第一篇：美國著名脫口秀主持人柯南在達(dá)特茅斯演講

美國著名脫口秀主持人柯南?奧布萊恩為2011年達(dá)特茅斯學(xué)院做了畢業(yè)致辭。前半部分有很多搞笑串場，后半部分柯南跟大家分享了自己的經(jīng)歷和人生經(jīng)驗(yàn)：正是那些既定想法的失敗，才使我們成為獨(dú)一無二的人！以下是演講全文：

I've been living in Los Angeles for two years, and I've never been this cold in my life.I will pay anyone here $300 for GORE-TEX gloves.Anybody.I'm serious.I have the cash.Before I begin, I must point out that behind me sits a highly admired President of the United States and decorated war hero while I, a cable television talk show host, has been chosen to stand here and impart wisdom.I pray I never witness a more damning example of what is wrong with America today.Graduates, faculty, parents, relatives, undergraduates, and old people that just come to these things: Good morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth Class of 2011.Today, you have achieved something special, something only 92 percent of Americans your age will ever know: a college diploma.That’s right, with your college diploma you now have a crushing advantage over 8 percent of the workforce.I'm talking about dropout losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg.Incidentally, speaking of Mr.Zuckerberg, only at Harvard would someone have to invent a massive social network just to talk with someone in the next room.My first job as your commencement speaker is to illustrate that life is not fair.For example, you have worked tirelessly for four years to earn the diploma you’ll be receiving this weekend.That was great.And Dartmouth is giving me the same degree for interviewing the fourth lead in Twilight.Deal with it.Another example that life is not fair: if it does rain, the powerful rich people on stage get the tent.Deal with it.I would like to thank President Kim for inviting me here today.After my phone call with President Kim, I decided to find out a little bit about the man.He goes by President Kim and Dr.Kim.To his friends, he's Jim Kim, J to the K, Special K, JK Rowling, the Just Kidding Kimster, and most puzzling, “Stinky Pete.” He served as the chair of the Department of Global Health and Social Medicine at Harvard Medical School, spearheaded a task force for the World Health Organization on Global Health Initiatives, won a MacArthur Genius Grant, and was one of TIME Magazine's 100 Most Influential People in 2006.Good God, man, what the hell are you compensating for? Seriously.We get it.You're smart.By the way Dr.Kim, you were brought to Dartmouth to lead, and as a world-class anthropologist, you were also hired to figure out why each of these graduating students ran around a bonfire 111 times.But I thank you for inviting me here, Stinky Pete, and it is an honor.Though some of you may see me as a celebrity, you should know that I once sat where you sit.Literally.Late last night I snuck out here and sat in every seat.I did it to prove a point: I am not bright and I have a lot of free time.But this is a wonderful occasion and it is great to be here in New Hampshire, where I am getting an honorary degree and all the legal fireworks I can fit in the trunk of my car.You know, New Hampshire is such a special place.When I arrived I took a deep breath of this crisp New England air and thought, “Wow, I'm in the state that's next to the state where Ben and Jerry's ice cream is made.” But don't get me wrong, I take my task today very seriously.When I got the call two months ago to be your speaker, I decided to prepare with the same intensity many of you have devoted to an important term paper.So late last night, I began.I drank two cans of Red Bull, snorted some Adderall, played a few hours of Call of Duty, and then opened my browser.I think Wikipedia put it best when they said “Dartmouth College is a private Ivy League University in Hanover, New Hampshire, United States.” Thank you and good luck.To communicate with you students today, I have gone to great lengths to become well-versed in your unique linguistic patterns.In fact, just this morning I left Baker Berry with my tripee Barry to eat a Billy Bob at the Bema when my flitz to Francesca was Blitz jacked by some d-bag on his FSP.Yes, I've done my research.This college was named after the Second Earl of Dartmouth, a good friend of the Third Earl of UC Santa Cruz and the Duke of the Barbizon School of Beauty.Your school motto is “Vox clamantis in deserto,” which means “Voice crying out in the wilderness.” This is easily the most pathetic school motto I have ever heard.Apparently, it narrowly beat out “Silently Weeping in Thick Shrub” and “Whimpering in Moist Leaves without Pants.” Your school color is green, and this color was chosen by Frederick Mather in 1867 because, and this is true—I looked it up—“it was the only color that had not been taken already.” I cannot remember hearing anything so sad.Dartmouth, you have an inferiority complex, and you should not.You have graduated more great fictitious Americans than any other college.Meredith Grey of Grey's Anatomy.Pete Campbell from Mad Men.Michael Corleone from The Godfather.In fact, I look forward to next years' Valedictory Address by your esteemed classmate, Count Chocula.Of course, your greatest fictitious graduate is Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner.Man, can you imagine if a real Treasury Secretary made those kinds of decisions? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.Now I know what you're going to say, Dartmouth, you're going to say, well “We've got Dr.Seuss.” Well guess what, we're all tired of hearing about Dr.Seuss.Face it: The man rhymed fafloozle with saznoozle.In the literary community, that's called cheating.Your insecurity is so great, Dartmouth, that you don't even think you deserve a real podium.I'm sorry.What the hell is this thing? It looks like you stole it from the set of Survivor: Nova Scotia.Seriously, it looks like something a bear would use at an AA meeting.No, Dartmouth, you must stand tall.Raise your heads high and feel proud.Because if Harvard, Yale, and Princeton are your self-involved, vain, name-dropping older brothers, you are the cool, sexually confident, lacrosse playing younger sibling who knows how to throw a party and looks good in a down vest.Brown, of course, is your lesbian sister who never leaves her room.And Penn, Columbia, and Cornell—well, frankly, who gives a shit.Yes, I've always had a special bond with this school.In fact, this is my second time coming here.When I was 17 years old and touring colleges, way back in the fall of 1980, I came to Dartmouth.Dartmouth was a very different place back then.I made the trip up from Boston on a mule and, after asking the blacksmith in West Leb for directions, I came to this beautiful campus.No dormitories had been built yet, so I stayed with a family of fur traders in White River Junction.It snowed heavily during my visit and I was trapped here for four months.I was forced to eat the mule, who a week earlier had been forced to eat the fur traders.Still, I loved Dartmouth and I vowed to return.But fate dealt a heavy blow.With no money, I was forced to enroll in a small, local commuter school, a pulsating sore on a muddy elbow of the Charles River.I was a miserable wretch, and to this day I cannot help but wonder: What if I had gone to Dartmouth? If I had gone to Dartmouth, I might have spent at least some of my college years outside and today I might not be allergic to all plant life, as well as most types of rock.If I had gone to Dartmouth, right now I'd be wearing a fleece thong instead of a lace thong.If I had gone to Dartmouth, I still wouldn't know the second verse to “Dear Old Dartmouth.” Face it, none of you do.You all mumble that part.If I had gone to Dartmouth, I'd have a liver the size and consistency of a bean bag chair.Finally, if I had gone to Dartmouth, today I'd be getting an honorary degree at Harvard.Imagine how awesome that would be.You are a great school, and you deserve a historic commencement address.That's right, I want my message today to be forever remembered because it changed the world.To do this, I must suggest groundbreaking policy.Winston Churchill gave his famous “Iron Curtain” speech at Westminster College in 1946.JFK outlined his nuclear disarmament policy at American University in 1963.Today, I would like to set forth my own policy here at Dartmouth: I call it “The Conan Doctrine.” Under “The Conan Doctrine”:

-All bachelor degrees will be upgraded to master's degrees.All master's degrees will be upgraded to PhDs.And all MBA students will be immediately transferred to a white collar prison.-Under “The Conan Doctrine,” Winter Carnival will become Winter Carnivale and be moved to Rio.Clothing will be optional, all expenses paid by the Alumni Association.-Your nickname, the Big Green, will be changed to something more kick-ass like “The Jade Blade,” the “Seafoam Avenger,” or simply “Lime-Zilla.”

-The D-Plan and “quarter system” will finally be updated to “the one sixty-fourth system.” Semesters will last three days.Students will be encouraged to take 48 semesters off.They must, however, be on campus during their Sophomore 4th of July.-Under “The Conan Doctrine,” I will re-instate Tubestock.And I will punish those who tried to replace it with Fieldstock.Rafting and beer are a much better combination than a field and a beer.I happen to know that in two years, they were going to downgrade Fieldstock to Deskstock, seven hours of fun sitting quietly at your desk.Don't let those bastards do it.And finally, under “The Conan Doctrine,” all commencement speakers who shamelessly pander with cheap, inside references designed to get childish applause, will be forced to apologize—to the greatest graduating class in the history of the world.Dartmouth class of 2011 rules!

Besides policy, another hallmark of great commencement speeches is deep, profound advice like “reach for the stars.” Well today, I am not going to waste your time with empty clichés.Instead, I am going to give you real, practical advice that you will need to know if you are going to survive the next few years.-First, adult acne lasts longer than you think.I almost cancelled two days ago because I had a zit on my eye.-Guys, this is important: You cannot iron a shirt while wearing it.-Here's another one.If you live on Ramen Noodles for too long, you lose all feelings in your hands and your stool becomes a white gel.-And finally, wearing colorful Converse high-tops beneath your graduation robe is a great way to tell your classmates that this is just the first of many horrible decisions you plan to make with the rest of your life.Of course there are many parents here and I have real advice for them as well.Parents, you should write this down:

-Many of your children you haven't seen them in four years.Well, now you are about to see them every day when they come out of the basement to tell you the wi-fi isn't working.-If your child majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried.The only place where they are now really qualified to get a job is ancient Greece.Good luck with that degree.-The traffic today on East Wheelock is going to be murder, so once they start handing out diplomas, you should slip out in the middle of the K's.And, I have to tell you this:

-You will spend more money framing your child's diploma than they will earn in the next six months.It's tough out there, so be patient.The only people hiring right now are Panera Bread and Mexican drug cartels.Yes, you parents must be patient because it is indeed a grim job market out there.And one of the reasons it's so tough finding work is that aging baby boomers refuse to leave their jobs.Trust me on this.Even when they promise you for five years that they are going to leave—and say it on television—I mean you can go on YouTube right now and watch the guy do it, there is no guarantee they won't come back.Of course I'm speaking generally.But enough.This is not a time for grim prognostications or negativity.No, I came here today because, believe it or not, I actually do have something real to tell you.Eleven years ago I gave an address to a graduating class at Harvard.I have not spoken at a graduation since because I thought I had nothing left to say.But then 2010 came.And now I'm here, three thousand miles from my home, because I learned a hard but profound lesson last year and I'd like to share it with you.In 2000, I told graduates “Don't be afraid to fail.” Well now I'm here to tell you that, though you should not fear failure, you should do your very best to avoid it.Nietzsche famously said “Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.” But what he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.Disappointment stings and, for driven, successful people like yourselves it is disorienting.What Nietzsche should have said is “Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you watch a lot of Cartoon Network and drink mid-price Chardonnay at 11 in the morning.” Now, by definition, Commencement speakers at an Ivy League college are considered successful.But a little over a year ago, I experienced a profound and very public disappointment.I did not get what I wanted, and I left a system that had nurtured and helped define me for the better part of 17 years.I went from being in the center of the grid to not only off the grid, but underneath the coffee table that the grid sits on, lost in the shag carpeting that is underneath the coffee table supporting the grid.It was the making of a career disaster, and a terrible analogy.But then something spectacular happened.Fogbound, with no compass, and adrift, I started trying things.I grew a strange, cinnamon beard.I dove into the world of social media.I started tweeting my comedy.I threw together a national tour.I played the guitar.I did stand-up, wore a skin-tight blue leather suit, recorded an album, made a documentary, and frightened my friends and family.Ultimately, I abandoned all preconceived perceptions of my career path and stature and took a job on basic cable with a network most famous for showing reruns, along with sitcoms created by a tall, black man who dresses like an old, black woman.I did a lot of silly, unconventional, spontaneous and seemingly irrational things and guess what: with the exception of the blue leather suit, it was the most satisfying and fascinating year of my professional life.To this day I still don't understand exactly what happened, but I have never had more fun, been more challenged—and this is important—had more conviction about what I was doing.How could this be true? Well, it's simple: There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized.I went to college with many people who prided themselves on knowing exactly who they were and exactly where they were going.At Harvard, five different guys in my class told me that they would one day be President of the United States.Four of them were later killed in motel shoot-outs.The other one briefly hosted Blues Clues, before dying senselessly in yet another motel shoot-out.Your path at 22 will not necessarily be your path at 32 or 42.One's dream is constantly evolving, rising and falling, changing course.This happens in every job, but because I have worked in comedy for twenty-five years, I can probably speak best about my own profession.Way back in the 1940s there was a very, very funny man named Jack Benny.He was a giant star, easily one of the greatest comedians of his generation.And a

much younger man named Johnny Carson wanted very much to be Jack Benny.In some ways he was, but in many ways he wasn't.He emulated Jack Benny, but his own quirks and mannerisms, along with a changing medium, pulled him in a different direction.And yet his failure to completely become his hero made him the funniest person of his generation.David Letterman wanted to be Johnny Carson, and was not, and as a result my generation of comedians wanted to be David Letterman.And none of us are.My peers and I have all missed that mark in a thousand different ways.But the point is this : It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique.It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.So, at the age of 47, after 25 years of obsessively pursuing my dream, that dream changed.For decades, in show business, the ultimate goal of every comedian was to host The Tonight Show.It was the Holy Grail, and like many people I thought that achieving that goal would define me as successful.But that is not true.No specific job or career goal defines me, and it should not define you.In 2000—in 2000—I told graduates to not be afraid to fail, and I still believe that.But today I tell you that whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come.The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.Many of you here today are getting your diploma at this Ivy League school because you have committed yourself to a dream and worked hard to achieve it.And there is no greater cliché in a commencement address than “follow your dream.” Well I am here to tell you that whatever you think your dream is now, it will probably change.And that's okay.Four years ago, many of you had a specific vision of what your college experience was going to be and who you were going to become.And I bet, today, most of you would admit that your time here was very different from what you imagined.Your roommates changed, your major changed, for some of you your sexual orientation changed.I bet some of you have changed your sexual orientation since I began this speech.I know I have.But through the good and especially the bad, the person you are now is someone you could never have conjured in the fall of 2007.I have told you many things today, most of it foolish but some of it true.I'd like to end my address by breaking a taboo and quoting myself from 17 months ago.At the end of my final program with NBC, just before signing off, I said “Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.” Today, receiving this honor and speaking to the Dartmouth Class of 2011 from behind a tree-trunk, I have never believed that more.Thank you very much, and congratulations.

第二篇：柯南·奧布萊恩達(dá)特茅斯學(xué)院2011畢業(yè)演講英文全文

I've been living in Los Angeles for two years, and I've never been this cold in my life.I will pay anyone here $300 for GORE-TEX gloves.Anybody.I'm serious.I have the cash.Before I begin, I must point out that behind me sits a highly admired President of the United States and decorated war hero while I, a cable television talk show host, has been chosen to stand here and impart wisdom.I pray I never witness a more damning example of what is wrong with America today.Graduates, faculty, parents, relatives, undergraduates, and old people that just come to these things: Good morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth Class of 2011.Today, you have achieved something special, something only 92 percent of Americans your age will ever know: a college diploma.That’s right, with your college diploma you now have a crushing advantage over 8 percent of the workforce.I'm talking about dropout losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg.Incidentally, speaking of Mr.Zuckerberg, only at Harvard would someone have to invent a massive social network just to talk with someone in the next room.My first job as your commencement speaker is to illustrate that life is not fair.For example, you have worked tirelessly for four years to earn the diploma you’ll be receiving this weekend.That was great.And Dartmouth is giving me the same degree for interviewing the fourth lead in Twilight.Deal with it.Another example that life is not fair: if it does rain, the powerful rich people on stage get the tent.Deal with it.I would like to thank President Kim for inviting me here today.After my phone call with President Kim, I decided to find out a little bit about the man.He goes by President Kim and Dr.Kim.To his friends, he's Jim Kim, J to the K, Special K, JK Rowling, the Just Kidding Kimster, and most puzzling, “Stinky Pete.” He served as the chair of the Department of Global Health and Social Medicine at Harvard Medical School, spearheaded a task force for the World Health Organization on Global Health Initiatives, won a MacArthur Genius Grant, and was one of TIME Magazine's 100 Most Influential People in 2006.Good God, man, what the hell are you compensating for? Seriously.We get it.You're smart.By the way Dr.Kim, you were brought to Dartmouth to lead, and as a world-class anthropologist, you were also hired to figure out why each of these graduating students ran around a bonfire 111 times.But I thank you for inviting me here, Stinky Pete, and it is an honor.Though some of you may see me as a celebrity, you should know that I once sat where you sit.Literally.Late last night I snuck out here and sat in every seat.I did it to prove a point: I am not bright and I have a lot of free time.But this is a wonderful occasion and it is great to be here in New Hampshire, where I am getting an honorary degree and all the legal fireworks I can fit in the trunk of my car.You know, New Hampshire is such a special place.When I arrived I took a deep breath of this crisp New England air and thought, “Wow, I'm in the state that's next to the state where Ben and Jerry's ice cream is made.”

But don't get me wrong, I take my task today very seriously.When I got the call two months ago to be your speaker, I decided to prepare with the same intensity many of you have devoted to an important term paper.So late last night, I began.I drank two cans of Red Bull, snorted some Adderall, played a few hours of Call of Duty, and then opened my browser.I think Wikipedia put it best when they said “Dartmouth College is a private Ivy League University in Hanover, New Hampshire, United States.” Thank you and good luck.To communicate with you students today, I have gone to great lengths to become well-versed in your unique linguistic patterns.In fact, just this morning I left Baker Berry with my tripee Barry to eat a Billy Bob at the Bema when my flitz to Francesca was Blitz jacked by some d-bag on his FSP.Yes, I've done my research.This college was named after the Second Earl of Dartmouth, a good friend of the Third Earl of UC Santa Cruz and the Duke of the Barbizon School of Beauty.Your school motto is “Vox clamantis in deserto,” which means “Voice crying out in the wilderness.” This is easily the most pathetic school motto I have ever heard.Apparently, it narrowly beat out “Silently Weeping in Thick Shrub” and “Whimpering in Moist Leaves without Pants.” Your school color is green, and this color was chosen by Frederick Mather in 1867 because, and this is true—I looked it up—“it was the only color that had not been taken already.” I cannot remember hearing anything so sad.Dartmouth, you have an inferiority complex, and you should not.You have graduated more great fictitious Americans than any other college.Meredith Grey of Grey's Anatomy.Pete Campbell from Mad Men.Michael Corleone from The Godfather.In fact, I look forward to next years' Valedictory Address by your esteemed classmate, Count Chocula.Of course, your greatest fictitious graduate is Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner.Man, can you imagine if a real Treasury Secretary made those kinds of decisions? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.Now I know what you're going to say, Dartmouth, you're going to say, well “We've got Dr.Seuss.” Well guess what, we're all tired of hearing about Dr.Seuss.Face it: The man rhymed fafloozle with saznoozle.In the literary community, that's called cheating.Your insecurity is so great, Dartmouth, that you don't even think you deserve a real podium.I'm sorry.What the hell is this thing? It looks like you stole it from the set of Survivor: Nova Scotia.Seriously, it looks like something a bear would use at an AA meeting.No, Dartmouth, you must stand tall.Raise your heads high and feel proud.Because if Harvard, Yale, and Princeton are your self-involved, vain, name-dropping older brothers, you are the cool, sexually confident, lacrosse playing younger sibling who knows how to throw a party and looks good in a down vest.Brown, of course, is your lesbian sister who never leaves her room.And Penn, Columbia, and Cornell—well, frankly, who gives a shit.Yes, I've always had a special bond with this school.In fact, this is my second time coming here.When I was 17 years old and touring colleges, way back in the fall of 1980, I came to Dartmouth.Dartmouth was a very different place back then.I made the trip up from Boston on a mule and, after asking the blacksmith in West Leb for directions, I came to this beautiful campus.No dormitories had been built yet, so I stayed with a family of fur traders in White River Junction.It snowed heavily during my visit and I was trapped here for four months.I was forced to eat the mule, who a week earlier had been forced to eat the fur traders.Still, I loved Dartmouth and I vowed to return.But fate dealt a heavy blow.With no money, I was forced to enroll in a small, local commuter school, a pulsating sore on a muddy elbow of the Charles River.I was a miserable wretch, and to this day I cannot help but wonder: What if I had gone to Dartmouth?

If I had gone to Dartmouth, I might have spent at least some of my college years outside and today I might not be allergic to all plant life, as well as most types of rock.If I had gone to Dartmouth, right now I'd be wearing a fleece thong instead of a lace thong.If I had gone to Dartmouth, I still wouldn't know the second verse to “Dear Old Dartmouth.” Face it, none of you do.You all mumble that part.If I had gone to Dartmouth, I'd have a liver the size and consistency of a bean bag chair.Finally, if I had gone to Dartmouth, today I'd be getting an honorary degree at Harvard.Imagine how awesome that would be.You are a great school, and you deserve a historic commencement address.That's right, I want my message today to be forever remembered because it changed the world.To do this, I must suggest groundbreaking policy.Winston Churchill gave his famous “Iron Curtain” speech at Westminster College in 1946.JFK outlined his nuclear disarmament policy at American University in 1963.Today, I would like to set forth my own policy here at Dartmouth: I call it “The Conan Doctrine.” Under “The Conan Doctrine”:

-All bachelor degrees will be upgraded to master's degrees.All master's degrees will be upgraded to PhDs.And all MBA students will be immediately transferred to a white collar prison.-Under “The Conan Doctrine,” Winter Carnival will become Winter Carnivale and be moved to Rio.Clothing will be optional, all expenses paid by the Alumni Association.-Your nickname, the Big Green, will be changed to something more kick-ass like “The Jade Blade,” the “Seafoam Avenger,” or simply “Lime-Zilla.”

-The D-Plan and “quarter system” will finally be updated to “the one sixty-fourth system.” Semesters will last three days.Students will be encouraged to take 48 semesters off.They must, however, be on campus during their Sophomore 4th of July.-Under “The Conan Doctrine,” I will re-instate Tubestock.And I will punish those who tried to replace it with Fieldstock.Rafting and beer are a much better combination than a field and a beer.I happen to know that in two years, they were going to downgrade Fieldstock to Deskstock, seven hours of fun sitting quietly at your desk.Don't let those bastards do it.And finally, under “The Conan Doctrine,” all commencement speakers who shamelessly pander with cheap, inside references designed to get childish applause, will be forced to apologize—to the greatest graduating class in the history of the world.Dartmouth class of 2011 rules!

Besides policy, another hallmark of great commencement speeches is deep, profound advice like “reach for the stars.” Well today, I am not going to waste your time with empty clichés.Instead, I am going to give you real, practical advice that you will need to know if you are going to survive the next few years.-First, adult acne lasts longer than you think.I almost cancelled two days ago because I had a zit on my eye.-Guys, this is important: You cannot iron a shirt while wearing it.-Here's another one.If you live on Ramen Noodles for too long, you lose all feelings in your hands and your stool becomes a white gel.-And finally, wearing colorful Converse high-tops beneath your graduation robe is a great way to tell your classmates that this is just the first of many horrible decisions you plan to make with the rest of your life.Of course there are many parents here and I have real advice for them as well.Parents, you should write this down:

-Many of your children you haven't seen them in four years.Well, now you are about to see them every day when they come out of the basement to tell you the wi-fi isn't working.-If your child majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried.The only place where they are now really qualified to get a job is ancient Greece.Good luck with that degree.-The traffic today on East Wheelock is going to be murder, so once they start handing out diplomas, you should slip out in the middle of the K's.And, I have to tell you this:

-You will spend more money framing your child's diploma than they will earn in the next six months.It's tough out there, so be patient.The only people hiring right now are Panera Bread and Mexican drug cartels.Yes, you parents must be patient because it is indeed a grim job market out there.And one of the reasons it's so tough finding work is that aging baby boomers refuse to leave their jobs.Trust me on this.Even when they promise you for five years that they are going to leave—and say it on television—I mean you can go on YouTube right now and watch the guy do it, there is no guarantee they won't come back.Of course I'm speaking generally.But enough.This is not a time for grim prognostications or negativity.No, I came here today because, believe it or not, I actually do have something real to tell you.Eleven years ago I gave an address to a graduating class at Harvard.I have not spoken at a graduation since because I thought I had nothing left to say.But then 2010 came.And now I'm here, three thousand miles from my home, because I learned a hard but profound lesson last year and I'd like to share it with you.In 2000, I told graduates “Don't be afraid to fail.” Well now I'm here to tell you that, though you should not fear failure, you should do your very best to avoid it.Nietzsche famously said “Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.” But what he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.Disappointment stings and, for driven, successful people like yourselves it is disorienting.What Nietzsche should have said is “Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you watch a lot of Cartoon Network and drink mid-price Chardonnay at 11 in the morning.”

Now, by definition, Commencement speakers at an Ivy League college are considered successful.But a little over a year ago, I experienced a profound and very public disappointment.I did not get what I wanted, and I left a system that had nurtured and helped define me for the better part of 17 years.I went from being in the center of the grid to not only off the grid, but underneath the coffee table that the grid sits on, lost in the shag carpeting that is underneath the coffee table supporting the grid.It was the making of a career disaster, and a terrible analogy.But then something spectacular happened.Fogbound, with no compass, and adrift, I started trying things.I grew a strange, cinnamon beard.I dove into the world of social media.I started tweeting my comedy.I threw together a national tour.I played the guitar.I did stand-up, wore a skin-tight blue leather suit, recorded an album, made a documentary, and frightened my friends and family.Ultimately, I abandoned all preconceived perceptions of my career path and stature and took a job on basic cable with a network most famous for showing reruns, along with sitcoms created by a tall, black man who dresses like an old, black woman.I did a lot of silly, unconventional, spontaneous and seemingly irrational things and guess what: with the exception of the blue leather suit, it was the most satisfying and fascinating year of my professional life.To this day I still don't understand exactly what happened, but I have never had more fun, been more challenged—and this is important—had more conviction about what I was doing.How could this be true? Well, it's simple: There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized.I went to college with many people who prided themselves on knowing exactly who they were and exactly where they were going.At Harvard, five different guys in my class told me that they would one day be President of the United States.Four of them were later killed in motel shoot-outs.The other one briefly hosted Blues Clues, before dying senselessly in yet another motel shoot-out.Your path at 22 will not necessarily be your path at 32 or 42.One's dream is constantly evolving, rising and falling, changing course.This happens in every job, but because I have worked in comedy for twenty-five years, I can probably speak best about my own profession.Way back in the 1940s there was a very, very funny man named Jack Benny.He was a giant star, easily one of the greatest comedians of his generation.And a much younger man named Johnny Carson wanted very much to be Jack Benny.In some ways he was, but in many ways he wasn't.He emulated Jack Benny, but his own quirks and mannerisms, along with a changing medium, pulled him in a different direction.And yet his failure to completely become his hero made him the funniest person of his generation.David Letterman wanted to be Johnny Carson, and was not, and as a result my generation of comedians wanted to be David Letterman.And none of us are.My peers and I have all missed that mark in a thousand different ways.But the point is this : It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique.It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.So, at the age of 47, after 25 years of obsessively pursuing my dream, that dream changed.For decades, in show business, the ultimate goal of every comedian was to host The Tonight Show.It was the Holy Grail, and like many people I thought that achieving that goal would define me as successful.But that is not true.No specific job or career goal defines me, and it should not define you.In 2000—in 2000—I told graduates to not be afraid to fail, and I still believe that.But today I tell you that whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come.The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.Many of you here today are getting your diploma at this Ivy League school because you have committed yourself to a dream and worked hard to achieve it.And there is no greater cliché in a commencement address than “follow your dream.” Well I am here to tell you that whatever you think your dream is now, it will probably change.And that's okay.Four years ago, many of you had a specific vision of what your college experience was going to be and who you were going to become.And I bet, today, most of you would admit that your time here was very different from what you imagined.Your roommates changed, your major changed, for some of you your sexual orientation changed.I bet some of you have changed your sexual orientation since I began this speech.I know I have.But through the good and especially the bad, the person you are now is someone you could never have conjured in the fall of 2007.I have told you many things today, most of it foolish but some of it true.I'd like to end my address by breaking a taboo and quoting myself from 17 months ago.At the end of my final program with NBC, just before signing off, I said “Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.” Today, receiving this honor and speaking to the Dartmouth Class of 2011 from behind a tree-trunk, I have never believed that more.Thank you very much, and congratulations.

第三篇：美國著名脫口秀主持人艾倫杜蘭大學(xué)畢業(yè)演講

Thank you.President Cowan.Mrs.President Cowen.distinguished guests, undistinguished guests.You know who you are, honored faculty and creepy Spanish teacher.And thank you to all the graduating class of 2009, I realize most of you are hangover and have splitting headaches and haven?t slept since Fat Tuesday, but you can?t graduate ?til I finish, so listen up.When I was asked to make the commencement speech, I immediately said yes.Then I went to look up what commencement meant.Which would have been easy if I had a dictionary, but most of the books in our house are Portia?s, and they?re all written in Australian.So I had to break the word down myself to find out the meaning.Commencement.Common, and cement.Common cement.You commonly see cement on sidewalks.Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, you break your mother?s back.So there?s that.But I?m honored that you?ve asked me here to speak at your common cement.I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus –alumint –alumini – aluminum – alumis – you had to graduate from this school.And I didn?t go to college here, and I don?t know if President Cowen knows, I didn?t go to any college at all.Any college.And I?m not saying you wasted your time, or money, but look at me, I?m a huge celebrity.Although I did graduate from the school of hard knocks, our mascot was the knockers.I spent a lot of time here growing up.My mom works at(?)and I would go there every time I needed to steel something out of her purse.But why am I here today? Clearly not to steel, you?re too far away and I?d never get away with it.I?m here because of you.Because I can?t think of a more tenacious, more courageous graduating class.I mean, look at you all, wearing your robes.Usually when you?re wearing a robe at 10 in the morning, it means you?ve given up.I?m here because I love New Orleans.I was born and raised here, I spent my formative years here, and I like you, while I was living here, I only did laundry six times.When I finished school, I was completely lost.And by school, I mean middle school, but I went ahead and finished high school anyway.And I – I really, I had no ambition;I didn?t know what I wanted to do.I did everything from I shucked oysters, I was a hostess, I was a bartender, I was a waitress, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners, I had no idea.And I thought I?d just finally settle in some job, and I would make enough money to pay my rent, maybe have basic cable, maybe not, I didn?t really have a plan.My point is that, by the time I was your age, I really thought I know who I was, but I had no idea.Like for example, when I was your age, I was dating men.So what I?m saying is, when you?re older, most of you will be gay.Anyone writing this stuff down? Parents? Anyway, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and the way I ended up on this path was from a very tragic event.I was maybe 19, and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident.And I passed the accident, and I didn?t know it was her and I kept going, and I found out shortly after that, it was her.And I was living in a basement apartment, I had no money, I had no heat, no air, I had a mattress on the floor and the apartment was infested with fleas.And I was soul-searching, I was like, why is she suddenly gone, and there are fleas here? I don?t understand, there must be a purpose, and wouldn?t it be so convenient if we could pick up the phone and call God, and ask these questions.And I started writing and what poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with God, which was one-sided, and I finished writing it and I looked at it and I said to myself, and I hadn?t even been doing stand-up, ever, there was no club in town.I said, I?m gonna do this on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.At the time he was the king “and I?m gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down.” And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote.And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard, because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay.And I thought if people found out they wouldn?t like me, they wouldn?t laugh at me.Then my career turned into I got my own sitcom, and that was very successful, another level of success.And I thought, what if they find out I?m gay, then they?ll never watch, and this was a long time ago, this was when we just had white presidents this was back, many years ago and I finally decided that I was living with so much shame, and so much fear, that I just couldn?t live that anymore, and I decided to come out and make it creative.And my character would come out at the same time, and it wasn?t to make a political statement, it wasn?t to do anything other than to free myself up from this heaviness that I was carrying around, and I just wanted to be honest, And I thought, “What?s the worst that could happen? I can lose my career”.I did.I lost my career.The show was cancelled after six years, without even telling me, I read it in the paper.The phone didn?t ring for three years.I had no offers.Nobody wanted to touch me at all.Yet, I was getting letters from kids that almost committed suicide, but didn?t, because of what I did.And I realized that I had a purpose.And it wasn?t just about me and it wasn?t about celebrity, but I felt I was being punished…it was a bad time, I was angry, I was sad, and then I was offered a talk show.And the people that offered me the talkshow tried to sell it.And most stations didn?t want to pick it up.Most people didn?t want to buy it because they thought nobody would watch me.Really when I look back on it, I wouldn?t change a thing.I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing is, is to be true to yourself.Ultimately, that?s what?s gotten me to this place.I don?t live in fear, I?m free, I have no secret, and I know I?ll always be ok, because no matter what, I know who I am.So in conclusion, when I was younger I thought success was something different.I thought when I grow up, I want to be famous.I want to be a star.I want to be in movies.When I grow up I want to see the world, drive nice cars, I want to have groupies.To quote the Pussycat Dolls.How many people thought it was “boobies”, by the way? It?s not, it?s “groupies”.But my idea of success is different today.As you grow, you?ll realize the definition of success change.For many of you, today, success is being able to hold down 20shots of tequila.For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity, and not to give into peer pressure, to try to be something that you?re not, To live your life as an honest and compassionate person.To contribute in some way.So to conclude my conclusion: follow your passion, stay true to yourself.Never follow anyone?s path, unless you?re in the woods and you?re lost and you see a path, and by all means you should follow that.Don?t give advice, it will come back and bite you in the ass.Don?t take anyone?s advice.So my advice to you is to be true to yourself, and everything will be fine.And I know that a lot of you are concerned about your future, but there?s no need to worry.The economy is booming, the job market is wide open, the planet is just fine.It?s gonna be great.You?ve already survived a hurricane.What else can happen to you? And as I mentioned before, some of the most devastating thing that happen to you will teach you the most.And now you know the right questions to ask in your first job interview.Like, “Is it above sea level?”.So to conclude my conclusion that I?ve previously concluded, in the common cement speech, I guess what I?m trying to say is life is like one big Mardi Gras.But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you?ll have more beads than you know what to do with.And you?ll be drunk, most of the time.So the Katrina class of 2009, I say congratulations and if you don?t remember a thing I said today, remember this: you?re gonna be ok, dum de dum dum dum, just dance.

第四篇：《實(shí)習(xí)醫(yī)生格蕾》編劇萊梅斯在達(dá)特茅斯學(xué)院畢業(yè)典禮上的演講(視頻+文本)

President Hanlon, faculty, staff, honored guests, parents, students, families and friends—good morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth graduating class of 2014!So.This is weird.Me giving a speech.In general, I do not like giving speeches.Giving a speech requires standing in front of large groups of people while they look at you and it also requires talking.I can do the standing part OK.But the you looking and the me talking...I am not a fan.I get this overwhelming feeling of fear.Terror, really.Dry mouth, heart beats superfast, everything gets a little bit slow motion.Like I might pass out.Or die.Or poop my pants or something.I mean, don’t worry.I’m not going to pass out or die or poop my pants.Mainly because just by telling you that it could happen, I have somehow neutralized it as an option.Like as if saying it out loud casts some kind of spell where now it cannot possibly happen now.Vomit.I could vomit.See.Vomiting is now also off the table.Neutralized it.We’re good.Anyway, the point is.I do not like to give speeches.I’m a writer.I’m a TV writer.I like to write stuff for other people to say.I actually contemplated bringing Ellen Pompeo or Kerry Washington here to say my speech for me...but my lawyer pointed out that when you drag someone across state lines against their will, the FBI comes looking for you, so...I don’t like giving speeches, in general, because of the fear and terror.But this speech? This speech, I really did not want to give.A Dartmouth Commencement speech? Dry mouth.Heart beats so, so fast.Everything in slow motion.Pass out, die, poop.Look, it would be fine if this were, 20 years ago.If it were back in the day when I graduated from Dartmouth.Twenty-three years ago, I was sitting right where you are now.And I was listening to Elizabeth Dole speak.And she was great.She was calm and she was confident.It was just...different.It felt like she was just talking to a group of people.Like a fireside chat with friends.Just Liddy Dole and like 9,000 of her closest friends.Because it was 20 years ago.And she was just talking to a group of people.Now? Twenty years later? This is no fireside chat.It’s not just you and me.This speech is filmed and streamed and tweeted and uploaded.NPR has like, a whole site dedicated to Commencement speeches.A whole site just about commencement speeches.There are sites that rate them and mock them and dissect them.It’s weird.And stressful.And kind of vicious if you’re an introvert perfectionist writer who hates speaking in public in the first place.When President Hanlon called me—and by the way, I would like to thank President Hanlon for asking me way back in January, thus giving me a full six months of terror and panic to enjoy.When President Hanlon called me, I almost said no.Almost.Dry mouth.Heart beats so, so fast.Everything in slow motion.Pass out, die, poop.But I’m here.I am gonna do it.I’m doing it.You know why?

Because I like a challenge.And because this year I made myself a promise that I was going to do the stuff that terrifies me.And because, 20-plus years ago when I was trudging uphill from the River Cluster through all that snow to get to the Hop for play rehearsal, I never imagined that I would one day be standing here, at the Old Pine lectern.Staring out at all of you.About to throw down on some wisdom in the Dartmouth Commencement address.So, you know, yeah.Moments.Also, I’m here because I really, really wanted some EBAs.OK.I want to say right now that every single time someone asked me what I was going to talk about in this speech, I would boldly and confidently tell them that I had all kinds wisdom to share.I was lying.I feel wildly unqualified to give you advice.There is no wisdom here.So all I can do is talk about some stuff that could maybe be useful to you, from one Dartmouth grad to another.Some stuff that won’t ever show up in a Meredith Grey voiceover or a Papa Pope monologue.Some stuff I probably shouldn’t be telling you here now because of the uploading and the streaming and the tweeting.But I am going to pretend that it is 20 years ago.That it’s just you and me.That we’re having a fireside chat.Screw the outside world and what they think.I’ve already said “poop” like five times already anyway...things are getting real up in here.OK, wait.Before I talk to you.I want to talk to your parents.Because the other thing about it being 20 years later is that I’m a mother now.So I know some things, some very different things.I have three girls.I’ve been to the show.You don’t know what that means, but your parents do.You think this day is all about you.But your parents...the people who raised you...the people who endured you...they potty trained you, they taught you to read, they survived you as a teenager, they have suffered 21 years and not once did they kill you.This day...you call it your graduation day.But this day is not about you.This is their day.This is the day they take back their lives, this is the day they earn their freedom.This day is their Independence Day.So, parents, I salute you.And as I have an eight-month-old, I hope to join your ranks of freedom in 20 years!

OK.So here comes the real deal part of the speech, or you might call it, Some Random Stuff Some Random Alum Who Runs a TV Show Thinks I Should Know Before I Graduate:

You ready?

When people give these kinds of speeches, they usually tell you all kinds of wise and heartfelt things.They have wisdom to impart.They have lessons to share.They tell you: Follow your dreams.Listen to your spirit.Change the world.Make your mark.Find your inner voice and make it sing.Embrace failure.Dream.Dream and dream big.As a matter of fact, dream and don’t stop dreaming until all of your dreams come true.I think that’s crap.I think a lot of people dream.And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people, the really interesting, engaged, powerful people, are busy doing.The dreamers.They stare at the sky and they make plans and they hope and they talk about it endlessly.And they start a lot of sentences with “I want to be...” or “I wish.”

“I want to be a writer.” “I wish I could travel around the world.”

And they dream of it.The buttoned-up ones meet for cocktails and they brag about their dreams, and the hippie ones have vision boards and they meditate about their dreams.Maybe you write in journals about your dreams or discuss it endlessly with your best friend or your girlfriend or your mother.And it feels really good.You’re talking about it, and you’re planning it.Kind of.You are blue-skying your life.And that is what everyone says you should be doing.Right? I mean, that’s what Oprah and Bill Gates did to get successful, right?

No.Dreams are lovely.But they are just dreams.Fleeting, ephemeral, pretty.But dreams do not come true just because you dream them.It’s hard work that makes things happen.It’s hard work that creates change.So, Lesson One, I guess is: Ditch the dream and be a doer, not a dreamer.Maybe you know exactly what it is you dream of being, or maybe you’re paralyzed because you have no idea what your passion is.The truth is, it doesn’t matter.You don’t have to know.You just have to keep moving forward.You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to trying something new.It doesn’t have to fit your vision of the perfect job or the perfect life.Perfect is boring and dreams are not real.Just...do.So you think, “I wish I could travel.” Great.Sell your crappy car, buy a ticket to Bangkok, and go.Right now.I’m serious.You want to be a writer? A writer is someone who writes every day, so start writing.You don’t have a job? Get one.Any job.Don’t sit at home waiting for the magical opportunity.Who are you? Prince William? No.Get a job.Go to work.Do something until you can do something else.I did not dream of being a TV writer.Never, not once when I was here in the hallowed halls of the Ivy League, did I say to myself, “Self, I want to write TV.”

You know what I wanted to be? I wanted to be Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison.That was my dream.I blue sky’ed it like crazy.I dreamed and dreamed.And while I was dreaming, I was living in my sister’s basement.Dreamers often end up living in the basements of relatives, FYI.Anyway, there I was in that basement, and I was dreaming of being Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison.And guess what? I couldn’t be Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison, because Toni Morrison already had that job and she wasn’t interested in giving it up.So one day I was sitting in that basement and I read an article that said—it was in The New York Times—and it said it was harder to get into USC Film School than it was to get into Harvard Law School.And I thought I could dream about being Toni Morrison, or I could do.At film school, I discovered an entirely new way of telling stories.A way that suited me.A way that brought me joy.A way that flipped this switch in my brain and changed the way I saw the world.Years later, I had dinner with Toni Morrison.All she wanted to talk about was Grey’s Anatomy.That never would have happened if I hadn’t stopped dreaming of becoming her and gotten busy becoming myself.Lesson Two.Lesson two is that tomorrow is going to be the worst day ever for you.When I graduated from Dartmouth that day in 1991, when I was sitting right where you are and I was staring up at Elizabeth Dole speaking, I will admit that I have no idea what she was saying.Couldn’t even listen to her.Not because I was overwhelmed or emotional or any of that.But because I had a serious hangover.Like, an epic painful hangover because(and here is where I apologize to President Hanlon because I know that you are trying to build a better and more responsible Dartmouth and I applaud you and I admire you and it is very necessary)but I was really freaking drunk the night before.And the reason I’d been so drunk the night before, the reason I’d done upside down margarita shots at Bones Gate was because I knew that after graduation, I was going to take off my cap and gown, my parents were going to pack my stuff in the car and I was going to go home and probably never come back to Hanover again.And even if I did come back, it wouldn’t matter because it wouldn’t be the same because I didn’t live here anymore.On my graduation day, I was grieving.My friends were celebrating.They were partying.They were excited.So happy.No more school, no more books, no more teachers’ dirty looks.And I was like, are you freaking kidding me? You get all the fro-yo you want here!The gym is free.The apartments in Manhattan are smaller than my suite in North Mass.Who cared if there was no place to get my hair done? All my friends are here.I have a theatre company here.I was grieving.I knew enough about how the world works, enough about how adulthood plays out, to be grieving.Here’s where I am going to embarrass myself and make you all feel maybe a little bit better about yourselves.I literally lay down on the floor of my dorm room and cried while my mother packed up my room.I refused to help her.Like, hell no I won’t go.I nonviolent-protested leaving here.Like, went limp like a protestor, only without the chanting—it was really pathetic.If none of you lie down on a dirty hardwood floor and cry today while your mommy packs up your dorm room, you are already starting your careers out ahead of me.You are winning.But here’s the thing.The thing I really felt like I knew was that the real world sucks.And it is scary.College is awesome.You’re special here.You’re in the Ivy League, you are at the pinnacle of your life’s goals at this point—your entire life up until now has been about getting into some great college and then graduating from that college.And now, today, you have done it.The moment you get out of college, you think you are going to take the world by storm.All doors will be opened to you.It’s going to be laughter and diamonds and soirees left and right.What really happens is that, to the rest of the world, you are now at the bottom of the heap.Maybe you’re an intern, possibly a low-paid assistant.And it is awful.The real world, it sucked so badly for me.I felt like a loser all of the time.And more than a loser? I felt lost.Which brings me to clarify lesson number two.Tomorrow is going to be the worst day ever for you.But don’t be an asshole.Here’s the thing.Yes, it is hard out there.But hard is relative.I come from a middle-class family, my parents are academics, I was born after the civil rights movement, I was a toddler during the women’s movement, I live in the United States of America, all of which means I’m allowed to own my freedom, my rights, my voice, and my uterus;and I went to Dartmouth and I earned an Ivy League degree.The lint in my navel that accumulated while I gazed at it as I suffered from feeling lost about how hard it was to not feel special after graduation...that navel lint was embarrassed for me.Elsewhere in the world, girls are harmed simply because they want to get an education.Slavery still exists.Children still die from malnutrition.In this country, we lose more people to handgun violence than any other nation in the world.Sexual assault against women in America is pervasive and disturbing and continues at an alarming rate.So yes, tomorrow may suck for you—as it did for me.But as you stare at the lint in your navel, have some perspective.We are incredibly lucky.We have been given a gift.An incredible education has been placed before us.We ate all the fro-yo we could get our hands on.We skied.We had EBAs at 1 a.m.We built bonfires and got frostbite and had all the free treadmills.We beer-ponged our asses off.Now it’s time to pay it forward.Find a cause you love.It’s OK to pick just one.You are going to need to spend a lot of time out in the real world trying to figure out how to stop feeling like a lost loser, so one cause is good.Devote some time every week to it.Oh.And while we are discussing this, let me say a thing.A hashtag is not helping.#yesallwomen#takebackthenight#notallmen#bringbackourgirls #StopPretendingHashtagsAreTheSameAsDoingSomething

Hashtags are very pretty on Twitter.I love them.I will hashtag myself into next week.But a hashtag is not a movement.A hashtag does not make you Dr.King.A hashtag does not change anything.It’s a hashtag.It’s you, sitting on your butt, typing on your computer and then going back to binge-watching your favorite show.I do it all the time.For me, it’s Game of Thrones.Volunteer some hours.Focus on something outside yourself.Devote a slice of your energies towards making the world suck less every week.Some people suggest doing this will increase your sense of well-being.Some say it’s good karma.I say that it will allow you to remember that, whether you are a legacy or the first in your family to go to college, the air you are breathing right now is rare air.Appreciate it.Don’t be an asshole.Lesson number three.So you’re out there, and you’re giving back and you’re doing, and it’s working.And life is good.You are making it.You’re a success.And it’s exciting and it’s great.At least it is for me.I love my life.I have three TV shows at work and I have three daughters at home.And it’s all amazing, and I am truly happy.And people are constantly asking me, how do you do it?

And usually, they have this sort of admiring and amazed tone.Shonda, how do you do it all?

Like I’m full of magical magic and special wisdom-ness or something.How do you do it all?

And I usually just smile and say like, “I’m really organized.” Or if I’m feeling slightly kindly, I say, “I have a lot of help.”

And those things are true.But they also are not true.And this is the thing that I really want to say.To all of you.Not just to the women out there.Although this will matter to you women a great deal as you enter the work force and try to figure out how to juggle work and family.But it will also matter to the men, who I think increasingly are also trying to figure out how to juggle work and family.And frankly, if you aren’t trying to figure it out, men of Dartmouth, you should be.Fatherhood is being redefined at a lightning-fast rate.You do not want to be a dinosaur.So women and men of Dartmouth: As you try to figure out the impossible task of juggling work and family and you hear over and over and over again that you just need a lot of help or you just need to be organized or you just need to try just a little bit harder...as a very successful woman, a single mother of three, who constantly gets asked the question “How do you do it all?” For once I am going to answer that question with 100 percent honesty here for you now.Because it’s just us.Because it’s our fireside chat.Because somebody has to tell you the truth.Shonda, how do you do it all?

The answer is this: I don’t.Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means I am failing in another area of my life.If I am killing it on a Scandal script for work, I am probably missing bath and story time at home.If I am at home sewing my kids’ Halloween costumes, I’m probably blowing off a rewrite I was supposed to turn in.If I am accepting a prestigious award, I am missing my baby’s first swim lesson.If I am at my daughter’s debut in her school musical, I am missing Sandra Oh’s last scene ever being filmed at Grey’s Anatomy.If I am succeeding at one, I am inevitably failing at the other.That is the tradeoff.That is the Faustian bargain one makes with the devil that comes with being a powerful working woman who is also a powerful mother.You never feel a hundred percent OK;you never get your sea legs;you are always a little nauseous.Something is always lost.Something is always missing.And yet.I want my daughters to see me and know me as a woman who works.I want that example set for them.I like how proud they are when they come to my offices and know that they come to Shondaland.There is a land and it is named after their mother.In their world, mothers run companies.In their world, mothers own Thursday nights.In their world, mothers work.And I am a better mother for it.The woman I am because I get to run Shondaland, because I get write all day, because I get to spend my days making things up, that woman is a better person—and a better mother.Because that woman is happy.That woman is fulfilled.That woman is whole.I wouldn’t want them to know the me who didn’t get to do this all day long.I wouldn’t want them to know the me who wasn’t doing.Lesson Number Three is that anyone who tells you they are doing it all perfectly is a liar.OK.I fear I’ve scared you or been a little bit bleak, and that was not my intention.It is my hope that you run out of here, excited, leaning forward, into the wind, ready to take the world by storm.That would be so very fabulous.For you to do what everyone expects of you.For you to just go be exactly the picture of hardcore Dartmouth awesome.My point, I think, is that it is OK if you don’t.My point is that it can be scary to graduate.That you can lie on the hardwood floor of your dorm room and cry while your mom packs up your stuff.That you can have an impossible dream to be Toni Morrison that you have to let go of.That every day you can feel like you might be failing at work or at your home life.That the real world is hard.And yet, you can still wake up every single morning and go, “I have three amazing kids and I have created work I am proud of, and I absolutely love my life and I would not trade it for anyone else’s life ever.”

You can still wake up one day and find yourself living a life you never even imagined dreaming of.My dreams did not come true.But I worked really hard.And I ended up building an empire out of my imagination.So my dreams? Can suck it.You can wake up one day and find that you are interesting and powerful and engaged.You can wake up one day and find that you are a doer.You can be sitting right where you are now.Looking up at me.Probably—hopefully, I pray for you—hung over.And then 20 years from now, you can wake up and find yourself in the Hanover Inn full of fear and terror because you are going to give the Commencement speech.Dry mouth.Heart beats so, so fast.Everything in slow motion.Pass out, die, poop.Which one of you will it be? Which member of the 2014 class is going to find themselves standing up here? Because I checked and it is pretty rare for an alum to speak here.It’s pretty much just me and Robert Frost and Mr.Rogers, which is crazy awesome.Which one of you is going to make it up here? I really hope that it’s one of you.Seriously.When it happens, you’ll know what this feels like.Dry mouth.Heart beats so, so fast.Everything moves in slow motion.Graduates, every single one of you, be proud of your accomplishments.Make good on your diplomas.You are no longer students.You are no longer works in progress.You are now citizens of the real world.You have a responsibility to become a person worthy of joining and contributing to society.Because who you are today...that’s who you are.So be brave.Be amazing.Be worthy.And every single time you get a chance?

Stand up in front of people.Let them see you.Speak.Be heard.Go ahead and have the dry mouth.Let your heart beat so, so fast.Watch everything move in slow motion.So what?

You what?

You pass out, you die, you poop? No.And this is really the only lesson you’ll ever need to know...You take it in.You breathe this rare air.You feel alive.You be yourself.You truly finally always be yourself.Thank you.Good luck.

第五篇：美國霍伯特小學(xué)雷夫艾斯奎斯老師在廣外外校的演講實(shí)錄

美國霍伯特小學(xué)雷夫·艾斯奎斯老師在廣外

外校的演講實(shí)錄

【前言】2013年6月19日夜晚17：00，雷夫·艾斯奎斯（Rafe Esquith）空降廣外外校黃花樓禮堂，聽完他的講座受益匪淺。特根據(jù)美女翻譯的錄音整理了雷夫演講的內(nèi)容，以饗讀者。

我已經(jīng)從教三十年了，但是我在中國的這些天對我來說是很美妙的。但是也不是總是這么美妙。在進(jìn)行演講之前，我想和大家分享一下，我所在的學(xué)校是怎樣的一所學(xué)校。我在一所叫洛杉磯的霍伯特小學(xué)任教，在我們的學(xué)校嗎，沒有一個孩子（第一語言）母語是英語的，雖然他們在這樣一個英語為母語的國度里。他們都是來自很貧困的家庭，他們在學(xué)校能享受到免費(fèi)的早餐和午餐。但是我們學(xué)校很臟亂差。我的第五十六號教室的屋頂就掉下來了。所以當(dāng)下雨的時(shí)候雨水就直接進(jìn)到我的教室里了。我的校長就打電話給行政部門，問他們能不能幫我修一修。他們卻給了我另外一種解決方法：他們給了我一個工具箱。這就是我工作的地方。在我的學(xué)校只有百分之三十二的學(xué)生完成高中學(xué)業(yè)。

在三十年之前，我走進(jìn)了這所學(xué)校開始了我的教學(xué)生涯，在那個時(shí)候其實(shí)我聽到很多老師都在抱怨，他們根本都不喜歡教學(xué)，他們也非常討厭自己的學(xué)生，他們也很討厭當(dāng)時(shí)的校長，他們甚至還討厭彼此。我并不想成為他們中的一員。他們在教師會的時(shí)候就開始分發(fā)教學(xué)大綱。我就在想，為什么我要教這樣一個教學(xué)大綱，因?yàn)槭聦?shí)證明這樣的教學(xué)大綱是讓學(xué)生很失敗的。

所以，我現(xiàn)在想跟大家分享一下，為什么我的教室里的孩子跟別的（教室）孩子不一樣原因。

我想問一下觀眾里面有多少是新老師，請舉起手來示意一下。非常想認(rèn)識大家。同時(shí)，我有一些壞的消息要給這些老師們，但是你們可能已經(jīng)知道了這一點(diǎn)?！虒W(xué)確是一件非常辛苦的、困難的工作，大家即將經(jīng)歷非常痛苦的日子。你們將經(jīng)歷著你們可能認(rèn)為每一件事自己都做得很對，但是卻經(jīng)歷著很不好的結(jié)果。我是一名非常誠實(shí)、坦率的老師，可能我今晚的的講話也會使一些人感到一些不安，但是請不要朝我扔?xùn)|西，因?yàn)槲疫€想安全地回到美國。

我的孩子們確實(shí)全都可以從高中畢業(yè)，甚至大多數(shù)孩子們在高中畢業(yè)之后都能進(jìn)入很好的大學(xué)，而且他們也完成了大學(xué)的學(xué)業(yè)。他們在自己的人生中也有過很多美好的創(chuàng)造。我將要和大家分享的是我是如何開始一年教學(xué)的三個秘訣。

第一件事是：己所不欲勿施于人。“施”是“施教”的“施”。因?yàn)槊繒r(shí)每刻你的學(xué)生們都在看著你們。我希望我的孩子們對人友善，這就意味著我必須先要對人友善，任何的時(shí)候，即使是我在對他們生氣的時(shí)候，即使是我想把這些孩子從窗戶扔出去的時(shí)候。但我依然要很和藹、和善，我從來不在我的課堂上提高我的聲調(diào)。我希望我的孩子們努力地學(xué)習(xí)。在我的課堂是沒有一個孩子是不努力學(xué)習(xí)的。你知道為什么嗎？因?yàn)闆]有一個人比我更加努力工作的。我每天都是第一個到校，最后一個離開學(xué)校的老師。我從來不告誡我的孩子們：你們一定要努力學(xué)習(xí)啊，因?yàn)樗麄冏约耗軌蚩吹轿沂桥ぷ鞯摹Ｄ敲?，現(xiàn)在呢，你們可能對我要說的話感到很生氣、很不安。但是，因?yàn)槲液苷\實(shí)，我還是要說。有些時(shí)候，我對著這樣的一群觀眾說話，我會注意到（臺下）有些老師并不是在注意聽我說話，他們可能在用手機(jī)發(fā)短信，可能在打盹。但是恰恰就是這些老師們在課堂上要求他們的學(xué)生們注意力集中。我覺得你根本就不能這么做，因?yàn)閷W(xué)生們其實(shí)每時(shí)每刻都在看著你們，他們非常地了解你，他們非常聰明?？梢岳斫饩褪牵杭核挥鹗┯谌?。

第二點(diǎn)是我在教學(xué)生涯過了幾年之后才發(fā)現(xiàn)的。很多的學(xué)生在學(xué)校里都很緊張，因?yàn)樗麄兒芎ε吕蠋?，他們也害怕考試分?jǐn)?shù)低，但他們最最重要的是他們害怕被彼此嘲笑，他們非常害怕的是他們又做錯了什么另外的學(xué)生嘲笑他們。我盡我所能把緊張和不安從第五十六號教室驅(qū)除出去。他們?nèi)绻稿e的的話，我根本都不會很在意，當(dāng)我的學(xué)生犯錯誤的時(shí)候，其他的孩子不會嘲笑他。我的孩子們都很勇敢，在之后我將要播放的視頻中你們可以看到。在之后的視頻當(dāng)中，你們可以看到，有的孩子在表演當(dāng)中甚至把自己的衣服都脫光了，在所有全班學(xué)生面前，甚至在他們的家長面前，甚至在他們?nèi)Ｍ瑢W(xué)面前，他們個個都無所畏懼。所以這就是為什么他們總是問我很多問題的原因。因?yàn)樗麄冎?，他們問任何問題我都會回答，任何時(shí)候總是這樣。但是我自己得出的一個最重要的事情（結(jié)論）是接下來我要說的（第三個秘訣）。這一點(diǎn)，在中國我說出來，會是非常危險(xiǎn)的一件事情。大家準(zhǔn)備好聽我說下面的這句話：最重要的是，我對期末這場考試一點(diǎn)兒都不在意。在我看來測試是很重要，我們確實(shí)是要好好的去考試。我的孩子們考試成績都很棒，因?yàn)槲覀儠r(shí)時(shí)刻刻都在準(zhǔn)備。但我會教會我的學(xué)生們的是：這個期末考試并不是他全部的人生。我告訴他們真正的考試實(shí)際上是十年之后他們將要變成一個什么樣的人。我想要在我的課堂上教給他們的是受用一生的技能和技巧。我確實(shí)也是按照學(xué)校的教學(xué)大綱來進(jìn)行教學(xué)的。但是，這僅僅只是一個開始而已。對于學(xué)生來說，還有很多很多需要他們學(xué)習(xí)的東西。來自于全世界各地的人們都來參觀我的教室。他們非常喜歡我的孩子非常聰明，也非常喜歡他們都是很有天賦的孩子，但是他們最喜歡的是我的學(xué)生們都有非常規(guī)范的行為，總是這樣，任何時(shí)候，在48小時(shí)之內(nèi)都是這樣的。

我馬上就要回到加州，在我回到美國第二天的時(shí)候，我將要帶40個孩子去旅行十天，我將帶著他們的行李開車700英里，但是孩子們卻是從洛杉磯飛到目的地。40個學(xué)生，沒有任何一個成年人陪伴他們，而且他們都是十歲的孩子。但是，肯定不會出現(xiàn)任何問題的。這就是我接著要和大家分享的原因所在。因?yàn)槲以谡甑膶W(xué)習(xí)中都教我的孩子們關(guān)于這六個階段的道德意識。剛才，扈主任在介紹我的開場的時(shí)候引用了孔子的話，孔子總是告誡我們要看人的內(nèi)心。人們總是問我，為什么我不喜歡那些穿著校服的孩子們，因?yàn)樾７H僅是這個孩子的外表而已，我更注重的是孩子的內(nèi)心。下面我要和大家分享的是這六個階段。

在開學(xué)的第一天，我會問我的學(xué)生們：為什么你們要在學(xué)校里學(xué)習(xí)？為什么你們坐在我的教室里聽我講課？這個時(shí)候，大多數(shù)孩子還是第一階段的思想意識，因?yàn)樗麄冋J(rèn)為他們?nèi)绻缓煤脤W(xué)習(xí)的話可能會留下麻煩。但是，這并不是我們要學(xué)習(xí)數(shù)學(xué)的原因，也不是我們閱讀文學(xué)作品的原因，我們之所以做這些事情是因?yàn)檫@些對我們有益處，而不是我們怕惹麻煩，我告訴我的孩子們，他們在我的教室里不會惹上任何麻煩。如果我的孩子不做家庭作業(yè)的話，我會都覺得沒什么所謂，因?yàn)檫@是他們的生活，他們的人生，因?yàn)槲乙呀?jīng)有我的大學(xué)畢業(yè)文憑了。你們就只管喜歡自己干什么就干什么。

那么接下來就是第二階段。通常孩子們做一件事情的時(shí)候是為了得到獎勵，也許我們想得到一張榮譽(yù)證書，一座獎杯，也許是墻上星星榜上的金星??我告訴孩子這是非?？尚Φ南敕ǎ?yàn)樵谖铱磥?，閱讀一本好書本身就是一種獎勵，你根本不需要為此去追求一張證書。每一年我的學(xué)生都要排練一部莎士比亞的戲劇，他們要花費(fèi)一整年的時(shí)間，幾乎差不多5萬個小時(shí)去排演練這場戲劇。來自世界各地的人們在每一年暑假的時(shí)候來觀看他們的表演，在這些所有的艱辛的排練結(jié)束之后，所有的表演結(jié)束之后，我們不會去開心的去慶祝，因?yàn)檫@場演出本身就是一次聚會。他們根本都不需要因此而去獲得什么獎勵。

去年的時(shí)候，我們的校長這樣跟我們說，我們學(xué)校就餐的地方非常的臟，到處都是飯漬、菜跡。他告訴學(xué)校的學(xué)生說，如果這個星期五這一星期結(jié)束的時(shí)候，午餐區(qū)非常干凈的話，你們就可以得到一支冰淇淋。我的學(xué)生聽到這話之后，就會互相對彼此說：“第二階段，第二階段?！痹谛瞧谖宓臅r(shí)候，我的學(xué)生的午餐區(qū)是非常干凈的，所以，校長給了他們每人一支冰淇淋。來給學(xué)生獎勵冰淇淋這個本身并沒有什么錯，因?yàn)槲以谖业恼n室里也經(jīng)常給學(xué)生分發(fā)冰淇淋。但并不是說應(yīng)為你把午餐桌保持干凈我才給你冰淇淋。我們之所以要把午餐桌保持干凈，是因?yàn)樗鼘ξ覀兊慕】涤幸妗Ｋ哉埓蠹也灰蔀橛械诙A段思想意識的人。

接下來是第三階段。第三階段的思想意識在中國學(xué)生的思想里非常普遍。學(xué)生在學(xué)校的之所以非常努力的學(xué)習(xí)是為了取悅我們的老師。去年，有一群非常棒的中國學(xué)生來參觀我的教室。他們非?？蓯郏宜麄兊睦蠋熞埠馨?。他們在我們的教室給我們表演了兩首歌曲。但是在表演過程中，他們非常的緊張。他們每唱一句歌詞的時(shí)候，都會望向他們旁邊的老師，像這樣（雷夫模仿學(xué)生看向老師的動作。）在他們演唱結(jié)束后，我走向了這群孩子的身邊。然后我告訴孩子們，大家都很棒，但是你們都不需要這么緊張，你們也就是在演唱而已，你們完全可以犯錯誤。然后還沒等學(xué)生回答。老師就趕緊說：“他們根本都不緊張?！蔽艺f：“我覺得他們還是有那么一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)緊張?！崩蠋熡只卮鹫f：“不，他們一點(diǎn)都不緊張?！蔽覍@位老師說：“謝謝你的回答，為什么不能讓你的孩子直接回答我呢？”他就跟我講：“我們沒時(shí)間了。”但是我卻是這樣告誡我的學(xué)生們的：在你們完成一項(xiàng)美術(shù)作業(yè)的時(shí)候，你們不要舉起來問我：“雷夫老師，你覺得我的這個美術(shù)作業(yè)怎么樣？”為什么你自己不來作為評價(jià)美術(shù)作業(yè)的那個人？因?yàn)檫@是你自己的美術(shù)作業(yè)，我怎么看并不重要，重要的是你自己怎么看。

在美國，我也經(jīng)?？吹筋愃频那闆r發(fā)生。一位老師帶著一群孩子去參觀博物館，他會告誡學(xué)生說：“不要到處亂跑。如果你到處亂跑的話，我會很難堪的。你們會讓我在別人面前很難堪的，很尷尬?！蔽覅s告訴我的學(xué)生說：“你可以到處亂跑?！蔽覍λ麄冋f：“如果你們到處亂跑的話，難堪的那個人不是我，而是你們自己。你自己很尷尬，我還是沒有什么，我還是我。”所以，我的孩子們應(yīng)該不是為了取悅老師而學(xué)習(xí)，因?yàn)檫@是孩子們自己的教育。

接下來是第四階段：我們之所以這么做，是規(guī)則告訴我們這么做。我們可能會在墻上寫下這些規(guī)則的標(biāo)語。但是我會告訴我的的學(xué)生：當(dāng)我去醫(yī)院的時(shí)候我會保持安靜。我不需要醫(yī)院的墻上寫著：“請保持安靜”這樣的標(biāo)語，因?yàn)槲胰サ氖轻t(yī)院。我們并沒有必要去寫一些規(guī)則貼在墻上。如果大家能把自己的學(xué)生培養(yǎng)成待會兒我要說的第五個階段的的話，大家就是非常成功的老師了。

第五個階段的想法是，我之所以這樣做事情，是因?yàn)槲覟閯e人著想。我的孩子不會告訴大家，我們在賓館的房間里都很安靜。他們之所以在賓館的房間里保持安靜，并不是怕惹上麻煩，也不是為了得到獎勵而保持安靜，他們也不是為了取悅我，在賓館的房間里也不會有這樣的規(guī)則寫著：請保持安靜。這就是第五階段。（這時(shí)，會場上有一個小男孩在會場的走道上跑來跑去）我們需要教會這個小男孩怎樣為別人著想，他也沒有注意到其他的觀眾正在聽我講話。我的孩子們懂得這些。

我三天前曾經(jīng)參觀過一所學(xué)校。一所非常棒非常棒的小學(xué)。這些孩子為我進(jìn)行了表演。有一些孩子在全班同學(xué)面前表演了一支舞蹈給我看，他非常的棒，這位表演者。這位男同學(xué)，他表演的是非常瘋狂的一個舞蹈。他盡可能的去表現(xiàn)每一個舞步。但是，在這個舞蹈的過程中間，他突然停下來，使勁把（臺下的）其中一個女同學(xué)給扯上來了。這位女同學(xué)實(shí)際上是一位非常害羞的小女孩?？墒沁@個男孩根本不顧小女孩的情況，把她扯上來對她說：跟我一起跳吧！然后，臺下坐著的孩子們都笑了，這位男生也笑了，所有在場的老師也笑了。但是這個小女孩卻沒有笑，其實(shí)已經(jīng)傷害到了她。我也沒有笑，因?yàn)槲铱吹搅怂难凵?，她將在她一生?dāng)中都記得這一天。在場的老師告訴我，跳舞的這個男孩是這個學(xué)校最聰明的男孩?？赡苁沁@樣的，但他絕對不是我的學(xué)生。因?yàn)樗揪蜎]有為他的同學(xué)去考慮。我先把第六階段放在這里，稍后我們再一起來分享第六階段。為了讓大家更近距離的了解我的教室是怎樣的，我的學(xué)生是怎樣的，我?guī)Я艘恍┮曨l給大家看。我覺得大家在看這個視頻的時(shí)候，更重要的應(yīng)該去思考的是這個孩子他長大之后會是怎樣。因?yàn)槟銈儠吹?，在這個教室里，甚至?xí)行?0多歲的學(xué)生，他們所達(dá)到的成就，我覺得比他們在期末考試中考到到好分?jǐn)?shù)更好。

在我的教學(xué)中，我通常都會不斷地問學(xué)生這樣一個問題，你也可以這樣問你的學(xué)生，我覺得這個非常有效。當(dāng)他們在做一項(xiàng)作業(yè)、一項(xiàng)課題的時(shí)候，你可以問他們：你為什要做這個東西？為什么你要做這道數(shù)學(xué)問題，為什么你們要去讀這篇故事？大家想一下，大多數(shù)孩子會怎么說？大多數(shù)孩子回答我說：因?yàn)槲业睦蠋熃形疫@樣做，我必須要這樣做。我的學(xué)生可能會給大家一個不同的答案。

能不能有一位老師告訴我他教什么學(xué)科？（有人舉手說：英語學(xué)科）

如果大家問我的學(xué)生，他正在寫一篇作文，大家來問這個問題，你問他：為什么要寫這個作文，我的學(xué)生會給你一個非常棒的答案：如果我學(xué)會了寫作的話，我的人生會變得更美好。每一節(jié)課，我都會停下來問我的學(xué)生們，我們從中學(xué)到什么樣的人生技能。讓我來給大家舉一個棒球的例子。

在我們開始練習(xí)棒球之前，我會問我的孩子們：為什么我們要練習(xí)棒球？（如果要練好棒球的話，我們要怎樣做？）有的孩子會回答：如果我們要練好棒球的話，我們必須注意力集中；如果注意力不集中的話是打不到或者是接不到球的。然后我就會繼續(xù)問我的孩子們，在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中，誰必須要注意力集中？他們會回答我說：駕駛的時(shí)候要集中注意力呀，當(dāng)牙醫(yī)的也要集中注意力呀。我會繼續(xù)追問學(xué)生：如果一個牙醫(yī)在給你治療的時(shí)候注意力不夠集中的時(shí)候，你會繼續(xù)讓他給你治嗎？我們今天學(xué)習(xí)的一些技能可能與這些（有關(guān)系）。我的孩子還可能會告訴你，（如果要練好棒球的話，）實(shí)際上棒球是一個團(tuán)隊(duì)的運(yùn)動。你一個人是打不了棒球的。我會繼續(xù)問他們，在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中，哪些情況也是需要進(jìn)行團(tuán)隊(duì)協(xié)作的呢？孩子們會回答我，在做生意里，商務(wù)里，護(hù)士也需要涉及到團(tuán)隊(duì)協(xié)作，老師也需要團(tuán)隊(duì)協(xié)作的精神的。

我會問：還會有其他的情況嗎？我的學(xué)生還會告訴我：想要練習(xí)好棒球還必須要有序。你必須要注意到發(fā)球的順序，你必須要知道到底誰是在哪個位置上打什么位置，在棒球練習(xí)結(jié)束之后還要把設(shè)備收拾好。這樣的話我們明天還能繼續(xù)用。然后，我會把它與現(xiàn)實(shí)生活結(jié)合起來，問他們，現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中有哪些情況需要這樣？他們會告訴我，做會計(jì)這項(xiàng)工作需要有序，在做生意這個領(lǐng)域里，任何人都必須要有序。所以，我們在練習(xí)棒球的時(shí)候，我們不僅僅是練習(xí)的只是棒球。我們實(shí)際上是在為今后的人生做準(zhǔn)備。

我的每一節(jié)課當(dāng)中，都會涉及到這樣的問題。這就是我的學(xué)生們能夠努力學(xué)習(xí)的原因。他們并不是為我在學(xué)習(xí)。他們是在為自己學(xué)習(xí)。我希望大家能夠再思考一下，今天晚上，我認(rèn)為非常重要的一點(diǎn)。如果大家從我的講座中只記得的一件事情的話，我希望大家記住這件事情。在中國的話，很多老師都會說，我教的是數(shù)學(xué)，我教的是初中學(xué)生。希望大家以后再回答這樣的問題的時(shí)候，用另一種答案。人們常常問我：雷夫，你怎么能教所有的科目呢？對于我來說是非常簡單的。為什么呢？因?yàn)槲医痰牟皇菙?shù)學(xué)，我教的也不是科學(xué)，我教的也不是文學(xué)，我教的也不是音樂，我教的也不是美術(shù)，我教的不是五年級的學(xué)生。我教的是——學(xué)生！兩個字，學(xué)生！（掌聲）您教的并不是某一門具體的學(xué)科，您教的是學(xué)生。

我將要給大家展示的這個，大家可能會覺得非常的吃驚，但是如果大家像我這樣做的話，也會得到這樣的結(jié)果。很多年之前，我的學(xué)生被邀請去華盛頓去表演，他們表演的地方是美國的最高法院。大家從視頻中可能看不到，但事實(shí)上臺下坐著近兩千名觀眾。我的學(xué)生在臺上表演除了面對兩千名觀眾，還要面對九名美國最高的法官。對于十歲的孩子來說，這確實(shí)是一個非常大的壓力。他們甚至還沒有時(shí)間和機(jī)會在這個舞臺上進(jìn)行彩排。下面大家看到的將是非常非常讓人吃驚的，在這個視頻中，大家可以看到一個男生，名字叫懷恩，他在表演中承擔(dān)的角色是背誦一封信——在美國內(nèi)戰(zhàn)時(shí)期的一封信。他朗誦的這封信是一位美國士兵寫給妻子的。這封信，是在一場戰(zhàn)役之前寫給妻子的，在信中他表達(dá)了對妻子無限的愛，也告訴她，在那一天，他可能會犧牲。但在這位士兵心里，他覺得他愛他的妻子，但他更愛他的祖國。他在信中寫道，如果他犧牲了，他的妻子以后感覺到輕風(fēng)拂面的時(shí)候，那將會是他。在表演之前，懷恩和我們一起都排練了很多很多次，他表現(xiàn)得非常好。

但是，在表演那天，在演出的時(shí)候，發(fā)生了這樣的事情。這樣的事情呢其實(shí)是會發(fā)生在老師把學(xué)生作為教育的中心的時(shí)候。這樣的事情這樣的表現(xiàn)也會發(fā)生在，表演的孩子不是看著他的老師，而是看著他自己，注意他自己。請大家在觀看視頻的時(shí)候，仔細(xì)的觀察這位孩子。在他朗誦的時(shí)候，在他開始朗誦不久，他自己決定，要用不同的另外一種方式去背誦這封信。就好像大家能夠從他的臉上可以看到他的腦子里面自己在思考。大家可以注意到他的氣息發(fā)生的變化，也注意看他的眼神。準(zhǔn)備好，您可能會哭。因?yàn)樵诼犕晁谋痴b之后，大家都哭了。表演結(jié)束后，觀眾都到后面來找躲在幕后的我。他們稱贊我說：“雷夫，你真是個天才！”但是，我自己跟這個孩子的表現(xiàn)一點(diǎn)關(guān)系都沒有，一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)關(guān)系也沒有。我僅僅做的就是，把這個稿子給他，然后讓他去熟讀去理解。這個孩子的表現(xiàn)，真的就是他自己的表現(xiàn)，跟我一點(diǎn)關(guān)系也沒有。所以，我請求在座的老師們能夠放棄一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)控制，然后能把這一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)控制的權(quán)利、掌控的權(quán)力還給我們的學(xué)生們。讓他們從自己的錯誤中去學(xué)習(xí)，讓他們跌倒。如果大家這樣做的話，視頻當(dāng)中這個孩子的表現(xiàn)將是您的學(xué)生的表現(xiàn)。

這就是我的秘訣——我和我的學(xué)生們一起做我喜歡、我們喜歡做的事情。（第六階段）其實(shí)，在座的老師們都有自己熱愛的某一項(xiàng)愛好，但我們老師終日為了追趕教學(xué)大綱，與之保持一致的時(shí)候，其實(shí)大家已經(jīng)放棄了自己到底是誰。

我自己是非常喜歡莎士比亞的，當(dāng)然啦，老師們并不需要喜歡莎士比亞。但是，我喜歡。我也很喜歡搖滾樂。每一天，我都會去彈奏。我也經(jīng)常聽搖滾樂。所以還在當(dāng)我早年的教學(xué)當(dāng)中，我每一天放學(xué)之后都會和學(xué)生一起開始排練莎士比亞戲劇。很多中國老師聽到我說這樣的話都會對我說：雷夫，你根本都不了解中國的實(shí)際情況，家長們肯定不會讓我這么做的。他們根本都不喜歡任何放學(xué)后的課外活動。他們所在意的就是考試分?jǐn)?shù)。

我自己有一個很重要的戒條，就是我從來都不去和人去爭論。在我剛剛開始莎士比亞戲劇教學(xué)的時(shí)候，也是非常非常少的孩子來參加，家長們也一點(diǎn)兒都不感興趣。在我第一年開始的時(shí)候，我的目標(biāo)是教四十個孩子。但是最后只有五個孩子（繼續(xù)學(xué)習(xí)），其中的有三個孩子之所以來，還是他們的母親想讓我?guī)兔φ疹櫼幌逻@三個孩子。大家還記得我剛才說的，我們?yōu)槭裁匆鑫覀儸F(xiàn)在從事做的東西。只要是和我一起練習(xí)過莎士比亞戲劇的孩子們，之后對語言都很在行，他們的閱讀能力和寫作能力都變得非常好。他們在公眾場合說話的能力和水平也變得很好。對于我來說，我覺得一個在學(xué)習(xí)音樂的孩子，實(shí)際上他每時(shí)每刻（都在數(shù)數(shù)），必須是非常集中注意力，才能成為一個小音樂家的。如果一個人能成為一個音樂家的話，那么他肯定在數(shù)學(xué)方面是很在行的。

在第一年，這五個孩子和我一起練習(xí)莎士比亞戲劇之后，他們的期末考試成績在全班前列，非常非?？壳埃喼笔欠浅Ａ钊苏痼@的靠前（在這次標(biāo)準(zhǔn)化考試中）。三十年過去了，在我現(xiàn)在的課室里，在我下午放學(xué)留下來和我一起排練莎士比亞戲劇的有成百個孩子。我從來都不和家長們爭論。但當(dāng)初說不感興趣的那幫家長在三十年后都表現(xiàn)出了非常濃厚的興趣。

但是我也意識到，我如果想把我這個班變成一個搖滾樂團(tuán)的話，我自己首先要去學(xué)習(xí)很多樂器。在我剛開始教學(xué)的時(shí)候，我是一個非常好的吉他手。但是我現(xiàn)在卻要教我的孩子們打鼓、鋼琴、管樂、大提琴、手風(fēng)琴、一種印第安的打擊樂器。這些樂器在待會兒的視頻中都可以看到。大家還記得嗎，剛開始講座的時(shí)候，我說孩子們會時(shí)時(shí)刻刻在注意著我們，注意著老師。我其實(shí)并不是非要去做這些事情，我也不擅長做這些事情，所以我需要尋求幫助。我需要向那些比我更擅長這些樂器的人學(xué)習(xí)。我也要繼續(xù)保持練習(xí)。我要通過練習(xí)來做得更好。難道這不就是我們想要學(xué)生學(xué)到的東西嗎？難道我們就不想他們向我們尋求幫助嗎？天天保持練習(xí)，努力做到更好。

三十年之后，我現(xiàn)在教的這些孩子們，他們彈奏的非常好，他們也不需要這樣去看著我，他們就自顧自的在那里演奏。他們也沒有課后一對一的去指導(dǎo)練習(xí)。他們?yōu)槭裁磿兊眠@么棒呢？他們?yōu)槭裁茨軌蛳駥I(yè)的演員一樣去表演莎士比亞戲劇呢？

我再給大家一個可能感到對我生氣的機(jī)會——我從來都不布置家庭作業(yè)！

我覺得家庭作業(yè)非常糟糕。大家老師還是學(xué)生的時(shí)候，肯定也非常討厭做家庭作業(yè)。是的嗎？（是）大家之所以做家庭作業(yè)，是不想惹麻煩。我認(rèn)為做家庭作業(yè)，并不是能學(xué)習(xí)到更多。我的孩子們放學(xué)回家之后都是去練習(xí)彈奏樂器。他們用他們回家的課后時(shí)間都去練習(xí)怎么樣去“說”語言。我覺得這是更好的家庭作業(yè)。我的學(xué)生們從來都不看電視，他們也不玩電腦游戲。他們都非常想彈奏他們想要彈奏的任何樂器。他們并不想浪費(fèi)時(shí)間去玩電子游戲。我的學(xué)生會想：為什么我能彈奏真實(shí)的吉他的時(shí)候，為什么我要去彈電腦上模擬的吉他呢？

下面我要將要給大家展示的是，為什么在我三十年的教育生涯中，還能保持如此高的熱情的原因。我要給大家播放的是過去五年里的我的學(xué)生們表演莎士比亞戲劇的集錦。我希望大家能夠幫我一個忙，在座的老師們并不是非要也喜歡上莎士比亞。請大家觀看視頻的時(shí)候，注意一下他們的自信，看一下他們的堅(jiān)持，看一下他們努力的結(jié)果，看一下他們享受的自由，看一下他們是怎樣集中注意力的。大家可以看到的是在我的教室里發(fā)生的這些特殊的景象。這些舞臺、燈光都是我的學(xué)生自己設(shè)計(jì)的，戲劇的每一個環(huán)節(jié)，每一個細(xì)節(jié)都是我的學(xué)生們自己去做的。

你們喜歡做什么？有沒有喜歡烹飪的老師？我希望喜歡烹飪的老師能夠花一些時(shí)間把烹飪（這個元素）融到自己的課堂教學(xué)中去，想一想學(xué)生們能從中學(xué)到什么；想一想他們?nèi)绻龀鲆粋€美餐的話，其他的孩子都會怎樣的去感受。

有喜歡跑步的老師嗎？我覺得這些老師可以建立起一個小小的跑步俱樂部。我的一個同事每天和他的學(xué)生們一起跑五英里的路。它使師生關(guān)系變得更加緊密，然后這些學(xué)生回到教室里的時(shí)候，他們會變成很好的學(xué)生。如果大家把自己，把真我放在課堂上，放在教學(xué)中的話，你就不會感到疲倦。

我相信我的前三十年的教學(xué)生涯是非常成功的，我相信我后面的三十年也一樣會是很棒的，甚至更棒。世界上有很多莎士比亞戲劇的表演愛好者，他們認(rèn)為我的學(xué)生是最好的表演者。讓我們觀看一下小小莎士比亞集錦。在結(jié)束今天的主題演講之前，我想問大家一個問題，是關(guān)于一個非常有名的一個人，我覺他在中國也非常有名。因?yàn)槲铱吹接械膶W(xué)生穿著他的球衣。我想問的是關(guān)于科比的。有多少人知道他？很多人，很多學(xué)生都認(rèn)為他（科比）是一個英雄。其實(shí)，在我的城市洛杉磯也是如此。但是，我跟我的學(xué)生說的是，他不是一個英雄。他曾經(jīng)在酒店的房間里打過一個女士，他曾經(jīng)多次背叛自己的妻子。他的隊(duì)友甚至都很討厭他，甚至都沒有人想要跟他一起打比賽。在我看來他是一個混蛋。我并不否認(rèn)他是一個偉大的籃球運(yùn)動員，但是在我看來他并不是一個英雄。在座的各位老師才是真正的英雄，因?yàn)榇蠹颐刻於荚趲椭鷦e人。我們每天走進(jìn)教室的時(shí)候都是在給學(xué)生樹立一個榜樣，每一次都會鼓勵那些惹麻煩的孩子。所以，在我心里，大家才是真正的英雄。我相信大家的鼓勵會有更多的回報(bào)。非常感謝大家今天晚上的聆聽。附 李建民校長的即興評論： 聽了雷夫老師的演講，我有三點(diǎn)感想：

第一點(diǎn)就是雷夫老師所說的，“因?yàn)槲医痰牟皇菙?shù)學(xué)，我教的也不是科學(xué)，我教的也不是文學(xué)??我教的是——學(xué)生！” 現(xiàn)在，中國有些地方的學(xué)生就是拼命在為了分?jǐn)?shù)而學(xué)，為了考試而學(xué)、為了家長而學(xué)。這樣的教育走向了反面，走向了異化。而我們看到雷夫老師的所作所為，他把教育的權(quán)利、把教育還給了學(xué)生。我們看到很多學(xué)校，包括我們學(xué)校，我們的老師，就是真正把學(xué)習(xí)的主動權(quán)還給了學(xué)生，學(xué)習(xí)是學(xué)生生命的需要，而不是老師和外界強(qiáng)加于他們的。

有人說，有些地方存在這樣的現(xiàn)象：學(xué)生喜歡讀小說，但是不喜歡學(xué)語文；喜歡活動，不喜歡體育課；喜歡唱歌，不喜歡音樂課??這是為什么呢，這就是我們的教育忽視了學(xué)生的個性、興趣愛好。那么雷夫老師在一個生源比較差的學(xué)校，但他從戲劇活動入手，把學(xué)生的學(xué)習(xí)興趣調(diào)動起來，而不是簡單地從學(xué)科知識入手。他能從孩子的興趣入手，讓孩子們喜歡學(xué)校、喜歡老師、喜歡這個教室、喜歡學(xué)習(xí)。從而讓他們的人生自信、陽光。這一點(diǎn)非常重要。這是第一點(diǎn)感受。第二點(diǎn)就是雷夫老師幾次提到的“己所不欲勿施于人”。我覺得這一點(diǎn)給我印象非常深刻。我們的道德教育、德育教育為什么總是很難成功，甚至失??？我們的德育課很多，我們有很多班會課，很多其他的課程，都在教育學(xué)生該做什么樣的人。但是我們忽視了一點(diǎn)，那就是我們老師自己在做什么。反觀我們有些老師的行為：要求學(xué)生不要大聲喧嘩，他自己卻在大聲喧嘩；不讓學(xué)生帶手機(jī)，他卻可以帶手機(jī)進(jìn)教室；不讓學(xué)生抽煙，他卻可以抽煙；教育學(xué)生隨手撿起地上的垃圾紙屑，他卻對這些垃圾紙屑無動于衷??我想，這種現(xiàn)象就是失敗的德育，這就是失敗的教育。

我經(jīng)常講到一句話，學(xué)校無小事，事事皆教育；教師無小節(jié)，處處做楷模。因?yàn)槟愕囊谎砸恍?，一舉一動，時(shí)時(shí)刻刻都在熏陶著每一個孩子。這就是我們講的率先垂范、為人師表。這一點(diǎn)是難能可貴的。我們看到雷夫的教室，沒有這么多的規(guī)則、也沒有這么多的道德教育，但他用自己的一言一行在影響著學(xué)生。

在講座中，我們看到兩個細(xì)節(jié)，這兩個細(xì)節(jié)讓我們感到汗顏。第一個就是那個孩子，雷夫是怎樣教育的，要知道怎樣尊重別人、理解別人。包括我本人也受到了批評，剛才我和扈主任商量會場布置的事情，在竊竊私語的時(shí)候，雷夫老師就這樣示意著我們了。我感到我們做的很不合適。所以，我們要時(shí)時(shí)反思自己。只要我們的教育過程中細(xì)節(jié)到位，要求學(xué)生做到的，自己首先做到。我想我們的教育就成功了，就不需要大的口號，不需要大的理論。

第三點(diǎn)感受就是，作為教師還需要一些奉獻(xiàn)精神。我們看到雷夫老師所在的學(xué)校，他的收入是中等偏下的，但是很多更高待遇的學(xué)校邀請他去，他卻拒絕了。包括他現(xiàn)在的演講，他演講的收入都放進(jìn)了一個教育基金里來資助那些貧困學(xué)生。另外，我們看到，雷夫每天6點(diǎn)鐘第一個到校，最后一個離校。他之所以在56號教室創(chuàng)造了奇跡，和他熱愛學(xué)生、樂于奉獻(xiàn)的精神緊密相關(guān)的。所以，今天雷夫的演講給我們帶來了很多的思考、反思。

我想，大家的感受可能更強(qiáng)烈。雷夫老師可能和我們在座的每一位老師一樣，都是一個平凡的、默默無聞的老師。但他能在自己的崗位上、在那幾十平方的教室里面默默的耕耘著、創(chuàng)造著自己的奇跡。（正如雷夫老師所說的），我們在座的每一位老師都是英雄，都是能用我們的行動創(chuàng)造著奇跡的英雄！謝謝大家！