第一篇：搞笑版_英語(yǔ)話(huà)劇_孔雀東南飛

《孔雀東南飛》

表演者：焦仲卿 飾（040905049）

劉蘭芝 飾（040905035）

焦母 飾（040905043）

劉母 飾（040905042）

旁白兼太守之子 飾（040905046）

強(qiáng)盜A 飾（040905047）

強(qiáng)盜B 飾（040905048）

焦仲卿Johnny(J for short)劉蘭芝Lunch(L for short)焦母Johnny’s mother(JM for short)劉母Lunch’s mother(LM for short)太守之子Mayor’s son(MS for short)強(qiáng)盜Burglars(A&B)

J: Everybody says that I’m henpecked, but in fact, I’m as strong as a tiger, while my wife is Wu Song.I’m not afraid of you!My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender than me.But she is not!Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!My God!Who can help me? Act1 旁白：when our lovely Johnny are suffering from the domestic violence ,Johnny's mother have been seen all of the things.(就在我們可愛(ài)的仲卿遭受家庭暴力時(shí)，JM已將這一切盡收耳底。)

JM:I can!Lunch!Lunch!Where are you? L: I’m here!What’s up mum?

JM: I’ve told you again and again that you should call me "my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.L: OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up? JM: Since you married my son you have behaved so badly.You have been so rude, so brusque, so lazy?? L: But??

JM: Never interrupt me!L: Never interrupt me!Since I married your son, that terrible Johnny, I have been working hard all day long, cooking and washing.I have raised ten soft thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and??

JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!Grandson!Where’s my grandson? L: Oh, you want a grandson, don’t you? Go and ask your son.I’m leaving!Act2 旁白：Lunch was driven away the house by the mother-in-law and came back her home(被婆婆趕出家門(mén)的蘭芝一步一回頭，三步兩回頭，無(wú)奈的回到了自己的家中。)L: Mum, I’m back!

LM: You are back? Why? What happened? L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.LM: See!I have already told you!When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny, I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor ,but you did not listen to me.Look at yourself?? L: But, mum??

LM: Never interrupt me!L: Mum, I’m not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK? And I’ll marry whom ever you want me to.LM: Nice girl!Just now, I met the mayor’s son in the market.He said:” If your daughter.Haven’t been married, I really want to marry her!“Now you are free again, I’ll go and tell him.(下)L: What? The mayor’s son? The most famous play boy in the neighbor-hood? What a silly thing I have done!(下)Act3 旁白：Johnny's home was soon in trouble without Lunch , Johnny's mother have to let Johnny find Lunch and come home.It said that there are some Burglars on the way to Lunch 's home.(沒(méi)有了蘭芝的焦家很快陷入了窘境，JM只好讓仲卿將蘭芝找回。聽(tīng)說(shuō)去蘭芝家的路上常有強(qiáng)盜出沒(méi)。)A: Hey you!Stop and listen to us!The road is built by me!B: And I planted one tree!A: If you want to go by this street---A&B: Give us all your money!J: Don’t kill me!Don’t kill me!I’ll give all my money to you!Is 1 mao enough? A: What bad luck!B: If we can not rob any money today, we will have nothing to eat tonight!A: I heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lan zhi next month.We can go and rob the wedding!A&B: Good idea!J: What? What? Lunch is going to get married? It’s impossible!A&B: Why? A pretty girl and a rich man, what a good couple!J: But Lunch is my wife!We haven’t got divorced yet!I’ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding, don’t you? I’ll go with you.You take the money and I take the bride.B: Have you got any experience? J: No.But I’ve got this!

Act4 旁白：Time flies,it's wedding date.Mayor’s son is happily holding the bride's hand ,and Lunch is unwillingness under the red cloth.(轉(zhuǎn)眼已到了婚禮之期．太守之子意氣風(fēng)發(fā)的牽著新娘，蘭芝蓋著紅蓋頭極不情愿跟在后邊。)AB&J: Hey you!Stop and listen to us!A: The road is built by me!B: And I planted one tree.A: If you want to go by this street---AB＆J: Give us all your money!L: Johnny!I miss you so much!MS: Who are you and where are you from? Who rob my bride will be killed!J: How dare you beat my wife!I will kill you!J: Honey, how are you? L: I hurt a lot!J: Don’t cry baby.Eat this at once!I’ll go and fetch the medicine.(下)L: Wait for me!

學(xué)院：理學(xué)院

班級(jí)：04信計(jì)（2）班

專(zhuān)業(yè)：信息與計(jì)算科學(xué)

第二篇：《孔雀東南飛》（英文搞笑話(huà)劇

Wanderseveryfivemiles

焦仲卿Johy(Jforshort)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lforshort)

焦母Johy’smother(JMforshort)劉母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)太守之子Mayor’on(MSforshort)強(qiáng)盜Burglars(ABandC)

Prologue

(J作

被打狀跑上臺(tái),內(nèi)砸出一卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪)

J:EverybodysaysthatI’mheecked,butinfact,I’matrongasatiger,(小聲)whilemy

wifeisWuSong.(指著上臺(tái)處的門(mén)大聲道)I’mnotafraidofyou!

(內(nèi)砸出一臉盆,Ｊ接住當(dāng)成盾牌護(hù)著頭)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?

MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheiraverthanme,smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender

thanme.Butsheiot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!

(內(nèi)又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中J)

MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)

Act1

(序幕結(jié)束時(shí),JM作竊聽(tīng)狀)

JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!

(對(duì)門(mén)內(nèi))Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?

L(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門(mén)內(nèi)跳出來(lái)):I’mhere!What’supmum?

JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland

dearestmother-in-law”.L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?

JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeeorude,sobrusque,so

lazy……

L:But……

JM:Neverinterruptme!

L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohy,Ihavebeenworkinghardall

daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedteofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken

and……

JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!

L(生氣地?fù)]動(dòng)著鍋鏟):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(開(kāi)始解圍裙)Goandaskyour

son.I’mleaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在JM的臉上,下)

Act2

(LM坐在臺(tái)上打毛線(xiàn),L拿著鍋鏟上)

L:Mum,I’mback!

LM:Youareback?Why?Whathaened?

L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.LM(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災(zāi)樂(lè)禍的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouiistedon

marryingthatterribleJohy,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten

tome.Lookatyourself……

L:But,mum……

LM:Neverinterruptme!

L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?And

I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’oninthemarket.Hesaid:“Ifyoudaughter

Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo

andtellhim.(下

第三篇：六人英語(yǔ)搞笑劇本 孔雀東南飛

六人英語(yǔ)搞笑劇本 孔雀東南飛

Wander severy five miles 焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lforshort)焦母Johnny’s mother(JMforshort)劉母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)強(qiáng)盜Burglars(ABandC)

(Johnny（焦仲卿）作被打狀跑上臺(tái),內(nèi)砸出一卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪)Johnny（焦仲卿）:Everybody says that I’m henpecked,but in fact,I’m as strong as a tiger,(小聲)while my wifeis Wu Song.(指著上臺(tái)處的門(mén)大聲道)I’m not afraid of you!(內(nèi)砸出一臉盆, Johnny（焦仲卿）接住當(dāng)成盾牌護(hù)著頭)Then,I’m afraid of whom? My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender than me.But she is not!Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!(內(nèi)又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中Johnny（焦仲卿）)My God!Who can help me?(下)Act1(序幕結(jié)束時(shí),作竊聽(tīng)狀)焦母（JM）(拄拐棍上):I can!(對(duì)門(mén)內(nèi))Lunch!Lunch!Where are you? 劉蘭芝Lunch(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門(mén)內(nèi)跳出來(lái)):I’m here!What’s up mum? 焦母（JM）:I’ve told you again and again that you should call me“my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.劉蘭芝 Lunch :OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what’s up? 焦母（JM）:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly.You have been so rude,sobrusque,so lazy…… 劉蘭芝 Lunch :But……

焦母（JM）:Never interrupt me!劉蘭芝 Lunch:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard all day long,cooking and washing.I have raised ten soft housands of pigs and ducks and chicken and……

焦母（JM）:But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!劉蘭芝 Lunch(生氣地?fù)]動(dòng)著鍋鏟):Oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(開(kāi)始解圍裙)Goandask your son.I’m leaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在焦母（JM）的臉上,下)

Act2(焦母（JM）坐在臺(tái)上打毛線(xiàn)劉蘭芝Luch拿著鍋鏟上)劉蘭芝(Luch):Mum,I’m back!焦母（JM）:You are back?Why?What happened? 劉蘭芝(Luch):I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.焦母（JM）(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災(zāi)樂(lè)禍的神情):See!I have already told you!When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen to me.Look at yourself…… 劉蘭芝(Luch):But,mum…… 焦母（JM）:Never interrupt me!劉蘭芝(Luch):Mum,I’m not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK?And I’ll marry whom ever you want me to.劉母Lunch’smother(大喜):Nice girl!Justnow,I met the mayor’s son in the market.Hesaid:“If your daughter Haven’t been married,I really really want to marry her!”Now you are free again,I’ll go and tell him.(下)劉蘭芝(Luch):What?The mayor’s son?The most famous play boy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的鍋 鏟掉在地上)What as illy thing I have done!(下)

Act3(焦仲卿Johnny睡眼惺忪上)焦仲卿Johnny(邊走邊道):Lunch!Lunch!Where are my socks?(走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)Here they are!(聞一下)Er!Howsmelly!They are still dirty!(突然想起)Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來(lái))Oh,I’m so hungry!But there’s no breakfast!(撿起地上的圍 裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now she has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself.焦母（JM）:Where’s my breakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’t she got up yet? 焦仲卿Johnny:Mum,can’t you remember?Lunch has gone!焦母（JM）(沉吟片刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,a son without a wifeisuseless.Lunch is an ice girl,go and take her back!焦仲卿Johnny(立正敬禮):Yes madam!Act4(焦仲卿Johnny開(kāi)心地走著，忽然跳出來(lái)三個(gè)強(qiáng)盜)A:Hey you!Stop and listen to us!The road is built by me!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)B:And I planted one tree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)C:If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了A的腳)AB&C:Give us all your money!焦仲卿Johnny(搜遍了每一個(gè)口袋，掏出1角硬幣):Is1 mao enough?(三強(qiáng)盜暈倒?fàn)?，接著三人聚在一邊商?A:What bad luck!This guy is broken!B:If we can notrobany money today,we will have nothing to eat tonight!C:I heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lanzhi next month.WE can go and rob the wedding!A&B:Good idea!焦仲卿Johnny(驚訝):What?What?Lunch is going to get married?It’s impossible!AB&C:Why?A pretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple!焦仲卿Johnny:But Lunch is my wife!We haven’t got divorced yet!(突然有了主意)I’ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don’tyou?I’ll go with you.You take the money and I take the bride.B:Have you got any experience? 焦仲卿Johnny:No.But I’ve got this!(J脫下鞋子從里面摸出一張支票，上書(shū)＄1，000，000)Act5(轉(zhuǎn)眼已到了婚禮之期．太守之子意氣風(fēng)發(fā)用紅綢牽著新娘上，劉蘭芝Luch蓋著紅蓋頭極不情愿地被拉上臺(tái))(焦仲卿Johnny和三強(qiáng)盜躍至臺(tái)中)ABC&焦仲卿Johnny:Heyyou!Stop and listen to us!A:The road is built by me!B:And I planted one tree.C:If you want to go by this street---焦仲卿Johnny:Give us all your money!劉蘭芝(Luch)聽(tīng)到焦仲卿Johnny的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)劉蘭芝(Luch)(驚喜萬(wàn)分):Johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到焦仲卿Johnny的身邊并躲到了的身后)(太守之子大怒，揮拳向焦仲卿Johnn打來(lái)．焦仲卿Johnny矮身一躲，太守之子打中了焦仲卿Johnny身后的劉蘭芝(Luch)，劉蘭芝(Luch)暈倒)焦仲卿Johnny(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!（揮拳向太守之子沖去）

(焦仲卿Johnny與太守之子混戰(zhàn)，焦母上，以拐杖擊暈太守之子)(焦仲卿Johnn將太守之子胸前的新郎標(biāo)志扯下戴在自己胸前)焦仲卿Johnny(扶起劉蘭芝(Luch)，關(guān)切地問(wèn)):Honey,how are you? 劉蘭芝(Luch)(哭狀):I hurt a lot!焦仲卿Johnny:Don’t cry baby.I’ll go and fetch the medicine.(下)劉蘭芝(Luch)(起身去追):Wait for me!(跑下)

第四篇：孔雀東南飛 英語(yǔ)搞笑劇本（最終版）

3-1l:mum, i’m back!

lm:you are back?why?what happened? l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.lm(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災(zāi)樂(lè)禍的神情):see!i have already told you!when you insisted on marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen to me.look at yourself…… l:but,mum……

lm:never interrupt me!l:mum,i’m not interrupting you.i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and i’ll marry whomever you want me to.lm(大喜):nice girl!just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said:“if your daughter haven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll go and tell him.(下)l(驚愕):what? the mayor’s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的鍋 鏟掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)act3(j睡眼惺忪上)j(邊走邊道):lunch!lunch!where are mysocks?(走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)here they are!(聞一下)er!how smelly!they are still dirty!(突然想起)lunch has gone!i have to wash them myself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來(lái))oh,i’m so hungry!but there’s no breakfast!(撿起地上的圍

裙)this is what lunch always wears!i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill!now she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.jm(上):where’s my breakfast? where’slunch?hasn’t she got up yet?

j:mum, can’t you remember?lunch has gone!

jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless.lunch is an ice girl,go and take her back!j(立正敬禮):yes madam!act4(j開(kāi)心地走著，忽然跳出來(lái)三個(gè)強(qiáng)盜)a:hey you!stop and listen to us!the road is built by me!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)c:if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了a的腳)ab&c:give us all your money!j(搜遍了每一個(gè)口袋，掏出１角硬幣):is 1mao enough?(三強(qiáng)盜暈倒?fàn)?，接著三人聚在一邊商?a:what bad luck!this guy is broken!

3-3-b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight!c:i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liulanzhi next month.we can go and rob the wedding!a&b:good idea!j(驚訝):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!

ab&c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!j:but lunch is my wife!we haven’t got divorced yet!

(突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’tyou? i’ll go with you.you take the money and i take the bride.b:have you got any experience? j:no.but i’ve got this!(j脫下鞋子從里面摸出一張支票，上書(shū)＄１，０００，０００)act5(轉(zhuǎn)眼已到了婚禮之期．ms意氣風(fēng)發(fā)用紅綢牽著新娘上，j蓋著紅蓋頭極不情愿地被拉上臺(tái))(j和三強(qiáng)盜躍至臺(tái)中)abc&j:hey you!stop and listen to us!a:the road is built by me!b:and i planted one tree.c:if you want to go by this street---j:give us all your money!(l聽(tīng)到j(luò)的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)l(驚喜萬(wàn)分):johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到j(luò)的身邊并躲到了的身后)(ms大怒，揮拳向j打來(lái)．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l暈倒)j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!（揮拳向ms沖去）(j與ms混戰(zhàn)，jm上，以拐杖擊暈ms)(j將ms胸前的新郎標(biāo)志扯下戴在自己胸前)j(扶起l，關(guān)切地問(wèn)):honey, how are you? l(哭狀):i hurt a lot!j:don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine.(下)l(起身去追):wait for me!(跑下)

第五篇：孔雀東南飛--英語(yǔ)搞笑短劇劇本

焦仲卿johnny(j for short)劉蘭芝lunch(l for short)焦母johnny’s mother(jm for short)劉母lunch’s mother(lm for short)太守之子mayor’s son(ms for short)強(qiáng)盜burglars(a b and c)prologue 序幕

(j作被打狀跑上臺(tái),內(nèi)砸出一卷紙筒,j被打中,狼狽不堪)j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小聲)while my wife is wusong.譯：人人都說(shuō)我怕老婆，實(shí)際上我是老虎，（小聲）我妻子是武松。(指著上臺(tái)處的門(mén)大聲道)i’m not afraid of you!譯：我才不怕你呢！

(內(nèi)砸出一臉盆,j接住當(dāng)成盾牌護(hù)著頭)then, i’m afraid of whom!my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighborhood.she is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me.all this i do not care.i only want her to be tenderer than me.but she is not!having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!譯：誰(shuí)怕誰(shuí)??！在鄰里中，我妻子是最有名氣的。她比我勇敢、比我聰明、比我強(qiáng)壯。我也不在乎這些。我只覺(jué)得她該對(duì)我溫柔些，但是她卻不懂溫柔！有這樣的太太就像活在地獄中??！(內(nèi)又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中j)my god!who can help me?(下)譯：我的天！誰(shuí)來(lái)救救我?。?act1 第一幕

(序幕結(jié)束時(shí),jm作竊聽(tīng)狀)jm(拄拐棍上):i can!(對(duì)門(mén)內(nèi))lunch!lunch!where are you? l(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門(mén)內(nèi)跳出來(lái)):i’m here!what’s up，mum? jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?

jm:since you married my son you have behaved so badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so lazy…… l:but……

jm:never interrupt me!l:never interrupt me!since i married your son, that terrible johnny, i have been working hard all day long, cooking and washing.i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and……

jm: but all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!l(生氣地?fù)]動(dòng)著鍋鏟):oh, you want a grandson, don’t you?(開(kāi)始解圍裙)go and ask your son.i’m leaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在jm的臉上,下)act2(lm坐在臺(tái)上打毛線(xiàn),l拿著鍋鏟上)l: mum, i’m back!

lm: you are back?why? what happened? l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.lm(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災(zāi)樂(lè)禍的神情):see!i have already told you!when you insisted on marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly, stupid and poor, but you did not listen to me.look at yourself…… l: but, mum…… lm: never interrupt me!l: mum, i’m not interrupting you.i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? And i’ll marry whomever you want me to.lm(大喜): nice girl!just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said, “if your daughter haven’t been married, i really really want to marry her!” now you are free again, i ’ll go and tell him.(下)l(驚愕): what? the mayor’s son? the most famous playboy in the neighborhood?(手中的鍋鏟掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)act3(j睡眼惺忪上)j(邊走邊道): lunch!lunch!where are my socks?(走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)here they are!(聞一下)er!how smelly!they are still dirty!(突然想起)lunch has gone!i have to wash them myself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來(lái))oh, i’m so hungry!but there’s no breakfast!(撿起地上的圍裙)this is what lunch always wears!i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill!Now she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.jm(上): where’s my breakfast? where’s lunch? hasn’t she got up yet? j: mum, can’t you remember? lunch has gone!jm(沉吟片刻): well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is useless.lunch is a nice girl, go and take her back!j(立正敬禮): yes madam!act4(j開(kāi)心地走著，忽然跳出來(lái)三個(gè)強(qiáng)盜)a: hey you!stop and listen to us!the road is built by me!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)b: and i planted one tree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)c: if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了a的腳)ab&c: give us all your money!j(搜遍了每一個(gè)口袋，掏出1角硬幣):is 1mao enough?(三強(qiáng)盜暈倒?fàn)睿又司墼谝贿吷塘?a: what bad luck!this guy is broken!b: if we cannot rob any money today, we will have nothing to eat tonight!c: i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liu lanzhi next month.we can go and rob the wedding!a&b: good idea!j(驚訝): what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!ab&c: why? a pretty girl and a rich man, what a good couple!j: but lunch is my wife!we haven’t got divorced yet!(突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’t you? i’ll go with you.you take the money and i take the bride.b: have you got any experience? j: no.but i’ve got this!(j脫下鞋子從里面摸出一張支票，上書(shū)＄1，000，000)act5(轉(zhuǎn)眼已到了婚禮之期．ms意氣風(fēng)發(fā)用紅綢牽著新娘上，j蓋著紅蓋頭極不情愿地被拉上臺(tái))(j和三強(qiáng)盜躍至臺(tái)中)abc&j: hey you!stop and listen to us!a: the road is built by me!b: and i planted one tree.c: if you want to go by this street---j: give us all your money!(l聽(tīng)到j(luò)的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)l(驚喜萬(wàn)分): johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到j(luò)的身邊并躲到了的身后)(ms大怒，揮拳向j打來(lái)．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l暈倒)j(火冒三丈): how dare you beat my wife!（揮拳向ms沖去）(j與ms混戰(zhàn)，jm上，以拐杖擊暈ms)(j將ms胸前的新郎標(biāo)志扯下戴在自己胸前)j(扶起l，關(guān)切地問(wèn)):honey, how are you? l(哭狀): i hurt a lot!j: don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine.(下)l(起身去追):wait for me!(跑下)