第一篇：三打白骨精英文劇本英語(yǔ)話劇

Monkey Subdues the White-bone Demon

Roles:

Monkey King(M)猴哥 Pig(P)

八戒

Tangseng(T)

唐僧 Shaseng(S)

沙僧

White-bone Demon(W)

白骨精 White-bone Demon’Servant(Ws)Young Girl(G)

年輕女孩

Old Lady(L)

老婦人

Fortune teller(F)

先知

Narrator: It’s a very day in the journey to the west, the four monks are travelling in the rolling mountains,in which lives white-bone demon.And she is quite excited to be informed that Tangseng is coming.師徒四人西天取經(jīng)，白骨精途中等待。（1桃花朵朵開）

（White-bone Demon with her servant behind steps in the stage）

Ws: madam, here is the fresh blood!You look so well today!

W: Aha, of cause!A monk called Tangseng is coming and it is said that one who has eaten his flesh will never die or grow old!What a precious opportunity for me it is!I will turn into a beautiful girl to win his heart!

（White-bone Demon spinsherself and turned into a beautiful young girl，then waited for the monks to come.）

M: master, I feel that there is some evil in this area!(讓三人站在呼啦圈內(nèi))you three stay in this magical ring and I will go to search for some food!See you later!(悟空跳出舞臺(tái))G：oh, god gives me such a wonderful chance!(整理妝容，伴奏2音樂(lè)起，走貓步上臺(tái))P: hey, master!Have you got the smell of a beauty? T: Absolutely!Er, actually I find she is walking toward us!

G: How do you do, lovely monks? My name is snow white.You must be hungry after such a long journey.Here is some bread for you!P: oh, what a kindhearted girl!Baby, I do hungry very much!Shall we eat the bread together?

S: I think she may be a demon!Be careful, pig!

（八戒壓根不理他，色迷迷的走出呼啦圈，走向美女）

P: you are such beautiful，and I’m such handsome.Shouldn’t we be a suitable couple? G: yes, I’d love to!

（音樂(lè)3my love will go on響起八戒與少女一起做泰坦尼克中的經(jīng)典動(dòng)作。兩 人陶醉其中。沙僧與唐僧低頭念經(jīng)）S: oh, my Buddha!How can a monk act as this!T: er mi tuo fo er mi tuo fo er mi tuo fo ??

（3音樂(lè)結(jié)束，悟空舉著金箍棒跳出）

M: you greedy demon!Dare you come to tempt my brother!Go to the hell right now!（一棒將其打死）

S：master, monkey has killed a person!

P: A person who is a nice young girl who likes me!

T: monkey, do you know you have murdered an innocent young girl?

You must be responsible for it!And as your master I must punish you!(開始念緊箍咒)@#￥%）（*&%??￥#！

（悟空痛苦萬(wàn)分，在地上打滾。舞臺(tái)另一邊白骨精上,做憤憤狀）W：what a damn monkey!Hum, I won’t give up！M-a-g-i-c!

(白骨精轉(zhuǎn)下臺(tái)，老婦人上。拄著拐，彎腰駝背咳嗽不斷，向唐僧一行走去)L：Snow white!Snow white!----master,(唐僧停止念咒，悟空站起來(lái)對(duì)老夫怒目而 視，齜牙咧嘴)have you seen my 19 year old daughter? She went out to send some food to some monks, but haven’t gone back yet!P:er, er ,no!Absolutely no!

(老婦環(huán)顧四周看到女兒尸體！忙撲到她身邊。4二泉映月起)

L: wake up!Snow white!Wake up!who killed you!M: master, this is the same demon!She came again!let kill her!(躍起揮棒將其打死在地)

S：master, again monkey killed a person!P: A person who is a old poor mother!

M: Nonsense!She is a demon who wants to eat you!Why don’t you trust me!（師徒正在爭(zhēng)吵時(shí)，白骨精在臺(tái)上揉自己被打過(guò)的地方，計(jì)上心頭，旋轉(zhuǎn)下臺(tái)，半仙上臺(tái)，舉著小旗上書“賽神仙”，腿有些陂，翻著白眼.）

N: when the four monks are debating, the Ms White-bone had come up with another idea and turned herself into a fortune teller.F：what a pity that such a handsome monk has an incurable disease！What a pity!T: are you talking to me? Have I got that terrible disease? What’s it?

F: your legs!One is longer while the other is shorter!If you let it go at that you will lose the ability to move even a centimeter one day！

M: don’t believe in him, master!He’s the same demon!

F: shit!What I said is definitely true!You don’t believe that? Let me show you!Follow me now-----

(5音樂(lè)起。師徒四人跟著半仙開始走。半仙帶著四人瘸著走。繞呼啦圈兩周)S: Oh no!we’re all disabled!

P: master, we have to accept the treatment!

M: rubbish!I won’t let you cheat others any more!Taste my stick!(一棒將其打死)

T：monkey!You kill three innocent persons in a row！How can I forgive you!I won’t be your master any longer.Get away from me now!Go wherever you like!M: Master!You will regret for this foolish decision!(生氣的離去)（白骨精的奸笑響起，昂首闊步上臺(tái)6音樂(lè)起）

W：Ahahaha!He thinks it’s foolish decision, but I do think it can’t be wiser!Dear Mr.Tang, do you know how much I miss you, especially your delicious flesh?（以一種美食家的眼光審視唐僧，不住的咽口水）Er，which way of cooking do you prefer, frying or stewing? T,S,P: Monkey!Help!Help!------（悟空蹦出來(lái)7音樂(lè)起）M: yes！Here I am!You damn demon!I can’t let you flee away this time!(兩人開始打太極，不一會(huì)兒悟空便將她按倒在地，正要拿起棒子打她)T：wait a minute!

M,P,S：why? It’s really a demon!

(唐僧鄙視徒仨，拿起自己的禪杖將白骨精打死，徒仨暈倒)T：ermituofu——monkey？ M：yes?

T: I’m sorry that I didn’t trust you ??

M: ah, that’s all right!The white-bone demon is the one to be blamed!T: ok, let’continue our journey!M,P,S: all right, let’s go!（8音樂(lè)起）

N: here comes the end of this play, but it’s still replayed between friends again and again.May you always trust your friends and be loyal to them!That’s all, thank you!(全體演員上臺(tái)謝幕)

第二篇：三打白骨精英語(yǔ)話劇劇本

Three Times Beating the Monster

三打白骨精

-----七年制

開頭出場(chǎng)，視頻《英文版 敢問(wèn)路在何方》(我們利用的是視頻里的音樂(lè))，四師徒出場(chǎng)(等到四人全部出來(lái)后暫停視頻)。

【本劇燈光都是全亮的】

唐僧: Wukong，where are we now？

(悟空,我們現(xiàn)在到哪兒了?)悟空：Ba Jie，map.(八戒,地圖.)八戒誤拿出一張美女圖，給了悟空.悟空：Oh，master，look！

(哦,師父,你看啊!)唐僧：Oh，Ba Jie，how many times I have told you don’t take these pictures of beautiful girls with you.(八戒,我告訴你多少次啦,不要老是帶美女圖啦!)八戒：Oh，master，forgive me.(噢,師父,原諒我這次吧!)唐僧：No，I think I will take this until we get to the west，Ba Jie，map.(沒(méi)門,我想就由我先暫時(shí)保管,直到我們到達(dá)西天,取得真經(jīng).八戒,地圖!)八戒：Oh，master，I am so hungry now，and I can not move anymore.(噢,師父,我肚子餓扁了,我再也走不動(dòng)了.)悟空：Fat pig.(肥豬.)八戒：Monkey，if you say these two words once more，I will，I will……

(死猴子,如果你再敢說(shuō)這兩個(gè)字,我就……我就……)悟空：You will ,you will what？

(你就想干嘛啊?)八戒: I will help you catch louses（虱子）.(嘿嘿,我就幫你抓虱子啊!)唐僧: Wukong，I am hungry too，would you bring us some food?

(悟空,我也餓了,你能幫我們?nèi)フ倚┏缘膯?)八戒：You see，our master is hungry too.(你看,我們師父也餓了.)唐僧：Bajie，don’t forget who ate my last meal.(八戒,不要忘了,誰(shuí)把我上一餐的飯給吃了.)沙僧：But master，if the monster comes while monkey brother is away，what can we do？

(但是師父,如果有妖精來(lái)了,而大師兄又不在的話,該怎么辦啊!)唐僧：Yes，that is a big problem，Wukong.(是的誒,這倒是個(gè)問(wèn)題.悟空.)悟空：No problem！

(沒(méi)問(wèn)題.)悟空拿著金箍棒繞著他們跑了一圈…… 八戒：This is……

(這是……)悟空：Electric net，I made it，so no monster can touch you if you stay in it.(這是我織的電網(wǎng),只要你們呆在里面,沒(méi)有妖精能進(jìn)來(lái).)唐僧：Oh Wukong，you are becoming more

and more knowledgeable.Knowledge is power！!(八戒：is food 沙僧：is girl)

(哦悟空,你真是越來(lái)越知識(shí)淵博哦,知識(shí)就是力量啊![八戒:是美食.沙僧:是美女.])悟空：OK , I am going to find some food, bye!

（那好，我去找吃的啦，拜拜?。?/p>

唐僧：OK, it is the show time.（好的，現(xiàn)在是我們展示自己的時(shí)間啦?。┓乓魳?lè)《窮開心》，三師徒開始跳舞。

一段時(shí)間后，唐僧：I am a little tired , let’s play cards.（我有點(diǎn)累了，我們打牌吧。）放《斗地主》，師徒三人開始打牌。白骨精現(xiàn)身。

白骨精：Electric net ？It is easy，hahaha??！

（傳說(shuō)中的電網(wǎng)？小菜一碟嘛，哈哈哈哈哈?。┌坠蔷兂纱骞贸鰜?lái)…… 村姑：Can I join you?

（能加我一個(gè)嗎？）

唐僧：Oh，lady，we are playing cards now，and three people are enough.（哦，女士，我們現(xiàn)在在斗地主呢，三個(gè)人已經(jīng)夠了。）村姑：Oh，chance.（噢，機(jī)會(huì)。）唐僧：Oh，chance.（噢，機(jī)會(huì)。）村姑：Double King.（一對(duì)K。）

唐僧：Double King，oh，I win，lady you are so clever，come in and teach me.（一對(duì)K，哦，我贏啦！女士，你太強(qiáng)啦，來(lái)，進(jìn)來(lái)教我吧！）這時(shí)悟空回來(lái)了。

悟空：You are the monster，I will kill you.（你是妖精，我殺了你。）

唐僧：Oh，Wukong，what are you doing，she is my teacher.（悟空，你看看你干了什么，她是我?guī)煾赴?。）八戒（?duì)悟空）:She is my teacher!

（她是我?guī)煾浮＃?/p>

悟空:She is a monster!（她是個(gè)妖精。）八戒（對(duì)唐僧）:she is a monster!

（她是個(gè)妖精。）

這個(gè)地方八戒要表現(xiàn)出墻頭草的樣子。

唐僧：Don’t say this.（這時(shí)放《only you》，當(dāng)做緊箍咒）Only you……

（不要再說(shuō)了。念緊箍咒。）白骨精現(xiàn)身。

白骨精：Wahahaha，Sun Wukong，I will teach you a lesson.（哇哈哈哈，孫悟空，我馬上就給你個(gè)教訓(xùn)。）白骨精變身老婦出場(chǎng)。

老婦：Daughter.Daughter.Where is my daughter? Hello, have you seen my daughter?

（女兒啊，女兒啊，女兒你在哪里??？【對(duì)唐僧】你好，請(qǐng)問(wèn)你看到我女兒了嗎？）唐僧:Your daughter……故意作出擋住村姑尸體的樣子

（你女兒……）

悟空剛從緊箍咒的痛苦中清醒過(guò)來(lái)，看到老婦。悟空:You are the monster, I will beat you.（我打死你這個(gè)死妖精。）

聽到這句話，唐僧去擋老婦，孫悟空把唐僧推到在地后，將老婦打死。沙僧扶起唐僧。沙僧：Master，are you OK? How many?

（師父，怎么樣，你還好嗎？【伸出兩根手指】這是幾？）唐僧：Two，game over Sun Wukong.（兩個(gè)啦，孫悟空，你死定啦。）

見唐僧已經(jīng)對(duì)悟空產(chǎn)生不滿，這時(shí)白骨精抓住時(shí)機(jī)，變成老頭出來(lái)。老頭出場(chǎng)后，看到倒在地上的老伴和女兒，狂奔過(guò)去。

老頭：Oh，my wife my daughter，who did it？

（噢，我的女兒啊，我的老伴啊，這是誰(shuí)干的？）悟空轉(zhuǎn)身，見又一個(gè)妖怪來(lái)了，果斷舉起金箍棒就要打。悟空：You are going to die, monster.（見閻王去吧，死妖精。）

唐僧：Oh Wukong，you have killed three lives.（悟空，你竟然殺了三個(gè)人。）

悟空:They are not human beings，they are monsters.（他們不是人，他們是妖精。）

唐僧：Monster？I think you are the real monster，you go！you go！It is the wrong way.（妖精？我看你才是真的妖精吧，你走，哪來(lái)的回哪兒去吧！【見悟空往錯(cuò)的方向走了，唐僧指出】走錯(cuò)啦，走錯(cuò)啦。這邊。）

八戒:Oh master monkey brother is away.（哦，師父，猴哥就這樣走啦?。┨粕篋on’t say that guy.（不要理那個(gè)B了。）

白骨精見最強(qiáng)大的孫悟空已經(jīng)被趕走了，高興地出來(lái)了，準(zhǔn)備享受唐僧肉。白骨精：Hahahahaha，how foolish you are，I will eat you，Mr Tang.（哈哈哈哈，唐僧，你是多么的愚蠢啊，我要吃了你。）

原來(lái)悟空已經(jīng)識(shí)破了白骨精的奸計(jì)，是故意離開的，看到白骨精終于露出了原形，悟空奔過(guò)來(lái)，一棒拍死了白骨精。

悟空：Don’t touch my master.（不要碰我?guī)煾?。?/p>

沙僧：Oh，our hero is back！

（哦，我們的英雄回來(lái)啦?。┌私洌篗onkey brother……

（猴哥……）

唐僧起來(lái)，迷茫的問(wèn)悟空。

唐僧：What……what happened ？

（發(fā)生什么了？）

悟空：Master，you were cheated，the monster has changed into three different shapes.（師父，你被她騙啦，她只是變成了三個(gè)不同的變身而已。）唐僧：But how did you find it？

（但是你是怎么發(fā)現(xiàn)的呢？）悟空：Monkey’s feeling.（猴子的直覺(jué)。）

哪吒: I am coming.（我來(lái)啦。）

悟空：You are too late，哪吒.（哪吒，你怎么來(lái)那么晚啊。）哪吒：Where is the criminal？

（罪犯在哪兒呢？）唐僧：Na~~~ 哪吒:Hei，hei,you are under arrest, you have the right to speak to an attorney before you speak to the police ,anything you say may be used against you in the court of law, let us go.（嘿嘿，你被捕啦，在你見到自己的律師前，你有權(quán)保持沉默，但是你所說(shuō)的將來(lái)可能會(huì)成為呈堂證供。我們走吧。）

唐僧：Wukong，I think I am wrong.（悟空，我錯(cuò)了?。┪蚩眨篧hat？

（悟空裝作沒(méi)聽見，什么？）唐僧：I am sorry！

（對(duì)不起。）

悟空：I can not hear clearly.（我聽不清。）

唐僧為表心意，與八戒、沙僧一起跳《sorry，sorry》 唐僧：I am so sorry，you are my monkey.（我真的錯(cuò)了，原諒我吧，你永遠(yuǎn)是我的猴子。）悟空：I am always your monkey

（我永遠(yuǎn)都是你的猴子。）

八戒很不要臉的上去，推開悟空，抱著唐僧。八戒：I am always your pig.（我永遠(yuǎn)是你的八戒。）

眾人噓聲后離開。這時(shí)繼續(xù)放視頻《英文版 敢問(wèn)路在何方》，四師徒接著上路取經(jīng)。全劇結(jié)束，謝幕。

第三篇：搞笑英文話劇劇本(三打白骨精)

搞笑英文話劇劇本

Three Times’ Beating Monster

人物：T唐僧 S：孫悟空 E：豬八戒 J：沙僧

B：白骨精 B1：B變成的村姑 B2：B變成的太婆

B3：B變化成的老頭 N：哪吒

T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now? S: Bajie,map!E:(摸出，遞給S)

S: Look,master(湊近T)………（T、S一齊轉(zhuǎn)向E）

T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!

E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)

T:(縮手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west E: But……

T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing!Map?

E:(遞)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.S: Fat Pig!

E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ，I will……….S: You will what(兇相)?

E:(軟禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!

T:（輕咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?

E: You see ,master is hungry,too!

T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!

J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea? S: No problem!(安裝)（B已躲在一旁偷看）

E: This is…..?

S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books.So I made this.No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific!Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye!(走)

T: Let’s play cards!(三人開始打牌)音樂(lè)《斗地主》

B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(變成B1)B1:(接近三人，望著)Can I join you?

T: I’m sorry,lady.We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.B1:(在一旁觀看)Oh,Chance!Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!

T: Oh….I win!Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand.Come in and teachme!(準(zhǔn)備開電網(wǎng)門)

S:(回來(lái)，看見B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1:（倒)Ah……

T:(氣憤)Wukong!Look what have done!She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t……

T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主題曲，走音離譜)

S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱頭)

T:(嗆住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!

B:(真身出現(xiàn))Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(變成太婆)B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?

T: Daughter?...(連忙擋住地尸體)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T擋)

S:（咬牙切齒）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T頭，T暈，S再打死B2)E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)

J: Look,(伸食指)how many?

T:Two…..(暈乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(變成B3)

B3:(看到B1,B2尸體)Oh….,my daughter, my wife!Who did it?！(哭喊)S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)

T:（想阻止，未及）You,you.....(險(xiǎn)些暈，E,J扶住)You have killed three lives!

S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go！S:(悲，離去)（音樂(lè)，營(yíng)造 “假”悲傷氣氛）《人鬼情未了》

E: Master, brother Monkey is.......T: Scratch!Don't mention that guy any more!

B:(出現(xiàn))Ha,ha,ha!(三尸體B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飄”走)T:（驚）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被擊退)B:(抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......S:(悄悄走到B后，打B,B暈)A thousand years later.T: Wukong?

E: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!

T: I,I can't understand......What happened?

S: Master,your IQ needs increasing!This monster changed its appearance

into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out? S:(沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直覺(jué))N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?

S;Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(對(duì)T)I've called the police.N:(搖醒B)You are under arrest.(出示證件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(帶走B)

T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小聲)S: What? T: I'm sorry.S: Em? Louder,please?

T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音樂(lè)響）《敢問(wèn)路在何方》（這個(gè)放伴奏）

T: Let's go guys!(歌)

S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.T.S.E.J: Ah......Ah......Sleeping on the ground again we set out.T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year

go on.You wonder where the road is.The road is under your feet.T.S.E.J: You uonder where the road is, the road is under your feet.....英語(yǔ)話劇劇本The Bus

A Story about Love and Stinky Feet

5-6人英語(yǔ)劇本，公交車上的故事，適合大學(xué)生活，關(guān)于愛和臭腳的故事。Female student A:,Female student B,Female student C,Boy A: Wang Chiang-rui Boy B,Old woman, Scene One

(Three female students are chatting on a bus.Because all the seats are taken, they are standing, holding onto some plastic rings hanging down from the bus roof.Two boys are sleeping in their seats.Then the bus arrives at a stop and an old woman gets on.She looks at the seats.Seeing no empty seats, she stands next to a female student and holds onto a plastic ring.)

Old woman: There're no empty seats.I guess I'll have to stand.(The female students find the old woman not having a seat.They want to help her find one to sit in.)

Female student A: We should find a seat for her.Female student B: Right.Those two bad boys did not give their seats to her.(The two boys continue to sleep.)Female student C: We should find a seat for her.Female students A & B: Yes.(Female student A goes to Boy A and taps on his shoulder.)Female Student A: Excuse me, could you give your seat to that old lady?(Boy A stretches and continues to sleep.Female students A and B look at each other.Female student B taps on Boy A's shoulder.)Female Student B: Hey!Can you give your seat to that old lady? Boy A:(wakes up)I lined up for twenty hours yesterday to buy A-Mei's new album.I'm very tired.I'm sorry I can't give my seat to the old lady.(continues to sleep)Female student C: What should we do? Female student B: Let's ask the other boy.Boy B:(gets up suddenly)Ah!All:(startled)Ah!Female student B: What happened? Female student C: Why did you scream? Boy B: I had a nightmare.It was terrible.Female student B: Excuse me, can you give your seat to that old lady?(Boy B falls asleep.)Female student A: Hello!Is it OK for you to make room for that old lady? Boy B: Let me sleep, please.I read an English novel all night last night and didn't get any sleep.Can you let me sleep for a while? Female student A: Well, we've tried.Female student B: The young man is really brash.Old woman: Thank you, young ladies!I'm OK!Don't think I'm an old woman.I am healthy.(makes a few kicks like a young man)

Female student C: Maybe we worry too much.The old lady's very healthy.(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly and the old woman falls over.It makes Boy A wake up.)

Boy A: Oh!Are you OK? Old woman: Oh!Oh!My waist!

Boy A: You can take my seat.(helps the old woman to the seat)Female student C: Hmm.He just got his conscience.Female student A: Yeah!I was just about to say they got no manners.Female student B: Yeah.I thought he was a cold-blooded animal.Boy A: Hey!Watch your own manners.I've given her my seat.I'm really very tired.(At this time Boy B is embarrassed.He dares not continue to sleep.)Old woman: Thank you, young man.I'm old and useless.Boy B: Don't say that.If I'd given you my seat earlier, the accident wouldn't have happened.(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again.Boy A falls down.)Scene Two

(The Old woman and Boy B sit in the seats.Boy A is standing behind the three girls and drowsing.The three girls continue to chat.Boy A is drowsing carelessly and bumps into Female student A's body.)

Female student A: Oh!Who touched me?(turns her head around and sees Boy A standing behind her)It's you, right?

Boy A: What? Female student B: Why? You did it intentionally, didn't you? Boy A: Wait.I didn't do anything.Female student C: You touched her intentionally, right? Boy A: Hey, I'm not that kind of person.(looks at Boy B)Hey… Is it you? Boy B:(confused and shakes his head)Not me.I was sleeping.(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again.Boy A bumps into Female student A again.)Female student A:(angry)Still saying it wasn't you? You pig!Boy A: I didn't mean it.Old woman: Nowadays boys are not the same as those in the past.Boys in the past were all very polite.Now boys are reckless.Female student C: Now what do you have to say? Apologize to her.Hurry!Boy A: Alright!Alright!(to female student A)I'm sorry.(Female student A ignores him and continues to chat with the other two girls.)Boy A: It's not my day today.Boy B: Gentlemen don't fight with women.And she's no nice woman.Old woman: Nowadays girls don't have good temper.Time really changed.Boy B: Older people know more than us.Old woman: When I was a young student, I got love letters from many men every day.For the sake of manners, I went out with different men every day.(Boys A and B don't know what to say.Suddenly the bus driver hits the brake.The old woman bumps into Female student C's hips.)Female student C:(surprised)You.....(The old woman looks at Female student C and says nothing.)Old woman: You have nice hips.Female student B: I can't believe the old woman is capable of sexual harassment.Female student C: Maybe nowadays old people are not the same as those in the past.Female student A: Maybe after losing her husband, she feels lonely.Female student B: Ah!Here we are.Let's get off.Female student C: We'd better stay away from those strange people.(Female students get off the bus.)

Boy B: Who are those strange people? They're real strange.(helps the old woman up)Are you O.K.? Those young girls have no sympathy.Old woman:(feels Boy B's hand)You also have a pair of very fine hands.Boy B:(startled)What?

Boy A: This old woman is also very strange.Boy B: Let's go!

Old woman: Don't be shy, young man.I have held such kind of hand for a long time.(Boy B frees himself from the old woman's hand and gets off.)Old woman:(looks at Boy A)You're nice, too.Boy A: Hmm, good-bye.(gets off).

第四篇：搞笑英文話劇劇本(三打白骨精)

搞笑英文話劇劇本

Three Times’ Beating Monster

人物：T唐僧 S：孫悟空 E：豬八戒 J：沙僧

B：白骨精 B1：B變成的村姑 B2：B變成的太婆

B3：B變化成的老頭 N：哪吒

T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now? S: Bajie,map!E:(摸出，遞給S)

S: Look,master(湊近T)………（T、S一齊轉(zhuǎn)向E）

T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!

E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)

T:(縮手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west E: But……

T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing!Map?

E:(遞)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.S: Fat Pig!

E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ，I will……….S: You will what(兇相)?

E:(軟禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!

T:（輕咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?

E: You see ,master is hungry,too!

T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!

J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea? S: No problem!(安裝)（B已躲在一旁偷看）

E: This is…..?

S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books.So I made this.No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific!Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye!(走)

T: Let’s play cards!(三人開始打牌)音樂(lè)《斗地主》

B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(變成B1)B1:(接近三人，望著)Can I join you?

T: I’m sorry,lady.We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.B1:(在一旁觀看)Oh,Chance!Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!

T: Oh….I win!Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand.Come in and teachme!(準(zhǔn)備開電網(wǎng)門)

S:(回來(lái)，看見B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1:（倒)Ah……

T:(氣憤)Wukong!Look what have done!She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t……

T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主題曲，走音離譜)

S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱頭)

T:(嗆住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!

B:(真身出現(xiàn))Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(變成太婆)B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?

T: Daughter?...(連忙擋住地尸體)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T擋)

S:（咬牙切齒）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T頭，T暈，S再打死B2)E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)

J: Look,(伸食指)how many?

T:Two…..(暈乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(變成B3)

B3:(看到B1,B2尸體)Oh….,my daughter, my wife!Who did it?！(哭喊)S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)

T:（想阻止，未及）You,you.....(險(xiǎn)些暈，E,J扶住)You have killed three lives!

S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go！S:(悲，離去)（音樂(lè)，營(yíng)造 “假”悲傷氣氛）《人鬼情未了》

E: Master, brother Monkey is.......T: Scratch!Don't mention that guy any more!

B:(出現(xiàn))Ha,ha,ha!(三尸體B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飄”走)T:（驚）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被擊退)B:(抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......S:(悄悄走到B后，打B,B暈)A thousand years later.T: Wukong?

E: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!

T: I,I can't understand......What happened?

S: Master,your IQ needs increasing!This monster changed its appearance

into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out? S:(沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直覺(jué))N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?

S;Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(對(duì)T)I've called the police.N:(搖醒B)You are under arrest.(出示證件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(帶走B)

T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小聲)S: What? T: I'm sorry.S: Em? Louder,please?

T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音樂(lè)響）《敢問(wèn)路在何方》（這個(gè)放伴奏）

T: Let's go guys!(歌)

S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.T.S.E.J: Ah......Ah......Sleeping on the ground again we set out.T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year

go on.You wonder where the road is.The road is under your feet.T.S.E.J: You uonder where the road is, the road is under your feet......

第五篇：三打白骨精話劇劇本

三打白骨精話劇劇本

T:唐僧(A)S:孫悟空

(B)E:豬八戒(C)J:沙僧(D)B:白骨精(E)B1:B變成村姑

B2:B變成太婆

B3:B變化成老頭

T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?

阿彌陀佛，我們這是到哪了？

S: Bajie,map!

八戒，地圖！E:(摸出，遞給S)S: Look,boss(湊近T)???（T、S一齊轉(zhuǎn)向E）

師傅，請(qǐng)看。

T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!

八戒，我跟你講了多少次了，不要帶這種美女的圖片！E: Oh, boss!Forgive me。(伸手拿回)

哦，師傅！原諒我吧。

T:(縮手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west 為師先替你保管，到西天了再給你。E: But??

但是??

T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing!Map? 阿彌陀佛，色即是空，空即是色！地圖？

E:(遞)Here.Em?? we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.給，嗯??我們已經(jīng)到白虎山了！哎呀，我走不動(dòng)了！再說(shuō)，我這肚子也餓了。S: Fat Pig!肥豬!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will???.死猴子，有本事再說(shuō)一遍，再說(shuō)?? S: You will what(兇相)? 再說(shuō)你怎么樣？

S: No problem!(安裝)（B已躲在一旁偷看）

沒(méi)問(wèn)題！

（白骨精躲在一旁偷看）J: This is?..? S: Electric net!I made this.No monster can approach you if you stay in it!

伏魔圈！只要待在里面，就沒(méi)有妖怪能接近！

T: Em??ok，we will stay in it!

嗯??好的，我們會(huì)呆在里面的！S: Bye!(飛走)

俺老孫去也。

T: Let’s play cards!(三人開始打牌)音樂(lè)《斗地主》

我們斗地主吧！

B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(變成B1)

哈哈！伏魔圈？太小兒科了吧。B1:(接近三人，望著)Can I join you?

我也可以玩嗎？

J: I’m sorry,lady.We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.不好意思，姑娘。我們?cè)诙返刂鳎齻€(gè)人夠了。B1:(在一旁觀看)Oh,Chance!Bomb!

噢，機(jī)會(huì)來(lái)了！炸彈！T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!

王炸！

T: Oh?.I win!Em??,Lady,you are a boss-hand.Come in and teach me!

喔?我贏了！嗯?，姑娘，你是老手吧。進(jìn)來(lái)教我！S:(回來(lái)，看見B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)

啊，妖怪！

B1:（倒)Ah??

慘叫聲

T:(氣憤)Wukong!Look what have done!She is my teacher!

悟空！你在干嘛！她是我的師傅!S: She is a monster!

她是妖怪！T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t??

噢，師傅，別??

T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more??you open the door?(泰坦尼克主題曲，走音離譜)

太晚了！Once more??(緊箍咒)S: Please,Please,oh,no??(痛苦抱頭)T:(嗆住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!

悟空，為師早就跟你講了！（不要亂殺生）

B:(真身出現(xiàn))Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(變成太婆)

哼!孫悟空，讓我教訓(xùn)一下你！B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?

（長(zhǎng)老）請(qǐng)問(wèn)，你們見過(guò)我女兒沒(méi)？ T: Daughter?...(連忙擋住尸體)No,sorry!S:（咬牙切齒）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!

好你個(gè)妖怪，我打死你！E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)

師傅，你還好吧？

這個(gè)地方八戒要表現(xiàn)出墻頭草的樣子。

T：Don’t say this.（這時(shí)放《only you》，當(dāng)做緊箍咒）Only you??（不要再說(shuō)了。念緊箍咒。）

白骨精現(xiàn)身。

B：Wahahaha，Sun Wukong，I will teach you a lesson.哇哈哈哈，孫悟空，我馬上就給你個(gè)教訓(xùn)。

白骨精變身老婦出場(chǎng)。

B2：Daughter.Daughter.Whereis my daughter?Hello, have you seen my daughter? 女兒啊，女兒啊，女兒你在哪里??？【對(duì)唐僧】你好，請(qǐng)問(wèn)你看到我女兒了嗎？

T : Your daughter??故意作出擋住村姑尸體的樣子 你女兒??

悟空剛從緊箍咒的痛苦中清醒過(guò)來(lái)，看到老婦。

S:You are the monster, I will beat you.我打死你這個(gè)死妖精。

聽到這句話，唐僧去擋老婦，孫悟空把唐僧推到在地后，將老婦打死。沙僧扶起唐僧。

J: Master，are you OK? How many?

師父，怎么樣，你還好嗎？【伸出兩根手指】這是幾

T：Two，game over Sun Wukong.兩個(gè)啦，孫悟空，你死定啦。

見唐僧已經(jīng)對(duì)悟空產(chǎn)生不滿，這時(shí)白骨精抓住時(shí)機(jī)，變成老頭出來(lái)。老頭出場(chǎng)后，看到倒在地上的老伴和女兒，狂奔過(guò)去。

B3：Oh，my wife，my daughter , who did it？（噢，我的女兒啊，我的老伴啊，這是誰(shuí)干的？）

悟空轉(zhuǎn)身，見又一個(gè)妖怪來(lái)了，果斷舉起金箍棒就要打。

s：You are going to die, monster.見閻王去吧，死妖精。

T：Oh Wukong，you have killed three lives.（悟空，你竟然殺了三個(gè)人。

S :They are not humanbeing，they are monsters.（他們不是人，他們是妖精.）

T:（想阻止，未及）You,you.....(險(xiǎn)些暈，E,J扶住)You have killed three lives!

你，你??你已經(jīng)傷了三條人命了！

S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!

不，他們不是人！都是妖怪變的！

T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go！

妖怪？你才是妖怪！你走，不要再讓我看見你！S:(悲，離去)（音樂(lè)，營(yíng)造 “假”悲傷氣氛）《人鬼情未了》 J: boss, brother Monkey is.......師傅，猴哥這是??

T: Don't mention that guy any more!不要再提他了！

B:(出現(xiàn))Ha,ha,ha!(三尸體B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飄”走)T:（驚）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被擊退)

唐僧，你好愚蠢！

B:(抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......我要吃你的肉，哈哈哈哈??

S:(悄悄走到B后，打B,B暈)A thousand years later.T: Wukong?

悟空

E: Oh,Brother Monkey!（猴哥）J: Our hero is back!

我們的英雄回來(lái)了！

T: I,I can't understand......What happened?

發(fā)生什么事了？

S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing!This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!

師傅，你應(yīng)該提高一下智商了！這個(gè)妖怪為了騙你變化成三個(gè)模樣！T: How,how did you find out?

你怎么發(fā)現(xiàn)的？

S:(沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直覺(jué))

??猴子的直覺(jué)。

T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小聲)

悟空，這次是為師錯(cuò)怪了你，對(duì)不起！S: What? T: I'm sorry.S: Em? Louder,please?

嗯？麻煩您大聲點(diǎn)行嗎？ T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)