm looking to change jobs because my present company is small and I've gone about as far as I can there.我希望換工作是因為我現(xiàn)在的公司規(guī)模不大，而我在那兒能發(fā)展的空間已有限。面試官:>This position is demanding.這份工作要求很高。

Describe to me how you handle stress on the job.告訴我你如何處理工作上的壓力。

注解：Demanding：要求高的 Handle Stress：處理壓力

求職者:>I don't believe all stress is bad.26

我不認為所有的壓力都是不好的。

I need the good stress to keep me motivated.我需要良性壓力來驅(qū)策自己。

I think I actually work better in a challenging environment.我想我在有挑戰(zhàn)性的環(huán)境下工作其實會表現(xiàn)得更好。Bad stress can be managed with a run.負面的壓力跑個步就能解決了。

Something physical does it for me.讓身體活動一下就能讓我抒解壓力。

注解：Keep ? Motivated：使?受到激勵 Manage with:用?設法對付

面試官:>Ah!

??！

Well said.說得好。

Now, tell me why we should hire you.那么，告訴我為什么我們該雇用你。

求職者:>I've got a proven track record.我以往的工作績效有目共睹。

This position is demanding and I work well under stress.這份職務要求甚高，而我在壓力下工作游刃有余。

I've reorganized my team's workload to cover the sudden absence

of a colleague and I do what needs to be done to meet our deadlines.我會重新安排團隊工作量以應付同事的突然缺席；我也會完成一切所需以趕上時限。I'm willing to work hard and I flatten the learning curve.我愿意辛勤工作，而且我很快就能上手。

注解：Proven Track Record：可靠的工作業(yè)績 Workload：工作量 Sudden Absence: 突然缺失 Meet Deadlines: 趕上最后期限;按時完成任務 Flatten: 擊敗，摧毀 Learning Curve: 學習曲線

面試官:>I'm impressed, Howard.我印象深刻，霍華德。

I have to see some other people, but I can tell you, you're in the running.我還得面試其他人，不過我可以告訴你，你已在候選名單里了。Thanks for coming in.謝謝你過來。

You'll be hearing from us next week.你下禮拜就能得到我們的答覆。

注解：In the running: 有贏的希望；有獲勝的希;望參加比賽

求職者:>Thank you for your time, Mr.Burns.伯恩斯先生，謝謝您的時間。

商務精英實戰(zhàn)英語-評論求職者

Philip Hart: So?what did you think?

那么你覺得怎么樣呢？

Marcia Boardman:Well? between Sarah Timms and Daniel Watson, I think the choice is pretty obvious!

嗯，在Sarah Timms和Daniel Watson之間，28

我相信答案已經(jīng)很明顯了。Philip Hart:Yes , so do I.Watson looked so good on paper?

嗯，我也覺得是這樣。Watson的履歷相當不錯。

注解:Look Good on Paper:Qualifications and experience that are

impressive on a CV 履歷看起來很好

Marcia Boardman: He seemed very good when I first spoke to him too..我一開始和他談話的時候他表現(xiàn)也不錯。Philip Hart:First impressions often lie!

第一印象通常是靠不住的！Marcia Boardman:Indeed?I think a lot of his CV was

-how shall we say? “Counterfactual”

的確如此。我覺得他的履歷上的很多東西都是?

怎么說呢？“虛假的”

注解：Counterfactual-not reflecting or considering the facts 虛假的

Philip Hart:Yes！it just wasn't true!You should never lie on your CV?

是?。『芏喽疾皇鞘聦?！你不應該在履歷上作假的!

Marcia Boardman:He had very good references, though – very strange.他有很多好的推薦信，盡管很奇怪。

注解：References ：a statement concerning somebody's character or

qualifications, usually given to a potential employer

推薦信;證明;推薦;證明人,推薦人;推薦函

Philip Hart:I guess some people just like that sort of style,but he wouldn't fit in with us?I mean，it's important to be confident – but he was overconfident.我猜有些人大概就是喜歡那樣的風格，但他不是我們要的合適人選，我的意思是，自信很重要，但是他太自信了。

注解：Fit in with：同?合得來；適應；符合

Marcia Boardman:I couldn't agree more.His body language was all wrong?

He came across as arrogant.我完全同意你的觀點。

他的肢體語言完全錯誤，讓人感覺很傲慢。

注解：Body Language:肢體語言

Arrogant :Feeling or showing self-importance and contempt or

disregard for others 傲慢的;自大的;自負的

Philip Hart:Then he gave very vague answers-

no specific details of what exactly he'd done in his job

而且他的答案模棱兩可。沒有說明白他到底干了什么

注解：Vague：Not clear in meaning or intention

(想法等)不明確的;曖昧的,含糊的

Marcia Boardman:Whereas Sarah Timms?

反之，Sarah Timms就? Philip Hart: ?knew exactly what she was talking about.完全知道自己在說什么.Marcia Boardman:Yes, she was very convincing, self-assured, but not arrogant.她很有說服力，很自信，而且一點都不驕傲。

注解：Convincing:able to persuade somebody to believe that

something is true 有說服力的;令人信服的 Self-assured:behaving in a relaxed manner that displays confidence

that your views and abilities are of value 有自信的

Philip Hart: She'd clearly done some research on the company,and knew what she was talking about.很明顯她對公司做了一些調(diào)查，知道自己在說什么。Marcia Boardman:I thought her presentation was excellent.我覺得她的演講很精彩。Philip Hart:Yes, it was, but I am a little worried about

how much experience she has?

是的，但是對她的經(jīng)驗我有點擔心。

Marcia Boardman:Yes, true, but she seems very ready to take

on the challenges the role would offer her.恩,是的,但她似乎準備好迎接這份工作會帶來的挑戰(zhàn)。

Philip Hart: So? Who do we give the job to?

那么，我們把這份工作給誰呢？ Marcia Boardman: Sarah!

Sarah!Philip Hart:Yes, I agree entirely!

恩，我完全同意！

Marcia Boardman:Great!I'll phone her straight away offering the post?

and I'll write a rejection to Mr.Watson!

我會馬上打電話給她，告訴她她被錄用了！

并給Mr.Watson寫封回絕信！

注解：A rejection ：A letter to tell a candidate that they have not received 32

the job.回絕信

Philip Hart:OK.好的

商務精英實戰(zhàn)英語-外企英文面試(無經(jīng)驗篇)

Interviewee:Good morning, Ms.Mandel.早上好,曼德爾女士

Interviewer :Good morning.Sit down, please.早上好。請坐下 Interviewee:Thank you.謝謝。

Interviewer :You are Chen Bo, aren't you?

I'm Cathy Mandel, Director of the HR Department.你是陳波,對嗎? 我是凱茜曼德爾,人力資源部門的主任。

注解：Director：主任，主管；導演 HR Department(HR=Human Resources):人力資源部門,人事部 擴充：Sales Department：銷售部 Financial Department：財務部 Research and Development Department(R&D):研發(fā)部 Public Relations Department :公共關系

Interviewee :Yes, I'm Chen Bo.Nice to meet you, Ms.Mandel.是的, 我是陳波。很高興認識你,曼德爾女士。

Interviewer :Nice to meet you, too.I've gone through your resume and would like to know more about you.我也很高興認識你。我已經(jīng)看過你的簡歷,想知道更多關于你的信息。Interviewee:Thank you for your interest in me.33

謝謝你對我感興趣。

注解：Go Through sth: 仔細檢查?；全面考慮?；仔細討論；搜查

Interviewer :To start with,would you like to tell me a bit about yourself ?

首先, 你愿意告訴我一些關于你自己嗎?

Interviewee:Sure, I'm a senior studentat Guangdong University of Finance.I expect to graduate this summer.My major is international finance.當然,我是一名廣東財經(jīng)大學大四的學生。我預期今年夏天畢業(yè)。我的專業(yè)是國際金融。

注解： To start with: 首先；第一 Senior Student：大四學生；高年級學生 Expect to：預期;期許 International Finance：國際金融

Interviewer:So, why did you choose our company?

那么,你為什么選擇我們公司呢?

Interviewee: As far as I know, your company is one of several leading international consultant corporations which came to China after China entered WTO.I think working here would give me the best chance to use what I've learned at university.據(jù)我所知,貴公司是中國進入世貿(mào)組織后，進入中國的龍頭國際顧問公司之一。

我認為在這里工作能給我最佳的機會使用我在大學所學的知識。

注解：As far as a know: 就我所知 Leading Corporations: 龍頭企業(yè)

Interviewer:As a majorin international finance，what do you think you can do in consultancy?

作為一個主國際金融的學生,你認為你可以做咨詢嗎?

注解：Major in: 主修；專攻；專業(yè) Consultancy：咨詢公司；顧問工作；咨詢

Interviewee:Well, I know how to tackle problems.For example, I know

I must first analyzethe problem and work out itsmajor cause.Then I will be able to search for ways to solveit from the available data.嗯,我知道如何解決問題。

例如,我知道我必須第一個分析問題和找出其主要原因。

然后我將從可用的數(shù)據(jù)中尋找方法來解決它。

注解：Tackle Problems: 解決問題;處理問題 Analyze: 分析 Work out: 算出；想出；解決；弄懂

Major Cause:主要原因

Solve：解決 Available data：現(xiàn)有數(shù)據(jù)；可用數(shù)據(jù)

Interviewer: Sometimes data is not enough.Have you got any relevant experiencein this field?

有時數(shù)據(jù)是不夠的。你有任何有關這方面的經(jīng)驗嗎?

注解：Relevant Experience：相關經(jīng)驗

Interviewee: Last year, during the probationary period，I was involved in the restorationof a factory in Nanjing.I really learned a lot from the experience，especially how to assesspeople's strengths and abilities.去年,在試用期間,我參與了南京一個工廠的修護。

我真的學到了很多的經(jīng)驗,尤其是如何評估人們的長處和能力。

注解：Probationary Period：試用期，見習期，實習期 Involved in:參與，涉及，包含，牽涉進? Restoration:修復 Assess: 評估

Interviewer: Can you cope withhard work under pressure and in a tough environment?

你能在壓力和艱難的環(huán)境中應付艱苦的工作嗎?

Interviewee: No problem.I don't care about pressure or the environment as long as I enjoy the work.沒問題。我不在乎壓力或環(huán)境,只要我喜歡這個工作。

注解：Cope with：處理，應對 Tough environment: 艱苦的環(huán)境 As Long As: 只要

Interviewer: Good.Now, do you have any questions to ask?

好?，F(xiàn)在,你有什么問題要問嗎?

Interviewee: Yes, I've got one.Are there any opportunities for Chinese employees

to be transferred to the head officein New York or other branch offices around the world?

是的,我有一個。中國員工有機會被調(diào)到紐約總部或世界各地的其他分支機構工作嗎?

注解：Transfer to: 轉(zhuǎn)移到 Head office：總部 Branch offices：分公司；分支機構

Interviewer: Um, probably.I think you are likely to be sent to work in an overseas branch to get experience later on once you've proved your worth.嗯,可能。一旦你已經(jīng)證明了自己的價值，我認為你有可能被送到海外分公司工作以獲得經(jīng)驗。

注解：Overseas Branch：海外分公司 Proved one's worth: 證明某人的價值

Interviewee: Oh, great.If I'm accepted, I will do my best for the company.噢, 太好了。如果我被錄取了, 我將為公司盡我最大的努力。

Interviewer: I wish you luck!We'll notifyyou of our final decisionby Friday.我祝你好運!我們會在星期五通知你我們的最終決定。

注解：Be Accepted：被錄取, 被接受 Notify:通知 Final Decision：最后決定，最終決定，最后判決

Interviewee: Thank you, Ms.Mandel.Goodbye.謝謝你,曼德爾女士。再見 Interviewer: Goodbye.36

再見。

商務精英實戰(zhàn)英語-外企英文面試(跳槽篇)Interviewee:May I come in?

我可以進來嗎?

Interviewer:Yes, please do.是的,請。

Interviewee:Good morning, sir.My name is Merry Wang.I've come for an interview, as requested.早上好,先生。我的名字是王梅莉。我是應邀來參加面試的。

注解： As Requested：應邀，按照要求，依照要求；應?要求

Interviewer: Nice to meet you, Miss Wang.I am Harry White, Director of the HR Department.I was expecting you.Please, take a seat.很高興見到你,王小姐。我是哈利懷特,人力資源部門的主任。我一直在等你。請坐。Interviewee:Thank you.謝謝。

Interviewer:Well, Miss Wang, you are applying for the position of Sales manager, right? How did you know about our company?

嗯, 王小姐,你應聘的是銷售經(jīng)理的職位,對嗎? 你是怎么知道我們公司的?

Interviewee:I got to know your company from your TV commercials.They are elaborately designed and produced,and leave me deep impression.And in the summers

summers of 1997 and 1998 I worked as a salesgirl for your company in GZ.我從貴公司的電視廣告知道貴公司的。

廣告的設計和制作都很精細,讓我印象深刻。

在1997及1998年的夏季,我在貴公司的廣州分公司擔任過銷售員。

注解：TV Commercials：電視廣告 Elaborately Designed：精心設計 Work as：擔任

Interviewer:Really? That's good.Then you must know something about our company? 真的嗎? 很好。那你一定知道一些關于我們公司的情況了?

Interviewee:Yes, a little.Your company is very famous.Your cosmetics and skincare products are very popular with women all over the world.是的,一點點。貴司很有名。你的化妝品和護膚品很受世界各地的女性歡迎。

注解：Cosmetics: 化妝品 Skincare Products：護膚品 Popular with：受?的歡迎

Interviewer: Huh, that's right.Miss Wang，can you tell me which university you attended?

嗯,沒錯。王小姐,你能告訴我你上過哪所大學? Interviewee: Sun Yat-sen.中山大學。

注解：Sun Yat-sen：孫中山

擴展：The Sun-yat-Sen Park： 中山公園 Former Residence of Sun-Yat-sen： 孫中山故居 Sun Yat-sen Monument： 中山紀念碑

Interviewer:And what degree have you got?

你有什么學位?

Interviewee:I have a bachelor's degree in business administration.我有一個商業(yè)管理學士學位。

注解：Bachelor's degree：學士學位 Business administration：商業(yè)管理 擴展：Master's degree: 碩士學位 Doctor's Degree: 博士學位

Interviewer:How is your English? You know, some staff members in our company are Americans, so conversational English is very important.你的英語怎么樣? 你知道,我們公司的一些員工美國人, 所以會話英語是非常重要的。

注解：Staff Members: 職工，管理人員 Conversational English: 會話英語

Interviewee: I passed TEM8 at college, and I am good at oral English.I think I can communicate with Americans quite well.我在大學通過英語八級考試,我擅長英語口語。我認為我可以和美國人很好的溝通。

注解：TEM8：英語專業(yè)八級考試（Test For English Major-8）

Interviewer:Good.I know you are now with United Butter.What is your chief responsibility there?

好。我知道你現(xiàn)在在United Butter工作。你在那里的主要職責是什么?

注解：Chief Responsibility：主要職責

Interviewee: I've worked there for five years, since I graduated from college.Two years ago, I was appointed Brand Manager

– responsible for the Panda line of biscuits.自從我大學畢業(yè)以后，我已經(jīng)在那兒工作五年了。

兩年前,我被任命為品牌經(jīng)理,負責熊貓系列的餅干。

注解：be Appointed:被任命為? Responsible for:負責，為?負責

Interviewer:Why do you want to change your job?

你為什么想換工作呢?

Interviewee:I want to change my work environment, seek new broaden my experience.That's why I want to move into sales.我想改變我的工作環(huán)境,尋求新的挑戰(zhàn),拓寬我的經(jīng)驗。

這就是為什么我想進入銷售的原因。

challenges

and

注解：Seek new challenges: 尋找新的挑戰(zhàn) Broaden one's experience：拓寬某人的經(jīng)驗

Interviewer:What do you think is the most important qualification for a salesperson? 你認為對一個銷售員來說最重要的條件是什么? Interviewee:I think it's self-confidence and quality products.我認為是自信和優(yōu)質(zhì)的產(chǎn)品。

注解：Quality Products：優(yōu)質(zhì)的產(chǎn)品

Interviewer:I agree with you.What salary would you expect to get here?

我同意你的觀點。你希望拿多少薪水?

Interviewee:well, I would leave it to you to decide after you consider my abilities.My current annual income at United Butter is 150 thousand.But, er, ? could you tell me a little more about what the job entails?

嗯,在你考慮我的能力后我會讓你來決定。

我目前在United Butter 的年收入是15萬。

但是,呃,?你能告訴我一些這個工作需要什么?

注解: Annual Income: 年薪 Job Entail：工作的具體要求

Interviewer: You would be in charge of all the sales activities, for all hair products

in northeast China.This would involve market analysis, client service and development, sales promotion, and regular customer satisfaction

surveys.You'd report directly to the Regional Sales Director.Do you have any other questions?

你將負責中國東北美發(fā)產(chǎn)品的所有銷售活動。這將包括市場分析、客戶服務和開發(fā)、銷售推廣、和定期的客戶滿意度調(diào)查。你會直接向區(qū)域銷售總監(jiān)報告。你有任何其他的問題嗎?

注解：Sales activities: 銷售活動 Hair products: 美發(fā)產(chǎn)品 Market analysis: 市場分析 Client service and development: 客戶服務和開發(fā) Sales promotion: 銷售推廣 In charge of: 負責 Regular customer satisfaction surveys: 定期客戶滿意度調(diào)查 Report to: 向?報告 Regional Sales Director: 區(qū)域銷售總監(jiān)

Interviewee: Yes, only one.When can I have your decision?

是的,只有一個。我什么時候可以得到您的決定?

Interviewer: I need to discuss with other board members.We'll notify you of our decision as soon as possible.But ? to be honest, you seem to be a good candidate with the right kind of experience and personality.You're high on my list.我需要與其他董事會成員討論。我們會盡快通知你我們的決定。但是?老實說,你似乎是一個很好的候選人，有合適的經(jīng)驗和個性。你在我名單上的排名很靠前。

注解：Board members：董事會成員 Candidate：候選人

Interviewee: That's good!Thank you, Mr.White.I look forward to hearing from you.Goodbye.很好!謝謝你,懷特先生。我期待著你的消息。再見。Interviewer: Goodbye.再見。

商務英語實戰(zhàn)視頻之打電話通知求職者面試

面試官:Hi, I'm Marcia Boardman, I'm calling from WebWare.你好,我是瑪西婭·博德曼,我正從WebWare給你打電話。求職者1:Oh hi, Marcia.Great to hear from you.噢, 嗨,瑪西婭。很高興接到你的電話。

面試官:You'll already have been told you've been Shortlisted forinterview?

有人告訴我你已經(jīng)入圍面試??

注解：Shortlisted for ：入圍

求職者2:Oh? yes? great? hello? Can you hear me?

哦??是的??太好了??你好? 你能聽到我說話嗎? 面試官:Yes? Is it OK if I call you now? Would you like me to call you back later?

是的??我可以現(xiàn)在給你打電話嗎? 你愿意我稍后再打電話給你嗎? 求職者2: Erm, no, no, no, that's OK?

嗯,不,不,不,沒關系?

面試官:Good – well we're very excited about meeting you.OK, I just want to talkyou throughthe Procedure for the day.Someone will meet you when you arrive, reimburse you for any travel expensesyou may have, and then bring you up to meet myself and Philip Hart, the CEO.很好,我們都很期待見到你。好吧,我只是想和你談一下面試當天的流程。當你到達時有人會接待你,報銷任何旅行費用,然后帶你來見我和菲利普·哈特,公司的CEO。

注解：Talk sb through：向某人說明

Procedure: 流程

[pr?'si?d??]

Reimburse：報銷[,ri??m'b??s]

Travel expenses: 旅行費用

求職者1:OK, sounds good.So will you be the only members of the interview panelthere then?

好的,聽起來不錯。所以你會是面試小組唯一的成員嗎?

注解：Interview Panel：面試小組

面試官:Yes, it'll be just me and Philip who will talk to you.The interview will be in three parts – first of all we'll ask you some general questions about yourself and your educational and professional background, then we'll move on to specifics.是的,面試小組將會只有我和菲利普會和你談。面試將在分成三個部分,首先我們會問你一些關于你自己，你的教育和職業(yè)背景的一般性問題,然后我們將會談具體的細節(jié)。

注解：General questions：一般性問題

Specifics: 細節(jié)

Educational and professional background：教育和職業(yè)背景

求職者2: Oh, er, specifics? Well er, what kind of questions will you be asking?

噢,呃,細節(jié)嗎? 呃,你會問什么樣的問題?

面試官:Well, it'll be very similar to the personal statementyou submittedwith your CV – we'll be expecting you to give actual examplesof problems you've faced and solved, and of what you feel are the major successes in your career so far.嗯,非常類似于與你的簡歷一起提交的個人陳述,我們會期望你針對你面對和解決的問題給出實際的例子,以及到目前為止，在你的職業(yè)生涯中你感覺主要的成功是什么？

注解：Similar to : 類似于

Personal Statement ：個人陳述

Submit ：提交

CV：簡歷（Curriculum Vitae）

Actual Example：實際例子

Career：職業(yè)生涯

求職者1:OK, well yeah, that sounds great – can't wait!

好的,嗯是的,聽起來不錯,等不及了!

面試官:Then there'll be a chance for you to ask us any questions – about the job itself, or WebWare in general?

然后將會有一個機會讓你問我們?nèi)魏螁栴}——關于工作本身,或者關于WebWare 的一般性問題?.求職者2:Oh, erm, OK? I'll think of something!

哦,嗯,好??我會想出些問題的!

面試官:After that, we'd like you to give a short presentation on how you see WebWare as a company progressing, and how you see yourself taking us there.之后, 關于你是如何把WebWare看做是一個成長的公司,以及你如何看待你自己把我們帶到那里去，我們希望你提供一個簡短的陳述.注解：Short Presentation：簡短的陳述

求職者1:OK so will I be expected to give like a formal style presentation?

好的 所以我將需要會給一個正式的陳述嗎?

注解：Formal style presentation 正式的陳述

面試官:It can be as formal or informal as you like.There'll be a flipchartand a data projectorthere available.If you need anything else, just let us know.它可以是正式或非正式的，你喜歡怎么做就怎么做。將會有一個白板和一個投影機可用供你使用。如果你還需要別的什么,告訴我們一聲就可以了。

注解：Flipchart：白板

Data Projector：投影儀

求職者2:Oh, erm OK, a presentation!I'll think of something.I haven't done one of those in a while?

哦,嗯好,演講!我總會想到些什么。我有一段時間沒做過這些了?? 面試官:Is that all clear? Great, so, Daniel, I'll see you at 11am, a week tomorrow.都清楚了嗎? 太好了,所以,丹尼爾, 從明天起一周后上午11點見。求職者1:OK, great, I look forward to meeting you!Thanks, bye.好的,很好,我期待見到你!謝謝,再見。

面試官:OK, so, Sarah, we'll be seeing you at 1:00 pm, a week tomorrow.Best of luck!

好的,那么,莎拉,我們會明天起一周后下午1點見。祝你好運!求職者2: Oh, thanks? I'll need it?

哦,謝謝?我需要它?

第三篇：英語短文笑話(帶翻譯)

1、How much English can you speak?

“Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft.He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around.What's more, he only speaks a few words of English.” The judge looked at the defendant and asked, “How much English can you speak?” The defendant looked up and said, “Give me your wallet!”

中文翻譯

“法官先生，我的當事人被指控偷竊，這是多么不公正啊。他一周前才來到紐約，幾乎不認路。而且，他只會說幾個英語單詞?！?法官看了看被告，問道：“你會說多少英文？” 被告抬起頭，說：“把你的錢包給我！” 2

A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day.She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.He said, “What?” 丈夫給妻子看了一項調(diào)查結果，為了向她證明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000個字，而女人每天使用30000個。

妻子想了一會兒說，女人每天說的字數(shù)是男人的兩倍，因為她們必須重復已經(jīng)說過的話。他問：“什么？” 3

Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.男孩：這個座位是空的么？

女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。

4、“Tom, what's the matter with your brother?” asked the mother in the kitchen.“He's crying.” “Oh, nothing, Mum,” replied Tom.“I'm eating my cake.He is crying because I won't give him any.” “But has he finished his own cake?” “Yes.” said Tom.“And he also cried when I was helping him finish that.” “湯姆，你弟弟怎么了？” 媽媽在廚房里問。“他在哭?！?“沒事兒，媽媽，” 湯姆答道?！拔以诔晕业牡案?。他哭是因為我不給他吃?！?“他已經(jīng)吃完自己的了么？” “是的?！?“我?guī)退酝陼r，他也哭了?！?/p>

2009-6-7

A guy says to his friend, “Guess how many coins I have in my pocket.” The friends says, “If I guess right, will you give me one of them?” The first guys says, “If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!” 路人甲對路人乙說，“猜猜我兜里有幾個子兒？” 路人乙說：“我猜對了，你能給我一個不？” 路人甲說：“你要猜對了，我兩個全部給你！”

2009-6-6研究生和本科生的區(qū)別

“I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class,” said an instructor at a university graduate engineering course.“When I say 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond 'Good afternoon.' But the graduate students just write it down.” 一個教師在研究生工程學課堂上說：“我一眼就能看出來哪些是本科生，哪些是研究生?！?“我說'下午好'的時候，本科生回答'下午好'，而研究生則把這句話記在本子上?！?/p>

2009-6-5

Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days? Tom: Every month.爸爸：告訴我湯姆，哪個月有28天呢？ 湯姆：每個月都有??！

2009-6-4making faces

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child.Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Bobby, when I was a child I was told if I made ugly faces, my face would freeze and stay like that”.Bobby looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.” 史密斯小姐發(fā)現(xiàn)她的一名學生在操場上向別人做鬼臉，便去輕責他。

這位主日學校的老師甜甜地微笑著，說：“博比，我小的時候，有人告訴我如果我做鬼臉，我的臉就會僵硬，永遠都那么丑?！?博比抬頭看了看老師，說：“史密斯小姐，你可別說沒人警告過你啊?！?/p>

2009-6-3

A guy goes to visit his grandma and he brings his friend with him.While he's talking to his grandma, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off.As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandma, “Thanks for the peanuts.” She says, “Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off.”

一名男子帶著朋友去探望他的祖母。

當他和祖母聊天時，他的朋友開始吃咖啡桌上放的花生，并把花生都給吃光了。他們離開時，他的朋友對祖母說:“謝謝您的花生?！?結果祖母說:“唉！自從我牙齒掉光后，我就只能吮掉花生豆外層的巧克力了?！?/p>

2009-6-2

A father was trying to teach his son the evils of alcohol.He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey.The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.“All right, son,” asked the father, “What does that show you?” “Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms.” 一位父親打算讓自己的兒子知道酒精有多么可怕。

他把分別把兩只蟲子放到一杯清水和一杯威士忌里做對比。清水里蟲子安然無恙，結果威士忌里的蟲子蜷縮了幾下就掛掉了。

“所以，兒子啊，”父親問道，“得出什么結論？” “恩，這說明，你只要喝酒的話，肚里就不會長蟲了！”

2009-6-1

Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room.“Doctor,” he said, “you must help me.I swallowed a penny about a month ago.”

“Good heavens, man!” said the doctor.“Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?”

“To tell you the truth, Doctor,” the poor man replied, “I didn't need the money so badly then.”

中文翻譯：

一個看起來很難受的窮人走進大夫的診室。

“大夫！”他說，“幫幫我！一個月前我吞了一分硬幣！”

“天哪，”大夫說，“早干嘛去了？你當時怎么不來看？”

“實話告訴您吧，大夫，”窮人說，“我當時還不缺錢！”

2009-5-31

Boy: Hi, didn't we go on dates before? Onec or twice? Girl: Must've been once.I never make the same mistake twice.男孩：嗨，我們之前是不是約會過，是一次還是兩次，我忘記了。

女孩：應該只有一次吧，我從不犯兩次同樣的錯誤。

2009-5-30

In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, “What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?” “To be deaf,” replied the boy.“Nonsense!” said the teacher angrily.“Why, sir!Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?” the boy asked in reply disdainfully.在一次音樂學院的入學考試中，老師問其中一個男孩：“音樂家最重要的生理素質(zhì)是什么？” “耳聾，”男孩答道。

“胡說！”老師氣憤地說。

“怎么了，先生！難道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音樂家貝多芬是個聾子嗎？”男孩輕蔑地反問道。

2009-5-28

A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.Bartender: “What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?” The man: “We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month.” Bartender: “That should make you happy.” The man: “No, the month is up today!” 一個男人坐在酒吧里，傷心至極。

酒吧招待：“你怎么了？跟老婆鬧矛盾了？” 男人：“我們吵了一架，她說一個月都不跟我說話?！?酒吧招待：“那你應該高興才是??！” 男人：“不，今天是這個月的最后一天?！?/p>

【Laughter】2009-5-27 A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.女人找了老公之前都在擔憂未來。男人娶了老婆之前從來不為未來擔憂。

2009-5-26

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.男人想要的東西，要是值1塊錢卻賣2塊，他也會買；而對于女人，即使是不想要的東西，要是值2塊錢卻只賣1塊，她也會買。

2009-5-25

The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students and vice versa.“Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.Anybody caught breaking this rule the

2nd time will be fined $60.Being caught a 3rd time will incur a fine of $180.Are there any questions?” At this moment, a male student in the crowd inquires, “Umm...How much for a season pass?” 女生宿舍將全面禁止男生進入，男生宿舍也同樣不得女生光臨。

“不論是誰，一旦違規(guī)，初犯將被罰款20美元。再犯要被罰款60美元。第3次被抓需要交180美元的罰款。還有什么疑問么？” 這時人群中一個男同學問道，“那么一個季度通行證需要多少錢？”

2009-5-24

Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money.男孩：我可以給你買杯飲料嗎？ 女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。

2009-5-22

Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.Patient: It should.I've been practicing all night.醫(yī)生：聽上去你咳嗽今天好多了。

病人：應該如此。我昨晚練習了一整夜。

2009-5-21

Pete: “The last time I was out hunting, I stepped off a high cliff, and would you believe it, while I was falling every fool deed I'd ever done came into my mind.” Bob: “Must have been a pretty high mountain you fell from.” 皮特：“我上次出去打獵，跌下了很高的懸崖，信不信由你，當我跌落的時候，我腦海里浮現(xiàn)了我做過的所有蠢事?！?鮑勃：“你一定是從萬丈高山上跌落的吧?！?/p>

2009-5-19

Spending the night with their grandparents, 2 young boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers at bedtime.The younger boy began praying at the top of his lungs:“I PRAY FOR A BIKE...I PRAY FOR A NEW DVD...” His older brother nudged him and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf.” To which the little brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!” 2個男孩與祖父母一起過夜，他們跪在床邊做睡前禱告。弟弟聲嘶力竭地祈禱: “我祈求一輛自行車，一張新DVD……” 哥哥用肘輕推他: “你為什么大喊著祈禱？上帝又不聾?！?弟弟答道:“上帝是不聾，但是奶奶聾?！?/p>

2009-5-18

A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time.Coming up beside her, he said, “Pull over!” “No,” she replied, “a pair of socks!” 巡警發(fā)現(xiàn)一名婦女邊開車邊織毛衣，便開車上前，說：“靠邊停車(套頭衫)！” “不，” 她回答，“是一雙襪子！”

In order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the teacher put a bug into a glass filled with alcohol,soon the bug died.The teacher asked a student,“what does this show?”

The student answered,“It shows that people won't get parasites if they drink more alcohol.”

酒的好處

為了證明酒精對生物的危害，老師把一只蟲子放入裝有酒精的杯子里，蟲子很快就死了。老師問一個學生：“這說明了什么？”

學生答道：“說明人多喝酒，就不會長蟲子?！?/p>

1.Teacher:Some students are becoming arrogant.Do you remember the story about race between the hare and the tortoise?Now,Xiaoming,will you please tell us why the hare was defeated by the tortoise?

Xiaoming:Because the hare fell asleep.Teacher:Absolutely right!What should we do so that the hare won't fall asleep?

Xiaoming:Exchange the tortoise for the wolf.把烏龜換成狼

老師：有些同學開始驕傲了，大家還記得龜兔賽跑的故事嗎。小明，你說說看，兔子為什么輸給烏龜？

小明：因為它睡覺了。

老師：對極了！我們應該怎么做才能讓兔子不睡覺呢？

小明：把烏龜換成狼！

Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter

A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion.So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared.Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide.Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture.As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain.There was no sign of the lion.“What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?” asked the chief.“Forget the damn lion!” he howled.“Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?” 偉大的獵手Jonesie

有個小村莊正為一只吃人的獅子而煩惱。于是，村長派人去請偉大的獵手Jonesie來殺死這只野獸。

獵手躺著等了幾個晚上，但獅子一直沒有出現(xiàn)。最后，他要求村長殺只羊然后把頭皮給他。把羊皮披在身上后，獵人到草原上去等獅子。

半夜，村民被從草原傳來的聲嘶力竭的尖叫聲驚醒。他們小心地靠近后，看到獵手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。沒有獅子出沒的蛛絲馬跡。

“Jonesie，怎么了？獅子在哪？”村長問。

“哪有獅子！”獵人怒吼道，“哪個傻瓜把公牛放出來了？”

————————————————————————————————————————

Weather Predict

A film crew was on location deep in the desert.One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.” The next day it rained.A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.” The next day there was a hailstorm.“This Indian is incredible,” said the director.He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.Finally the director sent for him.“I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow,” said the director, “and I'm depending on you.What will the weather be like?”

The Indian shrugged his shoulders.“Don't know,” he said.“Radio is broken.” 天氣預報

一個電影攝制組在沙漠深處工作.一天,一個印度老人到導演跟前告訴導演說“明天下雨.”第二天果然下雨了.一周后,印度人又來告訴導演說,“明天有風暴.”果然,第二天下了雹暴.“印度人真神,”導演說.他告訴秘書雇傭該印度人來預報天氣.幾次預報都很成功.然后,接下來的兩周,印度人不見了.最后,導演派人去把他叫來了.“我明天必須拍一個很大的場景,”導演說,“這得靠你了.明天天氣如何啊?”

印度人聳了聳肩.“我不知道,”印度人說,“收音機壞了.”

——————————————————————————————————————————

I Am Acting Like a Lady

One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece.But he soon found himself being battered by

frantic women.He stood it as long as he could;then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.“You there!” challenged a thrill voice.“Can't you act like a gentleman?”

“Listen,” he said, “I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour.From now on, I am acting like a lady.”

我要表現(xiàn)得象位女士

一天，遠東百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位高貴的中年男士想給太太買一件?？墒?，沒過多久，他發(fā)現(xiàn)自己已被瘋狂的女人沖得踉踉蹌蹌。

他竭力忍耐著。后來，他低下頭，揮動雙臂，擠過人群。

“你干嘛？”有人尖聲叫道，“你難道不能表現(xiàn)得象位紳士嗎？”

“聽著，”他說，“我已經(jīng)象紳士一樣表現(xiàn)了一個小時。從現(xiàn)在起，我要表現(xiàn)得象個女士?！?/p>

第四篇：英語小笑話 帶翻譯

One day a person meet god......God suddenly decide to give the man a wish......God asked......What wishes do you have......The man thinking......Heard that cats have9 lives......Would you please give me9 lives......God said......Your wish come true......One day, the boring...Want to say one death to die......There are9 life lying on the tracks......The results of a train in the past......The man was dead......Why is this?

Because the train compartment having10day......有個人一天碰到上帝......上帝突然大發(fā)善心打算給那人一個愿望......上帝問......你有什么愿望嗎......那個人想了想......聽說貓都有9條命......那請您賜給我9條命吧......上帝說......你的愿望實現(xiàn)咯......一天，那個人閑來無聊......想說去死一死算了......反正有9條命嘛 就躺在鐵軌上......結果一輛火車開過去......那人還是死了......這是為什么呢？

因為那列火車的車廂有10節(jié)......Music class the teacher played a Beethoven song

Xiao Ming asked her:“ do you understand music?”

Xiaohua:“ yes”

Xiao Ming:“ you know what teachers do in the shells?”

Xiaohua:“ piano.”

音樂課上 老師彈了一首貝多芬的曲子

小明問小華：“你懂音樂嗎？”

小華：“是的”

小明：“那你知道老師在彈什麼嗎？”

小華: “鋼琴?！?/p>

Traveler: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?

Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run.It left fifteen minutes ago.旅行者：我還能趕上3點鐘那班到多倫多的火車嗎？

售票員：那得看你跑得有多快。火車15分鐘前開出。

第五篇：英語演講稿帶翻譯笑話

we are the world ,we are the future someone said “we are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book, whose pages are infinite”.i don’t know who wrote these words, but i’ve always liked them as a reminder that the future can be anything we want it to be.we are all in the position of the farmers.if we plant a good seed ,we reap a good harvest.if we plant nothing at all, we harvest nothing at all.we are young.“how to spend the youth?” it is a meaningful question.to answer it, first i have to ask “what do you understand by the word youth?” youth is not a time of life, it’s a state of mind.it’s not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips or supple knees.it’s the matter of the will.it’s the freshness of the deep spring of life.a poet said “to see a world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour.several days ago, i had a chance to listen to a lecture.i learnt a lot there.i’d like to share it with all of you.let’s show our right palms.we can see three lines that show how our love.career and life is.i have a short line of life.what about yours? i wondered whether we could see our future in this way.well, let’s make a fist.where is our future? where is our love, career, and life? tell me.yeah, it is in our hands.it is held in ourselves.we all want the future to be better than the past.but the future can go better itself.don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.from the past, we’ve learnt that the life is tough, but we are tougher.we’ve learnt that we can’t choose how we feel, but we can choose what about it.failure doesn’t mean you don’t have it, it does mean you should do it in a different way.failure doesn’t mean you should give up, it does mean you must try harder.as what i said at the beginning, “we are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book, whose pages are infinite”.the past has gone.nothing we do will change it.but the future is in front of us.believe that what we give to the world, the world will give to us.and from today on, let’s be the owners of ourselves, and speak out “we are the world, we are the future.”

世界是我們的，未來是我們的

一些人說“我們正在讀一本無窮的書中的第一章的第一節(jié)?！蔽也恢勒l寫了這些話，但是我一直很喜歡它，因為它提醒了我，我們能夠創(chuàng)造我們想要的未來。我們都是農(nóng)夫。如果我們播下好的種子，我們將會豐收。如果我們的種子很差，有很多草籽，收割的將是無用的莊稼。如果我們什么也不播種，什么收獲也沒有。

我們是年輕的?！霸鯓佣冗^青春？”這是個有意義的問題。為了去回答它，我首先要問“從?青春?這個詞中你能理解到什么？” 青春不是人生的一個時期，而是精神的一種狀態(tài)。青春不是桃面、丹唇、柔膝，而是深沉的意志。青春是生命的深泉在涌流.一位詩人說“從一粒沙看世界，從一朵花看天堂，把無限放在你的手掌，永恒在一剎那里收藏”。幾天前，我有了一個聽講座的機會，從中我學到了很多東西?，F(xiàn)在，我想把這些與大家共享。讓我們伸出右手，我們可以看到手掌中的展示我們的愛，事業(yè)和生活的三條線。我在生活方面這條線很短，那你們的呢？我想知道我們是否可以用這種辦法去看我們的未來。好的，讓我們一起握拳。我們的未

來在哪兒？我們的愛、事業(yè)和生活在哪兒？告訴我！是的，它們就在我們的手中。它們被我們自己掌握著。

我們所有人都希望未來能比過去更美好，但是未來能自己變得更好。不要因為結束而哭泣，微笑吧，為你的曾經(jīng)擁有。從過去來看，生活是艱苦的，但我們是更堅強。我們知道我們不能選擇感覺，但是我們能選擇和它相關的東西。失敗并不意味著你不擁有成功，它只意味著你應該用另一種方式去做這件事。失敗并不意味著你應該放棄，只意味著你應該更加努力。

正如我在前面所說的“我們正在讀一本無窮的書中的第一章的第一節(jié)?！边^去的已經(jīng)過去，無論我們無力改變，但是未來卻在我們前方。相信“我們給了世界什么，世界也將給我們”。并且從今天起，讓我們一起做我們自己的主人，一起大聲說出“世界是我們的，未來是我們的?！逼褐杏⑽挠哪葜v

幽默演講——調(diào)侃自己（中英對照））

演講者如何調(diào)侃自己

創(chuàng)新句子：你們或者睡覺，或者不睡，只要不打呼嚕，我就接著講。

幽默注釋：演講者講得太糟糕了，組織者哭得很傷心。

演講結束時，宴會主人感謝你從繁忙的日程中抽出時間來——你泰然自若，優(yōu)雅地點頭微笑著，心里非常清楚你日歷上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝點咖啡。

poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program---and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注釋：一些老干部退休后沒什么事干，有人請他參加一些活動，他還假裝很忙，好象推開了很多事才趕去似的。

過去我演講時常常會比較緊張，但那時我看到一條信息說如果你想象所有的觀眾都是裸體會有所幫助。此時此刻，我站在這里想象著觀眾都是裸體，真的起作用，我不再緊張了，但眼睛有些疲勞。

i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked.and so, at this very moment, i’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked.and it really works.i no suffer from nervousness.eyestrain.yes.幽默注釋：把觀眾想象成裸體，意思是我不怕你們，就不緊張了。

創(chuàng)新句子：大部分人站在講臺上都會有點兒緊張，我屬于少部分人，我非常緊張。

我本人不自負——我簡直不能告訴你們我是多么欽佩我這一點。personally, i have never been conceited---and i can’t tell you how much i admire myself for that.幽默句子：他因為自己不自負，所以變得非常驕傲。

創(chuàng)新句子：我一點兒都不自負，我希望別人也這么看我。

我先用簡單明了的英語演講，以后我再翻譯給律師聽。

let me put this into plain english.i’ll translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注釋：律師總喜歡用復雜的語言，簡單的話都聽不懂了。

創(chuàng)新句子：我的講話有三個版本，小學生版本，中學生版本，大學生版本，你是聽小學一年紀版的，還是小學二年紀版的？

如果你聽過這個故事，請不要打斷我，我就知道這一個故事。if you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one i know.幽默注釋：就是你知道兩個故事，講故事前也可以這么說。

創(chuàng)新句子：我講個笑話，如果你們聽過，也希望裝做沒聽過，我也這樣照顧你們。

演講就象給草坪澆水，如果有四分之一的水滲下去你就滿意了。

making a speech is like watering a lawn.you’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.幽默注釋：有人打呼嚕，有人說話，都是正常的，有四分之一觀眾聽就不錯了。

幽默句子：即興演講的開場白。

創(chuàng)新句子：我不知道你們會不會喜歡我的演講，我不知道我要講點兒什么。

開始前我想告訴你們下面的演講已經(jīng)編輯成了電視節(jié)目，我現(xiàn)在少講20分鐘，我們能夠及時趕回家看2臺的節(jié)目。

before i begin, i want you to know that the following speech has been edited for television.i cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.幽默注釋：放著現(xiàn)場不看，偏要回家在電視上看。

可能你們有些人知道我今晚出現(xiàn)在這里有兩個原因：第一個原因是你們的計劃委員會一直在設法尋找一個聰明、有趣、老練的演講者，——他們找到了。第二個原因是那個人病了，所以就打電話把我找來了。

幽默注釋：一開始好象在說自己很牛，其實就是個臨時替場。

創(chuàng)新句子：我認為我演講很風趣，可為什么沒人笑呢？

有人有舞臺恐懼癥，我沒有；舞臺不會怎么樣我，是觀眾快把我嚇死了！some people suffer from stage fright.i don’t.the stage doesn’t bother me at all.it’s the audience that scares the hell out of me!幽默注釋：stage fright舞臺恐懼癥，而不是舞臺嚇唬我。

我們每個人都希望能在某一時刻把時鐘撥回去。如果我能夠把時鐘撥回去 at one time or another, i think each of us has wished we could turn back the clock.i know if i could turn back the clock just 45 minutes, i’d be the happiest person in this room.because that’s when i left my speech on the kitchen table.幽默注釋：自己上臺前還在刻苦練習，演講稿落家里了，講錯了希望觀眾包涵。

我不想吹牛，但上次我演講時所有的觀眾都站了起來，他們再也沒有坐下，直到走到他們的汽車那兒。

i don’t want to brag, but the last time i did this it brought the audience to its feet.and they never sat down again until they reached their cars.幽默注釋：觀眾聽他演講，都站起來走了，他還在吹牛呢。

創(chuàng)新句子：我演講時用一種平緩的語速娓娓道來，觀眾睡得很香甜。

如果我有點兒猶豫，你們一定要原諒我，這是我第一次飯后演講——在賣當勞里沖我的小孩兒喊叫除外。if i’m a little hesitant, you’ll have to excuse me.this is the first after-dinner speech i’ve ever made---except for yelling at my kids in mcdonald’s.幽默注釋：自嘲自己演講沒什么經(jīng)驗。

創(chuàng)新句子：你可能知道我已經(jīng)養(yǎng)成了飯后演講的習慣。

我不習慣面對這么多觀眾演講，讓我鼓起勇氣的一件事情就是我在談論我最喜歡的題目——我。

i’m not used to speaking to such a large audience.the one thing that gives me courage is that i’m speaking on my favorite subject---me.幽默注釋：電視上老是邀請一些名人在那兒大談自己，這些人開場可以這么說。