第一篇：荊軻刺秦王搞笑版(英語對話)

《 荊珂刺秦王》Aside： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.旁白：很久以前有一個(gè)瘋狂的國家，在這個(gè)瘋狂的國家有一些瘋狂的人，試圖用瘋狂的方式顯示瘋狂的歷史。荊軻先生是最有名的劍客，被送往秦國殺“嬴政”國王。但最終他失敗了。你想知道當(dāng)時(shí)發(fā)生了什么？好了，下一個(gè)節(jié)目會告訴你真相。丹太子(掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?鏡子，鏡子，告訴我，誰是世界上最漂亮的人？(畫外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!是你呀！)Thank you mirror!謝謝你鏡子?。鎸τ^眾）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do?我是丹太子，魔鏡說我是世界上最有吸引力的人。但嬴政是一位充滿嫉妒的家伙,我如果鏡子告訴他真相，我覺得他會殺了。我怕得要命?，F(xiàn)在我能做些什么?(向幕里大叫)Where is my minister? 我的大臣在哪里?阿三(畢恭畢敬): Honey, I am coming.親愛的,我就來了。太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!太子丹:我反復(fù)告訴你,你應(yīng)該叫我“我最美麗、優(yōu)雅、英俊迷人,可愛,聰明,最親愛的丹王子”!阿三：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng（作殺狀）當(dāng)然，親愛的！我有一個(gè)好主意。我們可以找到一個(gè)英雄殺死嬴政。太子：

Oh yeah.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（贊許狀）Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 太子:噢是啊。在這個(gè)世紀(jì)里什么商品最昂貴?人才,人才!好主意!但是誰是最合適的人選?阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.阿三:經(jīng)篩選后我手上有兩個(gè)很有前途的殺手。一個(gè)是李莫愁小姐,另一個(gè)是荊軻先生。明天，他們將為成為世界第1殺手PK。太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?太子:嗯,告訴我盡快的贏家,好嗎?阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中劉德華&金成武決斗時(shí)的音樂）荊軻：Are you Li mochou?李莫愁：Yes.荊軻：OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.好吧。我是荊軻,你肯定如雷貫耳了吧,我要讓你知道我才是天下第一殺手。李莫愁：Are you challenging me?你是挑釁我嗎?荊軻：Of course!聳聳肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音樂起兩人沖上前來，一陣刀光劍影，李莫愁倒地，荊軻大笑李莫愁痛苦狀：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?李莫愁痛苦狀:發(fā)生什么事了嗎?你為什么不疼嗎?荊軻: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we?贏一個(gè)人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？荊軻再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 太子丹：我的天??！你能給我一個(gè)創(chuàng)新的回答“你好嗎？” 荊柯：Sure!荊柯：當(dāng)然！太子丹：How are you?荊柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?荊柯：很好，謝謝你和你的妻子嗎？ 太子丹暈倒荊柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!荊柯：嗨，伙計(jì)，我是在開玩笑！太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（畢恭畢敬）May I have your name card, please?太子丹：哦，我是在開玩笑太（畢恭畢敬）請問您的名片？ 荊軻從兜里掏出一卷紙，上面寫著：To be or not to be, that's a question.生存還是毀滅，這是一個(gè)問題。阿三：Hero，we need your help.阿三：英雄，我們需要你們的幫助。荊柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.太子丹：你可以得到很多錢。荊柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?荊柯(誠懇狀)Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹與阿三（撞胯，擊掌）Yeah!Action Ш（《大話西游》主題曲響起）荊珂挽著妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.阿三：英雄，我們已經(jīng)達(dá)到了沂水河。荊珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends荊珂：只要停在這里。再見了，我的朋友太子丹：I will miss you, baby.太子丹：我會想念你，寶貝。（太子丹，阿三下。停頓?！短┨鼓峥颂枴分黝}曲起，荊軻與妻子做Jack和rose在船頭的經(jīng)典造型，妻子扭過頭來。）荊珂（深情狀）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救贖》）妻子：我愛你！你對我意味著更多比整個(gè)世界的任何事情！荊珂(流淚)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.我更愛你。哪怕是世界末日我都會愛著你。（選自《飄》)妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.妻子：嗯。做到這一點(diǎn)是一個(gè)男人！我會在這里等著你。荊珂（欲走還留，執(zhí)子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克號沉船時(shí)，Jack對Rose的傾訴）荊珂：親愛的！你要幫我這個(gè)榮譽(yù)...答應(yīng)我活下去...你永遠(yuǎn)不會放棄...不管發(fā)生什么

事...無論多么絕望...答應(yīng)我，永不放棄對我的承諾去。妻子:“I promise.”妻子：“我答應(yīng)你?！鼻G軻:“Never let go.“荊軻：“永不放棄。”妻子:”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go."妻子：“我保證我永遠(yuǎn)不會放棄的，杰克我永遠(yuǎn)不會放棄。?！保ㄇG軻的發(fā)音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克號》的臺詞。）妻子努

第二篇：英語搞笑短劇role_play荊軻刺秦王

荊軻刺秦王

很久很久以前中國戰(zhàn)國時(shí)代，有兩個(gè)國家的王子-------燕國的太子丹和秦國的嬴政，他們是很好的朋友，他們經(jīng)常一起賞花，喝酒，唱歌，游玩。有一天，他們還在游山玩水的時(shí)候，突然發(fā)現(xiàn)了一面鏡子，一面有著神奇魔力的鏡子，這是一面可以回答任何問題的魔鏡。于是，太子丹和嬴政迫不及待的湊了上去。

Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：魔鏡啊魔鏡，我?guī)浢矗?魔鏡說：“當(dāng)然了我的殿下，你是整個(gè)燕國最帥的人” 太子丹高興狀

然后，張璐上，問：魔鏡啊魔鏡，告訴我，那誰是這個(gè)世界上最帥的人呢？Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(魔鏡：It’s you)張璐做極度囂張狀。對太子丹說：“小弟啊，拿著這個(gè)鏡子，自卑去吧，我是這個(gè)世界上最帥的人啊，啊哈哈啊哈........太子丹回到宮中

“欺人太甚了，太過分了，我要報(bào)復(fù)??！我的仆人，你在哪里？” 仆人上

“哦，親愛的，我來了Honey, I am coming。”

太子丹：“錯(cuò)，我應(yīng)經(jīng)告訴你多少遍了，你應(yīng)該叫我最漂亮，最美麗，最英俊，最迷人，最可愛，最聰明和最親愛的太子丹。I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!仆人：“對不起，親愛的，我知道錯(cuò)了，我完全知道你現(xiàn)在的苦惱，我有一個(gè)好主意，那就是~找一個(gè)英雄殺了嬴政！” I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作殺狀）

太子丹：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世紀(jì)最需要的是什么，人才！這句話要跟觀眾交流，最好由觀眾來回答，然后拍仆人肩膀，做贊許狀）好主意，可是誰是好的人選呢？Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 仆人：經(jīng)調(diào)查，有兩個(gè)人比較合適，一個(gè)是李莫愁小姐，一個(gè)是荊軻，明天他們將為誰是天下第一殺手而決斗。After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子丹：“太好了，趕快讓我看看勝利者，行么？” Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 仆人：“好的，開拍Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中劉德華&金成武決斗時(shí)的音樂）荊軻Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荊軻OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁A(yù)re you challenging me?你想挑戰(zhàn)我么？ 荊軻Of course!聳聳肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音樂起兩人沖上前來“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，兩刀砍死你啊。?！崩钅畹沟厍G軻大笑李莫愁痛苦狀 李莫愁：“發(fā)生了什么，為什么你不受傷？What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?” 荊軻：“你根本就不懂的什么是劍，哎獨(dú)孤求敗啊….ai…..In solitude I seek for defeat..李莫愁：“Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.（阿甘正傳臺詞）荊軻再次大笑

太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you? 荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you? 太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荊柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?

荊柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹暈倒

荊柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（畢恭畢敬）May I have your name card, please? 荊軻從兜里掏出一卷紙，上面寫著：

To be or not to be, that's a question.太子丹：“哇哦，如此的富有詩意，不愧是大俠?！?仆人：Hero，we need your help.荊柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荊柯：I am very busy now!仆人：IC, ID, IQ card? 荊柯：I am very very busy now!仆人(手指上場的美女，激動狀): Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.荊柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!仆人：What? What’s the TCM?

荊柯;Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.仆人：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 觀眾甲：TCM-Traditional Chinese MM。

太子丹：我必須使出我的王牌了，這就是立頓減肥茶，中國聯(lián)合利華馳名商標(biāo)。I must show you the trump card.Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea.It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荊柯（激動）：減肥茶，哦這是我夢見了數(shù)千次的東西，我的妻子一直威脅我，如果我不減肥就要離開我。Slimming tea!I have dreamed of it for thousands of times.My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.太子丹：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take it!Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？難道你真的想要嗎……（大話西游臺詞）（《No matter》音樂起，荊軻先與仆人跳探戈，擁入懷中，又甩出去，仆人做嘔吐狀。然后荊軻與太子丹跳倫巴，最后太子丹擺一個(gè)女性化的造型，向后彎腰并抬其中一條腿，荊軻做調(diào)戲狀。）

荊柯(誠懇狀)Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹：真的？ 荊軻：真的，親愛的。

太子丹與阿三（撞胯，擊掌）Yeah!（《大話西游》主題曲響起 荊珂挽著妻子，太子丹,仆人在后.仆人：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荊軻，妻子，李莫愁，太子丹，A君，B,C,旁白A，旁白B，美女

荊珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby.（太子丹，仆人下。停頓?！短┨鼓峥颂枴分黝}曲起，荊軻與妻子做Jack和rose在船頭的經(jīng)典造型，忽然荊軻看到一個(gè)美女——此時(shí)一個(gè)中國古典美女經(jīng)過，向荊軻拋媚眼，并拋下定情手絹。荊軻高興的盯著美女看，妻子發(fā)覺不對，扭過頭來。）荊珂（急忙收斂）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!你對我來說比世界上的任何事情都重要。（《肖申克的救贖》）

荊珂(流淚)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.(哪怕是世界末日我都會愛著你，選自《飄》)妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.荊珂（欲走還留，執(zhí)子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克號沉船時(shí)，Jack對Rose的傾訴）.妻子:“I promise.” 荊軻:“Never let go.“

妻子:”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go." 妻子努力擠出幾滴眼淚，荊珂上船，漸漸遠(yuǎn)去

妻子：It’s a good day to die.Never come back.Never…… Never……今天是個(gè)送死的好日子的，別回來啊別回來…….妻子(掏出手機(jī)撥號，仆人接手機(jī))： Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life assurance（人壽保險(xiǎn)）$1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.仆人：Okay okay!

旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.The End

第三篇：英語搞笑短劇role_play荊軻刺秦王

荊軻刺秦王

很久很久以前中國戰(zhàn)國時(shí)代，有兩個(gè)國家的王子-------燕國的白哥和秦國的嬴政，他們是很好的朋友，他們經(jīng)常一起賞花，喝酒，唱歌，游玩。有一天，他們還在游山玩水的時(shí)候，突然發(fā)現(xiàn)了一面鏡子，一面有著神奇魔力的鏡子，這是一面可以回答任何問題的魔鏡。于是，白哥和嬴政迫不及待的湊了上去。

白哥（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：魔鏡啊魔鏡，我?guī)浢矗?魔鏡說：“當(dāng)然了我的殿下，你是整個(gè)燕國最帥的人” 白哥高興狀

然后，張璐上，問：魔鏡啊魔鏡，告訴我，那誰是這個(gè)世界上最帥的人呢？Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(魔鏡：It’s you)張璐做極度囂張狀。對白哥說：“小弟啊，拿著這個(gè)鏡子，自卑去吧，我是這個(gè)世界上最帥的人啊，啊哈哈啊哈........白哥回到宮中

“欺人太甚了，太過分了，我要報(bào)復(fù)??！我的仆人，你在哪里？” 仆人上

“哦，親愛的，我來了Honey, I am coming。” 白哥：“錯(cuò)，我應(yīng)經(jīng)告訴你多少遍了，你應(yīng)該叫我最漂亮，最美麗，最英俊，最迷人，最可愛，最聰明和最親愛的太子丹。I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!仆人：“對不起，親愛的，我知道錯(cuò)了，我完全知道你現(xiàn)在的苦惱，我有一個(gè)好主意，那就是~找一個(gè)英雄殺了嬴政！” I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~

（作殺狀）

白哥：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世紀(jì)最需要的是什么，人才！這句話要跟觀眾交流，最好由觀眾來回答，然后拍仆人肩膀，做贊許狀）好主意，可是誰是好的人選呢？Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 仆人：經(jīng)調(diào)查，有兩個(gè)人比較合適，一個(gè)是李莫愁小姐，一個(gè)是荊軻，明天他們將為誰是天下第一殺手而決斗。After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.白哥：“太好了，趕快讓我看看勝利者，行么？” Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?

仆人：“好的，開拍Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中劉德華&金成武決斗時(shí)的音樂）荊軻Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荊軻OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁A(yù)re you challenging me?你想挑戰(zhàn)我么？ 荊軻Of course!聳聳肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音樂起兩人沖上前來“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，兩刀砍死你啊。?！崩钅畹沟厍G軻大笑李莫愁痛苦狀 李莫愁：“發(fā)生了什么，為什么你不受傷？What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?” 荊軻：“你根本就不懂的什么是劍，哎獨(dú)孤求敗啊….ai…..In solitude I seek for defeat..李莫愁：“Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.（阿甘正傳臺詞）

荊軻再次大笑

白哥上（抱拳）：How are you?

荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you?

白哥：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荊柯：Sure!

白哥：How are you?

荊柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?

白哥暈倒

荊柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

白哥：Oh, I’m kidding too!（畢恭畢敬）May I have your name card, please?

荊軻從兜里掏出一卷紙，上面寫著：

To be or not to be, that's a question.白哥：“哇哦，如此的富有詩意，不愧是大俠。”

仆人：Hero，we need your help.荊柯：I am busy now!

太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荊柯：I am very busy now!

仆人：IC, ID, IQ card?

荊柯：I am very very busy now!

仆人(手指上場的美女，激動狀): Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.荊柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!仆人：What? What’s the TCM?

荊柯;Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.仆人：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?

觀眾甲：TCM-Traditional Chinese MM。

白哥：我必須使出我的王牌了，這就是立頓減肥茶，中國聯(lián)合利華馳名商標(biāo)。I must show you the trump card.Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea.It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荊柯（激動）：減肥茶，哦這是我夢見了數(shù)千次的東西，我的妻子一直威脅我，如果我不減肥就要離開我。Slimming tea!I have dreamed of it for thousands of times.My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.白哥：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take it!Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？難道你真的想要嗎……（大話西游臺詞）（《No matter》音樂起，荊軻先與仆人跳探戈，擁入懷中，又甩出去，仆人做嘔吐狀。然后荊軻與白哥跳倫巴，最后白哥擺一個(gè)女性化的造型，向后彎腰并抬其中一條腿，荊軻做調(diào)戲狀。）

荊柯(誠懇狀)Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.白哥：真的？

荊軻：真的，親愛的。

太子丹與阿三（撞胯，擊掌）Yeah!

（《大話西游》主題曲響起

荊珂挽著妻子，白哥,仆人在后.仆人：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荊珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends

白哥：I will miss you, baby.（白哥，仆人下。停頓?！短┨鼓峥颂枴分黝}曲起，荊軻與妻子做Jack和rose在船頭的經(jīng)典造型，忽然荊軻看到一個(gè)美女——此時(shí)一個(gè)中國古典美女經(jīng)過，向荊軻拋媚眼，并拋下定情手絹。荊軻高興的盯著美女看，妻子發(fā)覺不對，扭過頭來。）

荊珂（急忙收斂）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!你對我來說比世界上的任何事情都重要。（《肖申克的救贖》）

荊珂(流淚)：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.(哪怕是世界末日我都會愛著你，選自《飄》)

妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.荊珂（欲走還留，執(zhí)子之手又曰）：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克號沉船時(shí)，Jack對Rose的傾訴）.妻子:“I promise.”

荊軻:“Never let go.“

妻子:”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go."

妻子努力擠出幾滴眼淚，荊珂上船，漸漸遠(yuǎn)去

妻子：It’s a good day to die.Never come back.Never…… Never……今天是個(gè)送死的好日子的，別回來啊別回來…….妻子(掏出手機(jī)撥號，仆人接手機(jī))： Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life assurance（人壽保險(xiǎn)）$1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.仆人：Okay okay!

旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.The End

第四篇：荊軻刺秦王(搞笑英語小話劇,英語及翻譯)

《荊珂刺秦王》

旁白：Long long ago, there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.很久以前，有一個(gè)瘋狂的國家，在這個(gè)瘋狂的國家有一些瘋狂的人，試圖用瘋狂的方式展示瘋狂的歷史。荊軻是最有名的劍客并被派去殺清王，嬴政。但最后他失敗了。你想知道當(dāng)時(shí)發(fā)生了什么事？好吧，下面將會告訴你真相。

Action I 太子丹：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(畫外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!)Thank u mirror!I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do? Where is my minister? 鏡子，鏡子，告訴我，這個(gè)世界上最漂亮的人是誰？(畫外音：是你，太子丹！)謝謝你的鏡子！我是太子丹，魔鏡說我是世界上最有吸引力的男人。但嬴政是一個(gè)嫉妒的家伙，我覺得如果鏡子告訴他真相他會殺了我。我很害怕。我該怎么辦呢？我大臣在哪里？

阿三: Honey, I am coming.親愛的，我來了。

太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

我告訴過你一次又一次，你應(yīng)該叫我“我最美麗的、優(yōu)雅、英俊、迷人、可愛、聰明和最親愛的太子丹”！

阿三：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~ 當(dāng)然，親愛的！我有一個(gè)好主意。我們可以找一個(gè)英雄去殺嬴政~

太子：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 歐耶！二十一世紀(jì)最需要的是什么，人才！好主意！但誰是合適的人選？ 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JingKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.經(jīng)過篩選后我手上有兩個(gè)有前途的人。一是李莫愁小姐，另一個(gè)是荊軻先生。明天他們將PK為世界頭號殺手。

太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 好的，給我盡快得主，好嗎？ 阿三：Yes.Action II 荊軻：Are you Li mochou? 李莫愁：Yes.荊軻：OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.好的。我是荊軻，你知道，我會讓你知道我是世界頭號殺手之王。李莫愁：Are you challenging me? 你想挑戰(zhàn)我嗎？ 荊軻：Off course!

李莫愁：Come on!李莫愁：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?

發(fā)生了什么？你為什么不疼？

荊軻: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we? 贏一個(gè)人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？

李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.媽媽常說：“生活就像一盒巧克力，莫愁。你永遠(yuǎn)不知道你會得到什么。“我明白了，媽媽是對的。太子丹：How are you? 荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you? 太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?

哦，天哪！你能給我一個(gè)創(chuàng)新的回答“你好嗎？”？ 荊柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you? 荊柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 荊柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!May I have your name card, please? 哦，我也是在開玩笑呢！我可以要一張你的名片嗎？ 阿三：Hero，we need your help.荊柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荊柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? IC、ID、IQ卡？

荊柯：I am very very busy now!阿三: Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.看！她是世界上最漂亮的女孩。如果你說好的，她就是你的。

荊柯：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!我不得不說她是一個(gè)非常性感美麗的女孩，但中醫(yī)是我唯一的愛！阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

荊柯：Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.嘿，兄弟！你這么聰明，但為什么你不知道中醫(yī)？任何人都可以給你答案。阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 觀眾甲：TCM-Traditional Chinese MM.傳統(tǒng)的中國美眉

太子丹：I must show you the trump card.Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea.It is a brand new product of Unilever China.我必須告訴你的王牌。女士們，先生們，這是立頓減肥茶。這是一個(gè)全新的聯(lián)合利華中國產(chǎn)品。

荊柯：Slimming tea!I have dreamed of it for thousands of times.My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.減肥茶！我夢想它數(shù)千次。我的妻子總是威脅說要離開我，如果我不能減輕我的體重。

阿三：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take it!Do you really like? Really? 你想得倒好？假如你想要！你為什么保持沉默？你為什么看著我？雖然你很有誠意，我很高興，你還是要說出來。你不是真的想要吧？難道你真的想要？ 荊柯：Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.告訴我，我應(yīng)該做什么？我會為你做任何事。

Action III

阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.英雄，我們已經(jīng)達(dá)到了沂水河。

荊珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends 就停在這里。再見，我的朋友 太子丹：I will miss you, baby.荊珂：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!我愛你。對我而言，你比這個(gè)世界上的任何東西都更有意義。荊珂：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.我更愛你。哪怕是世界末日我都會愛著你。

妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.怎么樣。作為一個(gè)男人，就去做！我會一直在這里等你。

荊珂：Sweetheart!You must do me this honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of that promise 親愛的！你一定要幫我這個(gè)忙?答應(yīng)我你會活下去?你絕不會放棄?不管發(fā)生什么事?無論多么的絕望?現(xiàn)在就答應(yīng)我，永遠(yuǎn)不要忘記你的承諾 妻子：“I promise.” 荊軻：“Never let go.“

永不放棄

妻子：”I promise.I will never let go, Jack.I'll never let go." 妻子：It’s a good day to die.Never come back.Never…… Never…… 這是一個(gè)去死的好日子。再也回不來了。不......從未......妻子：Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.謝謝你.當(dāng)我得到人壽保險(xiǎn)1000000美元，我將把它的一半，500000美元到您的帳戶。

阿三：Okay okay!旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.然后荊軻送往秦，最終被嬴政殺了。

第五篇：搞笑英語話劇劇荊軻刺秦王(正文及翻譯)

《荊珂刺秦王》

旁白：Long long ago, there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed.Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.很久以前，有一個(gè)瘋狂的國家，在這個(gè)瘋狂的國家有一些瘋狂的人，試圖用瘋狂的方式展示瘋狂的歷史。荊軻是最有名的劍客并被派去殺清王，嬴政。但最后他失敗了。你想知道當(dāng)時(shí)發(fā)生了什么事？好吧，下面將會告訴你真相。

Action I 太子丹：(上，掏出乒乓球拍梳頭，做自戀狀)Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(畫外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!太子丹高興狀)Thank u mirror!I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth.I am so scared.So what can I do?（向幕里大叫）Where is my minister? 鏡子，鏡子，告訴我，這個(gè)世界上最漂亮的人是誰？(畫外音：是你，太子丹！)謝謝你的鏡子！我是太子丹，魔鏡說我是世界上最有吸引力的男人。但嬴政是一個(gè)嫉妒的家伙，我覺得如果鏡子告訴他真相他會殺了我。我很害怕。我該怎么辦呢？我大臣在哪里？

阿三:（畢恭畢敬）Honey, I am coming.親愛的，我來了。

太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!（極快速的說，邊說邊指點(diǎn)數(shù)落阿三）

我告訴過你一次又一次，你應(yīng)該叫我“我最美麗的、優(yōu)雅、英俊、迷人、可愛、聰明和最親愛的太子丹”！

阿三：Sure, honey!I have a good idea.We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~（作殺狀）

當(dāng)然，親愛的！我有一個(gè)好主意。我們可以找一個(gè)英雄去殺嬴政~

太子：Oh yeah~~~.What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!Good idea!But who is the right candidate? 歐耶！二十一世紀(jì)最需要的是什么，人才！好主意！但誰是合適的人選？ 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand.One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JingKe.Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.經(jīng)過篩選后我手上有兩個(gè)有前途的人。一是李莫愁小姐，另一個(gè)是荊軻先生。明天他們將PK為世界頭號殺手。太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 好的，給我盡快得主，好嗎？ 阿三：Yes.Action II 荊軻：（滑太空步上場）Are you Li mochou?（荊軻先上場，李莫愁隨后，上場后慢慢圍繞場地轉(zhuǎn)）李莫愁：Yes.荊軻：OK.I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.好的。我是荊軻，你知道，我會讓你知道我是世界頭號殺手之王。李莫愁：Are you challenging me? 你想挑戰(zhàn)我嗎？

荊軻：Off course!（聳聳肩表示同意，耍酷）李莫愁：Come on!（音樂起《DJ重金屬純音樂》）兩人沖上前來

荊軻：Look！帥哥！看！，帥哥

李莫愁回頭看太子丹，太子丹做自戀狀 荊軻揮刀砍中李莫愁

李莫愁倒地（李莫愁以單膝倒地的姿勢倒下，兩人保持背對）荊軻大笑（曾小賢的笑聲）

李莫愁：What happened? Are you 使詐？（向后看）發(fā)生了什么？你使詐？

荊軻: We don't need any reason to win a person.Don't we? Do we?（華麗轉(zhuǎn)身加甩頭發(fā)）

贏一個(gè)人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？

李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou.You never know what you're gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right.（上來兩個(gè)人把李莫愁扛走）

媽媽常說：“生活就像一盒巧克力，莫愁。你永遠(yuǎn)不知道你會得到什么。“我明白了，媽媽是對的。

荊軻再次大笑（假裝笑嗆著了，咳嗽~）太子丹：How are you?

荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you?（微笑）太子丹：Oh my God!Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?（伸出手，準(zhǔn)備和荊軻握手）

哦，天哪！你能給我一個(gè)創(chuàng)新的回答“你好嗎？” 荊柯：Sure!（扣了下鼻孔，然后向太子丹伸出手）

太子丹：How are you?（很不情愿，且很惡心，但還是握了手，收回手，并用力的甩了兩下）

荊柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?（正經(jīng)的說）太子丹吐血（阿三接住，荊軻從前面拉?。┣G柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!May I have your name card, please?（重新站起）哦，我也是在開玩笑呢！我可以要一張你的名片嗎？ 阿三：Hero，we need your help.荊柯：UFO!(荊軻手指天上，阿三望指的方向看)I am busy now!（快速的說）太子丹：You can get a lot of money.（太子丹跳到荊軻面前說）

荊柯：UFO!（荊軻手指另一邊，太子丹望指的方向看）I am very busy now!（再次快速的說）

阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? IC、ID、IQ卡？

荊柯：I am very very busy now!（指向另一邊的方向）太子丹響指一打，手一揮

音樂起《Nobody-Wonder片段》

阿三：（手指上場的美女，激動狀）Look!She is the most beautiful girl in the world.If you say O.K., she is yours.（雙手指向荊軻）

看！她是世界上最漂亮的女孩。如果你說好的，她就是你的。

荊柯：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!我不得不說她是一個(gè)非常性感美麗的女孩，但中醫(yī)是我唯一的愛！阿三：What? What’s the TCM?

荊柯：Hey, guy!You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? TCM is Traditional Chinese MM 嘿，兄弟！你這么聰明，但為什么你不知道中醫(yī)？TCM就是中國傳統(tǒng)美眉

太子丹：I must show you the trump card.Ladies and gentlemen, this is doudou tea It can kill your doudou！（手指向荊軻的臉，荊軻捂住臉）if you help us doudou tea is yours（手敲了敲痘痘茶，然后遞給荊軻）

我必須告訴你的王牌。女士們，先生們，這是痘痘茶。他可以治好你的痘痘 荊柯：doudou tea!I have dreamed of it for thousands of times.（把痘痘茶裝進(jìn)懷里）

痘痘茶！我夢想它數(shù)千次。

阿三：You want? Speak up if you want!Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Why don’t you close it up Although your eyes are full of sincerity（抱住荊軻用力的指了指他的腦門）,（荊軻地道的說了一句“讓我看看值不值啊”，然后拿出手掐指開始算）I’m very glad, you still have to speak up.Take it!Do you really like? Really? 你想得倒好？假如你想要！你為什么保持沉默？你為什么看著我？你為什么把它收起來？雖然你很有誠意，我很高興，你還是要說出來。你不是真的想要吧？難道你真的想要？

音樂起《豬八戒背媳婦片段》

荊軻與阿三開始跳舞，最后把阿三甩飛 音樂起《千年等一回片段》 荊軻與太子丹開始跳舞

荊柯：Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.告訴我，我應(yīng)該做什么？我會為你做任何事。太子丹與阿三（撞胯，擊掌）：Yeah！

Action III 音樂起

荊軻挽著妻子，太子丹，阿三在后

阿三：（跑到荊軻面前）Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.英雄，我們已經(jīng)達(dá)到了沂水河。

荊珂：Just stop here, please.Farewell, my friends 就停在這里。再見，我的朋友

太子丹：I will miss you, baby.（太子丹上前和荊軻擁抱，太子丹假裝荊軻身上很臭，剛抱到立馬離開，然后拍拍自己的衣服）音樂起《你是風(fēng)兒我是沙片段》 荊珂：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you!You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!我愛你。對我而言，你比這個(gè)世界上的任何東西都更有意義。

荊珂：I love you more.In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.我更愛你。哪怕是世界末日我都會愛著你。

妻子：Well.Be a man, just do it!I will be right here waiting for you.怎么樣。作為一個(gè)男人，就去做！我會一直在這里等你。

荊珂：Sweetheart!You must promise me…you must promise you will survive...you will never give up...no matter what happens...no matter how hopeless...never let go…never let go…never let go go go~~寶貝！你一定不能背叛我?你一定不能背叛我?你不要放棄?不管發(fā)生什么事?無論多么的絕望?現(xiàn)在就答應(yīng)我，永遠(yuǎn)不要忘記…永遠(yuǎn)不要忘記…永遠(yuǎn)不要忘記~~ 妻子：“I promise.” 音樂起《纖夫的愛》

荊軻拿著劍走出場，又繞了一圈，再走出場，歌曲唱完留給荊軻場一句“哥哥我岸上走”

妻子：It’s a good day to die.Never come back.Never…… Never…… 這是一個(gè)去死的好日子。再也回不來了。不......從未......妻子：Thank you very much.As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.謝謝你.當(dāng)我得到人壽保險(xiǎn)1000000美元，我將把它的一半，500000美元到您的帳戶。

阿三：Okay okay!

Action IV

旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.然后荊軻送往秦，最終被嬴政殺了。

荊軻(一個(gè)人上場拿著劍用地道的方言)：你敗跑啊，你敗跑啊你！音樂起《槍聲》 荊軻倒在地上 音樂起《秘密》

END