第一篇：幽默短文

幽默短文又連貼了（哈哈）

Mr and Mrs Smith married thirty years ago........2001-08-24(408 reads)[1 comment]

Mr and Mrs Smith married thirty years ago, and they have lived in the same house since then.Mr Smith goes to work at eight 0'clock every morning, and he gets home at half past seven every evening, from Monday to Friday.There are quite a lot of houses in their street, and most of the neighbours are nice.But the old lady in the house opposite Mr and Mrs Smith died, and after a few weeks a young man and woman came to live in it.Mrs Smith watched them for a few days from her window and then she said to her husband, 'Bill, the.man in that house opposite always kisses his wife when he leaves in the morning and he kisses her again when he comes home in the evening.Why don't you do that too?'

'Well,' Mr Smith answered, 'I don't know her very well yet.'

回復(fù)： 幽默短文又連貼了（哈哈）

There were men soldiers and women......2001-08-24(390 reads)[No comment]

There were men soldiers and women soldiers in an army camp, and every Sunday morning they all went to church, but a lot of the soldiers did not like it much.There was a choir of men soldiers, and Captain Jones was trying to find women soldiers to sing in it too, but none of the ones in the camp offered to do this.Then one day Captain Jones saw a new girl soldier.She was a tall, very beautiful girl.Captain Jones went to her and said, 'Will you come and sing in the choir at our church, please?'

The girl was very surprised and said, 'But, sir, I can't sing at all!' 'Oh, that's all right,' answered Captain Jones.'That doesn't matter at all.You don't need to sing: I only want someone to keep the men soldiers looking in front of them when they are in the church.'

The Benefit of Knowing Another Language

------------------

Two mice(pl.老鼠)sat in their hole watching Cat lurk outside.“I know how to

make Cat go away,” said the first mouse.“How?” the second mouse asked in surprise.“Watch!Bow, wow！!” barked(吠叫)the first mouse.Peering(凝視)through their hole in the wall, they saw Cat running away in fear.“Ah, see the benefit of knowing another language

Frozen Parrot

------------------

David received a parrot for his birthday.This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary.Every other word was an expletive.Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least rude.David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example...Nothing worked.He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse.He shook the bird and the bird got more angry and more rude.Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer.For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking, and screaming-then suddenly there was quiet.David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said: ”I'm sorry that I might have offended you with my language and action and I ask your forgiveness.I will endeavor to correctmy behavior.“

David was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued: ”May I ask what the chicken did?"

挨凍的鸚鵡

戴維生日時(shí)收到了一只鸚鵡。這只鸚鵡態(tài)度惡劣、言辭粗俗，而那些不是臟話的至少可以說(shuō)是粗魯無(wú)禮。

戴維竭盡所能想改變鸚鵡的習(xí)慣，于是堅(jiān)持一直說(shuō)文雅的話，放輕柔的音樂(lè)，以及任何他所能想到的來(lái)盡力作出一個(gè)好榜樣。

但一切無(wú)濟(jì)于事。他朝著這鳥(niǎo)兒咆哮但只使事情更糟。他拼命搖晃鳥(niǎo)兒，鸚鵡就更加憤

怒和粗魯。

最終，在一陣絕望過(guò)后，戴維把鸚鵡送進(jìn)了冰箱。過(guò)了一會(huì)兒他聽(tīng)到鳥(niǎo)兒在抱怨，亂踢，還尖叫——接著突然安靜了下來(lái)。

戴維給嚇到了，他怕傷到了鳥(niǎo)兒趕緊打開(kāi)冰箱門(mén)。鸚鵡鎮(zhèn)靜的踱上戴維伸出的手臂說(shuō)：對(duì)不起，我的話語(yǔ)和行為可能冒犯了你，我請(qǐng)求你的原諒。我會(huì)盡力糾正自己的行為?！?/p>

戴維驚訝于它態(tài)度的急劇變化，正要問(wèn)是什么導(dǎo)致了如此驚人的改變，鸚鵡卻繼續(xù)問(wèn)道：“我可以問(wèn)一下那只雞做過(guò)什么嗎？”

Heading for Heaven

------------------

A man is waiting for wife to give birth.The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs.The son is just a head!But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.After 21 years,the son is old enough for his first drink.Dad takes him to the barand tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief,the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.Swoooop!A torso pops out!

The bar is dead silent

第二篇：英語(yǔ)幽默小短文

英語(yǔ)幽默小短文

The Old Cat

An old woman had a cat.The cat was very old;she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old.One day the old cat saw a mouse;she jumped and caught the mouse.But she could not bite it;so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse.She began to hit the cat.The cat said, “Do not hit your old servant.I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old.Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young.”

第三篇：幽默英語(yǔ)演講短文

篇一：幽默英語(yǔ)演講小短文(2分鐘的)[1]1 幽默英語(yǔ)演講小短文(2分鐘的)as food is to the body, so is learning to the mind.our bodies grow and muscles develop with the intake of adequate nutritious food.likewise, we should keep learning day by day to maintain our keen mental power and expand our intellectual capacity.constant learning supplies us with inexhaustible fuel for driving us to sharpen our power of reasoning, analysis, and judgment.learning incessantly is the surest way to keep pace with the times in the information age, and an infallible warrant of success in times of uncertainty.determination to sweep away obstacles to our success and strangling our desire for the refinement of our character.lack of learning will inevitably lead to the stagnation of the mind, or even worse, its fossilization, therefore, to stay mentally young, we have to take learning as a lifelong career.學(xué)習(xí)之于心靈，就像食物之于身體一樣。攝取了適量的營(yíng)養(yǎng)

一旦學(xué)習(xí)停止，單調(diào)貧乏的生活就開(kāi)始了。視學(xué)校為汲取知識(shí)的唯一場(chǎng)所是種常見(jiàn)的謬誤。相反地，學(xué)習(xí)應(yīng)該是一種無(wú)終止的歷程，從生到死。由于世界一直快速地在變動(dòng)，只要學(xué)習(xí)停頓數(shù)日就將使人落后。更糟的是，蟄伏在我們潛意識(shí)深處的獸性本能就會(huì)復(fù)活，削弱我們追求高貴理想的意志，弱化我們掃除成功障礙的決心，而且扼殺我們凈化我們?nèi)烁竦挠?。缺少學(xué)習(xí)將不可避免地導(dǎo)致心靈的停滯，甚至更糟地，使其僵化。因此，為了保持心理年輕，我們必須將學(xué)習(xí)當(dāng)作一生的事業(yè)。

2．heavy schoolwork【課業(yè)繁重】

in my opinion, the schoolwork now being assigned to high school students is too heavy.while it is true that students need to study, they need other things as well if they are to grow into healthy and well-rounded adults.high should be allowed more time for play.playing is not wasting time, as some think.it gives them physical exercise, and also exercise their imagination.which tends to be stifled by too much study.finally, the pressure put on high school students by excessive schoolwork can cause serious stress, which is unhealthy physically and mentally.i do not advocate the elimination of schoolwork.i do think, however, that a reduction of the current heavy load would be beneficial to students and to the society as a whole.我認(rèn)為目前高中生的課業(yè)實(shí)在太重了，雖然說(shuō)學(xué)生的確應(yīng)當(dāng)念書(shū)，但是要想長(zhǎng)大成為健全的人，他門(mén)還需要一些其它的東西，所以應(yīng)該給高中生較多從事娛樂(lè)的時(shí)間。娛樂(lè)并不如某些人所想的，是在浪費(fèi)時(shí)間，它可以讓學(xué)生鍛煉身體，發(fā)揮被繁重課業(yè)扼殺的想象力。此外，繁重的課業(yè)加諸在高中生身上的壓力可能引起嚴(yán)重的情緒緊張，這對(duì)身心都有害。我并非主張廢除學(xué)校課業(yè)，但是我認(rèn)為減輕目前繁重的課業(yè)對(duì)于學(xué)生和整個(gè)社會(huì)都是有益的。

3．time【時(shí)間】 lost time is never found again.this is something which i learned very clearly last semester.i spent so much time fooling around that my grades began to suffer.i finally realized that something had to be done.it was time for a change.now i have a new plan for using my time wisely.i have set my alarm clock ahead half an hour.this will give me a head start on the day.i have also decided to keep a log of what i do and when i do it.looking back on what i’ve done will give me some ideas on how to reorganize my time.時(shí)光一去不復(fù)返，這是我上學(xué)期清楚學(xué)到的教訓(xùn)。我浪費(fèi)很

多時(shí)間四處游蕩，以致于我的成績(jī)開(kāi)始退步。最后我終于了解到我必須有所作為；該是痛改前非的時(shí)候了。

現(xiàn)在我有一個(gè)明智運(yùn)用時(shí)間的新方法。我已將鬧鐘早撥半小時(shí)，這將使我這一天的作息提前開(kāi)始。我也決定將我所做的一切及做這些事的時(shí)間記錄下來(lái)?；仡櫸宜龅氖虑闀?huì)啟發(fā)我如何重新安排我的時(shí)間。

4．work and play【工作與娛樂(lè)】

來(lái)說(shuō)，適度的娛樂(lè)活動(dòng)能提供各種管道，來(lái)渲泄你被壓抑的情緒，減輕單調(diào)生活中的緊張與不悅。

放學(xué)之后，我最常做的休閑活動(dòng)，便是慢跑與看電影。通常我并不特地?fù)艹鰰r(shí)間來(lái)做運(yùn)動(dòng)，但是我很重視學(xué)校的體育課。在操場(chǎng)上慢跑幾圈，無(wú)疑地可以減輕一天的壓力。在周末時(shí)，我都去看早場(chǎng)電影，享受視覺(jué)饗宴。如此一來(lái)，我將有如再生般的充沛活力，去面對(duì)下一星期的工作量。

5．my first job【我的第一份工作】

my first job was at a cramming school.it was three years ago when i just graduated from junior high school and finished the entrance examination.since i had nothing to do that summer, i decided to find a job, tasting the joy of independence.i was responsible for answering the telephone and taking the message.i worked eight hours a day, six days a week.the work was not difficult nor heavy to me and i guess i did well.the most delighted thing was perhaps that i could spend the money i earned all by myself.我的第一份工作是在一家補(bǔ)習(xí)班做事。那是三年前我剛從國(guó)中畢業(yè)，考完聯(lián)考時(shí)的事了。既然我那整個(gè)夏天都閑著沒(méi)事，倒不如找份差事，嘗嘗獨(dú)立賺錢的快樂(lè)。

我負(fù)責(zé)接聽(tīng)電話且紀(jì)錄留言的工作。我一天工作八小時(shí)，一星期工作六天。那份工作對(duì)我而言既不困難亦不沉重，所以我想我還滿稱職的。而最令人快樂(lè)的事大概莫過(guò)于花全部由自己 篇二：幽默英語(yǔ)演講稿

幽默英語(yǔ)演講稿

love your mother 愛(ài)你的母親

why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你為什么哭?一個(gè)小男孩問(wèn)他的媽媽.because im a woman, she told him.因?yàn)槲沂桥?她告訴他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答 his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........媽媽擁抱了他說(shuō),你永遠(yuǎn)也不會(huì)明白,但沒(méi)關(guān)系...later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后來(lái)小男孩問(wèn)他的父親媽媽為什么似乎在無(wú)緣無(wú)故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say......所有的女人都會(huì)常常沒(méi)有原因地哭泣,這是他的父親唯一可以解釋的...the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩長(zhǎng)大,成了男人的時(shí)候, 他仍然奇怪媽媽為什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把這件事禱告給上帝,他問(wèn)上帝,為什么女人容易哭泣? god answered......上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special.i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 當(dāng)我創(chuàng)造女人的時(shí)候, 我決定把她造的很特別, 我讓她的雙肩強(qiáng)壯的足以能夠承擔(dān)整個(gè)世界,但是, 卻讓她的雙臂溫柔的足夠去安慰他人...i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth 篇三：幽默英語(yǔ)演講小短文(2分鐘的)as food is to the body, so is learning to the mind.our bodies grow and muscles develop with the intake of adequate nutritious food.likewise, we should keep learning day by day to maintain our keen mental power and expand our intellectual capacity.constant learning supplies us with inexhaustible fuel for driving us to sharpen our power of reasoning, analysis, and judgment.learning incessantly is the surest way to keep pace with the times in the information age, and an infallible warrant of success in times of uncertainty.學(xué)習(xí)之于心靈，就像食物之于身體一樣。攝取了適量的營(yíng)養(yǎng)食物，我們的身體得以生長(zhǎng)而肌肉得以發(fā)達(dá)。同樣地，我們應(yīng)該日復(fù)一日不斷地學(xué)習(xí)以保持我們敏銳的心智能力，并擴(kuò)充我們的智力容量。不斷的學(xué)習(xí)提供我們用不盡的燃料，來(lái)驅(qū)使我們磨利我們的推理、分析和判斷的能力。持續(xù)的學(xué)習(xí)是在信息時(shí)代中跟時(shí)代并駕齊驅(qū)的最穩(wěn)當(dāng)?shù)姆椒?，也是在變?dòng)的世代中成功的可靠保證。

一旦學(xué)習(xí)停止，單調(diào)貧乏的生活就開(kāi)始了。視學(xué)校為汲取知識(shí)的唯一場(chǎng)所是種常見(jiàn)的謬誤。相反地，學(xué)習(xí)應(yīng)該是一種無(wú)終止的歷程，從生到死。由于世界一直快速地在變動(dòng)，只要學(xué)習(xí)停頓數(shù)日就將使人落后。更糟的是，蟄伏在我們潛意識(shí)深處的獸性本能就會(huì)復(fù)活，削弱我們追求高貴理想的意志，弱化我們掃除成功障礙的決心，而且扼殺我們凈化我們?nèi)烁竦挠?。缺少學(xué)習(xí)將不可避免地導(dǎo)致心靈的停滯，甚至更糟地，使其僵化。因此，為了保持心理年輕，我們必須將學(xué)習(xí)當(dāng)作一生的事業(yè)。

2．heavy schoolwork【課業(yè)繁重】 in my opinion, the schoolwork now being assigned to high school students is too heavy.while it is true that students need to study, they need other things as well if they are to grow into healthy and well-rounded adults.high should be allowed more time for play.playing is not wasting time, as some think.it gives them physical exercise, and also exercise their imagination.which tends to be stifled by too much study.finally, the pressure put on high school students by excessive schoolwork can cause serious stress, which is unhealthy physically and mentally.i do not advocate the elimination of schoolwork.i do think, however, that a reduction of the current heavy load would be beneficial to students and to the society as a whole.我認(rèn)為目前高中生的課業(yè)實(shí)在太重了，雖然說(shuō)學(xué)生的確應(yīng)當(dāng)念書(shū)，但是要想長(zhǎng)大成為健全的人，他門(mén)還需要一些其它的東西，所以應(yīng)該給高中生較多從事娛樂(lè)的時(shí)間。娛樂(lè)并不如某些人所想的，是在浪費(fèi)時(shí)間，它可以讓學(xué)生鍛煉身體，發(fā)揮被繁重課業(yè)扼殺的想象力。此外，繁重的課業(yè)加諸在高中生身上的壓力可能引起嚴(yán)重的情緒緊張，這對(duì)身心都有害。我并非主張廢除學(xué)校課業(yè)，但是我認(rèn)為減輕目前繁重的課業(yè)對(duì)于學(xué)生和整個(gè)社會(huì)都是有益的。

3．time【時(shí)間】 lost time is never found again.this is something which i learned very clearly last semester.i spent so much time fooling around that my grades began to suffer.i finally realized that something had to be done.it was time for a change.now i have a new plan for using my time wisely.i have set my alarm clock ahead half an hour.this will give me a head start on the day.i have also decided to keep a log of what i do and when i do it.looking back on what i’ve done will give me some ideas on how to reorganize my time.時(shí)光一去不復(fù)返，這是我上學(xué)期清楚學(xué)到的教訓(xùn)。我浪費(fèi)很多時(shí)間四處游蕩，以致于我的成績(jī)開(kāi)始退步。最后我終于了解到我必須有所作為；該是痛改前非的時(shí)候了。

現(xiàn)在我有一個(gè)明智運(yùn)用時(shí)間的新方法。我已將鬧鐘早撥半小時(shí)，這將使我這一天的作息提前開(kāi)始。我也決定將我所做的一切及做這些事的時(shí)間記錄下來(lái)?；仡櫸宜龅氖虑闀?huì)啟發(fā)我如何重新安排我的時(shí)間。

4．work and play【工作與娛樂(lè)】

what i usually do to relax after school is jogging and seeing movies.usually i dont spare time for exercise, but i value the physical education class at school.jogging several rounds in the field certainly relieves the days pressure.on weekends, ill catch the morning movie for my visual enjoyment.i feel revived and energetic for another weeks work-load.工作與娛樂(lè)并不互相沖突，事實(shí)上，它們之間的關(guān)系還相輔相成。有句格言說(shuō)：「整日工作而沒(méi)有休閑娛樂(lè)，會(huì)令人變得沉悶乏味?！贡还ぷ髦?fù)?dān)壓得喘不過(guò)氣來(lái)的生活，將使你一事無(wú)成，因?yàn)槟銓?duì)一成不變的例行公事感到厭煩。由另一方面來(lái)說(shuō)，適度的娛樂(lè)活動(dòng)能提供各種管道，來(lái)渲泄你被壓抑的情緒，減輕單調(diào)生活中的緊張與不悅。

放學(xué)之后，我最常做的休閑活動(dòng)，便是慢跑與看電影。通常我并不特地?fù)艹鰰r(shí)間來(lái)做運(yùn)動(dòng)，但是我很重視學(xué)校的體育課。在操場(chǎng)上慢跑幾圈，無(wú)疑地可以減輕一天的壓力。在周末時(shí)，我都去看早場(chǎng)電影，享受視覺(jué)饗宴。如此一來(lái)，我將有如再生般的充沛活力，去面對(duì)下一星期的工作量。

5．my first job【我的第一份工作】

my first job was at a cramming school.it was three years ago when i just graduated from junior high school and finished the entrance examination.since i had nothing to do that summer, i decided to find a job, tasting the joy of independence.i was responsible for answering the telephone and taking the message.i worked eight hours a day, six days a week.the work was not difficult nor heavy to me and i guess i did well.the most delighted thing was perhaps that i could spend the money i earned all by myself.我的第一份工作是在一家補(bǔ)習(xí)班做事。那是三年前我剛從國(guó)中畢業(yè)，考完聯(lián)考時(shí)的事了。既然我那整個(gè)夏天都閑著沒(méi)事，倒不如找份差事，嘗嘗獨(dú)立賺錢的快樂(lè)。

我負(fù)責(zé)接聽(tīng)電話且紀(jì)錄留言的工作。我一天工作八小時(shí)，一星期工作六天。那份工作對(duì)我而言既不困難亦不沉重，所以我想我還滿稱職的。而最令人快樂(lè)的事大概莫過(guò)于花全部由自己賺來(lái)的錢了！6．my favorite sports【我最喜愛(ài)的運(yùn)動(dòng)】

sports help everyone to keep healthy, happy, and efficient.so i pay special attention to games, especially table-tennis.table tennis is my favorite game.i play it almost every day.table-tennis is an ideal game us because it brings the whole body into action.it strengthens our muscles, expands our lungs, promotes the circulation of the blood, and causes a healthy action of the skin.besides, it is very amusing and does not cost us much money.table-tennis is very moderate;it is not so rough as football.it is an indoor game and can be played even on rainy days.thus, it is my favorite kind of exercise.運(yùn)動(dòng)能幫助每一個(gè)人保持健康、快樂(lè)和有效率。所以我特別重視運(yùn)動(dòng)，特別是桌球，桌球是我最喜歡的運(yùn)動(dòng)。我?guī)缀趺刻焱妗?/p>

桌球?qū)ξ覀兌?，是一?xiàng)理想的運(yùn)動(dòng)，因?yàn)樗梢允刮覀內(nèi)磉\(yùn)動(dòng)，它可以增強(qiáng)我們的肌肉，擴(kuò)張我們的肺部，促進(jìn)血液循環(huán)，并且使肌膚產(chǎn)生健康作用，此外，它很有趣而且所費(fèi)不多。桌球是相當(dāng)溫和適中的，它不像足球那么粗野。它是一種室內(nèi)運(yùn)動(dòng)，甚至在下雨天也能玩。因此，桌球是我最喜愛(ài)的一種運(yùn)動(dòng)。

篇四：幽默英語(yǔ)演講小短文(2分鐘的)as food is to the body, so is learning to the mind.our bodies grow and muscles develop with the intake of adequate nutritious food.likewise, we should keep learning day by day to maintain our keen mental power and expand our intellectual capacity.constant learning supplies us with inexhaustible fuel for driving us to sharpen our power of reasoning, analysis, and judgment.learning incessantly is the surest way to keep pace with the times in the information age, and an infallible warrant of success in times of uncertainty.學(xué)習(xí)之于心靈，就像食物之于身體一樣。攝取了適量的營(yíng)養(yǎng)食物，我們的身體得以生長(zhǎng)而肌肉得以發(fā)達(dá)。同樣地，我們應(yīng)該日復(fù)一日不斷地學(xué)習(xí)以保持我們敏銳的心智能力，并擴(kuò)充我們的智力容量。不斷的學(xué)習(xí)提供我們用不盡的燃料，來(lái)驅(qū)使我們磨利我們的推理、分析和判斷的能力。持續(xù)的學(xué)習(xí)是在信息時(shí)代中跟時(shí)代并駕齊驅(qū)的最穩(wěn)當(dāng)?shù)姆椒?，也是在變?dòng)的世代中成功的可靠保證。

一旦學(xué)習(xí)停止，單調(diào)貧乏的生活就開(kāi)始了。視學(xué)校為汲取知識(shí)的唯一場(chǎng)所是種常見(jiàn)的謬誤。相反地，學(xué)習(xí)應(yīng)該是一種無(wú)終止的歷程，從生到死。由于世界一直快速地在變動(dòng)，只要學(xué)習(xí)停頓數(shù)日就將使人落后。更糟的是，蟄伏在我們潛意識(shí)深處的獸性本能就會(huì)復(fù)活，削弱我們追求高貴理想的意志，弱化我們掃除成功障礙的決心，而且扼殺我們凈化我們?nèi)烁竦挠?。缺少學(xué)習(xí)將不可避免地導(dǎo)致心靈的停滯，甚至更糟地，使其僵化。因此，為了保持心理年輕，我們必須將學(xué)習(xí)當(dāng)作一生的事業(yè)。

2．heavy schoolwork【課業(yè)繁重】

in my opinion, the schoolwork now being assigned to high school students is too heavy.while it is true that students need to study, they need other things as well if they are to grow into healthy and well-rounded adults.high should be allowed more time for play.playing is not wasting time, as some think.it gives them physical exercise, and also exercise their imagination.which tends to be stifled by too much study.finally, the pressure put on high school students by excessive schoolwork can cause serious stress, which is unhealthy physically and mentally.i do not advocate the elimination of schoolwork.i do think, however, that a reduction of the current heavy load would be beneficial to students and to the society as a whole.我認(rèn)為目前高中生的課業(yè)實(shí)在太重了，雖然說(shuō)學(xué)生的確應(yīng)當(dāng)念書(shū)，但是要想長(zhǎng)大成為健全的人，他門(mén)還需要一些其它的東西，所以應(yīng)該給高中生較多從事娛樂(lè)的時(shí)間。娛樂(lè)并不如某些人所想的，是在浪費(fèi)時(shí)間，它可以讓學(xué)生鍛煉身體，發(fā)揮被繁重課業(yè)扼殺的想象力。此外，繁重的課業(yè)加諸在高中生身上的壓力可能引起嚴(yán)重的情緒緊張，這對(duì)身心都有害。我并非主張廢除學(xué)校課業(yè)，但是我認(rèn)為減

輕目前繁重的課業(yè)對(duì)于學(xué)生和整個(gè)社會(huì)都是有益的。

3．time【時(shí)間】 lost time is never found again.this is something which i learned very clearly last semester.i spent so much time fooling around that my grades began to suffer.i finally realized that something had to be done.it was time for a change.now i have a new plan for using my time wisely.i have set my alarm clock ahead half an hour.this will give me a head start on the day.i have also decided to keep a log of what i do and when i do it.looking back on what i’ve done will give me some ideas on how to reorganize my time.時(shí)光一去不復(fù)返，這是我上學(xué)期清楚學(xué)到的教訓(xùn)。我浪費(fèi)很多時(shí)間四處游蕩，以致于我的成績(jī)開(kāi)始退步。最后我終于了解到我必須有所作為；該是痛改前非的時(shí)候了。

現(xiàn)在我有一個(gè)明智運(yùn)用時(shí)間的新方法。我已將鬧鐘早撥半小時(shí)，這將使我這一天的作息提前開(kāi)始。我也決定將我所做的一切及做這些事的時(shí)間記錄下來(lái)?；仡櫸宜龅氖虑闀?huì)啟發(fā)我如何重新安排我的時(shí)間。

4．work and play【工作與娛樂(lè)】

what i usually do to relax after school is jogging and seeing movies.usually i dont spare time for exercise, but i value the physical education class at school.jogging several rounds in the field certainly relieves the days pressure.on weekends, ill catch the morning movie for my visual enjoyment.i feel revived and energetic for another weeks work-load.工作與娛樂(lè)并不互相沖突，事實(shí)上，它們之間的關(guān)系還相輔相成。有句格言說(shuō)：「整日工作而沒(méi)有休閑娛樂(lè)，會(huì)令人變得沉悶乏味。」被工作重?fù)?dān)壓得喘不過(guò)氣來(lái)的生活，將使你一事無(wú)成，因?yàn)槟銓?duì)一成不變的例行公事感到厭煩。由另一方面來(lái)說(shuō)，適度的娛樂(lè)活動(dòng)能提供各種管道，來(lái)渲泄你被壓抑的情緒，減輕單調(diào)生活中的緊張與不悅。

放學(xué)之后，我最常做的休閑活動(dòng)，便是慢跑與看電影。通常我并不特地?fù)艹鰰r(shí)間來(lái)做運(yùn)動(dòng)，但是我很重視學(xué)校的體育課。在操場(chǎng)上慢跑幾圈，無(wú)疑地可以減輕一天的壓力。在周末時(shí)，我都去看早場(chǎng)電影，享受視覺(jué)饗宴。如此一來(lái)，我將有如再生般的充沛活力，去面對(duì)下一星期的工作量。

5．my first job【我的第一份工作】

my first job was at a cramming school.it was three years ago when i just graduated from junior high school and finished the entrance examination.since i had nothing to do that summer, i decided to find a job, tasting the joy of independence.i was responsible for answering the telephone and taking the message.i worked eight hours a day, six days a week.the work was not difficult nor heavy to me and i guess i did well.the most delighted thing was perhaps that i could spend the money i earned all by myself.我的第一份工作是在一家補(bǔ)習(xí)班做事。那是三年前我剛從國(guó)中畢業(yè)，考完聯(lián)考時(shí)的事了。既然我那整個(gè)夏天都閑著沒(méi)事，倒不如找份差事，嘗嘗獨(dú)立賺錢的快樂(lè)。

我負(fù)責(zé)接聽(tīng)電話且紀(jì)錄留言的工作。我一天工作八小時(shí)，一星期工作六天。那份工作對(duì)我而言既不困難亦不沉重，所以我想我還滿稱職的。而最令人快樂(lè)的事大概莫過(guò)于花全部由自己賺來(lái)的錢了！6．my favorite sports【我最喜愛(ài)的運(yùn)動(dòng)】

sports help everyone to keep healthy, happy, and efficient.so i pay special attention to games, especially table-tennis.table tennis is my favorite game.i play it almost every day.table-tennis is an ideal game us because it brings the whole body into action.it strengthens our muscles, expands our lungs, promotes the circulation of the blood, and causes a healthy action of the skin.besides, it is very amusing and does not cost us much money.table-tennis is very moderate;it is not so rough as football.it is an indoor game and can be played even on rainy days.thus, it is my favorite kind of exercise.運(yùn)動(dòng)能幫助每一個(gè)人保持健康、快樂(lè)和有效率。所以我特別重視運(yùn)動(dòng)，特別是桌球，桌球是我最喜歡的運(yùn)動(dòng)。我?guī)缀趺刻焱妗?/p>

桌球?qū)ξ覀兌?，是一?xiàng)理想的運(yùn)動(dòng)，因?yàn)樗梢允刮覀內(nèi)磉\(yùn)動(dòng)，它可以增強(qiáng)我們的肌肉，擴(kuò)張我們的肺部，促進(jìn)血液循環(huán)，并且使肌膚產(chǎn)生健康作用，此外，它很有趣而且所費(fèi)不多。桌球是相當(dāng)溫和適中的，它不像足球那么粗野。它是一種室內(nèi)運(yùn)動(dòng)，甚至在下雨天也能玩。因此，桌球是我最喜愛(ài)的一種運(yùn)動(dòng)。

第四篇：英語(yǔ)幽默小短文

英語(yǔ)幽默小短文

Wake up!Wake up!It's time for sleeping pills!

醒來(lái)！醒來(lái)！現(xiàn)在該吃安眠藥了！

The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours.then he started again, and said he:“Let me ask the evolutionist a question---if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?”

“I'll venture an answer, ” said an old lady.“We have worn them off sitting here so long.”.教進(jìn)化論的老師已經(jīng)滔滔不絕地講了快兩個(gè)小時(shí)，他的話題又來(lái)了：“讓我向進(jìn)化論者提個(gè)問(wèn)題——如果我們?cè)?jīng)像狒狒那樣長(zhǎng)著尾巴，那么現(xiàn)在尾巴到哪里去了？”

“我來(lái)試試看，”一位老太太說(shuō)。

“該是我們?cè)谶@里坐這么久把它們磨掉了吧。”

Late one night at the insane asylum(瘋?cè)嗽海﹐ne inmate shouted, “I am Napoleon!”

Another one said, “How do you know?”

The first inmate said, “God told me!”

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, “I did not!”

瘋?cè)嗽?/p>

一天晚上，在瘋?cè)嗽豪铮粋€(gè)病人說(shuō)：“我是拿破侖！”另一個(gè)說(shuō)：“你怎么知道？”第一個(gè)人說(shuō)：“上帝對(duì)我說(shuō)的！”一會(huì)兒，一個(gè)聲音從另一個(gè)房間傳來(lái)：“我沒(méi)說(shuō)！”

Improvement

One student to another: “How are your English lessons coming along?”“Fine.I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me.”

進(jìn)步

一位學(xué)生對(duì)另一位說(shuō)：“你的英語(yǔ)最近學(xué)的怎么樣？”

“很好，我過(guò)去不懂英國(guó)人說(shuō)話，可現(xiàn)在是英國(guó)人不懂我的話了?！?/p>

Half or Five Tenths?

Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five

tenths.半個(gè)還是十分之五

老師：你愿意要半個(gè)柑橘，還是十分之五個(gè)柑橘？

杰拉得：我寧可要半個(gè)。

老師：仔細(xì)想想，說(shuō)出理由來(lái)。

杰拉得：因?yàn)槟闳绻迅涕偾谐墒种?，那柑橘汁就損失太多了。

The Reason of Being Late

Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?

Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School--Go Slow'.遲到的原因

老 師：約翰尼，為什么你每天早晨都遲到？

約翰尼：每當(dāng)我經(jīng)過(guò)學(xué)校附近的拐角處，就見(jiàn)路牌上寫(xiě)著‘學(xué)校－緩行’。

When Do People Talk Least?

Student A: When do people talk least?

Student B: In February.Student A: Why?

Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.人們什么時(shí)候說(shuō)話最少？

學(xué)生甲：人們?cè)谑裁磿r(shí)候說(shuō)話最少？

學(xué)生乙：在二月。

學(xué)生甲：為什么呢？

學(xué)生乙：因?yàn)槎率且荒曛凶疃痰囊粋€(gè)月。

The plural Form of “Child”

Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?

Tom: Men.Teacher: Good.And the plural of child?

Tom: Twins.“孩子”的復(fù)數(shù)形式

老師：湯姆，‘男人’這個(gè)詞的復(fù)數(shù)形式是什么？

湯姆：男人們。

老師：答得好。那‘孩子’的復(fù)數(shù)形式呢？

湯姆：雙胞胎。

All Except the Music

A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical

music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert.To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices.Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, “Have you enjoyed yourself today?”

“Oh, yes, miss!” said Sally, “It was lovely.All except the music, that is.”除了音樂(lè)

一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學(xué)生多了解一點(diǎn)優(yōu)秀的古典音樂(lè)，就安排了一天下午去聽(tīng)音樂(lè)會(huì)。為了使這次活動(dòng)能給大家留下更深的印象，她請(qǐng)大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點(diǎn)心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回來(lái)上汽車的時(shí)候，她問(wèn)小薩莉：“你今天玩得好嗎？”

“噢，好極了，小姐，” 薩莉說(shuō)，“除了音樂(lè)其它都很好。”

My Sister's Fingers

Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.Teacher: I don't see any bandages.Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers!I told my little sister to hold the nail.我妹妹的手指頭

老師：凱溫，這次你怎么又遲到了？

凱溫：對(duì)不起，老師，我在家釘釘子，砸壞了兩個(gè)手指頭。

老師：怎么沒(méi)有扎繃帶呀？

凱溫：噢，砸的不是我的手指頭，我叫小妹妹扶著釘子的。

The Climate of New Zealand

Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

Matthew: Very Cold, sir.Teacher: Wrong.Matthew: But, sir!When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!新西蘭的氣候

老師：馬修，新西蘭的氣候怎么樣？

馬修：先生，那里的天氣很冷。

老師：錯(cuò)了。

馬修：可是，先生！從那兒運(yùn)來(lái)的豬肉都凍得硬邦邦的。

Lightning

Teacher: Why is it said that lightning never strikes the same place twice?Roy: Because after it's struck once the same place isn't there any more!閃電

老師：為什么說(shuō)閃電從來(lái)不會(huì)兩次擊中同一個(gè)地方？

羅伊：因?yàn)樗鼡糁幸粋€(gè)地方一次以后，那個(gè)地方就不存在了。

Who Discovered Australia?

Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.Johnny: It's there, sir.Teacher: That's right.Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?

Sammy: Johnny, sir.誰(shuí)發(fā)現(xiàn)了澳大利亞？

老師：約翰尼，在地圖上給我找出澳大利亞在什么地方。

約翰尼：先生，在這兒。

老師：對(duì)了。薩默，你來(lái)回答我是誰(shuí)發(fā)現(xiàn)了澳大利亞？

薩默：先生，是約翰尼。

Essay

Teacher had set his class an essay in “A Game of Cricket”.After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home.His essay read: “Rain stopped play.”

作文

老師給學(xué)生出了個(gè)作文題：“一場(chǎng)板球賽”。兩分鐘后，西蒙。斯蒂爾交了作文，老師允許他回家了。他在作文上寫(xiě)道：“下雨，比賽終止?！?/p>

How Many Rabbits?

Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have?

Jonathan: Nine, sir.Teacher: Nine?

Jonathan: I've got one already, sir.多少只兔子？

老師：好，喬納森，假如我給你三只兔子，第二天我又給你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？

喬納森：一共有九只，先生。

老師：九只？

喬納森：先生，我本來(lái)就有一只。

To Go to Heaven

Sunday School teacher: Hands up all those who want to go to Heaven? Hands up.....what about you, Terry? You haven't got your hand up--don't you want

to go to Heaven?

Terry: I can't.My Mum told me to go straight home.去天堂

主日學(xué)校的教員：想去天堂的人舉起手來(lái)，把手舉起來(lái)。。你呢，哈里？你還沒(méi)舉手呢--你不想去天堂嗎？

哈里： 我去不了，因?yàn)閶寢屪屛乙环艑W(xué)就回家。

第五篇：英語(yǔ)幽默小短文

英語(yǔ)幽默小短文

Two birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.兩只鳥(niǎo)

老師： 這兒有兩只鳥(niǎo)，一只是麻雀。誰(shuí)能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？

學(xué)生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老師：請(qǐng)說(shuō)說(shuō)看。

學(xué)生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。

The Fish Net

“Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?”

“A lot of little holes tied together with strings.” replied the little girl.魚(yú)網(wǎng)

“你能告訴我魚(yú)網(wǎng)是什么做的嗎，安？” 老師發(fā)問(wèn)道。

“把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚(yú)網(wǎng)了?！?小女孩回答道。

The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.“George, how did you like your new teacher?” asked his mother.“I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....”

新老師

9月1日，喬治放學(xué)回到家里。

“喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎？” 媽媽問(wèn)。

“媽媽，我不喜歡，因?yàn)樗f(shuō)3加3得6, 可后來(lái)又說(shuō)2加4也得6。”

A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.一次物理考試

在一次物理考試時(shí)，當(dāng)同學(xué)們都還在苦思冥想時(shí)，尼克很快就答好了第一個(gè)問(wèn)題。這個(gè)問(wèn)題是：為什么在打雷時(shí)，我們總是先看到閃電后聽(tīng)到雷聲？

尼克的回答是：因?yàn)檠劬υ谇埃湓诤?/p>

Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night.He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm.He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: “I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.”

“That's fine,” roared the boss, “but where were you Monday and Tuesday?”

安眠藥

鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫(yī)生，醫(yī)生給他開(kāi)了一些強(qiáng)力安眠藥。

星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過(guò)來(lái)。他到了辦公室，遛達(dá)進(jìn)去，對(duì)老板說(shuō)：“我今天早上起床一點(diǎn)麻煩都沒(méi)有。”

“好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了？”

Creative Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications.Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes.I got the job.I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.創(chuàng)造性

第一次求職時(shí)，我意識(shí)到在列舉我所具備的為數(shù)不多的條件時(shí)，得有點(diǎn)創(chuàng)造性。當(dāng)問(wèn)及我是否受過(guò)其它的培訓(xùn)時(shí)，我老實(shí)地回答說(shuō)我花了三年時(shí)間學(xué)計(jì)算機(jī)程序設(shè)計(jì)課。我得到了那份工作。

我沒(méi)有提到那門(mén)功課我重復(fù)學(xué)了三年才考及格

I knew that!There were two men who went out to eat together.They ordered fish.So on the table there were two fish.Normally not all the fish are alike in size, so there was one small, and one big.The first man just took the big one for himself without asking and feeling ashamed, or anything;and ate it.The other friend felt very disturbed and annoyed, he didn't know what to say.So he thought for a while, and then he said,“ If it were me,” I would have taken the smaller onefirst.“ So the other guy said,” See!I knew that!That's why I took the big one.“ He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed.He hurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad.How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.他贏了

湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？

約翰尼：他害病臥床了。他受了傷。湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？

約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰(shuí)能把身子探出窗外最遠(yuǎn)，他贏了。I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, ”What happened?“ ”A kid bit me,“ replied Ivan.”Would you recognize him if you saw him again?“ asked his mother.”I'd know him any where,“ said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.“ 他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問(wèn)，“發(fā)生了什么事？” “一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說(shuō)?！霸僖?jiàn)到他你能認(rèn)出來(lái)嗎？”媽媽問(wèn)。

“他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說(shuō)。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢?！?只剩一個(gè)引擎 One Engine Left

A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, ”Attention, passengers.We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left.Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult.“ Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, ”Guess what, folks.We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one.We will now arrive in London three hours late.“ At this point, one passenger became furious.”For Pete's sake,“ he shouted, ”If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!“

一架747客機(jī)正在跨越大西洋時(shí)，喇叭里傳來(lái)了機(jī)長(zhǎng)的聲音：“旅客們請(qǐng)注意，我們的四個(gè)引擎中有一個(gè)丟失了。但剩下的三個(gè)引擎會(huì)把我們帶到倫敦的。只是我們要因此晚到一小時(shí)?！?過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，旅客們又聽(tīng)到機(jī)長(zhǎng)的聲音：“各位，你們猜怎么啦 ？我們剛又掉了第三個(gè)引擎。但請(qǐng)你們相信好了。只有一個(gè)引擎我們也能飛，但要晚三個(gè)小時(shí)了。” 正在這時(shí)，一位乘客非常氣憤地說(shuō)：“看在上帝的份上，如果我們?cè)俚粢粋€(gè)引擎，我們就要整夜都要呆在天上了?！?The Advantage of Wearing Glasses

Helen's eyes were not very good，so she usually wore glasses，but when she nineteen and began to go out with a young man，she never wore glasses when she was with him.When he came to the door to take her out，she would take her glasses off，and when she got back home again and he left，she would put them on.One day her mother asked her:

“But Helen，why do you never wear glasses when you are with Jim? He takes you to such lovely places in his car，but you can't see anything.”

“Well，mother，” said Helen.“I look prettier to Jim when I'm not wearing my glasses and he looks better to me，too.”

戴眼鏡的好處

海倫的視力不太好，所以他常戴眼鏡。她十九歲時(shí)開(kāi)始和一個(gè)男青年交朋友。當(dāng)和男朋友在一起時(shí)海倫從不戴眼鏡。每當(dāng)男朋友到門(mén)口接她外出的時(shí)候，她就摘下眼鏡；回到家里，男朋友走了以后，海倫才戴上眼鏡。有一天媽媽問(wèn)她：“海倫，你和吉姆在一起時(shí)為什么從不戴眼鏡？他開(kāi)車帶你去優(yōu)美的地方玩兒，可你什么也看不見(jiàn)?！焙愓f(shuō)：“嗯，媽媽，我不戴眼鏡時(shí)吉姆看著我更漂亮些，同時(shí)我也覺(jué)得他顯得更順眼一些?！?A Gentleman 紳士

Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five.One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen.She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, ”Now here's a knife, Dick.Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman.“ ”Like a gentleman?“ Dick asked.”How do gentlemen do it?“ ”They always give the bigger piece to the other person.“ answered his aunt at once.”O(jiān)h“ said Dick.He thought about this for a few seconds.Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,”Cut this cake in half, Catherine.“.迪克年齡七歲，他的妹妹凱瑟琳五歲。一天，媽媽把他們帶到姨媽家去玩，自己就到大城市去買些新的衣服。

孩子們玩了個(gè)把小時(shí)，在四點(diǎn)半的時(shí)候，姨媽領(lǐng)著迪克走進(jìn)了廚房。她交給迪克一塊精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并對(duì)他說(shuō)：“喏，迪克，給你刀子，把這塊蛋糕一切為二，給你妹妹一塊。不過(guò)，你得記住要做得像一個(gè)紳士那樣?！?迪克問(wèn)：“像一個(gè)紳士？紳士怎樣做呢？”

他姨媽馬上回答說(shuō)：“紳士總是把大的一塊讓給別人的?！?迪克說(shuō)了一聲“噢”。他對(duì)此想了一會(huì)，然后，他把蛋糕拿給妹妹，并對(duì)她說(shuō)：“凱瑟琳，你來(lái)把這塊蛋糕一切為二吧。”

Where It Should Be Plugged

A mother is very good at using every chance to educate his son, who was only three years old.One day, she took a plug and said to her son, ” Look, there are two pieces of copper, so it must be plugged in a place where there are two holes.Where do you think it should be plugged?“ She waited for an answer expectfully.”P(pán)lug in nose.“ is the answer.插在何處

一位母親十分善于利用每一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)對(duì)孩子進(jìn)行教育。她的兒子只有三歲。一天，她拿著一個(gè)插頭對(duì)兒子說(shuō)：“看，這里有兩個(gè)銅片，那它一定要插在有兩個(gè)孔的地方。你說(shuō)它應(yīng)該插在哪兒呢？”母親期待著兒子的回答。

“插在鼻子里！”兒子回答說(shuō)。

A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?“ ”I gave it to a poor old woman,“ he answered.”You're a good boy,“ said the mother proudly.”Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?“ ”She is the one who sells the candy一個(gè)好孩子小羅伯特向他媽媽要了兩美分。“你用我昨天給你的錢干什么了？”“我把它給了一個(gè)貧窮的老婦人?！彼卮稹澳闶莻€(gè)好孩子”媽媽驕傲地說(shuō)?！斑@里有兩美分多，但為什么你對(duì)老婦人這么有興趣？”"她是一個(gè)賣糖果的”